Tag Archives: Depression

Events and Reviews

September 22, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivational Speakers, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-ImprovementRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

IN GRATITUDE

Gratitude is the recognition and appreciation of positive outcomes in one’s life, acknowledging that these benefits come from sources outside oneself. Those sources include colleagues and readers who have kindly provided reviews and testimonials. It also includes those groups, institutions, and media representatives who have invited me to discuss the book with employees and members.

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Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October15. 2026: 3,200 readers in London:
TBD: The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
TBD: KPBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

Upcoming Seminars by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

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Reviews and Testimonials

“WHAT STOOD out most is the book’s emphasis on lived experience combined with actionable recovery tools. The framing of social anxiety as something that can be actively challenged, rather than simply analyzed, gives the work a clear sense of direction and accessibility for readers, who are looking for real change… The idea of negative self-beliefs as deeply rooted weeds, and recovery as a process of consistent, hands-on cultivation, translates complex emotional work into something visually and emotionally intuitive.” – SCARLETT MACK

A SURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety is one of those books that feels less like a traditional self help manual and more like someone sitting down and saying, “I understand what this feels like, and here are some practical ways forward.”

What stood out to me most was the author’s decision to approach social anxiety from lived experience rather than relying entirely on clinical explanations. Robert F. Mullen draws from his own struggles while presenting ideas in a straightforward and accessible way. The book does not make recovery sound effortless or promise a quick fix. Instead, it emphasizes taking responsibility, challenging destructive thought patterns, building healthier habits, and gradually becoming more comfortable with situations that anxiety encourages us to avoid.

I particularly appreciated the practical nature of the book. The journaling exercises and activities give the reader an opportunity to stop simply reading about recovery and actually work with the ideas. That makes the book feel useful beyond the moment of reading it.

Another strength is the way complex emotional experiences are made easier to understand through relatable concepts and examples. The discussion of self sabotage, negative beliefs, shame, cognitive distortions, neuroplasticity, boundaries, and rebuilding confidence gives the book considerable depth without making it feel like an academic textbook.

What I found especially refreshing is the honesty of the message. Recovery is presented as a process that requires patience and consistent effort. There is encouragement, but there is also realism. That balance makes the advice feel much more trustworthy.

Overall, this is a thoughtful and practical book for anyone who wants to better understand social anxiety and take meaningful steps toward changing the patterns that keep them stuck. It is also valuable for readers who want to understand what living with social anxiety can actually look like from the perspective of someone who has experienced it firsthand.

A compassionate, honest, and practical read that I would recommend to anyone looking for a more grounded approach to overcoming social anxiety.” – EVELYN WOLFF

“ROBERTS book was incredible and stood up to the praise I have heard from others who have benefited from his work. They also said they found it truly engaging in the same way that mine drew them in. That to me was enough to get my attention as it’s always nice to know what exactly people mean by that. I started reading his book just to get a sense of it, and it drew me in right away by his personal sharing of his heart and story with so many wonderful anecdotes of others along with his own.

I couldn’t put it down; hearing about his trials and tribulations and the fact that he even went back to school to get his PhD was impressive and reminded me of the many hours of schooling and certifications I have, finding different approaches to meeting my clients’ needs. He defines the many ways SAD shows up with definitions of each issue, whether it’s intrusive thoughts, anxiety, depression, compulsive disorders, and not only explains them but offers tried and true methods to heal each one, always reminding you it’s your choice to change IF YOU WANT to.

His vulnerability and healthy ways of combating issues by replacing the negative self talk with affirmations, meditation, etc., utilizing the power of neuroplasticity and breaking down the concepts in easily digestible ways to put you in the driver’s seat of your life is admirable as is his raw, open truth of where he was heading was heart-rending.

This really pulled at my heartstrings:

Consider the inner turmoil of the self-saboteur, who undermines their recovery. This pattern is both learned and deeply destructive. It reinforces our doubts and disrupts our progress. I will give you a personal example. I was on the Hollywood fast track. I failed my audition for The Young and the Restless because the competition intimidated me. When my agent secretly set me up with Norman Lear, who was looking for writers. I fled the meeting, thinking my presence was a mistake. I blew my audition for a film with Bette Davis because I was crashing from speed, and I alienated William Friedkin during a drunken lunch at Musso & Frank’s. I even had the honor of being ‘escorted’ off the Paramount lot. And let’s not forget my Dating Game disaster. I could go on and on, but you get the gist. I share these experiences as evidence of the many opportunities I squandered because my social anxiety persuaded me that I was a waste of space and destined for failure. I was a consummate self-saboteur. Self-saboteurs engage in behaviors that invite failure and hinder success. Nietzsche observed, “Man is his own worst enemy because he has no other choice[16].” But we do have choices. We can choose how we respond to challenges. We can choose to be healthy and happy. The ability to choose wisely is the unshakeable gift that shapes our lives and guides our recovery.

If you want a book to change your life and are up for the work, I would highly recommend this book. I know personally others have benefited from his work, gotten their life back, and no longer suffer from SAD! There is no better way to learn than from someone who’s been in the trenches, done the work, and knows what it takes to get there. He draws from vast, cutting-edge knowledge, and if you are truly ready to roll up your sleeves and want a different outcome in your life, this book is for you!” – CINDY GEORGAKAS, author of Re-Create & Celebrate and Celebrating Poetry.

“A LOT OF BOOKS on anxiety and depression stay clinical or overly theoretical, but this guide carries something far more personal and grounded. [The] practical lived-experience framework is remarkable. Highly recommended for anyone not living up to their full potential.” – MATTY SAVEN

“I WAS EXPECIALLY DRAWN to the way you present recovery as something active and personal, rather than simply explaining the problem, and to the image of an overgrown garden where deeply rooted negative beliefs have to be gradually removed and replaced with something healthier.

What I find meaningful is the book’s focus on helping readers interrupt negative thought patterns, rebuild trust in themselves, and take practical steps toward reconnecting with life. There is something encouraging about a guide that does not pretend recovery is effortless, but gives people tools they can actually work with. I believe that combination of lived experience and professional understanding gives your book the potential to reach many more readers who may be looking for a straightforward and compassionate way forward.” – ANNE TYLER, Pulitzer Prize Winner for Breathing Less.

“BY TRANSLATING negative self-beliefs into something that can be observed, identified, and actively addressed, the book creates a practical bridge between understanding and action … The idea that recovery requires active engagement with tools, habits, and behavioral change reflects a grounded understanding of how social anxiety persists and how it can be meaningfully challenged over time.” – KAELANI REESE WHITMORE

“MOST SOCIAL anxiety books are written by clinicians who studied the condition. Yours was written by someone who lived inside it long enough to know exactly how it lies to you. Your “progression from patient to pioneer gives the book an authority that no amount of research alone could produce.” – ELIZABETH HELP

“THIS IS ONE of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P.J. GUDKA, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

“A AURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety* is a thoughtful and practical guide that approaches social anxiety from a very human perspective. What stood out to me most was Robert F. Mullen’s ability to combine his own lived experience with practical tools that readers can actually understand and apply. Rather than simply explaining social anxiety, he helps readers recognize patterns such as automatic negative thoughts and cognitive distortions and gives them concrete ways to respond differently.

I particularly appreciated the emphasis on deliberate, repetitive neural input and the idea that recovery is built through consistent, intentional practice rather than expecting one positive experience to change everything. The Character Resume and Fear Situation Plan also make the book feel genuinely useful, giving readers something practical to work with rather than leaving them with general encouragement. Mullen’s honesty about his own struggles and setbacks gives the book an authenticity that makes the advice feel much more personal. Overall, I found this to be an accessible and encouraging resource for anyone trying to better understand social anxiety and take practical steps toward recovery.” – SHARON AUERBACK

“A SURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety offers a practical and experience-informed look at social anxiety and the patterns that can keep people stuck. The book explores cognitive distortions, negative self-beliefs, avoidance, shame, confidence, and the possibility of changing deeply established habits. What makes the approach compelling is its focus on applying these ideas rather than simply understanding them. Mullen brings a personal perspective to a subject that is often difficult to discuss openly, while encouraging readers to challenge limiting patterns and take meaningful steps toward greater confidence and engagement with life. A worthwhile resource for readers seeking a practical perspective on recovery.” – ASHLEY MARIE

“DR. MULLEN’S no-nonsense approach to social anxiety recovery combines personal resilience with actionable neuroplasticity techniques, offering a practical, accountability-based framework that any CEO or solopreneur struggling with social situations can implement. This book moves beyond therapy-speak to deliver concrete tools: from character strength inventories to fear-situation plans, backed by research and genuine expertise earned through decades of helping others reclaim their confidence. It is 437 pages, but it is solid.” – SIERRA MELCHER, author of TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation.

“I LOVE how this book focused on both useful exercises for the reader as well as the author’s own personal experiences. As someone with both social anxiety and GAD, I found this book to be super helpful and insightful. However, the exercises are very generic, and you don’t even need to have social anxiety to do them. Again, I enjoyed that the author was someone who also has anxiety, so he was very knowledgeable and empathic toward the readers of this book. Overall, I do recommend this book to others who do struggle with social anxiety (but if you have GAD, these exercises would also benefit you as well.” – BELLA

“A LOT of books in this space stay clinical or overly theoretical, but your “What makes this book genuinely valuable is that you are writing from the far side of the exact thing you are teaching people to overcome … That combination, lived experience paired with a genuine clinical framework in proactive neuroplasticity and DRNI, is rare in this category, where most authors write from either pure personal story or pure academic theory, but not both at once.” – CHRISTIANA JAMES

“THE MANUSCRIPT carries something far more personal and grounded. The way you connect childhood trauma, cognitive distortions, shame, self-sabotage, neuroplasticity, and recovery into a practical, lived experience.” – LISA BRANDON

“THE FACT that this isn’t written from a purely academic perspective, but from someone who personally experienced severe social anxiety and fought through it, combined with your practical “overgrown garden” approach to uprooting negative self-beliefs and building healthier patterns, is exactly the kind of guidance that deserves a real audience.” – AURORA WILLOW

“WHAT I FOUND that I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience… [It] gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – JAMES BLACKSTONE

“I AM SIMPLY in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – JANICE PARKER, PHD

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows us to email a PDF copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Contact me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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Rechanneling Social Anxiety Workshops 2027 Online Dr. Robert F. Mullen

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) reduce symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives — harnessing our natural ability for extraordinary living. Our core approach focuses on personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, using neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and techniques to rebuild self-esteem. All donations go toward scholarships for groups and workshops.

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Devising Rational Coping Statements

September 15, 2026Coping Mechanisms, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorder, Speaking EngagementsRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

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Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD: 3,200 readers in London
TBD: The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco

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Devising Rational Coping Statements

Coping mechanisms are tools that enable us to manage our emotions, alleviate anxiety, and navigate stress. They encompass a wide range of strategies, from learned skills like distractions and visualization to natural responses such as hiking or listening to music.

Cognitive coping mechanisms enable us to craft rational responses to irrational thoughts, while behavioral coping mechanisms equip us with the means to adjust our actions.

Among the many coping mechanisms, three stand out for their effectiveness in situations where we anticipate fear—that is, those scheduled in advance that we project will trigger stress and anxiety. These can be single events, such as a job interview or a social gathering, or recurring ones, like a daily or weekly class or work environment.

In contrast, unexpected situations catch us off guard, bringing stress-provoking incidents like a plumbing failure, an unexpected guest, or missing house keys.

Three Effective Coping Mechanisms

Three effective coping mechanisms are grounding, which involves redirecting our anxiety into present-moment awareness; cognitive reframing, where we consciously choose to see a circumstance in a more positive light; and rational coping statements, which are logical, self-affirming statements aimed at counteracting automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that arise in fear situations.

Once we have learned and practiced the nuances of cognitive reframing and grounding, we can apply them almost spontaneously, during any fear situation. On the other hand, rational coping statements are most effective when explicitly prepared for an anticipated fear situation.

This writing outlines the process of devising rational coping statements in anticipation of fear-inducing situations. Cognitive reframing and grounding will be covered in the following weeks.

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), also called negative automatic thoughts (NATs), are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking thoughts that pop into our heads when we are in a fear-inducing situation.

ANTs are irrational assumptions rooted in our negative core and intermediate beliefs, as well as the self-defeating symptoms of our condition. For example, automatic negative thinking during a fear situation might include phrases such as, ‘I will be rejected,’ ‘No one will talk to me,’ ‘I don’t belong here,’ and ‘I am not undesirable.’

By challenging these ANTs with reason and positive self-validation, we can regain control and prevent them from dictating our actions. This is the power of rational coping statements.

Rational Coping Statements

Rational coping statements are logical, self-affirming responses to our situational fears, anxieties, and automatic negative thoughts. For instance, if we are afraid of rejection, a rational coping statement might be, ‘I belong here as much as anyone,’ ‘I am valuable and significant,’ or ‘I am approachable and likeable.’

These statements are designed to directly counteract the negative thoughts and feelings provoked by our negative self-appraisal. Essentially, they are provisional, positive personal affirmations designed for anticipated fear situations.

Rational coping statements are accurate, self-affirming responses to our unreasonable, self-defeating thoughts. Remember, our fears and anxieties are not real. They may feel real, but that is a cognitive distortion called emotional reasoning, which involves forming judgments and decisions based solely on our emotions, disregarding evidence to the contrary.

Anxiety is an abstraction; it has no power on its own. We create and feed it, making it real and giving it strength and power.

The first step in managing our ANTs is to recognize that our fears are not based on facts, but assumptions rooted in our past experiences, imagination, and reactions to perceived threats. A horror flick may stimulate our terrors, but they are alleviated once we leave the movie house. The power of our trepidations lies in our acceptance of them as reality rather than perception.

It’s not the fears that adversely impact our emotional well-being; it’s the things we do to avoid them. Our goal in recovery is to eliminate the anxiety responsible for the expression of the ANT by examining and analyzing its causes. Since the fear is irrational, logic dictates that the corresponding ANT is also. Thoughts such as ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am not welcome’ are subjective projections.

The following strategy is designed to help us develop rational coping statements to counteract our ANTs.

Steps to Devising Rational Coping Statements

Identify Our Fear Situation
Identify Our Associated Fear(s)
Unmask Our Corresponding ANT(s)
Examine and Analyze the Cause(s) of Our Associated Fear(s) and Corresponding ANT(s)
Generate Rational Coping Statements

Fear Situation

First, we identify the anticipated fear situations that provoke our fears. Where do we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we engaged in, and what thoughts arise? Is it a networking event, speaking in front of the class, a social engagement, a family dinner, or a trip to the public swimming pool? They’re different for everyone. Most of us have multiple fear situations.

Associated Fears

Next, we unpack the actual fears associated with the fear situation. What is problematic for me during this fear situation? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What activities are we engaging in? What is being said? What’s the worst outcome we project happening? What might occur?

Corresponding ANTs.

Then, we unmask our corresponding ANTs. What do we tell ourselves when triggered? How do we perceive ourselves in these moments? What are our self-defeating responses to these triggers?

Examine and Analyze Our Associated Fears and Corresponding ANTS

We know our fears and ANTs are irrational and self-destructive reflections of our negative self-appraisal. By examining and analyzing the reasons behind them, we view them in the context of the situation. Are they practical? Are they real or false assumptions? How would a confident, self-assured individual respond to them?

Devise Rational Coping Statements

Finally, we devise our rational coping statements. This is a relatively simple process. We respond to our irrational, automatic negative thoughts by devising reasonable, logical, self-supporting, and empowering statements.

Eventually, we will confront our fear situation in real life. This happens once we have resolved and practiced steps 1-5, and after a suitable period of graded exposure. i.e., gradually reducing the intensity of our fears and anxieties in a workshop environment and through external exercises.

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows us to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Contact me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will gladly send you a copy.

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Register for our January 2027 Workshops

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

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BOOK REVIEW

Breathing Lessons

By Anne Tyler

A Pulitzer Prize-winning novel does not suffer from a lack of reviews. When Anne Tyler initiated a conversation about my book, I was dismayed to learn how little I knew of her work. I was majoring in philosophy and religion in 1989, when she won the Pulitzer, and I didn’t have the time or resources to read fiction. However, I did see The Accidental Tourist, the acclaimed film of one of her earlier works of fiction.

Anne Tyler has written 20 books, including Breathing Lessons, which is so astoundingly perceptive, comic, and real that I had to bring it to the attention of any reader asleep in the 80s.

A middle-aged Baltimore couple attends the funeral of the wife’s friend. Her husband is less than responsive, but they have been a committed couple for decades, creating a very American dysfunctional family.

Breathing Lessons explores marital relationships, old friendships, and the common discord that accompanies long-term intimate alliances.

The novel follows Maggie and Ira Moran, a middle-aged Baltimore couple, as they drive 90 miles to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie’s best and oldest friend, Serena.

The banter and miscommunication among Tyler’s characters are both reassuring and uncomfortable. Because of their early separation, I don’t remember my parents’ bickering, but it is front and center and often quite humorous during the Morans’ car ride.

So, suspend your preconceptions about what constitutes a viable marriage, and dig deep to understand the love that underlies the intentionally insipid and consciously brilliant dialogue.

The book is engaging, astute, and often downright hilarious as it describes ordinary people’s lives on an ordinary day in ordinary situations. The dialogue initially seems mundane and picayune until you put yourself in the back seat of their car, filled with faded memories, wishful thinking, and real-life absurdity. Breathing Lessons is filled with brilliant character studies of average, middle-aged folks who have settled into their lives, for better or worse.

Breathing Lessons is a phenomenal character-driven book that brings readers into a day in the life of some very common people who turn out to be uncommon under the author’s impeccable direction and narrative. A must-read for anyone who demands honest dialogue, amusing anecdotes, and real people. The characters may seem like failures, but their relationships and experiences amount to much more.

Breathing Lessons is a brilliant, enjoyable ride.

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

The Art Of Imperfect Creation By Sierra Melcher — TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation

Celebrating Poetry By Cindy Georgakas — Celebrating Poetry

How To Be Yourself By Ellen Hendriksen — How to Be Yourself

Handwiring Happiness By Rick Hanson — Hardwiring Happiness

All The Words I Kept Inside By P. J. Gudka — All the Words I Kept Inside

The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Choice

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy By Judith D. Beck — Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

The Life and Creative Works of Paulo Coelho

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Rechanneling.org by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts

September 9, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Automatic Negative Thoughts, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts — Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thouights

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

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Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts

Understanding how our belief system develops is essential to examining the negative path of social anxiety. This process begins with childhood susceptibility, which lays the foundation for our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

This susceptibility stems mainly from childhood disturbance, usually initiated by parental mishandling. However, genetics and the environment can also play a major role.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interconnect through three main developmental patterns: core beliefs, intermediate beliefs, and automatic thoughts.

Core Beliefs

Core beliefs are deeply held attitudes formed in early childhood that shape how we perceive ourselves, the world, and others. They form the foundation of our belief system. When these rigid beliefs go unchallenged, we often accept them as absolute truths, even when evidence contradicts them.

Childhood Trauma

During early development, a child may encounter disturbances or trauma that disrupt physical, cognitive, emotional, or social growth. These events can be one-time or recurring, accidental or intentional, and may be real or imagined.

Regardless of their type, these experiences increase our vulnerability to social anxiety and other emotional difficulties.

Formation of Negative Core Beliefs

Traumatic childhood experiences can reshape core beliefs into negative ones, such as hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness, which Dr. Beck identifies as three primary negative beliefs.

This range of negative core beliefs can include feelings of abandonment, neglect, and being expendable, as well as inadequacy and other negative self-beliefs.

Importantly, it’s not the disturbance itself but the intensity of our reaction that determines the lasting impact on our belief system.

Unsatisfied Needs and Their Consequences

Healthy development depends on meeting essential needs such as adequate sleep, safety, parental protection, and a supportive environment. Trauma-driven negative core beliefs can undermine these fundamentals.

For instance, a child who experiences neglect or abuse may struggle to feel safe or loved, leading to low self-esteem.

We’ve identified this within Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which shows how circumstances and events can hinder the fulfillment of basic needs and shape negative intermediate beliefs.

Intermediate Beliefs

Intermediate beliefs form during childhood and continue to develop as we grow. They are shaped by parents, caregivers, teachers, the environment, and personal experiences.

Negative core beliefs lead to negative intermediate beliefs, which, in turn, influence our perceptions, thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.

Intermediate beliefs connect core beliefs to automatic thoughts. Unlike core beliefs, they are adaptable and can change through learning, experience, and psychological growth. Intermediate beliefs shape our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.

Attitudes shape our feelings, behaviors, and beliefs, influencing how we evaluate people, issues, and relationships. Rules are the principles or guidelines we follow to support our attitudes, while assumptions are the decisions we make based on those rules.

Onset of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) usually begins in early adolescence, although it can develop later as well.

For example, as a fearless ten-year-old searching for my father in the bars and tenements of Skid Row, I wasn’t yet affected by social anxiety. It was only the summer before high school, at age thirteen, that my social anxiety began to emerge, aligning with common statistical patterns.

Negative Self-Appraisal

We should now be familiar with how social anxiety imposes self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors that lead to our negative self-appraisal.

Situation

A situation is a set of circumstances, including facts, conditions, and events that affect us at specific times and places. A fear-related situation is one in which, through projection or experience, we anticipate potential triggers that could elicit fears related to the situation and the corresponding ANTs.

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts | Trajectory of Our ANTs

Figure: Trajectory of Our ANTs

Triggers

A trigger is any stimulus that elicits a specific emotional or behavioral response. Triggers can take many forms, but they often appear as sensory reminders—such as seeing, hearing, smelling, or tasting something that brings up a traumatic memory.

Triggers activate emotions, sensations, or feelings that manifest as automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)

There are three key situations in which we experience automatic negative thoughts. They occur during:

Intrusive Thoughts: Disturbing, repetitive thoughts and images that arise suddenly and without any apparent cause.
Anticipated Fear-Related Situations: Planned events we expect may provoke fear and anxiety.
Unexpected Fear-Related Situations: Events that catch us off guard and can provoke fear and anxiety.

Automatic negative thoughts are involuntary, immediate reactions to certain situations. These thoughts are usually irrational and self-defeating, stemming from negative core beliefs, reinforced by intermediate negative beliefs, and triggered by specific circumstances.

For example, someone consistently chosen last for school team sports may develop intermediate beliefs that they are unpopular and unlikable. These beliefs stem from core beliefs of incompetence and undesirability—self-evaluations that often operate below conscious awareness. The resulting automatic negative thoughts may include “I am lousy at sports” or “No one likes me.”

Jonathan

Let’s consider the hypothetical example of “Jonathan.” During his formative years, Jonathan developed core and intermediate beliefs about his own insignificance and undesirability, beliefs that stemmed from his parents’ lack of emotional support.

In his final year before starting high school, Jonathan began experiencing symptoms of social anxiety.

As Jonathan entered high school, these beliefs began to manifest in his social interactions. He struggled to make friends, which further reinforced his feelings of insignificance and undesirability. The lack of peer support confirmed to Jonathan that his negative self-beliefs were valid.

Jonathan’s struggles worsened when he couldn’t find a date for the junior prom. The experience subconsciously reminded him of lonely times from his childhood. As a result, going to the prom alone triggered automatic negative thoughts about his desirability and self-worth, reinforcing his cycle of emotional distress and self-doubt.

Modifying Thought Patterns

Thankfully, our negative thought patterns are modifiable. With clinically approved, evidence-based techniques such as CBT, positive psychology, neural restructuring, and other personalized strategies, we learn to replace automatic negative thoughts with self-affirming, productive alternatives.

This conscious effort to cultivate healthier thinking leads to significant improvements in our emotional well-being.

Carpe Diem

Although our ANTs may seem overwhelming, it is crucial to remember that we are not powerless against them. By recognizing and understanding our thoughts and deliberately challenging them with reason and objectivity, we can regain control of our mental processes and actions.

This approach helps us manage our thoughts more effectively and builds a stronger sense of capability in daily life.

Intrusive Thoughts

Not all thoughts stem from specific situations or unexpected events. Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant images, memories, or ideas that suddenly come to mind without a clear cause. These thoughts are usually strange, disturbing, repetitive, and hard to dismiss.

While they can sometimes be linked to stressful situations, they differ from automatic negative thoughts, which are reactions to events. Instead, intrusive thoughts often seem to appear out of nowhere, with no identifiable triggers.

The Nature of Intrusive Thoughts

It’s important to recognize that intrusive thoughts are common. They often involve disturbing or inappropriate images, such as violence, explicit sexual content, or socially unacceptable actions.

These thoughts do not reflect our true character; rather, they are dark fantasies that most people experience at some point in their lives.

Examples of intrusive thoughts include suddenly imagining swerving our car into a crowd, fantasizing about throwing someone out of an airplane at high altitude, considering shoplifting just to see if we can get away with it, or entertaining the idea of cheating on a dismissive partner.

These are common intrusive thoughts and experiencing them is normal.

Managing Intrusive Thoughts

Some intrusive thoughts can be difficult to manage. These may include repetitive thoughts that keep us awake at night or violent images that are hard to forget. What distinguishes intrusive thoughts from other kinds of thoughts, worries, ruminations, or desires is their unwanted and unexpected nature.

Often, these thoughts run contrary to our values and wishes and cause distress or disgust.

Intrusive thoughts can arise unexpectedly, such as when we’re showering or trying to sleep. In these cases, it helps to write down the thought or experience so we can explore and understand it later.

An effective way to handle intrusive thoughts is to recognize that they are normal and universal, then apply practiced coping techniques to redirect focus away from the activities they interfere with.

Techniques such as grounding, progressive muscle relaxation, and controlled breathing can help reduce intrusive thoughts by stimulating the vagus nerve.

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Upcoming Events

October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD: 3,200 readers in London
December 12, 2026: Lakeshore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, IL

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Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 2nd

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

CELEBRATING POETRY.
A companion guide to Re-Create and Celebrate

By Cindy Georgakas

During my graduate years, I set poetry aside for dry, distant philosophers like Heidegger and Derrida, who eschew the elegiac and rhapsodic. However, my current vocation, working closely with people experiencing anxiety and depression, focuses on relearning how to confront and embrace the fears of emotionality.

Cindy Georgakas reinforces this universal quest for stability through her healing journeys, paired with the realism of embracing life as it happens. In many ways, Celebrating Poetry is a lyrical master class in emotional regulation – the process by which we evaluate and modify our emotional responses to achieve psychological balance.

“Eyes on the prize,
there will be detours,
I’m not going to lie.
Keep your focus,
just for today,
do what you say you will,
Strengthen that muscle,
for there is an end in sight.”

So much of Georgakas’ work, a companion guide to her earlier book, Re-Create and Celebrate, resonates with my efforts to restore emotional well-being and quality of life to the millions who experience anxiety and depression. In fluid and welcoming verse, Celebrating Poetry reads like a primer for recovery.

“We say goodbye to yesterday:
the toxic people in our lives.”

One of the most noticeable signs of anxiety is annihilating self-blame and guilt. People with social and performance anxiety often feel unjustifiably ashamed of their condition and of the unorthodox thoughts and behaviors associated with it. Georgakas reminds us:

“Yes, we are all broken:
cut yourself some slack,
get out your Gorilla Glue, be kind to you.”

Her broad and empathic vision includes mantras, affirmations, and neuroplasticity – methods utilized to reduce the fear of criticism, ridicule, and rejection that plague those afflicted with emotional turmoil.

“The mind is so insidious. We thrash our inner world to pieces,
judging, critiquing, berating ourselves to a bloody pulp.”

In my workshops, I tell clients that I lived with social anxiety disorder for the first thirty years of my life, and there is nothing their condition has led them to do or ponder that I haven’t thought about or done myself. In her lovely poem, “There is No Distance Between Hearts That Love,” the author writes:

“I know your stories, I know your desires, I know your
struggles, I know your purpose, I know your families,
I know your work, your trials and tribulations, your
ultimate highs and lows, your dreams and vision for a
better tomorrow.”

Georgakas speaks not only to those with emotional difficulties but to everyone who aspires to honesty and beauty, as most evident in the section titled “Step 4: CELEBRATE.” Through her uplifting reflections on aspiration, acceptance, growth, hope, love, and the seasons of life, she reveals herself as a wise and consummate storyteller in verse.

“Be nice to yourself and others.
Love yourself or no one else will.”

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Other Recommended Books

Re-Create & Celebrate By Cindy Georgakas — Re-Create and Celebrate

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Understanding Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

September 1, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Understanding Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs — Abraham Maslow: Understanding Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

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Interpreting Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

The second objective of our social anxiety recovery goal is to reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and fully reintegrate into society. Self-esteem is more than just recognizing our own worth and importance; it also includes understanding our value to society. This idea involves a complex connection that links us to ourselves, others, and the wider world.

Individuals experiencing social anxiety generally face significantly lower levels of both implicit and explicit self-esteem compared to others. Explicit self-esteem involves conscious awareness and expression of our self-worth and self-acceptance. Implicit self-esteem is our unconscious self-evaluation, which we reveal through our automatic negative thoughts.

Sources of Low Self-Esteem

Our hypersensitivity to criticism, heightened self-awareness, and reduced self-confidence clearly indicate low self-esteem. We avoid forming relationships out of fear of rejection, which leads to alienation and loneliness. We feel misunderstood and struggle to live a conventional life. Our self-fulfilling prophecies create negative expectations in social and performance situations.

Fortunately, our self-esteem is not fixed but dynamic. We can reclaim our character strengths and rebuild our sense of self-worth. To reclaim means to retrieve or recover something that has been lost or overshadowed by something more dominant. To rebuild is to restore or renew something that has been damaged or has deteriorated.

Disruption in our emotional development often leads to underdeveloped self-esteem-related qualities. Fortunately, disruption interrupts productivity; it does not eliminate it. Our objective is to reclaim and rebuild the inherent and developed qualities that our condition has undermined.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Healthy human development depends on fulfilling essential needs, such as adequate sleep, safety, security, parental protection, and a nurturing environment. Negative core beliefs, usually originating from childhood trauma or disturbance, can interfere with the satisfaction of these vital needs. For example, a child who experiences neglect or abuse may have difficulty feeling safe or loved, leading to low self-esteem.

Abraham Maslow, the notable humanist and progenitor of positive psychology, introduced his hierarchy of needs in his 1943 book A Theory of Motivation. Maslow emphasized individual potential and personal growth, encouraging self-actualization, which is the realization and fulfillment of our unique potential. Humanism recognizes the inherent value, integrity, and potential of healthy human beings.

Insufficient Satisfaction of Needs

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs illustrates how our susceptibility to social anxiety can negatively affect our self-esteem because it inhibits satisfying healthy developmental needs.

Maslow initially identified five main stages in his hierarchy: physiological needs, safety and security, belonging and love, esteem, and self-actualization. Although Maslow later updated his model, we focus here on Maslow’s first four core categories, as they form the foundation of our sense of self-worth.

Level 1: Biological and Physiological

Biological and physiological needs are fundamental to survival and healthy development. These include basic developmental needs such as air, food, water, shelter, warmth, sleep, and health. Childhood trauma can undermine the satisfaction or positive experience of needs such as shelter and sleep, which in turn affects our overall health. When these fundamental needs go unmet, they disrupt growth and development, underscoring the importance of meeting them for optimal functioning.

Level 2: Safety and Security

Safety and security during childhood are crucial for establishing a sense of order, protection, and stability. Childhood disturbance experienced during our formative years—such as family turmoil, divorce, abuse, or financial instability—can lead to the development of negative core beliefs, including feelings of abandonment, detachment, neglect, or exploitation, which often result in distrust of family, authority, and relationships.

Level 3: Love and Belongingness

Human connection is essential to mental and emotional well-being. Research indicates that participation in social activities strengthens the immune system, protects the brain from neurodegenerative diseases, and profoundly impacts self-esteem.

As social beings, our need for connection is hardwired into our psyche, and disruptions in social interrelations significantly affect our overall well-being. When we lack sufficient love or connection, especially during childhood, it weakens our sense of belonging and our capacity to build healthy relationships. These disruptions can also hinder learning, focus, motivation, and emotional stability, underscoring the importance of healthy human relationships.

Level 4: Esteem and Self-Esteem

Esteem involves respect and admiration for another person. Self-esteem is the respect and admiration we have for ourselves, stemming from awareness of our character, abilities, compassion, and achievements. Low self-esteem does not mean our character attributes are absent. Instead, they may be suppressed or overwhelmed by our negative self-assessment stemming from our condition. As a result, they may be underdeveloped or latent, reflecting unmet developmental needs and psychological immaturity. and loneliness associated with morbidity and mortality.

With recovery tools, we can reclaim our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements, and rebuild our self-esteem.

The concept of self-esteem is interpreted in many ways. It is self-awareness of our immeasurable worth, capabilities, and potential. In more esoteric terms, it is experiencing joy and fulfillment with and within oneself. It is wholesome self-love, a prerequisite for loving others.

Without healthy self-esteem, poets, behaviorists, and philosophers tell us, loving another person is impossible.

Each level of Maslow’s hierarchy supports and interacts with the others, highlighting the diverse aspects of personal development. However, activity within Maslow’s hierarchy isn’t strictly linear. Instead, it is fluid and highly personalized, molded by our unique experiences.

A child may struggle to achieve self-esteem (level 4) if basic physiological needs, such as hunger, are unmet (level 1). Without responsible parenting (level 3), a child may not feel secure (level 2), which can lead to familial alienation (level 3) and self-esteem issues (level 4).

Illustrates fundamental developmental needs versus how
unsatisfied needs (strikethroughs) can significantly disrupt our self-esteem.

Reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem is a complex process. Our social anxiety has been shaped by childhood disturbance and developed by our environment. Sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, and educational background also factor in the development of our self-esteem. Family members, colleagues, teachers, and other influential figures profoundly shape our sense of self-worth.

Reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem significantly reduces our negative self-judgment. A natural result is self-compassion, which helps us step back from self-sabotage and encourages us to treat ourselves kindly, especially during tough times. Caring for ourselves inspires us to care for others, strengthening our connection with the wider community.

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Upcoming Events

______________________________________________________

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 2nd

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

THE CHOICE: Escaping the Past and Embracing the Possible

By Edith Eva Eger, Ph.D.

I review The Choice with joyful prejudice. I worked as her PR person over a decade ago, generating publicity and speaking engagements. I know Edie’s story personally, having heard her stories when I stayed at her home in La Jolla and when she stayed with me in San Francisco for her speaking engagement at Stanford.

The book vividly captures her stories, different in every way from how I would have written it. And The Choice is wonderfully written, as are Edie’s other books, The Gift and The Ballerina of Auschwitz.

Edie was a teenager during World War II. She was a ballet student and part of the Hungarian Olympic gymnastics team. In March 1944, after the German occupation of Hungary, Edie, her parents, and her sister Magda were forced to live in the Kassa ghetto. In April, they spent a month in a brick factory with 12,000 other Jews. At the age of sixteen, she and her parents were sent to Auschwitz.

Hours after her parents were killed, Nazi officer Dr. Josef Mengele, the Angel of Death, forced Edie to dance for his amusement and her survival. As a “thank you,” she received a loaf of bread that she shared with other girls.

Eger stayed in various camps, including Mauthausen. When the Nazis evacuated concentration camps as the Americans and the Red Army approached, she was sent on a death march with her sister Magda to the Gunskirchen concentration camp, a distance of roughly 34 miles. Conditions there were so terrible that Edie had to eat grass to survive, while other prisoners resorted to cannibalism.

When American troops liberated the camp in May 1945, Edie was left for dead. After noticing her hand move, an American soldier pulled her from a pile of corpses. He quickly sought medical help and saved her life. She weighed 71 pounds and suffered from a broken back, typhoid fever, pneumonia, and pleurisy. After being treated in American-run hospitals, Edie met her husband, a former resistance fighter, and together with their daughter, they emigrated to America.

Eger befriended Victor Frankl, entered therapy, and earned a PhD in clinical psychology. She spent decades battling flashbacks and survivor’s guilt, choosing to remain silent and hide from her past. Thirty-five years after the war ended, she returned to Auschwitz and was finally able to heal completely and forgive the one person she had been unable to forgive—herself.

The Choice is a life-changing book that offers hope and comfort to generations of readers. It became a New York Times and Sunday Times bestseller. In her second book, The Gift (2020), she encouraged readers to change the thoughts that, according to her, “imprison us and the destructive behaviors that would hinder us. What happens to us in life is not the most important thing in the end. … Rather, the most important thing is what we do with our lives.”

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Other Recommended Books

Optimal Happiness by Roman Russo — Optimal Happiness

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The Science of Neuroplasticity: A Primer

August 25, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

The Science of Neuroplasticity: A Primer

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

_________________________________________________________

The Science of Neuroplasticity: A Primer

Neuroplasticity describes our brain’s incredible ability to adapt and reorganize itself in response to information and experience. Neuroplasticity isn’t a theoretical concept; it is a well-established neuroscientific principle of the brain’s continual adaptation.

Proactive, or active (self-directed) neuroplasticity highlights our capacity to accelerate and consolidate learning by consciously molding our brains to realign their neural pathways and rewire circuitry.

Through deliberate manipulation, we can replace unproductive mindsets with new skills and abilities, actively shaping our cognitive landscape and improving our emotional well-being. These changes can cause significant shifts in behavior and perspective.

Neural Registration and Cellular Chain Reactions

Neural information registers when the brain detects and records a stimulus. While most external stimuli don’t register and remain insignificant, those that do can be positive, negative, or neutral. Registered information activates receptor neurons, which, in turn, activate presynaptic neurons. This process relays information to postsynaptic neurons, triggering a cellular chain reaction involving billions of interconnected neurons.

Figure 1: Trajectory of Neural Information Input

Each time the brain receives registered information, a receptor neuron fires, activating participating neurons that reshape and reinforce the pathways through which neurons communicate. Frequent firing activates more neurons, creating numerous links between receptor (sensory) and relay neurons and attracting additional neurons to the network. Repetition strengthens these connections, enhancing learning by consolidating neural circuits.

Benefits of Self-Directed Neuroplasticity

While much literature focuses on the irrational thoughts, behaviors, and social challenges faced by individuals with social anxiety, less emphasis is placed on the social and cognitive benefits that neuroplasticity offers. The brain’s continual adaptation to new experiences and information yields substantial advantages over time.

Long-Term Potentiation

Deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of positive information activates long-term potentiation, increasing nerve impulses along connecting pathways and generating more energy.

Long-term potentiation refers to the persistent increase in synaptic strength that occurs following high-frequency stimulation of the tiny junction between two nerve cells, across which impulses pass by diffusion of a neurotransmitter.

BDNF

Neuroplasticity also triggers the production of the BDNF gene (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), which directs the creation of proteins essential for regulating synaptic plasticity. Synapses are structures that allow neurons to relay electrical or chemical signals, enabling the nervous system to adapt to new learning and improve cognitive functioning.

Neural Reciprocation – Multiplying Energy

Repeated firing of our neural circuits involves millions of neurons, amplifying synaptic activity on a vast scale. Positive energy multiplies and is abundantly reciprocated, demonstrating neuroplasticity’s transformative power.

Through consistent positive input—such as affirmations, constructive self-talk, and uplifting activities—we can counteract years of negative self-appraisal.

Chemical Hormones

Additionally, neuroplasticity releases chemical hormones linked to learning and motivation while reducing the influx of fear- and anxiety-provoking hormones, including cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine.

Our brain automatically releases hormones to reward neural activity. It releases GABA for relaxation, dopamine for euphoria, and serotonin for a healthy mood. Acetylcholine supports positivity, glutamate boosts memory, and noradrenaline enhances concentration.

Our brain does not “think” in the conventional sense; instead, it enables thinking. It also does not distinguish between productive and toxic information. It responds to perceived significance or repetition rather than moral value. Consequently, it releases the same hormones whether our input is beneficial or nonconstructive, underscoring the scientific validity of the benefits of positive reinforcement.

Benefits of Neuroplasticity, The Science of Neuroplasticity: A Primer

Figure 2: Benefits of Neuroplasticity

Physiological Challenges

Deliberately promoting positive change is inherently challenging. Whether it means removing ourselves from hostile environments or breaking habits that hinder optimal functioning, we naturally resist anything that threatens our status quo. Our brain’s cognitive inertia senses and repels such changes, with the basal ganglia resisting any modification in established behavior patterns.

Cognitive inertia is our tendency to stick to our belief system even when faced with conflicting information. The basal ganglia are a group of brain structures involved in learning and emotion regulation. They substantiate our resistance to accepting new information.

Our Brain’s Neurons

Neurons work through interconnected circuits that strengthen or weaken their connections based on electrical activity. In this sense, neural circuits can be compared to muscles—the more we use them through repetition, the stronger they become.

When multiple neurons fire together, activity heightens along the axon pathway. Synaptic connections strengthen when two or more neurons are activated simultaneously. Repeated, consistent stimulation of postsynaptic (relay) cells increases learning efficiency. Neuroplasticity stimulates these cells through the information we input into our neural network.

By deliberately introducing positive information, we prompt our neural networks not only to restructure but also to strengthen and realign their neural circuits. The deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of positive information lets us take responsibility for our emotional health by actively managing what we input.

Neuroplasticity is a scientific force that we can control. By deliberately stimulating our neurological pathways, we compel our neural network to rebuild itself in ways that offset decades of negative input. Our overarching objective is to achieve a state in which constructive learning is ongoing, and positive thoughts and actions become the dominant forces in our lives.

The Vital Role of Repetition

Repeated exposure to registered information causes our neural circuits to fire repeatedly. The strength of these circuits depends on this electrical activity. Repeated firing reinforces pathways that support both learning and unlearning.

Human neuroplasticity comes in three distinct forms.

Reactive Neuroplasticity

Reactive neuroplasticity occurs when our brain automatically detects or registers external stimuli, such as a car alarm, a sudden weather change, or the smell of baked goods. External stimuli that we don’t notice or respond to are neurally insignificant and either trigger a neutral response or no reaction at all.

Active Neuroplasticity

Active neuroplasticity is fostered by our deliberate activities such as journaling, practicing yoga, and engaging in other meaningful pursuits. It thrives not only through positive and creative endeavors but also through the contributions we make to others and society.

Engaging in selfless activities such as teaching, supporting, and mentoring others enhances the positive rebuilding of our neural networks. Random acts of kindness, caring for the less fortunate, and volunteering highlight the essential role of healthy social connections in personal growth and in positive neural activity.

Self-care generates neuroplasticity. A key part of active neuroplasticity is prioritizing physical and emotional well-being and enhancing cognitive function, which provides essential neurological stimulation and supports positive behavioral change. Caring for ourselves and others isn’t a luxury. It is essential for healthy emotional development.

Proactive Neuroplasticity

Proactive neuroplasticity involves the deliberate and repetitive neural input (DRNI) of positive information to counteract toxic information we have encountered over the years. By consistently introducing healthy, productive thoughts, behaviors, and experiences, we strengthen our neural pathways and transform harmful habits into healthy, constructive ones.

Neuroplasticity promotes growth in several key brain regions, including the insula, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. These regions support memory formation, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress management. Additionally, neuroplasticity enhances overall cognitive flexibility and resilience.

Practicing self-directed neuroplasticity empowers us to take responsibility for our emotional well-being and quality of life.

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Upcoming Seminars

______________________________________________________

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 2nd

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

HARDWIRING HAPPINESS: The New Brain Science
of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence

by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

Noted psychologist Rick Hanson makes the idea of reaching happiness more tangible and accessible through small but deliberate, repetitive positive neural input. He describes neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to change the way we end up viewing the world, ourselves, and others.

The author explains the science behind how neurons work and how we can build and change our neural pathways, moving from negativity to emotional well-being and quality of life. He clearly explains how we can change our brain’s structure to shape our behavior, using his own experiences, examples, and stories from others.

Hanson’s book is broken into two major parts; the first focuses on the scientific background of our brain’s neural network and how each component contributes to our repetitive neural input, allowing the positive to override the negative. Neuroscience is not the book’s overriding focus, however. Hardwiring Happiness provides concrete examples and practices of how self-directed positive input – memories, activities, thoughts, and feelings – compensates for our human negativity bias, genetically hard-wired into our neural network. Negativity is our human nature to focus on negative situations,

Hardwiring Happiness illustrates how self-regulation of the neurochemical and neural networks that supply mood and learning hormones helps meet our need for satisfaction, and how it leads to our inherent need for human connection.

Most people go through life trying to be happy just by thinking positively. Instead, Hanson shows that we should notice and embrace our positive experiences, no matter how small. These include a child’s laughter, the sun’s warmth on our skin, and joyful memories that lift our spirits. We need to breathe, relax, and let the positivity take us over.

Nothing is new here; we use comparable understandings and techniques in our recovery workshops for social anxiety and depression. But the book is extremely well-written, and beyond the neuroscience, it’s an easy read for anyone who wants to find happiness as a regulated state of mind.

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Other Recommended Books

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Auschwitz Survivor, Psychologist, and Best-Selling Author

August 11, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyDepression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Dr. Edith Eva Eger

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Auschwitz Survivor, Psychologist, and Best-Selling Author — Edith Eva Eger

The Gift By Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Gift

One of my former clients died earlier this year at the age of 98.

Edith Eva Eger, a native of Hungary, was a teenager during World War II. She was a ballet student and part of the Hungarian Olympic gymnastics team.

In March 1944, after the German occupation of Hungary, Edie, her parents, and her sister Magda were forced to live in the Kassa ghetto. In April, they spent a month in a brick factory with 12,000 other Jews. At the age of sixteen, she and her parents were sent to Auschwitz.

After being treated in American-run hospitals, Edie met her husband, a former resistance fighter, and together with their daughter, they emigrated to America.

Eger befriended Victor Frankl, entered therapy, and earned a PhD in clinical psychology from the University of Texas at El Paso in 1978. She opened a therapy clinic in La Jolla, California, where she lived and where I spent a week working with her on a speaking and publicity campaign. She was later appointed to the faculty at the University of California, San Diego.

When she gave a lecture at Stanford University, she and her two standard white poodles stayed with me in San Francisco. I vividly remember babysitting her dogs, their nails painted bright red, on the campus outside as she gave her lecture. The looks I got from passing students was a lesson in humility.

Edie spent decades battling flashbacks and survivor’s guilt, choosing to remain silent and hide from her past. Thirty-five years after the war ended, she returned to Auschwitz and was finally able to heal completely and forgive the one person she had been unable to forgive—herself.

In her work as a psychologist, Eger helped her clients to free themselves from their own thoughts and to ultimately choose freedom. She taught them never to wait for someone else to make them happy but to look within and find happiness inside themselves, as this will then change how they see the world around them. Her strong faith in the camps led her to pray for the guards who held her there, understanding that they had been brainwashed.

Edie shared her inspiring personal journey alongside heartfelt stories of those she has helped heal in her first book, The Choice. She explored how we can get trapped in our own minds and showed us how to find the key to freedom.

“I’ll be forever changed by Dr. Eger’s story…The Choice is a reminder of what courage looks like in the worst of times and that we all have the ability to pay attention to what we’ve lost, or to pay attention to what we still have.”—Oprah

“Dr. Eger’s life reveals our capacity to transcend even the greatest of horrors and to use that suffering for the benefit of others. She has found true freedom and forgiveness and shows us how we can as well.” —Desmond Tutu, Nobel Peace Prize Laureate

_____________________________________________________

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd.

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

_________________________________________________________

Upcoming Seminars

October 14, 2026. 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 29, 2026. 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
December 12, 2026. Lakeshore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, IL

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BOOK REVIEW

TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation
by Sierra Melcher

According to the author, this book is written expressly for women, so, as a reviewer, I must support her ambitions. However, I would be amiss not to mention that, as an expert in anxiety and depression, I find that many of its tools and strategies are effective and valuable for emotional well-being, as well. Additionally, I believe it should be read by any prospective author.

The award-winning author of 12 books, TYPO: The Art of Imperfect Creation, is Sierra Melcher’s first in a series on writing called Story Ink. So, she knows what she’s talking about when she describes the “countless doubts and fears, obligations and obstacles, real and perceived, logistical and emotional” that women face when they try to put pen to paper.

It’s not just unfounded fears, perfectionism, or shame that keep stories trapped, but women writers are also hindered by their inherited history of silence. It’s in women’s DNA because history was written by men about men, but that doesn’t mean it’s immutable.

This book provides powerful tools to help women understand, reframe, and release their creative potential despite doubts, insecurities, and fears. It encourages aspiring women writers to face and reframe their fears and insecurities and to manage expectations by focusing on their talents rather than their insecurities, which can hinder their creativity.

Melcher aptly explains how constant self-sabotage undermines the written page and often fuels the relentless pursuit of perfection, which can only be overcome by embracing imperfection and putting words to the page because the beauty lies in the creation itself,

“The art is the doing; it is the journey, which is an imperfect process.”

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

International Handbook of Love by Claude-Hélène Mayer and Elisabeth Vanderheiden — International Handbook of Love

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POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY WAVES IN RECOVERY

August 4, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

“A lot of books in this space stay clinical or overly theoretical, but your manuscript carries something far more personal and grounded. The way you connect childhood trauma, cognitive distortions, shame, self-sabotage, neuroplasticity, and recovery into a practical, lived experience.” – LISA BRANDON

SEARCH OTHER RECENT TESTIMONIALS HERE.

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

Upcoming Seminars

October 14, 2026. 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 29, 2026. 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
December 12, 2026. Lakeshore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, IL

Reviews

Please review “A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety.” To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY WAVES IN RECOVERY

There are two distinct but potentially complementary methods of psychological healthcare. The “wellness model” and the pathographic or “disease model,” which remains the current predominant approach. Its clinical, impersonal methodology focuses on the biological and neurological origins of mental well-being, emphasizing the disease rather than the individual.

To balance this myopic perspective, we need to incorporate the more empathetic, personalized approach of the wellness model.

The wellness model seeks to balance the disease model’s myopic perspective by considering the individuals’ assets. Such as their character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. This model recognizes that a person’s condition is not simply a collection of negative traits. But rather a dynamic expression of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reflect their emotional, mental, and moral character, and subsequent mental health.

The disease model, often viewed as defect-oriented, sharply contrasts with the asset-oriented wellness model. Essentially, the disease model of mental health concentrates on identifying what is wrong with us. While the wellness model emphasizes what is right about us.

A coalescence of both approaches is the ideal solution.

Positive psychology (PP) serves as the cornerstone of the wellness model. It has its roots in humanistic psychology. Supported by early influential figures such as Emerson, Thoreau, Carl Rogers, and Abraham Maslow. Pioneers of current positive psychology include Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Carol Ryff, and Paul Wong.

Positive psychology provides essential elements for recovery from social anxiety and related conditions.

Humanistic Psychology

Humanistic Psychology emphasizes the whole individual, stressing concepts such as free will, self-efficacy, and self-actualization. This approach fosters a holistic understanding of an individual, enabling them to live authentic and meaningful lives. It reminds us that we are not merely a collection of symptoms. But complex, unique individuals with the potential for growth and self-fulfillment, underlining the value of our individuality.

From Maslow to Seligman

Abraham Maslow first coined the term “positive psychology” in his 1954 seminal work, Motivation and Personality. He argued that psychology’s focus on disorder and dysfunction fails to capture human potential adequately. Maslow categorized human needs into five levels: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. He later expanded this hierarchy to include cognitive, aesthetic, and transcendence needs. Maslow’s hierarchy illustrates the importance of satisfying each level for psychological well-being and how each level influences the others.

Several decades later, Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi introduced the concept of optimal human functioning, which became the foundation of positive psychology. Seligman legitimized this field during his presidency of the American Psychological Association in 1998.

Interestingly, this development coincided with the publication of the 1984 fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (APA, 2014), which officially replaced the term “social phobia” with “social anxiety disorder (SAD).” The manual defined SAD as a “marked and persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or possible scrutiny by others.” This historical context laid the foundation for the common characteristics and traits associated with social anxiety disorder.

Positive Psychology Interventions

Research by Chakhssi et al. (2018) has shown that positive psychology interventions can improve well-being and decrease psychological distress in individuals with mild depression, mood disorders, and even psychotic disorders. Studies support the use of positive psychological constructs, theories, and interventions to better understand and improve mental health.

Intervention research has tested various approaches to promoting well-being. A recent study found that positive psychology interventions resulted in “significant improvements in mental well-being (from non-flourishing to flourishing mental health) while also decreasing both anxiety and depressive symptom severity” (Schotanus-Dijkstra et al., 2018).

Continuing research suggests that a positive psychological outlook can directly improve life outcomes and enhance health. A meta-analysis by Sin and Lyubomirsky (2009) of 51 studies involving 4,266 individuals demonstrated that positive psychology interventions significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.

The academic discipline of positive psychology continues to develop evidence-based interventions that foster positive feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. The aforementioned study by Chakhssi et al. (2018) indicated that positive psychology interventions “decreased psychological distress in individuals with mood and depressive disorders and in patients with psychotic disorders, improving quality of life and well-being.”

Positive psychology presents promising strategies “to support recovery in people with common mental illnesses, and preliminary evidence suggests it can also be beneficial for those with more severe mental conditions” (Schrank et al., 2014).

The positive psychology perspective asserts that individuals with a mental disorder can lead satisfying and fulfilling lives, regardless of the symptoms or impairments associated with their diagnosis (Slade, 2010). Positive psychology aims “to emphasize the positive while managing and transforming the negative to increase well-being.”

By focusing on enhancing well-being and optimal functioning in addition to alleviating symptoms, the positive psychology movement seeks to destigmatize mental illness. Positive psychologists believe that the positive psychology perspective is essential to contemporary research to complement the long tradition of pathogen orientation.

Recovery Goal and Objectives

The goal of recovery is the dramatic alleviation of the symptoms of our social anxiety and related conditions. The following three objectives support the goal.

1. Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.

2. Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.

3. Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.

Positive Psychology

Positive psychology works through three sequential waves or aspects to address these recovery objectives. By focusing on our character strengths, positive psychology helps regenerate our self-esteem, undermined by social anxiety’s adverse self-appraisal. Additionally, it activates proactive neuroplasticity—the deliberate, repetitive input of positive information— to counterbalance the negative information stemming from core beliefs and assumptions related to our condition.

Positive psychology is called the science of optimal functioning. Its objective is to identify the strengths, virtues, and attributes necessary for individuals and society to live productive lives. Optimal functioning involves striving to reach our full potential and not just enduring life but flourishing in it.

Positive psychology began as a methodology that complements and supports traditional psychology rather than replacing it. Today, it is an umbrella term encompassing research on positive emotions and related topics. Such as creativity, optimism, resilience, empathy, compassion, humor, and emotional well-being. As a powerful tool for self-empowerment, positive psychology helps us reclaim our positive identity and understand our inherent strengths.

One of the first steps in our recovery journey is to identify these strengths and attributes that social anxiety may have obscured. A significant limitation of early positive psychology was its tendency to prioritize positive qualities. While overlooking the negative or real-world aspects of the human condition.

Positive Psychology 2.0

Recognizing the need for balance, psychologists advocated for a more holistic approach to well-being. Positive Psychology 2.0 emerged as a response to the previous singular focus on optimism, incorporating both positive and negative aspects of the holistic individual. Such an approach demonstrates the dialectical nature of human thought and behavior, recognizing that we possess both assets and flaws. This balanced self-awareness is essential for healing and growth, promoting a sense of equilibrium and a deeper understanding of our motivations.

Optimal human functioning is not solely about positivity. It involves living a balanced and meaningful life that fully engages both our positive and negative dimensions.

Positive Psychology 2.0 plays a crucial role in identifying and addressing the irrational fears and anxieties that contribute to negative self-appraisal, which can lead to the formation of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). This process encourages us to respond to these thoughts with rationality, transforming them into opportunities for personal growth and change.

Positive Psychology 3.0

The third wave of positive psychology, PP 3.0 fosters a sense of community and belonging by broadening the focus of research and practice beyond the individual. It encompasses relationships, groups, organizations, and societies, exploring how our character and values reflect and contribute to the communities we are part of.

This third wave of development supports our reintegration into society by equipping us with tools and strategies for navigating transitions. Being mindful of our value and significance, enhanced by improved self-esteem, motivates us to pay it forward by supporting others, thereby strengthening our sense of connection.

In summary, Positive Psychology 1.0 focused on our character strengths, virtues, and attributes, serving as a powerful tool in early recovery. By recognizing and emphasizing our positive qualities, we counteract the abundance of neural negativity and adverse self-appraisal. This process helps us rediscover and prioritize our strengths, virtues, and achievements rather than our negative traits.

Recovery involves not only recognizing our strengths and virtues but also acknowledging our shortcomings. This balanced perspective is essential for healing and moving forward. The recovery process entails learning to identify the irrational fears and anxieties that drive our thoughts and behaviors, which contribute to the establishment of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Positive Psychology 2.0 provides the tools we need to navigate these challenges effectively.

Positive psychology 3.0 has expanded the focus of research and practice from just the individual to include relationships, groups, communities, organizations, and societies. This shift emphasizes how we can reintegrate into and contribute to our communities.

Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of our recovery. It embodies an empowering awareness of our qualities and character, including our imperfections. It involves not only how we perceive ourselves but also how we believe others perceive us and how we process that information. A healthy level of self-esteem reassures us of our worth and significance, empowering us to navigate our recovery journey with confidence and capability.

As we develop a renewed awareness of ourselves, we cultivate self-compassion and self-appreciation. Recognizing our unique contributions inspires and motivates us to share them with others. Interconnectedness is not just a natural progression of self-esteem. It’s a vital one that fosters a sense of caring and empathy, demonstrating the positive outcomes of recovery.

Positive psychology plays a significant role in our recovery journey. It goes beyond self-care; it’s about understanding our worth and potential while championing these beliefs in others. This moral evolution is a natural part of recovery, and positive psychology is a critical force in this process.

It’s essential to recognize that positive psychology is just one component of an effective recovery program. A comprehensive plan that incorporates closely related approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, active and proactive neuroplasticity, recovery-oriented cognitive therapy, schema therapy, cognitive-behavioral modification, acceptance and commitment therapy, rational emotive behavior therapy, and gradual exposure therapy, provides the necessary support for a well-rounded recovery program.

APA. American Psychiatric Association. (1984). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed.).American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.

Chakhssi, F., Kraiss, J.T., Sommers-Spijkerman, M. et al. (2018). The effect of positive psychology interventions on well-being and distress in clinical samples with psychiatric or somatic disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Psychiatry 18, 211 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1739-2

Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. Harper, New York City

Schotanus-Dijkstra, M., Drossaert, C.H.C., Pieterse, M.E. et al. (2018) Towards sustainable mental health promotion: trial-based health-economic evaluation of a positive psychology intervention versus usual care. BMC Psychiatry 18, 265 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1825-5

Schrank B, Brownell T, Tylee A, Slade M. (2014). Positive psychology: an approach to supporting recovery in mental illness. East Asian Arch Psychiatry. 2014 Sep;24(3):95-103. PMID: 25316800.

Sin, N. L., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2009). Enhancing well-being and alleviating depressive symptoms with positive psychology interventions: A practice-friendly meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 65(5), 467–487. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20593

Slade, M. (2010) Mental illness and well-being: the central importance of positive psychology and recovery approaches. BMC Health Serv Res 10, 26 (2010). https://doi.org/10.1186/1472-6963-10-26

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Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours). Contact ‘rmullephd@gmail.com’ if you would like your book reviewed for Amazon, BookBub, Goodreads , etc.

The Choice: Embrace The Possible By Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Choice

International Handbook Of Love — Handbook of Love

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

Labeling Dictates Questionable Preconceptions

July 28, 2026Cognitive Distortions, Mental Health, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Labeling Dictates Questionable Preconceptions — LABELING

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UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

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“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P.J. GUDKA, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

SEARCH OTHER RECENT TESTIMONIALS HERE.

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; paperback $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

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Upcoming Seminars

October 14, 2026. 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 29, 2026. 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN

Spotlight Event For Dr. Robert F. Mullen Writer Of A Survivors Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety

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Reviews

To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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Labeling

Cognitive Distortion #9

Labeling involves reducing individuals or groups to a few negative traits. It often results in dismissive or demeaning views based on isolated actions or conduct. This simplified approach can omit information that contradicts the label, leading to a distorted, biased portrayal.

Labeling can also be positive. However, due to the adversarial nature of social anxiety, our focus is on unhelpful and harmful labeling.

Negative labeling

Negative labeling can cause painful emotions, leading to resentment and hostility. When we label, we create 230 distance and stereotypes. “Because my husband can’t fix the dishwasher, he is useless.” “Because she won’t talk to me, I am sexually unattractive.” These labels not only limit us to perceived shortcomings but also cause serious emotional harm.

When We Label Others

Other labeling occurs when we brand others to compensate for our insecurities. For example, if we feel alienated at a party, we might label the other guests as rude or hostile. If our companions don’t provide the support we believe we are entitled to, we might label them disloyal. If our partner is critical of our behavior, we might label them demeaning or confrontational.

Consider the mental and emotional repercussions of labeling someone as mentally ill when they disclose a therapeutic relationship. Or labeling someone unattractive because they don’t meet our myopic standards of desirability.

Labeling can be emotionally exhausting for those of us with social anxiety when our symptoms cause others to label us. For example, being called ‘awkward’ or ‘weird’ due to communication difficulties can reinforce negative self-views, heighten our anxiety, and undermine our self-esteem.

Self-Labeling

Reflect on the emotional damage we cause when we label someone as ignorant, incompetent, stupid, cowardly, worthless, or ugly. Now consider the effect on our own emotional well-being when we use these words to describe ourselves, driven by self-judgment reinforced by our social anxiety.

Personal labeling (self-labeling) is assigning negative tags to reinforce our negative view of ourselves. We know how upsetting it feels when someone labels us negatively.

When we engage in personal labeling, we reinforce feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. Labeling ourselves with negative terms is obviously counterproductive and worsens our anxiety and depression. It leads to thoughts and actions that reinforce that label, creating a cycle of negative self-perceptions that deepen our insecurities.

Questioning Labeling

Labeling someone or a group arbitrarily based on isolated incidents or behaviors doesn’t reflect their true character and can be hurtful and biased.

Instead of focusing on the specific element or bias that led to the label, it is important to recognize the person’s or group’s positive contributions. We should treat everyone with compassionate understanding.

For example, instead of labeling someone as ‘aloof’ or ‘arrogant,’ we might see their behavior as signs of shyness or anxiety. Rather than giving an unfair label, it’s more compassionate and honest to try to understand the reasons behind their actions or discomfort.

Our preconceived notions often stem from bias, disinformation, or unconscious projections. It’s important to question these assumptions when we feel the urge to label someone based on how they look or act. Why do we think this way? What motivates us to describe someone by a specific trait? By examining our assumptions, we can develop a better understanding and avoid the pitfalls of labeling.

Focusing on Constructive Behaviors

We are much more than just a label. We are unique individuals with diverse backgrounds, beliefs, idiosyncrasies, needs, desires, and concerns.

Reflect on the damage of labels and their impact on individuals. How does being labeled affect us? We abhor being judged and criticized. Why would we do the same to others? Why would we do it to ourselves?

Instead of labeling, it is more courageous and honest to focus on a person’s or group’s positive, constructive behaviors. By recognizing and valuing their contributions, motivations, and other strengths, we build a more compassionate and relatable relationship. It is always easier to label than to try to understand.

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Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Control Fallacies

July 22, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P. J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.” (Amazon)

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

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Upcoming Seminar

October 14, 2026

Reviews

To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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CONTROL FALLACIES

Cognitive Distortion

Do you believe that everything that happens around you is your fault, or do you feel powerless and unable to change anything? These questions touch on the cognitive distortion known as the control fallacy.

A fallacy is an inaccurate belief based on unreliable evidence or unsound arguments. The control fallacy specifically refers to the degree of control we believe we have over situations, life events, and the feelings and actions of others.

We believe we control things for which we are not accountable, or we are convinced that fate or other people control our behaviors and circumstances.

External Control Fallacy

The external control fallacy occurs when we convince ourselves that outside forces dominate our lives, especially when certain conditions or emotions seem unmanageable or when we feel incapable or unwilling to take responsibility for them.

For instance, delinquents might blame their parents, philanderers might blame their wives, or a student might falsely blame an instructor’s bias for a failing grade.

When we feel externally controlled, we tend to perceive ourselves as weak and impotent. This sense of powerlessness then leads to self-blame for our perceived ineptitude or to blaming others for their inadequate or disappointing decisions that adversely impact us. This mindset leads to feelings of being stuck, such as in a dead-end job or relationship.

Believing that we cannot change these situations leads to the ‘why bother syndrome‘, in which we assume that no matter what we do, the outcome will be the same, so we stop trying altogether. When we believe we lack the power to manage our own lives, we feel helpless, which inevitably leads to hopelessness.

Externally Controlling Social Anxiety

The biggest myth about external control is social anxiety. Once I understood how it manipulated me, I saw my youthful mistakes—my substance abuse, anger, confusion, and job struggles—as connected to my condition. Once I learned to manage my social anxiety, I was able to take responsibility for my actions. The same will happen to you.

Perceived Versus Actual Control

Social anxiety has such a strong influence that it shapes our irrational thoughts and behaviors, weakens our social skills, and blocks our ability to form relationships. This intense feeling of external control can make SAD seem all-powerful, dictating our every move.

However, true understanding comes through learning and unlearning. That’s when we realize that believing our condition controls us is a mistake. Social anxiety doesn’t have independent power over our lives. We let it influence us through ignorance or by avoiding confrontation and challenges.

Internal Control Fallacy

On the other hand, the internal control fallacy happens when we unjustifiably assume responsibility for others’ actions and situations. We think that if something goes wrong in someone else’s life, it must be our fault, even when there’s no reason to believe so. Our irrational mindset pushes us to feel responsible for others’ experiences and to blame ourselves for their struggles and unhappiness.

Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings or situation can cause us to blame ourselves for not fixing the problem. This guilt harms our relationships and raises our anxiety. Familiar thoughts might be, “It’s my fault my wife is unhappy,” or “He drinks because I don’t appreciate him.”

Such irrational thoughts seriously damage our self-esteem.

Our compulsion to blame ourselves for our condition, despite evidence to the contrary, is an internal control fallacy best left by the emotional roadside.

Breaking Free from Control Fallacies

Control fallacies involve wrongly blaming others or misattributing fault. Common sense tells us to take responsibility for our own actions, not for others’. Unfortunately, social anxiety isn’t governed by logic. We need to recognize when we fall into either form of this cognitive distortion and challenge it rationally.

Recognizing our misuse of control fallacies can be freeing, helping us understand why we feel compelled to control others or let others control us.

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

Life Just Isn’t Fair

July 15, 2026Behavior, Cognitive Distortions, Mental Health, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Life Just Isn't Fair — Life Just Isn’t Fair

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P. J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.” (Amazon)

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR REVIEW

I recognize that reviewing a non-fiction book on social anxiety can be challenging. However, without your support, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety might end up in the dustbin, instead of reaching those who need help. Early reviews indicate this book is an important and timely guide to understanding and overcoming social and performance anxiety.

Why are Reviews So Important?

Reviews influence retailer algorithms, boosting a book’s visibility. Without enough reviews, new books end up in the dustbin rather than helping those who need and deserve help.

Two Major Types of Book Reviews

Editorial reviews are professional reviews written by industry experts, journalists, or review organizations.

General reader reviews are honest opinions from former and current students, colleagues, group members, blog subscribers, friends, and those seeking relief from social and performance anxiety, depression, and related issues. An Amazon review doesn’t need to be academic or scholarly, but should reflect how the book affects you personally.

The review can be anything from a short paragraph or two to a lengthy one, like P.J. Gudka’s thoughtful and comprehensive review found HERE.

The Numbers

While there is no strict number, aiming for at least 20-50 reviews is generally recommended to enhance visibility and credibility for a new, important work.

10-20 reviews can help establish initial momentum for the book. This is often seen as a good starting point to build credibility among potential readers

Unlocking Promotions

Achieving 15+ reviews is required to qualify for Amazon ads and certain promotional tools. This can further boost the book’s reach and sales potential.

Visibility and Credibility

A common consensus suggests that 50+ reviews can significantly boost a book’s visibility on Amazon. Books with this number of reviews are often perceived as more credible, which can influence purchasing decisions

Long-Term Strategy

While 50 reviews can be a milestone, aiming for 100+ reviews is ideal for maximizing your book’s exposure and sales potential. This higher number can lead to better rankings in search results and increased visibility in marketing channels

Conclusion

In summary, although there is no specific number of reviews that guarantees success, aiming for 20-50 reviews is a practical starting point, and reaching 100+ reviews can greatly boost a book’s credibility and visibility.

We need your support..

Criteria

To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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THE FALLACY OF FAIRNESS

Cognitive Distortion

The “fallacy of fairness” is the unrealistic belief that life should be equitable. This notion is something most people grapple with at some point, as we measure fairness by how well our personal preferences are met.

We know how we want to be treated, and anything that conflicts with our expectations can seem unfair and, sometimes, unbearable. Fairness, however, is a subjective assessment, shaped by our beliefs and experiences. It reflects our biased view of how others, institutions, and even nature should respond to our wants and expectations.

When reality does not align with our perceptions of fairness, we often experience self-indulgent emotions, such as anger, self-pity, and disappointment.

The idea that everything should be fair and reasonable is noble, but it isn’t practical. Humans are inherently self-oriented, and institutions pursue their own agendas. Only nature itself is impartial. It is natural and reasonable to want things to go our way. However, expecting them to go our way is unrealistic. As Grandpa says in The Princess Bride, “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?”

Our concept of fairness often depends on conditional assumptions that allow us to avoid personal accountability. For example, thinking, “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade,” overlooks the fact that effort does not always lead to comprehension. Teachers base grades on test results, and the willingness and ability to learn are subjective. It may seem unfair to the student, but that is wishful thinking.

An excellent example of the fallacy of fairness involves two friends who grew up in the same environment, attended the same college, and ended up working at the same law firm. Paul is successful and on the fast track to partnership, while Andrew is unable to climb the corporate ladder.

Resentful of Paul’s success, Andrew is convinced the firm is mistreating him. He believes he is just as deserving as his friend. Even worse, he begrudges Paul for not supporting him as he deems appropriate. However, success relies on many factors, including luck, relationships, timing, and skill. Fairness isn’t a top priority for companies.

For those experiencing social anxiety, it is common to feel that life is unfair compared to people without these struggles. The phrase, “If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety,” is a familiar complaint. It is also flawed. Despite our desire to assign responsibility, the origins of childhood disturbance are often unclear, and blaming is not conducive to personal growth and healing.

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

The Gift: 14 Lessons To Save Your Life By Edith Eger — The Gift

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

IN GRATITUDE

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Upcoming Events

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Reviews and Testimonials

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

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Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

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Upcoming Events

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Devising Rational Coping Statements

Three Effective Coping Mechanisms

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Rational Coping Statements

Steps to Devising Rational Coping Statements

Fear Situation

Associated Fears

Corresponding ANTs.

Examine and Analyze Our Associated Fears and Corresponding ANTS

Devise Rational Coping Statements

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

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Register for our January 2027 Workshops

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BOOK REVIEW

Breathing Lessons

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

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Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

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Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts

Core Beliefs

Childhood Trauma

Formation of Negative Core Beliefs

Unsatisfied Needs and Their Consequences

Intermediate Beliefs

Onset of Social Anxiety

Negative Self-Appraisal

Situation

Triggers

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)

Jonathan

Modifying Thought Patterns

Carpe Diem

Intrusive Thoughts

The Nature of Intrusive Thoughts

Managing Intrusive Thoughts

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Upcoming Events

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BOOK REVIEW

CELEBRATING POETRY. A companion guide to Re-Create and Celebrate

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Other Recommended Books

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Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

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Interpreting Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Sources of Low Self-Esteem

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Insufficient Satisfaction of Needs

Level 1: Biological and Physiological

Level 2: Safety and Security

CELEBRATING POETRY.
A companion guide to Re-Create and Celebrate

HARDWIRING HAPPINESS: The New Brain Science
of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence