Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

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The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the others.

Automatic Negative Thoughts: Why We Have Them and How to Alleviate Them

Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are the immediate, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that occur when we are triggered during daily events and situations. ANTs reflect unpleasant and self-defeating expressions of our negative self-evaluation, affecting how we see ourselves, think others perceive us, and express these insecurities.

The question is, why are automatic negative thoughts so prevalent in social anxiety, and what can we do to alleviate their effect on our emotional well-being?

Our Neural Network

Our neural network, a complex system of interconnected nerve cells, circuits, and pathways, has the remarkable ability to adapt and change. This means we can continuously process information and respond favorably to our experiences, mitigating our self-sabotaging.

Social anxiety traps us in a cycle of fear and anxiety, hindering us from leading a normal life. We avoid opportunities to connect with others and the world around us. We are unduly conscious about how others perceive us and how we express that information.

Over the years, the metabolism of our brain has been inundated with an overabundance of adverse stimuli, but this does not mean we are destined to be trapped in a cycle of anxiety.

Despite its peculiar tendency to make traditional recovery efforts counterproductive, a robust awareness of the symptoms and traits of our condition provides a framework for reversing the lifelong path of emotional damage.

By examining the underlying causes and responding rationally, we can significantly reduce our social anxiety and create a brighter future.

You may be telling yourself all of that is well and good, but how did we get ourselves in this predicament in the first place? The following breaks down social anxiety’s negative trajectory, revealing how it developed into the irrational thoughts and behaviors we demonstrate daily

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

The Trajectory of Our Belief System

Our belief system, which is the foundation of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, shapes how we see and interact with the world. They are broken down into three primary, interactive patterns: core beliefs, intermediate beliefs, and automatic thoughts.

Core Beliefs

Core beliefs are our most deeply held attitudes about ourselves and others, shaped by our childhood caregivers, environment, and experiences. Attitudes are our initial ways of thinking and feeling about someone or something, and how we express those mental and emotional beliefs.

When we decline to question our core beliefs, we accept them as facts, ignoring evidence that contradicts them. Thus, we create or interpret situations that reinforce these beliefs. While deeply rooted and formed early in life, core beliefs are malleable, influenced by our intermediate beliefs. This flexibility of beliefs encourages an open-minded and receptive approach to change, as it means we can challenge and alter our core beliefs with new experiences and evidence.

Intermediate Beliefs

Intermediate beliefs act as a bridge between our core beliefs and automatic thoughts. Unlike core beliefs, they become more flexible through the acquisition of knowledge and awareness generated by further thought, experience, and the senses. Our intermediate beliefs profoundly influence our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.

Our attitudes are how our feelings, beliefs, and actions define our general evaluations of people, things, and concepts. Rules are guidelines or principles we believe must be followed to support our beliefs and actions.

Assumptions are the decisions defined by our rules. We accept these assumptions as accurate, but they are just subjective assessments of life developed by our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.

Our intermediate beliefs are the conduit to our automatic thoughts. Our trajectory from negative core and intermediate beliefs to the manifestation of our social anxiety adversely impacts the thoughts and behaviors we carry with us in social and performance situations.

Automatic Thoughts

As described, automatic thoughts, those quick, involuntary mental or emotional responses to triggers in our environment, are heavily influenced by our intermediate beliefs. These beliefs, which are shaped by our experiences, play a significant role in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) sustained by our social anxiety define our adverse automatic feelings and emotions.

Emotions are our automatic neurological responses to stimuli, and feelings are our unconscious interpretations of those emotions. It’s crucial to actively recognize and examine the feelings that arise from an emotion. This awareness is a vital part of engaging with our mental processes and understanding the triggers of our automatic negative thoughts.

Understanding the core and intermediate beliefs behind our automatic thoughts is a powerful tool. For instance, if we were often chosen last for high school events, we might develop the intermediate belief that we are unlikable and incapable, rooted in a core belief of insignificance. Conversely, if were are the captain of the popular girls’ volleyball team, our automatic thought might be, ‘I am talented and popular.’

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The Trajectory of Our Social Anxiety

Now that we’ve explained the evolution of our belief system, let’s explore the predictable, negative trajectory of our social anxiety. It starts with childhood disturbance.

Childhood Disturbance

We’ve discussed how childhood disturbance interferes with our optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development. Stemming primarily from poor parental rearing (although environment and genetics may play a part), the disturbance fosters core beliefs such as abandonment, neglect, expendability, and inadequacy.

The disturbance may be a one-time occurrence or a series of events. It may be accidental or intentional, real or imagined. It is not the fault of the child, yet it greatly significantly influences our core beliefs, making the two mutually interactive.

SAD Onset

Social anxiety disorder commonly emerges during adolescence, typically around age thirteen, but it can also surface later in life. This delayed onset can sometimes lead individuals to believe they didn’t have social anxiety until their later years. However, the susceptibility to SAD ostensibly begins with childhood disturbance and manifests during early adolescence.

As I recall, I was fearless as an eleven-year-old, visiting the alleys and tenements of Skid Row searching for my father until I found him in a room with a dirty sink and no toilet. My social anxiety seemed to take hold in the summer before high school when I was thirteen, which supports the statistics.

The development of intermediate beliefs extends roughly from childhood through adolescence (roughly ages three through eighteen). Therefore, placing SAD onset between negative core beliefs and negative intermediate beliefs is not fully accurate, but reasonable.

Situations

We understand a situation as a specific set of circumstances, including the facts, conditions, and events that affect us at a particular time and place. Our focus is on fear situations where we anticipate specific anxieties and worries will surface. These can vary widely and include social events, classroom settings, public swimming pools, beauty salons, and other common triggers for anxiety.

Each fear situation is as unique and subjective as the individuals experiencing it. By understanding these fear situations, we can better prepare for them.

Anticipated situations are those we know in advance will trigger our fears and anxieties. They may be one-time events, like a job interview or social gathering, or recurring events, such as a weekly class or everyday work setting.

Unexpected situations can catch us off guard, involving stress-inducing incidents such as a plumbing problem, an unanticipated guest, or losing a wallet.

By distinguishing between these two types of situations, we can better prepare ourselves to handle either scenario. For expected situations, we can strategize ahead of time to address our potential threats. This preparedness is a key tool in managing fear.

For unexpected situations, creating an emergency preparedness kit with practiced coping mechanisms is a practical reassurance.

To identify our expected fear situations, we ask ourselves several questions: Where are we when we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we doing, and what thoughts might come up? What specific parts of the situation do we perceive as problematic? How do we feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially? What worries or concerns challenge us? What’s the worst outcome we believe could happen? What might we imagine could occur? Who or what do we avoid because of these feelings?

The situations that provoke our fears and anxieties obviously precede our automatic negative thoughts, and we have placed them appropriately on our chart.

Triggers

A trigger is a psychological stimulus that evokes distressful feelings or memories and prompts an adverse emotional reaction or behavior. These triggers often originate from past experiences, incidents, observations, memories, images, and the behaviors of others.

It’s essential to acknowledge that even sensory reminders of a disturbance or traumatic event – such as sound, sight, smell, taste, or physical sensation – can trigger reactions, underscoring the profound impact of our past on our present responses.

For example, consider our toddler, Laura, from Chapter One, who developed core beliefs of insignificance and undesirability due to a lack of emotional support from her parents.

Years later, Laura’s difficulty making friends during high school lends credibility to her core and intermediate beliefs. Laura’s negative self-assessment is automatically triggered when a friend rejects her at a social event. She is consumed by automatic negative thoughts about her attractiveness and self-worth.

It’s important to recognize that automatic negative thinking is a common response to social anxiety and does not indicate personal weakness.

Automatic Negative Thoughts

As we defined at the beginning of this chapter, automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are the immediate, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that arise when we are triggered during everyday events and situations.

ANTs reflect unpleasant and self-defeating expressions of our negative self-appraisal, influencing how we view ourselves, think others perceive us, and how we express these insecurities.

These thoughts are irrational, self-defeating, and originate from our negative core beliefs, which are sustained by intermediate negative beliefs and our condition.

Fortunately, these self-sabotaging thinking patterns are not set in stone and can be replaced with self-affirming, productive thoughts that we actively develop during recovery, leading to a significant improvement in our emotional well-being.

Solutions

Triggers lead to the activation of our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Once we have a basic understanding of these triggers and the ANTs they generate, we can explore solutions.

Coping mechanisms are learned psychological tools and techniques that reduce anxiety and discomfort during stressful situations. These can be traditional or non-traditional methods to counteract our triggers, automatic negative thoughts, and behaviors that harm our emotional well-being.

These can include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or even engaging in a favorite hobby. As we progress, we will learn to identify and practice situationally effective coping mechanisms in simulated and real-world conditions.

There are many coping mechanisms to choose from. Some will be personally effective and others will not. Some may work only once or in specific situations. We practice, analyze, and determine which mechanisms prove most subjectively effective, ensuring that each individual’s unique needs are met.

Our automatic negative thoughts are emotional reactions rooted in our negative core and intermediate beliefs, as well as the self-defeating symptoms of our condition. But we are not powerless against these ANTs. Understanding them and challenging them with reason and objectivity enables us to regain control over our thoughts and behaviors, fostering a sense of empowerment and capability.

The three most powerful coping mechanisms include grounding, which is focusing on our physical presence in the present moment to redirect anxiety; reframing, where we consciously and spontaneously choose a positive perspective over negative stimuli; and rational coping statements.

Rational Coping Statements

A rational coping statement is a logical, self-affirming response to automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and other irrational or destructive self-assessments that threaten our emotional health. Once again, automatic negative thoughts are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking statements provoked by the thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that manifest when we are triggered.

For example, if we fear being criticized in a social setting, our intermediate thoughts might include, ‘I will be rejected,’ or ‘No one will talk to me.’ When triggered, these fears generate automatic negative thoughts, such as ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am unwelcome.’

Remember, ANTs can be triggered by thoughts, emotions, memories, images, and sensory recall, but they stem from our core beliefs—like abandonment or detachment—that are reinforced by our negative intermediate beliefs.

It is crucial to recognize that our ANTs are not based on facts but on assumptions. An assumption is something we believe is true or likely to happen, but we have no proof (unless we’re mind readers or fortune tellers). Recognizing this can bring relief, as it reminds us that assumptions are generally inaccurate.

The ANTs, ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am unwelcome’ are assumptions. We can effectively fight these assumptions by responding with rational coping statements. These statements, such as ‘I have every right to be here,’ or ‘I am deserving of acceptance and belonging,’ Are not just words. They are powerful tools that affirm our worth and dispel false beliefs, putting us back in control of our thoughts and emotions.

Remember, our anxieties are not real. They feel real but are intangible. Anxiety is an abstract idea; it has no power of its own. We create and nurture it, giving it strength and influence. This understanding puts us in the driver’s seat, reminding us that we are in control; anxiety is just a false projection that we can dismiss. It is a subjective, illogical projection, and we have the power to change it.

Devising Rational Coping Statements

First, we identify the situations that trigger our fears. Where do we feel anxious or scared? What activities are we involved in? What thoughts come up? Is it a networking event, speaking in front of a class, a social outing, a family dinner, or being in a public swimming pool? Everyone is different.

Next, we unpack the fears or anxieties associated with the situational triggers. What exactly is problematic? How do we feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? What worries do we have? What’s the worst that could happen? What do we imagine might occur? Who or what do we avoid because of these feelings? What is being said or inferred?

From there, we unmask our corresponding ANTs. What negative messages do we tell ourselves when triggered? How do we express them? What involuntary emotional images or expressions do we experience? How do we negatively view ourselves during these moments?

Remember, our automatic negative thoughts are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking statements provoked by the thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that manifest when we are triggered. Statements such as ‘No one will talk to me,’ ‘I am unattractive,’ or ‘I will say something stupid.’

After thoroughly examining and analyzing our fear situations, triggers, associated fears, and corresponding ANTs, we generate rational coping statements.  We know our fears and ANTs are irrational reflections of our negative self-appraisal. By examining and analyzing the reasons behind them, we view them in the context of the situation. Are they practical? Are they real or false assumptions? How would a confident, self-assured individual respond to them?

With this information, we devise rational coping statements to counteract or alleviate our ANTs.

Eventually, we will expose ourselves to our fear situations by confronting our associated anxieties and corresponding ANTs in real life. This exposure occurs after a suitable period of graded exposure – usually in a workshop or therapeutic environment – which involves gradually increasing the intensity of the fear situation to establish a comfort zone and familiarity with the prescribed tools and techniques.

Steps to Devising Rational Coping Statements

1. Identify Our Fear Situation
2. Unpack Our Associated Fear(s)
3. Unmask Our Corresponding ANT(s)
4. Analyze Our Associated Fear(s) and Corresponding ANT(s)
5. Generate Rational Coping Statements

Intrusive Thoughts

Not all thoughts are caused by specific situations or unexpected events. Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant thoughts, memories, or images that suddenly come into our minds without any clear reason. They tend to be strange, disturbing, repetitive, and difficult to dismiss.

While they can be linked to stressful situations, we differentiate intrusive thoughts from automatic negative thoughts, which are responses to specific situations, because intrusive thoughts appear out of nowhere, usually without identifiable triggers.

It’s important to remember that intrusive thoughts are common. They often produce disturbing and offensive images, such as violence, sexual explicitness, or socially inappropriate behavior. These are not reflections of our true selves, but rather dark fantasies that most of us have entertained at some point.

Some common examples of intrusive thoughts include thoughts of suddenly swerving your car into a crowd of people. Or tossing a brick through a store window at a rude salesclerk. Maybe we fantasize about shoplifting to see if we can get away with it. Or cheating on our significant other who has been dismissive.

It’s normal to experience intermittent intrusive thoughts. However, some can be especially difficult to manage. These might be repetitive thoughts that keep us awake at night. Or violent images that we can’t seem to shake off.

The unwanted and unexpected nature of intrusive thoughts sets them apart from other thoughts, worries, ruminations, or desires. These disturbing thoughts are often so opposite to our character and wishes that they can cause distress or disgust when we have them.

Other Negative Influences on Our Thinking

People experiencing social anxiety often cling to information that confirms their negative self-view while ignoring evidence that contradicts those beliefs. This behavior leads to cognitive biases—unconscious errors in thinking that distort how we perceive information, ultimately affecting the accuracy of our perceptions and decisions.

Adding to this problem is our inherent negativity bias. Humans are biologically predisposed to notice, react to, and remember negative stimuli more easily than positive ones. This tendency can worsen the symptoms of our condition.

We often expect the worst-case scenarios, anticipate criticism, fear ridicule and rejection, worry about embarrassing ourselves, and imagine undesirable outcomes. This pattern can create self-fulfilling prophecies, supported by behaviors that turn our negative predictions into reality.

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INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.