All posts by Robert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

About Robert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Dr. Robert F. Mullen is the director of ReChanneling Inc, dedicated to the alleviation of physiological dysfunction and discomfort and the pursuit of personal goals and objectives. Its paradigmatic approach to historically and clinically practical approaches targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI―deliberate, repetitive, neural information. A published worldwide academic author, Mullen's dissertation focused on advanced human potential―the capacity to harness the intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living and the potential to lift the human spirit. His academic disciplines include contemporary behavior, modified psychobiography, and method psychology. View all posts by Robert F. Mullen, Ph.D. →

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

November 10, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Events

~~September 2026:~~ ~~Guest Blog~~ – Wild Ink Publishing
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
~~October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro~~
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 readers in Pasadena
November 14, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
November 23, 2026: The Bobby Jones Show; TN & NJ
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT.
TBD: 1767 readers in Liverpool
TBD: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
TBD: Return engagement with Ari Shapiro

Upcoming Seminars by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

_____________________________________________________

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

We continue our overview of the eight most prevalent defense mechanisms used by people experiencing social anxiety. Last week, we tackled:

avoidance (e.g., evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort),
compensation (e.g., overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy),
denial (e.g., refusing to acknowledge a problem),
displacement (e.g., taking frustrations out on others),

This week we examine the remaining four:

dissociation (e.g., mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations),
projection (e.g., attributing our flaws to others),
rationalization (e.g., justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations),
and the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

The self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors caused by our condition can be difficult for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies that protect our well-being from emotional turmoil.

Defense mechanisms are healthy when used to manage our emotional well-being, but they become problematic when we rely on them to avoid reality. Recovery involves examining and understanding how these strategies sustain our irrational thoughts and behaviors.

_____________________________________________________

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

DISSOCIATION

An essential part of recovery is distancing ourselves from our condition—stepping outside the bullseye, as it were. As long as we remain entwined with our social anxiety disorder, we tend to see ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. These core beliefs, identified by the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, Dr. Aaron Beck, and expanded upon in our workshops, contribute to our social anxiety and depression.

Traditionally, dissociation is an unconscious disconnection from reality. It allows individuals to mitigate the effects of trauma by severing specific mental connections. Theoretically, our minds unconsciously block memories, emotions, thoughts, and impulses that threaten our emotional well-being.

For instance, a person who has experienced a traumatic event might dissociate from triggers that could rekindle the trauma, effectively ‘shutting off’ the emotions and memories associated with the event.

Dissociation can present itself as depersonalization (self-detachment) or derealization (environmental detachment).

In recovery, we view dissociation on a spectrum. On one end, daydreaming or watching television to avoid conflict is a harmless form of dissociation, while at the other end we find the development of multiple personalities; a psychosis called DID (dissociative identity disorder) requires specialized treatment.

Our first exercise in our book, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, was to begin to dissociate ourselves from our social anxiety. We learn to define ourselves by our character strengths, such as kindness, fairness, creativity, and optimism, rather than by the symptoms of our condition. We are not our social anxiety. We are intelligent and resilient individuals experiencing the reparable symptoms of social anxiety.

This shift in self-appraisal enables us to take control of our condition, which significantly weakens it.

Uncoupling from our condition lets us objectively analyze negative thoughts and behaviors, enabling us to respond rationally and productively. By consciously disassociating, we can deactivate the self-destructive aspects of our condition and activate our strengths, virtues, attributes, and accomplishments. This encourages us to focus on the positive aspects of our character, thereby overriding the negative self-appraisals triggered by our social anxiety.

We are not our social anxiety. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the pain of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition. We are not our symptoms or traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of a devious and powerful mental health condition. This understanding frees us from the shackles of our condition, enabling us to thrive and recover.

PROJECTION

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which we attribute our undesirable thoughts, feelings, impulses, or behaviors to another person or group to avoid confronting and dealing with them.

When we project, we subconsciously deny certain negative character traits in ourselves while recognizing or creating them in others. For example, we might project our fear of negative evaluation by ridiculing someone else’s inept attempt at socializing. Or if we carry repressed anger to a company event, we might perceive others as belligerent and aggressive rather than acknowledging our own hostility.

Projection serves as a protective shield for our emotional well-being, offering relief from anxiety-provoking thoughts or feelings. By attributing our problems to someone or something else, we create a safe distance from what distresses us about ourselves.

For instance, someone who is dishonest might constantly suspect others of lying, or the bar patron on his fifth scotch might criticize the obvious inebriation of the person at the other end of the bar.

Often, when we instinctively dislike or avoid someone, we unconsciously project our disagreeable traits and impulses onto them.

Psychological projection occurs when we are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for our fears, anxieties, prejudices, and irrational thoughts and behaviors. It is easier to recognize negative emotions in others than to acknowledge them in ourselves.

Like many defense mechanisms, projection may be healthy in the short term; however, recovery compels us to address the causes of our projection.

The long-term effects of persistent anxiety projection are detrimental to our health and may exacerbate the traditional symptoms of our social anxiety, including chronic stress, the constant influx of fear- and anxiety-provoking hormones, and decreased or stagnant self-esteem.

Anxiety Projection

Anxiety projection is particularly relevant to our condition. Unconsciously projecting our anxious thoughts, feelings, or impulses onto others or onto external situations helps us cope with emotions that threaten our emotional stability. Rather than acknowledging our fears or insecurities, we deny them by attributing them to external sources.

The traits that lead to anxiety projection are common in social anxiety. They include social avoidance, overthinking, perfectionism, porous emotional boundaries, and codependency. Recognizing these traits can help us better understand and manage our condition, knowing that we are not alone in this struggle.

Socially, projected anxiety can create a cycle of misunderstanding and conflict. For instance, someone projecting their insecurities might accuse their partner of being unfaithful without evidence, which can easily lead to relationship conflict. We tend to avoid companionship and intimacy in anticipation of rejection. Projecting these fears allows us to evade responsibility.

Practical strategies for managing anxiety projection are within our reach. They focus on increasing self-awareness, challenging cognitive distortions, and reframing our fears and self-appraisals. By implementing these strategies, we learn to manage our issues rather than projecting them onto an unsuspecting external source.

RATIONALIZATION

Rationalization is not the same as rational thought or rational coping statements, which are logical, self-affirming responses to our automatic negative and intrusive thoughts and other irrational and destructive self-appraisals that threaten our emotional well-being.

Rationalization is a defense strategy in which we justify uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with allegedly logical explanations rather than acknowledging the actual reason behind them.

In essence, we deny or distort reality (attributes of cognitive distortions) to reduce our emotional discomfort and self-disappointment by inventing a plausible excuse that masks the real explanation for our behavior or feelings.

For example, if we are socially rejected, we might convince ourselves that the person is already in a relationship. If our presentation is substandard, we blame the lighting and tech.

These excuses shield us from self-recrimination, blame, and disappointment.

Rationalization allows us to reframe our actions or feelings in a more socially and personally acceptable way, protecting our self-esteem and avoiding emotions that challenge our self-image. Psychologists consider defense mechanisms such as rationalization and projection to be unconscious strategies that protect us from threats to our self-esteem.

Although rationalizations misrepresent our true motivations, they protect us from the shame, guilt, or anxiety we might feel when we fail to fulfill our true intentions. Rationalization plays a crucial role in maintaining our emotional stability by revising our interpretations of outcomes.

We rationalize our thoughts and behaviors to make them more acceptable, shielding us from negative self-appraisal and helping us maintain a positive self-image. This reassurance is a key function of rationalization.

We rationalize to protect our self-esteem and maintain a positive outlook, and in the short term, this provides comforting relief. It helps us alleviate stress until we are better equipped to process our motivations.

However, excessive use of rationalization can lead to further problems. Denying, ignoring, or subordinating the truth of a traumatic situation, whether consciously or unconsciously, prevents us from honestly evaluating our reactions and responses and from making positive changes.

Deflecting Responsibility

When we experience anxiety or guilt about our actions, rationalization offers an emotional escape. It replaces discomfort with emotionally acceptable explanations, but it also enables us to evade responsibility for the outcome, which is a crucial point to consider.

An excellent example of rationalization is the dieter who opts out of the recommended exercise regimen because it is too time-consuming and because they have failed at in the past — so what’s the point?

Rationalization versus Lying

It’s important to distinguish between rationalization and deception. While lying is a deliberate attempt to mislead, rationalization is a largely or entirely unconscious strategy. Both conceal the truth and mask our real motives.

Rationalization, in its various forms—such as minimizing, deflecting, blaming, and attacking—is a common human experience. We’ve all been in situations where we downplay a task’s importance, shift blame to others, or make excuses for our actions. Rationalization is a natural defense mechanism that keeps us from taking responsibility and shields us from feelings that could challenge our self-esteem.

While it defends against distressing thoughts, erratic behavior, and failed outcomes, rationalization sidesteps the deeper problems that require attention.

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months. If you are not affiliated with Amazon, a Goodreads review is just as valid.

_____________________________________________________

REPRESSION, SUPPRESSION, REGRESSION

Repression

Repression operates at the deepest level of our unconscious mind. It’s a process in which we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too difficult to handle. In psychology, repression is the process of keeping specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.

While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that it can lead to enduring psychological issues. These memories, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions.

For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might steer us away from specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.

These occurrences can trigger anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression for our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.

Suppression

Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a conscious choice to set aside painful thoughts and memories to address them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery, as it allows us to resolve the issues we have temporarily suppressed.

Understanding the distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is essential. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a conscious decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition so we can address them dispassionately and objectively.

Understanding these nuances can provide deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery, making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.

Repression is often confused with denial, a defense strategy in which we refuse to admit unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth.

For example, a person in denial about their addiction may refuse to acknowledge their problem despite clear evidence.

Repression, on the other hand, involves the unconscious dismissal of thoughts. It’s the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by pushing it out of conscious awareness.

Regression

We sometimes conflate regression with repression. Regression is reverting to an earlier or less mature stage of psychological development, where we feel safe from emotional conflict. Repression is the unconscious attempt to forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires.

Both are psychological mechanisms for unconsciously forgetting or blocking distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a serious psychological issue that requires more specialized treatment, which a traditional recovery program does not provide.

A primary objective of a treatment program is to unblock these memories and emotions to address the root causes of our unconscious unwillingness or inability to confront distressing or traumatic events or situations.

Certain aspects of our person are broken. It is impossible to fix something broken unless we clearly understand its causes. It’s like a novice car mechanic attempting to rebuild a transmission without knowing the basics of engine operation.

How do we identify the defense strategy we use to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable or unmanageable issue? It’s like recognizing an unfamiliar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain precisely how you know, but you do.

Similarly, we often recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action. This underscores the importance of self-awareness in identifying, understanding, and accepting why we use certain defense mechanisms to avoid confronting the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences.

This correctly suggests that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, understand, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid confronting the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. During recovery, we learn specific coping strategies that reduce our emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.

________________________________________________________

Book Review

OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY STEP BY STEP

By Thomas A. Richards, PhD.

Director of The Social Anxiety Institute in Phoenix, which has been offering its own brand of therapy and workshops for over thirty years. Dr. Richards provides a comprehensive and easily digestible manual covering the many tools and techniques used for recovery from social anxiety.

While his presentation of recovery strategies and overview of self-directed neuroplasticity are limited, Richards offsets this with clear, meticulous explanations of each clinical procedure. Unlike A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, the author doesn’t dwell on client and personal stories and anecdotes, nor does he propose a linear recovery program. Instead, he describes each technique and its application in meticulous, extensive detail.

I highly recommend Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step as an excellent companion piece to my book. If my presentation of certain recovery methods is lacking or ambiguous, this book clarifies them. While I digress into personal and client experiences, Dr. Richards provides solid, easily understood descriptions of the tools and techniques clinicians recommend for recovery.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

The Art Of Imperfect Creation By Sierra Melcher — TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation

Celebrating Poetry By Cindy Georgakas — Celebrating Poetry

How To Be Yourself By Ellen Hendriksen — How to Be Yourself

Handwiring Happiness By Rick Hanson — Hardwiring Happiness

All The Words I Kept Inside By P. J. Gudka — All the Words I Kept Inside

The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Choice

_____________________________________________________

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) reduce symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives — harnessing our natural ability for extraordinary living. Our core approach focuses on personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, using neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and techniques to rebuild self-esteem. All donations go toward scholarships for groups and workshops.

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

November 3, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Coping Mechanisms, Defense Mechanisms, Depression, Recovery, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Events

_____________________________________________________

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

The irrational thoughts and behaviors caused by our condition can be difficult for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies that protect our well-being from emotional turmoil.

We deny, avoid, or compensate for a problem instead of acknowledging it. We rationalize our actions, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.

Defense mechanisms help us avoid situations that threaten our fragile self-image. Without them, we can experience decompensation, characterized by emotional overload and an inability to effectively manage stress and maintain our mental health.

_____________________________________________________

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Recognizing how we use defense mechanisms to avoid reality is a vital step toward recovery. It helps us turn them into tools for growth and healing and empowers us to take control of our mental well-being and navigate recovery with confidence.

To date, psychologists have identified more than thirty defense mechanisms. Eight are especially relevant to social anxiety:

avoidance: evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort.
compensation: overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy.
denial: refusing to acknowledge a problem.
displacement: taking out frustrations on others.
dissociation: mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations.
projection: attributing our flaws to others.
rationalization: justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations.
the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

AVOIDANCE

A primary SAD symptom is our intense fear or anxiety in social situations, which leads us to avoid interacting with others. Human interconnectivity is essential for emotional health. Turning down opportunities to socialize exacerbates our isolation and limits opportunities for intimacy and friendship.

However, there is a clear distinction between avoiding something out of fear and avoiding it for rational reasons. Discretion in whom and where we engage is essential, as is adhering to our established boundaries and avoiding situations that threaten our physical or emotional stability.

COMPENSATION

Compensation is a defense strategy we use when we try to excel in one area of our lives to hide perceived flaws in another. It helps us conceal or overcome these inadequacies by becoming skilled in something else.

For example, a student might compensate for academic difficulties by excelling in sports or other extracurricular activities. Someone who feels intellectually inferior might become an artisan; a socially awkward person might become a performer; and someone with body dysmorphia may become a fitness enthusiast.

When used prudently, however, compensation can be a powerful tool for healing. We counteract our imperfections with positive, productive traits. We boost our self-esteem by reclaiming our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. We replace negative thoughts with positive stimuli.

However, the tendency to overcompensate is common among those of us experiencing social anxiety. In fact, it is often part of our daily struggles. The term refers to an overreaction to feelings of inferiority, incompetence, or inadequacy, leading to overzealous attempts to suppress those feelings by striving for perfection or seeking validation from others.

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well; it’s an obsessive need to be flawless, with anything less being unacceptable.

Unfortunately, as perfectionists, we harshly criticize ourselves when we fall short of our self-imposed standards. We worry excessively about our behavior before and during social situations, and we ruminate on these worries long afterward. When things don’t go as planned, we find it hard to move forward.

Social Anxiety and Perfectionism

Social anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked. Both are associated with higher anxiety and lower psychological well-being.

People experiencing SAD often perceive situations in extremes. To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is disastrous. We view others as either supporting us or opposing us. The world appears black-and-white, with no middle ground or room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.

Perfectionists and those with social or performance anxiety often avoid situations that could lead to self-sabotage, disappointment, or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing the wrong thing and dread criticism and ridicule. These worries intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.

Perfectionism pushes us to set unreasonable expectations, such as performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and maintaining complete control. When we can’t meet these expectations, we feel incompetent and inadequate.

_____________________________________________________

DENIAL

Denial is a defense strategy that leads us to refuse to accept facts or recognize reality to avoid facing certain truths. It protects us from thoughts and emotions we cannot manage. It shields us from potentially destructive stimuli by blocking our conscious awareness of harmful or threatening elements in our memories, experiences, and environment.

We can also deny something we’re not ready to reveal or something that challenges our core beliefs and deeply held convictions.

Denial is a common way to avoid taking responsibility for our behavior. Many individuals with drug or alcohol addiction deny their habit. Trauma victims often deny that the disturbing experience ever occurred to avoid emotional confrontation.

While denial can offer temporary respite from what our minds find unmanageable, persistent use can impede our ability to face our fears and control our lives. Freud called denial the ostrich effect because we bury our problems in the sand.

Denying our condition is a pervasive problem. The inability or unwillingness to accept the personal impact of social and performance anxiety is clearly hostile to recovery. Even worse, many individuals who know they are affected resist recovery. This reticence stems from our core belief in hopelessness and worthlessness, which prevents us from making the effort.

DISPLACEMENT

Displacement is a defense strategy in which we redirect negative or hostile emotions to a less threatening or more acceptable target. Our minds look for a safer outlet for triggers that feel challenging or dangerous. Displacement helps us cope with unmanageable feelings by transferring them onto something or someone else.

By displacing negative emotions or distressing experiences, we temporarily ease the anxiety associated with the source of distress. In common vernacular, we take our frustrations out on someone else.

Unleashing our unmanageable feelings onto those who pose a limited threat, such as a roommate, sibling, or associate, has obvious repercussions. A chastised worker might go home, shout at his wife, run the lawnmower into the flowerbed, and upend the cat. Each recipient of their displacement is adversely affected.

Examples of displacement include the student, upset about poor grades, who bullies someone on the playground during recess, and the wife, frustrated by her husband’s lack of attention, who seeks another sexual outlet to suppress her feelings of rejection.

Another form of displacement is sublimation, in which we redirect unacceptable urges into socially acceptable activities, such as the individual who sublimates their carnal desires by working out at the gym or the alcoholic who frequents AA meetings.

Individuals experiencing social or performance anxiety are prone to displacement and sublimation to relieve their persistent self-doubt, isolation, and negative self-appraisal. For example, when we become overwhelmed by unresolved fears at the company convention, we might displace our anger and self-disappointment onto someone we dislike or sublimate our discomfort by going out on the dance floor.

It is crucial to recognize that, like all defense mechanisms, the relief from displacement is temporary. This shows that we must become more aware of our emotional processes and develop more productive coping strategies.

Next week, we’ll continue our discussion of defense mechanisms, including dissociation, projection, rationalization, and the triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

_____________________________________________________

Book Review

DARKBIRCH ACADEMY 3: FIRE AND SHADOWS

By Krista Graves

Admittedly, I am not an expert on super-natural fantasies. I couldn’t care less about Harry Potter, but I greatly enjoyed Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy (I’m a big fan of Ian McKellen), so I had mixed feelings about a dark fantasy featuring blood magic, covens, warring dragons, and a magic academy.

For those readers who ask why I am reviewing a dark fantasy, I have two responses: (1) The author appreciated my book on social anxiety, and I support my readers, and (2) I am a firm believer in the benefits of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

I asked Krista Graves which of her books she would recommend, given my interest in mental health, and the author recommended Darkbirch Academy 3: Fire & Shadows, which falls in the middle of a five-book series, denying me the benefit of knowing what came before and after but adding to the unpredictability of the meticulously shifting plot.

The author’s disclaimer that “Any resemblance to actual events, locales, entities, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental,” is an understatement. The mix of political intrigue, whispers of the dead, romantic tension, and a complex cast of intriguing characters makes the journey highly enjoyable.

The tension and pacing never slow, which keeps the affair between the female warrior protagonist and an exiled dragon king captivating and the storyline unpredictable.

The novel is filled with nonstop action, suspense, and the inevitable cliffhanger that leads readers into Darkbirch Academy 4: Stars and Lies. If you are a fan of this genre, Krista Graves’ five-book series is a delightful romp into the world of dark fantasy.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

Fallacy of Fairness and Heaven’s Reward

October 27, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Cognitive Distortions, Depression, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

**Fallacy of Fairness and Heaven’s Reward**

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 26, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 26, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 members in Pasadena
November23, 2026: The Bobby Bones Show
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

Fallacy of Fairness
and Heaven’s Reward

The Fallacy of Fairness

The “fallacy of fairness” is the unrealistic belief that life should be equitable. Most people grapple with this notion at some point, as we measure fairness by how well it meets our personal preferences.

We know how we want to be treated, and anything that conflicts with our expectations can seem unfair and, sometimes, unbearable.

Fairness, however, is a subjective assessment, shaped by our beliefs and experiences. It reflects our biased view of how others, institutions, and even nature should respond to our wants and expectations. When reality doesn’t align with our perceptions of fairness, we often experience self-indulgent emotions, like anger, self-pity, and disappointment.

The idea that everything should be fair and reasonable is noble, but it isn’t practical. People are inherently self-oriented, and institutions pursue their own agendas. Only nature itself is impartial.

_____________________________________________________

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

It is natural and reasonable to want things to go our way. However, expecting them to go our way is unrealistic. As Grandpa says in The Princess Bride, “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?

Our concept of fairness often rests on conditional assumptions that let us avoid personal accountability. For example, thinking, “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade,” overlooks the fact that effort does not always lead to comprehension. Teachers base grades on test results, and the willingness and ability to learn are subjective. It may seem unfair to the student, but that is wishful thinking.

An excellent example of the fallacy of fairness involves two friends who grow up in the same environment, attend the same college, and end up working at the same law firm. Paul is successful and on the fast track to partnership, while Andrew can’t climb the corporate ladder. Resentful of Paul’s success, Andrew is convinced the firm is mistreating him. He believes he deserves as much as his friend. Worse, he begrudges Paul for not supporting him as he thinks he should.

However, success relies on many factors, including luck, relationships, timing, and skill. Fairness isn’t a top priority for companies.

For those experiencing social anxiety, it is common to feel that life is unfair compared to people without these struggles. The phrase, “If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety,” is a common complaint. It is also flawed. Despite our desire to assign responsibility, the origins of childhood disturbance are often unclear, and blaming is not conducive to personal growth and recovery.

_____________________________________________________

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

Closely related to the fallacy of fairness is the “heaven’s reward fallacy,” which is the belief that our hard work and selflessness will be justly rewarded. It assumes that if we act with grace and diligence, success and happiness will follow.

Aaron Beck describes this fallacy as the inaccurate belief that our hard work and altruism will be rewarded and that a higher power is keeping score. Although heavenly rewards refer to the afterlife, we still seek assurance in our present circumstances. Expecting reward for our productivity can cause disappointment and resentment when they don’t materialize.

Unhealthy Motivations and Their Consequences

Additionally, anticipating rewards for our actions often causes overcompensation, as we go beyond what is necessary to please others. In doing so, we become codependent, relying on others for our sense of worth and identity while neglecting our own needs.

Alternatively, we may enable others, justifying or supporting their behaviors to gain favor or friendship. This can lead to being exploited in our quest for validation.

Reasonable Expectations

Both the fallacy of fairness and the heaven’s reward fallacy stem from our desire for fairness and reciprocity. However, believing life is inherently fair and that our virtuous actions will be recognized is naive and unrealistic. We may convince ourselves our actions are selfless, but they are often driven by our need for acknowledgment and appreciation.

Fallacies in Relationships and the Workplace

Expecting equitable reciprocity in relationships is unrealistic. Our desire for acknowledgment can make us overly eager to please, which may be off-putting. When intimate partners fail to meet our expectations, it can lead to unhealthy, unsustainable relationships.

In the workplace, expecting special recognition for going above and beyond is all too common. Valuing ourselves based on how others perceive us, rather than on our abilities and work performance, can easily undermine collegiality and productivity.

Life is unpredictable, and our emotional well-being should come from within, not from external validation or rewards. Becoming aware of our tendency to fall into these fallacies can help us avoid the bitterness and self-recrimination that come with unmet expectations. By setting reasonable expectations and focusing on personal accountability, we can develop healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

_____________________________________________________

Film Review

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

By Alan Baiss & Joseh Garcia

An award-winning film by university colleagues of mine that incorporates integral psychology and transcultural wisdom and spirituality. The film correctly posits that an evolutionary shift in human consciousness is required before today’s global crises can be effectively and deeply addressed. It has been well-received worldwide

SÃO PAULO: October 29^th
BELO HORIZONTE: November 13^th
RECIFE: November 13^th
NATAL: November 18^th
RIO DE JANEIRO: November 27^th
BRASILIA: December 1^st and 15^th
I’ll review the film when it returns to the States.
It is an achievement that should be seen by everyone

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books/Films from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

October 20, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 21, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 21, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
The Bobby Bones Show: various including TN and NJ
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 members in Pasadena
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

Understanding Our Inherent
Resistance to Recovery

Resistance to recovery is common among people with social and performance anxiety. They deeply desire emotional stability, but psychological and physiological resistance can make that goal difficult to attain.

When we resist, we avoid, deny, project, and reject, shutting ourselves off from new opportunities. True recovery requires us to understand and overcome our resistance to change and take steps to implement it.

Physiological Resistance

We often think of resistance as purely emotional, but our brain’s metabolism plays a major role. Our brain’s inertia naturally resists change, and our basal ganglia make it hard to modify established behaviors. The basal ganglia are a group of brain structures that play a role in learning and emotional processing. Their resistance is why breaking habits—whether negative ones like smoking or positive ones like recovery—is so challenging.

Psychological Resistance

Psychologically, our inherent negativity bias leads us to focus more on negative expectations than positive ones, which can result in self-sabotage and inaction.

Negativity bias is the tendency to pay more attention to and give greater weight to negative experiences and information. Early civilizations lived in environments filled with dangers that posed immediate threats to life and limb. Quickly identifying and responding to negative stimuli was a crucial survival advantage.

Over time, this heightened sensitivity to negative events became ingrained in our automatic responses. We tend to respond more to experiential fears than to positive or neutral ones.

Established Failures

Our experience of failure, real or perceived, further fuels our resistance. A major symptom of social and performance anxiety is the expectation of adverse outcomes, coupled with an awareness of past inadequacy. We convince ourselves that nothing has worked before, and our learned hopelessness reinforces that belief.

So, what is the point, we ask ourselves.

How do we learn if we resist learning? How do we change if our fear of change is so overwhelming that we refuse to consider the possibility of healing?

The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Consider the inner turmoil of the self-saboteur, who undermines their own recovery. This pattern is both learned and deeply destructive, reinforcing our doubts and disrupting our progress.

Let me give you a personal example.

As a young actor, I was on the Hollywood fast track. I failed my audition for The Young and the Restless because the competition intimidated me. When my agent secretly set me up with Norman Lear, who was looking for writers, I fled the meeting, thinking my presence was a mistake. I blew my audition for a major film because I was crashing from speed, and I alienated William Friedkin during a drunken lunch at Musso & Frank’s. I even had the honor of being ‘escorted’ off the Paramount lot.

I could go on, but you get the gist. I squandered every opportunity because my social anxiety made me believe I was a waste of space and destined for failure. I was a consummate self-saboteur. A self-saboteur engages in behaviors that invite failure and hinder success.

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Nietzsche

In his book Beyond Good and Evil, Nietzsche wrote that “man is his own worst enemy because he has no other choice,” arguing that we are solely responsible for our actions and cannot blame external factors for our shortcomings. This view ignores our ingrained physiological resistance, our environment, and our childhood experiences, while denying us the choice to change our actions.

We can choose how we respond to challenges. We can choose emotional well-being and quality of life. The ability to choose wisely is the unshakeable gift that shapes our lives and guides our recovery.

Victimization

The term “suffer” is often used to describe our experience with social and performance anxiety. Phrases like “I suffer from social anxiety” are common, but they stem from a misunderstanding. The word “suffer” implies that we have no control over our condition, which is a flawed assumption.

Remember that our condition isn’t a life sentence; it is a challenge we can overcome with the right mindset and proactive steps.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a subjective expectation that shapes our behavior and often leads to the negative outcome we anticipate. When we expect the worst in social and performance situations, we set ourselves up for failure. We anticipate criticism or rejection, worry about embarrassing ourselves, and expect unpleasant consequences.

This self-destructive outlook leads us to lose heart and avoid steps that could yield more constructive outcomes.

Negative self-talk clearly reveals this pattern. Automatic negative thoughts such as “I’ll say something stupid,” “I’m not attractive enough,” “I’m not interesting,” and “I’m not good enough” reinforce our expectations of rejection and failure.

These harmful self-fulfilling beliefs have serious consequences. We avoid social interactions, shy away from closeness, criticize ourselves, and miss opportunities to build relationships.

By adjusting our expectations toward positive outcomes, we break free from the cycle of self-victimization. Instead of seeing ourselves as powerless and destined to fail, we recognize our innate capacity to transform.

This shift in perspective helps us move beyond self-defeating patterns and adopt a mindset that recognizes our true worth and potential.

When we project healthy, productive outcomes, we motivate ourselves to take the steps needed to turn those optimistic predictions into reality. This proactive approach builds confidence and resilience, empowering us to pursue our goals and create a more fulfilling life.

By focusing on positive possibilities, we create opportunities for personal growth and success rather than reinforcing negative expectations.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

_____________________________________________________

Book Review

LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET

By Ranier Maria Rilke

I typically review books by colleagues and supporters. A student in one of our workshops shared that Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet profoundly supported many of the primary objectives of her recovery; thus, I include it here. This collection of ten letters, written to an aspiring young writer in 1929, offers a masterful reflection on Socratic reasoning and self-awareness.

Rilke’s concise, 33-page treatise offers guidance on living a meaningful and authentic life.

People experiencing social and performance anxiety are highly susceptible to criticism and evaluation by others.

Rilke advises us to explore our inner life and experiences rather than seek external validation, so we can develop and accept our own voice and connect authentically with others and the world.

He discourages reliance on criticism or public opinion. He encourages us to introspect and journal our thoughts and desires to ensure our expressions and beliefs are genuine, rather than simply adopting others’ thoughts and opinions.

He stresses that we must fully live and understand our experiences to express ourselves reliably and genuinely, and to draw inspiration from lived experience, nature, healthy relationships, and self-introspection. He believes we must recognize that all aspects of our life contribute to who we are and who we can become.

Rilke encourages us to embrace life’s uncertainties and cultivate resilience as we seek meaning. Our personal growth is inextricably linked to our experiences. Letters to a Young Poet is a timeless guide for anyone seeking insight into creativity, self-understanding, and the human condition.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

Neuroplasticity for Emotional Well-Being

October 13, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

My Guest Post for
Wild-Ink Publishing

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Neuroplasticity for Emotional Well-Being – Wild Ink Publishing

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 16, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
The Bobby Bones Show: various including TN and NJ
November 10, 2026: 1952 members in Pasadena
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

Neuroplasticity for Emotional Well-Being

One of the most important recovery objectives, as promoted in A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, is the client’s understanding and use of self-directed neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity restructures our neural networks through rapid, deliberate positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.

Not only does neuroplasticity dramatically benefit individuals experiencing social anxiety and depression, but it is also a game changer for anyone who wishes to improve their emotional awareness and regulation. We each have the inherent ability to shape our neural network, giving us responsibility for our psychological well-being and quality of life.

Understanding Neuroplasticity

Human neuroplasticity is our brain’s continual adaptation to information and experience. By deliberately inputting positive information, we compel our neural network to offset decades of negative data. Through our deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of positive information, we replace unproductive and negative mindsets with new skills and abilities, actively shaping our cognitive landscape.

Positive neurological input helps our brain shift from a harmful state to a healthy one. Neurons work through interconnected circuits that strengthen or weaken based on electrical activity.

Neuroplasticity promotes growth in key neural areas, including the insula, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex, regions that support memory, learning, empathy, self-awareness, and stress management. Neural circuits are like muscles: the more we use them, the stronger they become.

Human neuroplasticity comes in three forms.

Reactive neuroplasticity occurs when our brain automatically detects or registers external stimuli, such as a car alarm, a sudden weather change, or the smell of baked goods. External stimuli that we don’t notice or react to are neurally insignificant and don’t trigger a response.

Active neuroplasticity, as we define it, happens through deliberate activities such as journaling, practicing yoga, and other meaningful pursuits. It thrives not only through positive, creative endeavors but also through the contributions we make to others and society.

Engaging in selfless activities promotes the positive rebuilding of our neural networks. Random acts of kindness, caring for the unfortunate, and volunteering highlight the essential role of social cooperation in personal growth and positive neural activity.

Caring for ourselves and others is essential for healthy emotional development.

Proactive neuroplasticity involves intentionally and repeatedly providing our brain with positive data through DRNI, the Deliberate, Repetitive Neural Input of positive information to counteract the toxic information we have acquired over the years. By consistently introducing healthy, productive thoughts, we strengthen our neural pathways and transform harmful habits into healthy, constructive ones.

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Benefits of Neuroplasticity

Moreover, neuroplasticity helps rebuild self-esteem by enhancing emotion regulation, the process by which we manage and respond constructively to our experiences.

BDNF and Long-Term Potentiation

Neuroplasticity triggers the production of the BDNF gene (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), which produces proteins essential for improved cognitive functioning. It also activates Long-term potentiation (LTP), which is the persistent strengthening of synapses between neurons, a primary cellular mechanism underlying learning and memory.

Moreover, neuroplasticity helps rebuild self-esteem by enhancing emotion regulation, the process by which we manage and respond constructively to our experiences.

Chemical Hormones

Neuroplasticity releases chemical hormones linked to learning and motivation while reducing the severity of our fear- and anxiety-provoking hormones.

To date, scientists have identified over fifty chemical hormones in the human body that maintain our metabolism, homeostasis, and reproduction.

The precise distribution of these hormones is essential. Small fluctuations can significantly affect both physical health and emotional well-being. This highlights the importance of positive stimuli to prompt our brains to release hormones that help us function optimally.

Our reactions to stress, including the fight-or-flight response, are common human experiences. The “fight” response immediately confronts the danger, while the “flight” response tries to escape.

Other recently identified stress responses include “freeze,” which causes emotional paralysis; “fawn,” which leads us to ingratiate ourselves; and “flop,” which makes us shut down completely.

Neural Reciprocity

Every time we deliberately expose our brains to positive stimuli, multiple relay neurons amplify that information and forward it to millions of participating neurons. This affirms the enormous value of positive information.

The Essential Role of Repetition

One of the most productive ways to promote neuroplasticity is through DRNI. By consistently introducing healthy, productive thoughts, behaviors, and experiences, we strengthen our neural pathways and transform harmful habits into healthy, constructive ones.

When the brain first encounters new information, it forms weak neural links; repetition is indispensable for learning and recovery, as it strengthens these connections and moves knowledge from short-term to long-term memory.

Constructing Our Neural Information

The most productive information is tailored to our personal objective. What is our ultimate purpose?

Are we confronting negative thoughts and behaviors associated with social anxiety, or are we focusing on a particular challenge or milestone? Clearly defined goals keep us on track and support our progress.

Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations (PAs) are self-affirming statements we repeat to ourselves that describe who we aspire to be. PAs stimulate brain regions involved in emotional processing and realignment, producing substantial changes in our mental landscape.

Many underestimate the power of PAs because they are dismissed as outdated, silly, and ineffective. Notwithstanding, scientific research provides concrete evidence of their capacity to drive positive change.

Key Criteria

The effectiveness of personal affirmations lies not in their complexity but in consistent, authentic application. The most impactful PAs follow seven key criteria.

RATIONAL AND REASONABLE. Setting sensible and achievable expectations is crucial for success. For instance, stating, “I will publish my first novel,” isn’t reasonable if we can’t read or write. By choosing realistic affirmations, we create viable neural input.
FIRST-PERSON PRESENT OR FUTURE TENSE. Recovery unfolds in the present and shapes the future. Affirmations should convey immediacy and personal ownership, using statements like “I am desirable” or “I have the willpower to succeed.” Future-oriented affirmations, such as “I will succeed,” work equally well.
UNCONDITIONAL. Using conditional language such as “maybe” or “might” weakens the affirmation and fosters procrastination and avoidance. “Maybe I will start my diet” lacks the firm resolve needed for losing weight. Unconditional affirmations consolidate our commitment.
P0SITIVE. We avoid words that reinforce negativity. Instead of saying, “I won’t be afraid,” try, “I will be courageous.” Positive language is crucial.
GOAL-FOCUSED. Effective PAs focus on attainable goals. Aspiring to quarterback for the NFL is an unachievable goal for most of us. Identify the goals that are most psychologically beneficial and reasonable.
CONCISE. Concise affirmations are easy to memorize and repeat, which is essential as our PAs evolve and adapt to the momentum of our recovery.

Think of PAs as personal transformative instruments—self-fulfilling prophecies capable of reshaping your neural pathways and counteracting negative mental patterns. The process is straightforward and powerful if we don’t overcomplicate or neglect it.

Although no amount of positivity can erase years of negative experiences, each intentional, repeated positive input gradually shifts our thoughts and behaviors, like grains of sand reshaping the landscape.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows us to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Contact me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will gladly send you a copy.

_____________________________________________________

Book Review

YOU’RE NOT ALONE
The Only Book You’ll Ever Need to
Overcome Anxiety and Depression

By Zachary David Westerbeck

The most important aspect of Westerbeck’s book is that it reassures you that you’re not the only one struggling with anxiety and depression. He emphasizes that the shame and guilt you feel only intensify the overwhelming reluctance to disclose your condition and seek help because you “feel like you’re the only one on the face of the planet dealing with these challenges.”

In his step-by-step guide, Westerbeck offers coping strategies to overcome anxiety and depression, promote calm and self-assurance, and help regain your confidence and self-esteem.

The book, geared toward youth and college-age students, offers practical advice for managing the anxiety-driven feelings of isolation and loneliness in someone who experiences intense anxiety and the fear of exposure.

Westerbeck makes his tools and techniques more identifiable by sharing his own story about how he overcame his firsthand experiences of anxiety and depression in the form of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

The author outlines how to regain control of your life by addressing the challenges of symptomatic stress and low self-esteem through coping strategies, shared compassion, and a healthy regimen of exercise, sleep, and self-evaluation. Included is an important chapter on managing social media, which only increases anxiety and depression among adolescents and college-aged students.

The author rightly claims that “bottling up unpleasant emotions like depression and anxiety only allows them to persist.”

I dispute his claim that this is the only book we’ll ever need to overcome anxiety and depression. Still, it is a very relatable book on methods of recovering from anxiety and depression, especially for young adults and college students, and it offers useful perspective rather than a complete solution.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

Breathing Lessons By Anne Tyler — Breathing Lessons

Essential Strategies For Social Anxiety By Allison McKleroy — Essential Strategies

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

The Astonishing Benefits of Recovery

October 6, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT.
October 16. 2026: 3,200 readers in London:
The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
Miles Bloxon: KUT 90.5 FM / KUTX 98.9 FM, TX
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
The Bobby Bones Show: various including TN and NJ
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

The Astonishing Benefits of Recovery

Recovery is a powerful, transformative force that turns what was into what might be. The ability to embrace change is central to recovery.

The amazing thing about recovery is that it begins the moment you decide to change. Recovery is exponential; learning accelerates and consolidates as you practice the tools and techniques. You become increasingly aware of your abilities, strengths and potential.

Let me illustrate what your recovery future holds for you.

Transformation

Quantum physics tells us that our consciousness influences the universe’s wave function, meaning we can change the world by wanting it to change. Thus, we can begin to transform simply by committing to it.

The person you are today is not the person you were yesterday. Your body is in constant change. You shed and replace 30-40 million skin cells every hour, and your neural network continually adjusts and adapts to your positive input.

Potential and Opportunity

The greatest reward of my life has been recognizing that each of my students can improve through their willpower. My greatest disappointment is that so few seize the opportunity.

You have embraced change and unlocked your potential for incredible growth. Your future is brimming with endless possibilities. You are a canvas painted with the bright colors of your evolution. You have always had the power to uplift the human spirit. Recovery harnesses that ability.

Static and Dynamic Paths

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes great courage and the self-awareness that you are valuable, important, and deserving of happiness.

When facing challenges or obstacles, it can be tempting to give up and admit defeat. However, as dynamic individuals, you remain focused and persevere until you reach your goals.

Resilience

Here is what happens as you recover. SAD’s deception and manipulation become obvious. As you actively work on your recovery, you demonstrate incredible resilience and determination, replacing your core belief of hopelessnes with optimism and seeing the impossible as achievable.

You overcome your helplessness through self-reliance, courage, and determination. Your confidence and reclaimed self-esteem make you approachable and desirable. You no longer feel worthless because you recognize that you are integral and consequential to everything.

You recognize that you are not useless, separate entities; you are interconnected with all things, the lifeblood of existence and the ultimate, dynamic, creative foundation of the universe.

Creativity and Growth

As human beings, you embody creativity. You have evolved through past events, and your experiences preserve and pass along the entire history of our universe. This ongoing act of creation is yet another example of your significance.

The Dynamic SAD Individual

As dynamic SAD individuals, you no longer confront your fears; instead of attacking them with hostility or competing with arrogance, you willingly and eagerly recognize them as challenges.

You once felt hopeless; you now recognize that you are an integral part of a community of caring individuals who share goals and aspirations. You support, uplift, and inspire because it is your nature. You’re motivated to help others flourish and succeed as you have.

Compassion and Empathy

The same innate sensitivity you reclaim through recovery fosters compassion and empathy. Your experiences of feeling uncomfortable, overlooked, or misunderstood prompt you to recognize these emotions in others. Because you are now managing your condition’s symptoms, you understand more deeply what others might be experiencing.

Your experiences with anxiety and social discomfort have given you a special ability to notice when others share similar feelings. You can sense when someone feels out of place, overwhelmed, or anxious—through a forced smile, fidgeting, or downcast eyes.

Your heightened sensitivity helps you read subtle cues in communication, allowing you to respond coherently and effectively. You recognize how gestures, postures, and facial expressions reveal emotions, fears, and desires.

Relationships and Self-Compassion

Reclaiming and rebuilding your self-esteem and reintegrating into society confirm your revitalized self-confidence and recognition of your worth and importance.

One result of your renewed self-esteem is self-compassion, a deep sense of awareness and kindness you naturally extend to others. As a compassionate social being, you are motivated to pay it forward by supporting and connecting with others.

You now understand the challenges of forming meaningful relationships. Years of loneliness and isolation have made the friendships and bonds you form run deep. As a result, you are especially sensitive and loyal to those who face similar struggles.

Preparedness and Conflict Resolution

Your recovery has sharpened your ability to plan and organize. Developing complex coping strategies and preparation skills has taught you to anticipate potential problems, formulate logical responses, and build structures that reduce uncertainty.

Whether organizing a small gathering or managing a complex project, you are becoming skilled at preparation and follow-through, noticing details and conflicts others might overlook.

Your conflict sensitivity motivates you to resolve disagreements calmly and effectively by seeking compromises and shared interests that promote mutual satisfaction. This proactive approach helps you handle situations with confidence and understanding.

The transformation you undergo while recovering from social and performance anxiety is truly remarkable.

________________________________________________________

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

Essential Strategies for Social Anxiety: Practical Techniques to Face Your Fears, Overcome Self-Doubt, and Thrive

By Alison McKleroy, MA, LMFT

Essential Strategies For Social Anxiety by Alison McKleroy — Essential Strategies

Full disclosure: I am uncomfortable with someone who calls themselves a cognitive behavioral therapist because I find the label reductive. CBT is only one approach to recovery and therapy. A comprehensive recovery program must include positive psychology, neuro-plasticity, self-esteem approaches, and other clinical and personalized strategies.

In fairness, author McKleroy does not limit her methodology to CBT; she includes well-organized, extensive presentations of exposure therapy and acceptance and commitment therapy, both of which are CBT-related. Her work has been featured in major media outlets, including VeryWellMind, PsychCentral, Medical News Today, and Woman’s World.

Essential Strategies for Social Anxiety covers a wide range of viable territory for recovery, including Socratic questioning, goal setting, mindfulness and meditation, gratitude, communication skills, practical exercises, and clinical examples

I am often asked why I review books that may conflict with selling my own. Comparable books on social and performance anxiety present innovative concepts and interpretations, and recovery practitioners should be given every opportunity to choose what works best for them.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

The Life and Creative Works of Paulo Coelho

_____________________________________________________

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Facebook
LinkedIn

Google
TikTok

Instagram
YouTube

_____________________________________________________

The Sky is Falling

September 29, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social Anxiety, UncategorizedAnxiety, Depression, Emotional well-being, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT.
October 15. 2026: 3,200 readers in London:
TBD: The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
TBD: KPBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

A special shout out to Abigail Wild for including my blog, Neuroplasticity for Emotional Well-Being on her website, Wild Ink Publishing, and to P.J. Gudka for her continued support.

_____________________________________________________

The Sky is Falling

Cognitive distortions act as self-sabotaging defenses that reinforce our irrational thoughts and behaviors. If we fail to understand why and how we use these mental shortcuts to justify our harmful thoughts and behaviors, we remain at a disadvantage, both cognitively and emotionally.

Without identifying the problem, we can’t know how or what to fix.

Overgeneralizing, jumping to conclusions, and catastrophizing are sequentially related. They are different manifestations of the same exaggerated, irrational thinking pattern.

To exaggerate is to represent things as larger, better, or worse than they really are.

Overgeneralizing, jumping to conclusions, and catastrophizing are forms of exaggeration. Their roots lie in our shared negativity bias—the human tendency to focus on potential adverse outcomes.

These three cognitive distortions illustrate an escalating chain of negative reactions to everyday events. They serve as the engine, the cars, and the caboose of our exaggerated responses. For example, after a failed job interview, we might overgeneralize the defeat as proof of our incompetence, jump to the conclusion that we will never find work, and catastrophize by believing we are doomed to a lifetime of failure.

Similarly, after a relationship ends, we may overgeneralize that our anxiety caused the breakup, conclude that all future relationships will suffer the same fate, and catastrophize that we will end up living alone, surrounded by multiple cats.

These three cognitive distortions are broad, self-sabotaging interpretations of our perceptual futility. Because the future appears depressing and lonely, these patterns of predetermining outcomes can significantly harm our emotional stability.

Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization occurs when we draw broad conclusions from a limited set of experiences. This is the belief that a few bad apples spoil the entire barrel. For instance, assuming that the neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because some teenagers in the neighborhood are delinquents is an overgeneralization based on a small, inadequate sample.

This distortion compels us to make exaggerated claims about individuals or situations without sufficient evidence. We allow one isolated experience to color our view of all similar experiences, even when circumstances differ greatly. This pattern of thinking leads to stereotyping—interpreting a single behavior as an unchanging pattern and unfairly labeling people. We then ignore evidence that contradicts our conclusion.

We do this to ourselves too, turning a single mishap or mistake into a life of calamity. Much like negative filtering, which focuses only on a current situation’s adversity, overgeneralization fuels our tendency to anticipate discouraging outcomes. For example, witnessing someone nearly drown can lead us to generalize that all bodies of water are dangerous.

Getting sick from eating sushi purchased at a gas station might prompt us to generalize that all Japanese food establishments are unhealthy.

Jumping to Conclusions

Our automatic negative thoughts can lead to overgeneralization and jumping to conclusions. For instance, feeling rejected at a social event may lead to thoughts such as “I am unlikable,” “I must be boring,” and “I’ll never have a meaningful relationship.”

For those experiencing performance anxiety, a poor presentation at work can lead to overgeneralizing that our job is at risk, especially if we know of similar mistakes leading to dismissals. We might then jump to the conclusion that we are next, catastrophizing that we will never find suitable employment again.

Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing takes overgeneralizing and jumping to conclusions a step further. When we catastrophize, we imagine the worst possible outcome from limited or faulty evidence. Expanding on our neighbor’s son for comparison, we might believe that he will harm us simply because he is a delinquent who listens to heavy metal.

The classic example is Chicken Little, who, after an acorn falls on her head, instantly assumes, “The sky is falling!” instead of considering more reasonable explanations.

Catastrophizing convinces us that the worst will happen and that the outcome is inevitable. If our partner has a bad week, we may assume our relationship is doomed and begin acting in ways that manifest our projection. A poor test grade can lead to the belief that we are failing the course, our future is destined for mediocrity, and we will end up living under a bridge.

Physical symptoms, like a migraine or stomachache, may lead us to conclude we have a brain tumor or appendicitis. Recognizing and confronting the self-sabotaging nature of these belief patterns is vital for regaining control over our lives and mental health.

Summary Examples: The Neighbor’s Son

Overgeneralization: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because many teenagers in our neighborhood are delinquents.

Jumping to Conclusions: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he listens to heavy metal.

Catastrophizing: The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who listens to heavy metal.

Solutions

We have learned that cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational patterns of thought and behavior that contribute to our anxiety and depression. Just because a few individuals in an organization are corrupt does not mean the entire group is unscrupulous.

An angry roommate slamming the bedroom door does not necessarily imply that we are the target of their anger. A bad job interview does not mean we will never find employment or end up destitute.

These thought patterns are based on negative assumptions, not facts. It is irrational and harmful to form opinions or make decisions without solid evidence. Staying vigilant is essential, as cognitive distortions reinforce our warped thoughts and behaviors.

Examining and analyzing why we predict adverse outcomes is a crucial tool for combating these distortions. By assessing situations and considering alternative, plausible explanations, we learn to respond rationally rather than purely emotionally.

Cognitive distortions are more likely to surface during times of stress or fatigue. Practicing basic self-care, such as getting sufficient sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising, helps maintain emotional balance. By prioritizing self-care, we become better equipped to manage unproductive thoughts and emotions.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

Cognitive Behavior Therapy:
Basics and Beyond

By Judith S. Beck. Ph.D.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy By Judith S. Beck Review — Cognitive BehaviorTherapy

Judith S. Beck, PhD, continues to develop and expand the cognitive-behavior therapy that her father, Aaron T. Beck, pioneered in the late 60s. Her three editions of Cognitive Behavior Therapy: Basics and Beyond are written for students, practitioners, and CBT novices. Clinical Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry, Beck is the President of the Beck Institute for Cognitive Behavior Therapy.

This is the third edition of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. Basics and Beyond. Not only does it contain transcripts, Socratic questioning, exercises, and recovery tips, but it also includes extended cases of two clients: one with severe depression and another with depression, anxiety, and borderline personality traits.

Although many clinicians rely primarily on CBT, it is only one component of a comprehensive recovery program for social anxiety and its comorbidities. Like the three waves of positive psychology, neuroplasticity, and methods for reclaiming and rebuilding self-esteem, individuals in a recovery program are better served by understanding the basic intricacies of their therapeutic approach. No one is a better and more knowledgeable proponent of CBT than Judith Beck.

Beck addresses the core and more contemporary elements of CBT while incorporating positive psychology traits such as character strengths, virtues, attributes, and potential. Focusing on the importance of the therapeutic relationship, she weaves in strategies from other approaches, such as acceptance and commitment therapy, dialectical behavior therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, and recovery-oriented cognitive therapy.

What is most admirable about Beck’s writing is how she breaks down the nature, scope, structure, and strengths of CBT and its relationship to other approaches in an easily comprehensible and detailed manual that is accessible to the average reader interested in recovery.

This book is a must-read for anyone who wants to understand what drives them and how to solve problems to regain emotional well-being and quality of life.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

Online Workshops For Social Anxiety With Dr. Robert F. Mullen | ReChanneling

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Events and Reviews

September 22, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Motivational Speakers, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-ImprovementRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

IN GRATITUDE

Gratitude is the recognition and appreciation of positive outcomes in one’s life, acknowledging that these benefits come from sources outside oneself. Those sources include colleagues and readers who have kindly provided reviews and testimonials. It also includes those groups, institutions, and media representatives who have invited me to discuss the book with employees and members.

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October15. 2026: 3,200 readers in London:
TBD: The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
TBD: KPBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

_____________________________________________________

Reviews and Testimonials

“WHAT STOOD out most is the book’s emphasis on lived experience combined with actionable recovery tools. The framing of social anxiety as something that can be actively challenged, rather than simply analyzed, gives the work a clear sense of direction and accessibility for readers, who are looking for real change… The idea of negative self-beliefs as deeply rooted weeds, and recovery as a process of consistent, hands-on cultivation, translates complex emotional work into something visually and emotionally intuitive.” – SCARLETT MACK

A SURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety is one of those books that feels less like a traditional self help manual and more like someone sitting down and saying, “I understand what this feels like, and here are some practical ways forward.”

What stood out to me most was the author’s decision to approach social anxiety from lived experience rather than relying entirely on clinical explanations. Robert F. Mullen draws from his own struggles while presenting ideas in a straightforward and accessible way. The book does not make recovery sound effortless or promise a quick fix. Instead, it emphasizes taking responsibility, challenging destructive thought patterns, building healthier habits, and gradually becoming more comfortable with situations that anxiety encourages us to avoid.

I particularly appreciated the practical nature of the book. The journaling exercises and activities give the reader an opportunity to stop simply reading about recovery and actually work with the ideas. That makes the book feel useful beyond the moment of reading it.

Another strength is the way complex emotional experiences are made easier to understand through relatable concepts and examples. The discussion of self sabotage, negative beliefs, shame, cognitive distortions, neuroplasticity, boundaries, and rebuilding confidence gives the book considerable depth without making it feel like an academic textbook.

What I found especially refreshing is the honesty of the message. Recovery is presented as a process that requires patience and consistent effort. There is encouragement, but there is also realism. That balance makes the advice feel much more trustworthy.

Overall, this is a thoughtful and practical book for anyone who wants to better understand social anxiety and take meaningful steps toward changing the patterns that keep them stuck. It is also valuable for readers who want to understand what living with social anxiety can actually look like from the perspective of someone who has experienced it firsthand.

A compassionate, honest, and practical read that I would recommend to anyone looking for a more grounded approach to overcoming social anxiety.” – EVELYN WOLFF

“ROBERTS book was incredible and stood up to the praise I have heard from others who have benefited from his work. They also said they found it truly engaging in the same way that mine drew them in. That to me was enough to get my attention as it’s always nice to know what exactly people mean by that. I started reading his book just to get a sense of it, and it drew me in right away by his personal sharing of his heart and story with so many wonderful anecdotes of others along with his own.

I couldn’t put it down; hearing about his trials and tribulations and the fact that he even went back to school to get his PhD was impressive and reminded me of the many hours of schooling and certifications I have, finding different approaches to meeting my clients’ needs. He defines the many ways SAD shows up with definitions of each issue, whether it’s intrusive thoughts, anxiety, depression, compulsive disorders, and not only explains them but offers tried and true methods to heal each one, always reminding you it’s your choice to change IF YOU WANT to.

His vulnerability and healthy ways of combating issues by replacing the negative self talk with affirmations, meditation, etc., utilizing the power of neuroplasticity and breaking down the concepts in easily digestible ways to put you in the driver’s seat of your life is admirable as is his raw, open truth of where he was heading was heart-rending.

This really pulled at my heartstrings:

Consider the inner turmoil of the self-saboteur, who undermines their recovery. This pattern is both learned and deeply destructive. It reinforces our doubts and disrupts our progress. I will give you a personal example. I was on the Hollywood fast track. I failed my audition for The Young and the Restless because the competition intimidated me. When my agent secretly set me up with Norman Lear, who was looking for writers. I fled the meeting, thinking my presence was a mistake. I blew my audition for a film with Bette Davis because I was crashing from speed, and I alienated William Friedkin during a drunken lunch at Musso & Frank’s. I even had the honor of being ‘escorted’ off the Paramount lot. And let’s not forget my Dating Game disaster. I could go on and on, but you get the gist. I share these experiences as evidence of the many opportunities I squandered because my social anxiety persuaded me that I was a waste of space and destined for failure. I was a consummate self-saboteur. Self-saboteurs engage in behaviors that invite failure and hinder success. Nietzsche observed, “Man is his own worst enemy because he has no other choice[16].” But we do have choices. We can choose how we respond to challenges. We can choose to be healthy and happy. The ability to choose wisely is the unshakeable gift that shapes our lives and guides our recovery.

If you want a book to change your life and are up for the work, I would highly recommend this book. I know personally others have benefited from his work, gotten their life back, and no longer suffer from SAD! There is no better way to learn than from someone who’s been in the trenches, done the work, and knows what it takes to get there. He draws from vast, cutting-edge knowledge, and if you are truly ready to roll up your sleeves and want a different outcome in your life, this book is for you!” – CINDY GEORGAKAS, author of Re-Create & Celebrate and Celebrating Poetry.

“A LOT OF BOOKS on anxiety and depression stay clinical or overly theoretical, but this guide carries something far more personal and grounded. [The] practical lived-experience framework is remarkable. Highly recommended for anyone not living up to their full potential.” – MATTY SAVEN

“I WAS EXPECIALLY DRAWN to the way you present recovery as something active and personal, rather than simply explaining the problem, and to the image of an overgrown garden where deeply rooted negative beliefs have to be gradually removed and replaced with something healthier.

What I find meaningful is the book’s focus on helping readers interrupt negative thought patterns, rebuild trust in themselves, and take practical steps toward reconnecting with life. There is something encouraging about a guide that does not pretend recovery is effortless, but gives people tools they can actually work with. I believe that combination of lived experience and professional understanding gives your book the potential to reach many more readers who may be looking for a straightforward and compassionate way forward.” – ANNE TYLER, Pulitzer Prize Winner for Breathing Less.

“BY TRANSLATING negative self-beliefs into something that can be observed, identified, and actively addressed, the book creates a practical bridge between understanding and action … The idea that recovery requires active engagement with tools, habits, and behavioral change reflects a grounded understanding of how social anxiety persists and how it can be meaningfully challenged over time.” – KAELANI REESE WHITMORE

“MOST SOCIAL anxiety books are written by clinicians who studied the condition. Yours was written by someone who lived inside it long enough to know exactly how it lies to you. Your “progression from patient to pioneer gives the book an authority that no amount of research alone could produce.” – ELIZABETH HELP

“THIS IS ONE of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P.J. GUDKA, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

“A AURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety* is a thoughtful and practical guide that approaches social anxiety from a very human perspective. What stood out to me most was Robert F. Mullen’s ability to combine his own lived experience with practical tools that readers can actually understand and apply. Rather than simply explaining social anxiety, he helps readers recognize patterns such as automatic negative thoughts and cognitive distortions and gives them concrete ways to respond differently.

I particularly appreciated the emphasis on deliberate, repetitive neural input and the idea that recovery is built through consistent, intentional practice rather than expecting one positive experience to change everything. The Character Resume and Fear Situation Plan also make the book feel genuinely useful, giving readers something practical to work with rather than leaving them with general encouragement. Mullen’s honesty about his own struggles and setbacks gives the book an authenticity that makes the advice feel much more personal. Overall, I found this to be an accessible and encouraging resource for anyone trying to better understand social anxiety and take practical steps toward recovery.” – SHARON AUERBACK

“A SURVIVOR’S Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety offers a practical and experience-informed look at social anxiety and the patterns that can keep people stuck. The book explores cognitive distortions, negative self-beliefs, avoidance, shame, confidence, and the possibility of changing deeply established habits. What makes the approach compelling is its focus on applying these ideas rather than simply understanding them. Mullen brings a personal perspective to a subject that is often difficult to discuss openly, while encouraging readers to challenge limiting patterns and take meaningful steps toward greater confidence and engagement with life. A worthwhile resource for readers seeking a practical perspective on recovery.” – ASHLEY MARIE

“DR. MULLEN’S no-nonsense approach to social anxiety recovery combines personal resilience with actionable neuroplasticity techniques, offering a practical, accountability-based framework that any CEO or solopreneur struggling with social situations can implement. This book moves beyond therapy-speak to deliver concrete tools: from character strength inventories to fear-situation plans, backed by research and genuine expertise earned through decades of helping others reclaim their confidence. It is 437 pages, but it is solid.” – SIERRA MELCHER, author of TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation.

“I LOVE how this book focused on both useful exercises for the reader as well as the author’s own personal experiences. As someone with both social anxiety and GAD, I found this book to be super helpful and insightful. However, the exercises are very generic, and you don’t even need to have social anxiety to do them. Again, I enjoyed that the author was someone who also has anxiety, so he was very knowledgeable and empathic toward the readers of this book. Overall, I do recommend this book to others who do struggle with social anxiety (but if you have GAD, these exercises would also benefit you as well.” – BELLA

“A LOT of books in this space stay clinical or overly theoretical, but your “What makes this book genuinely valuable is that you are writing from the far side of the exact thing you are teaching people to overcome … That combination, lived experience paired with a genuine clinical framework in proactive neuroplasticity and DRNI, is rare in this category, where most authors write from either pure personal story or pure academic theory, but not both at once.” – CHRISTIANA JAMES

“THE MANUSCRIPT carries something far more personal and grounded. The way you connect childhood trauma, cognitive distortions, shame, self-sabotage, neuroplasticity, and recovery into a practical, lived experience.” – LISA BRANDON

“THE FACT that this isn’t written from a purely academic perspective, but from someone who personally experienced severe social anxiety and fought through it, combined with your practical “overgrown garden” approach to uprooting negative self-beliefs and building healthier patterns, is exactly the kind of guidance that deserves a real audience.” – AURORA WILLOW

“WHAT I FOUND that I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience… [It] gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – JAMES BLACKSTONE

“I AM SIMPLY in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – JANICE PARKER, PHD

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows us to email a PDF copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Contact me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

______________________________________________________

Rechanneling Social Anxiety Workshops 2027 Online Dr. Robert F. Mullen

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) reduce symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives — harnessing our natural ability for extraordinary living. Our core approach focuses on personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, using neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and techniques to rebuild self-esteem. All donations go toward scholarships for groups and workshops.

Devising Rational Coping Statements

September 15, 2026Coping Mechanisms, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorder, Speaking EngagementsRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD: 3,200 readers in London
TBD: The Bay, hosted by Mina Kim; KQED 88.5 FM, San Francisco

_____________________________________________________

Devising Rational Coping Statements

Coping mechanisms are tools that enable us to manage our emotions, alleviate anxiety, and navigate stress. They encompass a wide range of strategies, from learned skills like distractions and visualization to natural responses such as hiking or listening to music.

Cognitive coping mechanisms enable us to craft rational responses to irrational thoughts, while behavioral coping mechanisms equip us with the means to adjust our actions.

Among the many coping mechanisms, three stand out for their effectiveness in situations where we anticipate fear—that is, those scheduled in advance that we project will trigger stress and anxiety. These can be single events, such as a job interview or a social gathering, or recurring ones, like a daily or weekly class or work environment.

In contrast, unexpected situations catch us off guard, bringing stress-provoking incidents like a plumbing failure, an unexpected guest, or missing house keys.

Three Effective Coping Mechanisms

Three effective coping mechanisms are grounding, which involves redirecting our anxiety into present-moment awareness; cognitive reframing, where we consciously choose to see a circumstance in a more positive light; and rational coping statements, which are logical, self-affirming statements aimed at counteracting automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that arise in fear situations.

Once we have learned and practiced the nuances of cognitive reframing and grounding, we can apply them almost spontaneously, during any fear situation. On the other hand, rational coping statements are most effective when explicitly prepared for an anticipated fear situation.

This writing outlines the process of devising rational coping statements in anticipation of fear-inducing situations. Cognitive reframing and grounding will be covered in the following weeks.

Automatic Negative Thoughts

Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), also called negative automatic thoughts (NATs), are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking thoughts that pop into our heads when we are in a fear-inducing situation.

ANTs are irrational assumptions rooted in our negative core and intermediate beliefs, as well as the self-defeating symptoms of our condition. For example, automatic negative thinking during a fear situation might include phrases such as, ‘I will be rejected,’ ‘No one will talk to me,’ ‘I don’t belong here,’ and ‘I am not undesirable.’

By challenging these ANTs with reason and positive self-validation, we can regain control and prevent them from dictating our actions. This is the power of rational coping statements.

Rational Coping Statements

Rational coping statements are logical, self-affirming responses to our situational fears, anxieties, and automatic negative thoughts. For instance, if we are afraid of rejection, a rational coping statement might be, ‘I belong here as much as anyone,’ ‘I am valuable and significant,’ or ‘I am approachable and likeable.’

These statements are designed to directly counteract the negative thoughts and feelings provoked by our negative self-appraisal. Essentially, they are provisional, positive personal affirmations designed for anticipated fear situations.

Rational coping statements are accurate, self-affirming responses to our unreasonable, self-defeating thoughts. Remember, our fears and anxieties are not real. They may feel real, but that is a cognitive distortion called emotional reasoning, which involves forming judgments and decisions based solely on our emotions, disregarding evidence to the contrary.

Anxiety is an abstraction; it has no power on its own. We create and feed it, making it real and giving it strength and power.

The first step in managing our ANTs is to recognize that our fears are not based on facts, but assumptions rooted in our past experiences, imagination, and reactions to perceived threats. A horror flick may stimulate our terrors, but they are alleviated once we leave the movie house. The power of our trepidations lies in our acceptance of them as reality rather than perception.

It’s not the fears that adversely impact our emotional well-being; it’s the things we do to avoid them. Our goal in recovery is to eliminate the anxiety responsible for the expression of the ANT by examining and analyzing its causes. Since the fear is irrational, logic dictates that the corresponding ANT is also. Thoughts such as ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am not welcome’ are subjective projections.

The following strategy is designed to help us develop rational coping statements to counteract our ANTs.

Steps to Devising Rational Coping Statements

Identify Our Fear Situation
Identify Our Associated Fear(s)
Unmask Our Corresponding ANT(s)
Examine and Analyze the Cause(s) of Our Associated Fear(s) and Corresponding ANT(s)
Generate Rational Coping Statements

Fear Situation

First, we identify the anticipated fear situations that provoke our fears. Where do we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we engaged in, and what thoughts arise? Is it a networking event, speaking in front of the class, a social engagement, a family dinner, or a trip to the public swimming pool? They’re different for everyone. Most of us have multiple fear situations.

Associated Fears

Next, we unpack the actual fears associated with the fear situation. What is problematic for me during this fear situation? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What activities are we engaging in? What is being said? What’s the worst outcome we project happening? What might occur?

Corresponding ANTs.

Then, we unmask our corresponding ANTs. What do we tell ourselves when triggered? How do we perceive ourselves in these moments? What are our self-defeating responses to these triggers?

Examine and Analyze Our Associated Fears and Corresponding ANTS

We know our fears and ANTs are irrational and self-destructive reflections of our negative self-appraisal. By examining and analyzing the reasons behind them, we view them in the context of the situation. Are they practical? Are they real or false assumptions? How would a confident, self-assured individual respond to them?

Devise Rational Coping Statements

Finally, we devise our rational coping statements. This is a relatively simple process. We respond to our irrational, automatic negative thoughts by devising reasonable, logical, self-supporting, and empowering statements.

Eventually, we will confront our fear situation in real life. This happens once we have resolved and practiced steps 1-5, and after a suitable period of graded exposure. i.e., gradually reducing the intensity of our fears and anxieties in a workshop environment and through external exercises.

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

______________________________________________________

Register for our January 2027 Workshops

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

Breathing Lessons

By Anne Tyler

A Pulitzer Prize-winning novel does not suffer from a lack of reviews. When Anne Tyler initiated a conversation about my book, I was dismayed to learn how little I knew of her work. I was majoring in philosophy and religion in 1989, when she won the Pulitzer, and I didn’t have the time or resources to read fiction. However, I did see The Accidental Tourist, the acclaimed film of one of her earlier works of fiction.

Anne Tyler has written 20 books, including Breathing Lessons, which is so astoundingly perceptive, comic, and real that I had to bring it to the attention of any reader asleep in the 80s.

A middle-aged Baltimore couple attends the funeral of the wife’s friend. Her husband is less than responsive, but they have been a committed couple for decades, creating a very American dysfunctional family.

Breathing Lessons explores marital relationships, old friendships, and the common discord that accompanies long-term intimate alliances.

The novel follows Maggie and Ira Moran, a middle-aged Baltimore couple, as they drive 90 miles to attend the funeral of the husband of Maggie’s best and oldest friend, Serena.

The banter and miscommunication among Tyler’s characters are both reassuring and uncomfortable. Because of their early separation, I don’t remember my parents’ bickering, but it is front and center and often quite humorous during the Morans’ car ride.

So, suspend your preconceptions about what constitutes a viable marriage, and dig deep to understand the love that underlies the intentionally insipid and consciously brilliant dialogue.

The book is engaging, astute, and often downright hilarious as it describes ordinary people’s lives on an ordinary day in ordinary situations. The dialogue initially seems mundane and picayune until you put yourself in the back seat of their car, filled with faded memories, wishful thinking, and real-life absurdity. Breathing Lessons is filled with brilliant character studies of average, middle-aged folks who have settled into their lives, for better or worse.

Breathing Lessons is a phenomenal character-driven book that brings readers into a day in the life of some very common people who turn out to be uncommon under the author’s impeccable direction and narrative. A must-read for anyone who demands honest dialogue, amusing anecdotes, and real people. The characters may seem like failures, but their relationships and experiences amount to much more.

Breathing Lessons is a brilliant, enjoyable ride.

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy By Judith D. Beck — Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

_____________________________________________________

Rechanneling.org by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts

September 9, 2026Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Automatic Negative Thoughts, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts — Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thouights

_____________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.) Amazon

Alternative Review Options

BookBub / Goodreads / Tertulia / Storygraph

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” P.J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.

To contribute to reader reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

_________________________________________________________

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts

Understanding how our belief system develops is essential to examining the negative path of social anxiety. This process begins with childhood susceptibility, which lays the foundation for our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

This susceptibility stems mainly from childhood disturbance, usually initiated by parental mishandling. However, genetics and the environment can also play a major role.

Our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interconnect through three main developmental patterns: core beliefs, intermediate beliefs, and automatic thoughts.

Core Beliefs

Core beliefs are deeply held attitudes formed in early childhood that shape how we perceive ourselves, the world, and others. They form the foundation of our belief system. When these rigid beliefs go unchallenged, we often accept them as absolute truths, even when evidence contradicts them.

Childhood Trauma

During early development, a child may encounter disturbances or trauma that disrupt physical, cognitive, emotional, or social growth. These events can be one-time or recurring, accidental or intentional, and may be real or imagined.

Regardless of their type, these experiences increase our vulnerability to social anxiety and other emotional difficulties.

Formation of Negative Core Beliefs

Traumatic childhood experiences can reshape core beliefs into negative ones, such as hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness, which Dr. Beck identifies as three primary negative beliefs.

This range of negative core beliefs can include feelings of abandonment, neglect, and being expendable, as well as inadequacy and other negative self-beliefs.

Importantly, it’s not the disturbance itself but the intensity of our reaction that determines the lasting impact on our belief system.

Unsatisfied Needs and Their Consequences

Healthy development depends on meeting essential needs such as adequate sleep, safety, parental protection, and a supportive environment. Trauma-driven negative core beliefs can undermine these fundamentals.

For instance, a child who experiences neglect or abuse may struggle to feel safe or loved, leading to low self-esteem.

We’ve identified this within Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, which shows how circumstances and events can hinder the fulfillment of basic needs and shape negative intermediate beliefs.

Intermediate Beliefs

Intermediate beliefs form during childhood and continue to develop as we grow. They are shaped by parents, caregivers, teachers, the environment, and personal experiences.

Negative core beliefs lead to negative intermediate beliefs, which, in turn, influence our perceptions, thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.

Intermediate beliefs connect core beliefs to automatic thoughts. Unlike core beliefs, they are adaptable and can change through learning, experience, and psychological growth. Intermediate beliefs shape our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.

Attitudes shape our feelings, behaviors, and beliefs, influencing how we evaluate people, issues, and relationships. Rules are the principles or guidelines we follow to support our attitudes, while assumptions are the decisions we make based on those rules.

Onset of Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) usually begins in early adolescence, although it can develop later as well.

For example, as a fearless ten-year-old searching for my father in the bars and tenements of Skid Row, I wasn’t yet affected by social anxiety. It was only the summer before high school, at age thirteen, that my social anxiety began to emerge, aligning with common statistical patterns.

Negative Self-Appraisal

We should now be familiar with how social anxiety imposes self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors that lead to our negative self-appraisal.

Situation

A situation is a set of circumstances, including facts, conditions, and events that affect us at specific times and places. A fear-related situation is one in which, through projection or experience, we anticipate potential triggers that could elicit fears related to the situation and the corresponding ANTs.

Identifying and Invalidating Automatic Negative Thoughts | Trajectory of Our ANTs

Figure: Trajectory of Our ANTs

Triggers

A trigger is any stimulus that elicits a specific emotional or behavioral response. Triggers can take many forms, but they often appear as sensory reminders—such as seeing, hearing, smelling, or tasting something that brings up a traumatic memory.

Triggers activate emotions, sensations, or feelings that manifest as automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTs)

There are three key situations in which we experience automatic negative thoughts. They occur during:

Intrusive Thoughts: Disturbing, repetitive thoughts and images that arise suddenly and without any apparent cause.
Anticipated Fear-Related Situations: Planned events we expect may provoke fear and anxiety.
Unexpected Fear-Related Situations: Events that catch us off guard and can provoke fear and anxiety.

Automatic negative thoughts are involuntary, immediate reactions to certain situations. These thoughts are usually irrational and self-defeating, stemming from negative core beliefs, reinforced by intermediate negative beliefs, and triggered by specific circumstances.

For example, someone consistently chosen last for school team sports may develop intermediate beliefs that they are unpopular and unlikable. These beliefs stem from core beliefs of incompetence and undesirability—self-evaluations that often operate below conscious awareness. The resulting automatic negative thoughts may include “I am lousy at sports” or “No one likes me.”

Jonathan

Let’s consider the hypothetical example of “Jonathan.” During his formative years, Jonathan developed core and intermediate beliefs about his own insignificance and undesirability, beliefs that stemmed from his parents’ lack of emotional support.

In his final year before starting high school, Jonathan began experiencing symptoms of social anxiety.

As Jonathan entered high school, these beliefs began to manifest in his social interactions. He struggled to make friends, which further reinforced his feelings of insignificance and undesirability. The lack of peer support confirmed to Jonathan that his negative self-beliefs were valid.

Jonathan’s struggles worsened when he couldn’t find a date for the junior prom. The experience subconsciously reminded him of lonely times from his childhood. As a result, going to the prom alone triggered automatic negative thoughts about his desirability and self-worth, reinforcing his cycle of emotional distress and self-doubt.

Modifying Thought Patterns

Thankfully, our negative thought patterns are modifiable. With clinically approved, evidence-based techniques such as CBT, positive psychology, neural restructuring, and other personalized strategies, we learn to replace automatic negative thoughts with self-affirming, productive alternatives.

This conscious effort to cultivate healthier thinking leads to significant improvements in our emotional well-being.

Carpe Diem

Although our ANTs may seem overwhelming, it is crucial to remember that we are not powerless against them. By recognizing and understanding our thoughts and deliberately challenging them with reason and objectivity, we can regain control of our mental processes and actions.

This approach helps us manage our thoughts more effectively and builds a stronger sense of capability in daily life.

Intrusive Thoughts

Not all thoughts stem from specific situations or unexpected events. Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant images, memories, or ideas that suddenly come to mind without a clear cause. These thoughts are usually strange, disturbing, repetitive, and hard to dismiss.

While they can sometimes be linked to stressful situations, they differ from automatic negative thoughts, which are reactions to events. Instead, intrusive thoughts often seem to appear out of nowhere, with no identifiable triggers.

The Nature of Intrusive Thoughts

It’s important to recognize that intrusive thoughts are common. They often involve disturbing or inappropriate images, such as violence, explicit sexual content, or socially unacceptable actions.

These thoughts do not reflect our true character; rather, they are dark fantasies that most people experience at some point in their lives.

Examples of intrusive thoughts include suddenly imagining swerving our car into a crowd, fantasizing about throwing someone out of an airplane at high altitude, considering shoplifting just to see if we can get away with it, or entertaining the idea of cheating on a dismissive partner.

These are common intrusive thoughts and experiencing them is normal.

Managing Intrusive Thoughts

Some intrusive thoughts can be difficult to manage. These may include repetitive thoughts that keep us awake at night or violent images that are hard to forget. What distinguishes intrusive thoughts from other kinds of thoughts, worries, ruminations, or desires is their unwanted and unexpected nature.

Often, these thoughts run contrary to our values and wishes and cause distress or disgust.

Intrusive thoughts can arise unexpectedly, such as when we’re showering or trying to sleep. In these cases, it helps to write down the thought or experience so we can explore and understand it later.

An effective way to handle intrusive thoughts is to recognize that they are normal and universal, then apply practiced coping techniques to redirect focus away from the activities they interfere with.

Techniques such as grounding, progressive muscle relaxation, and controlled breathing can help reduce intrusive thoughts by stimulating the vagus nerve.

______________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

October 14, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CN.
October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN.
TBD: 3,200 readers in London
December 12, 2026: Lakeshore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, IL

______________________________________________________

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 2nd

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

______________________________________________________

BOOK REVIEW

CELEBRATING POETRY.
A companion guide to Re-Create and Celebrate

By Cindy Georgakas

During my graduate years, I set poetry aside for dry, distant philosophers like Heidegger and Derrida, who eschew the elegiac and rhapsodic. However, my current vocation, working closely with people experiencing anxiety and depression, focuses on relearning how to confront and embrace the fears of emotionality.

Cindy Georgakas reinforces this universal quest for stability through her healing journeys, paired with the realism of embracing life as it happens. In many ways, Celebrating Poetry is a lyrical master class in emotional regulation – the process by which we evaluate and modify our emotional responses to achieve psychological balance.

“Eyes on the prize,
there will be detours,
I’m not going to lie.
Keep your focus,
just for today,
do what you say you will,
Strengthen that muscle,
for there is an end in sight.”

So much of Georgakas’ work, a companion guide to her earlier book, Re-Create and Celebrate, resonates with my efforts to restore emotional well-being and quality of life to the millions who experience anxiety and depression. In fluid and welcoming verse, Celebrating Poetry reads like a primer for recovery.

“We say goodbye to yesterday:
the toxic people in our lives.”

One of the most noticeable signs of anxiety is annihilating self-blame and guilt. People with social and performance anxiety often feel unjustifiably ashamed of their condition and of the unorthodox thoughts and behaviors associated with it. Georgakas reminds us:

“Yes, we are all broken:
cut yourself some slack,
get out your Gorilla Glue, be kind to you.”

Her broad and empathic vision includes mantras, affirmations, and neuroplasticity – methods utilized to reduce the fear of criticism, ridicule, and rejection that plague those afflicted with emotional turmoil.

“The mind is so insidious. We thrash our inner world to pieces,
judging, critiquing, berating ourselves to a bloody pulp.”

In my workshops, I tell clients that I lived with social anxiety disorder for the first thirty years of my life, and there is nothing their condition has led them to do or ponder that I haven’t thought about or done myself. In her lovely poem, “There is No Distance Between Hearts That Love,” the author writes:

“I know your stories, I know your desires, I know your
struggles, I know your purpose, I know your families,
I know your work, your trials and tribulations, your
ultimate highs and lows, your dreams and vision for a
better tomorrow.”

Georgakas speaks not only to those with emotional difficulties but to everyone who aspires to honesty and beauty, as most evident in the section titled “Step 4: CELEBRATE.” Through her uplifting reflections on aspiration, acceptance, growth, hope, love, and the seasons of life, she reveals herself as a wise and consummate storyteller in verse.

“Be nice to yourself and others.
Love yourself or no one else will.”

About Robert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

_____________________________________________________

Events

_____________________________________________________

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

DISSOCIATION

PROJECTION

Anxiety Projection

RATIONALIZATION

Deflecting Responsibility

Rationalization versus Lying

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

_____________________________________________________

REPRESSION, SUPPRESSION, REGRESSION

Repression

Suppression

Regression

________________________________________________________

Book Review

OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY STEP BY STEP

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

_____________________________________________________

Events

_____________________________________________________

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

AVOIDANCE

COMPENSATION

Social Anxiety and Perfectionism

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

DENIAL

DISPLACEMENT

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

_____________________________________________________

Book Review

DARKBIRCH ACADEMY 3: FIRE AND SHADOWS

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

_____________________________________________________

Fallacy of Fairnessand Heaven’s Reward

The Fallacy of Fairness

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

Unhealthy Motivations and Their Consequences

Reasonable Expectations

Fallacies in Relationships and the Workplace

________________________________________________________

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

_____________________________________________________

Film Review

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

_____________________________________________________

Other Recommended Books/Films from Clients and Colleagues

_____________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

_____________________________________________________

Upcoming Events

_____________________________________________________

Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

Physiological Resistance

Psychological Resistance

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Fallacy of Fairness
and Heaven’s Reward

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Understanding Our Inherent
Resistance to Recovery

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

My Guest Post for
Wild-Ink Publishing

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

YOU’RE NOT ALONE
The Only Book You’ll Ever Need to
Overcome Anxiety and Depression