Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

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The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.    

Be Good to Yourself

Self-esteem is mindfulness of our assets as well as our defects. We are dichotomous beings of goodness and frailty — evidence of our humanness. Social anxiety sustains itself by undervaluing the positive components of our humanness — our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. These are the qualities that constitute our self-esteem.

Self-esteem defines how we think about ourselves, how we think others perceive us, and how we process and present that information. Healthy self-esteem confirms that we are of value, consequential, and desirable. It is the realization of our responsible commitment to others, society, and the world.

Goal and Objectives

The primary goal of recovery from low self-esteem and related emotional malfunctions is the mitigation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We execute these goals through a three-pronged approach.

• Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
• Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
• Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.

Each objective regenerates our self-esteem.

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“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.

Regeneration

To regenerate means to renew or restore something damaged or underproduced. Because of the disruption in our optimal development due to factors that developed our social anxiety, many positive self-qualities that construct our self-esteem are latent or dormant – underdeveloped or suspended. 

These self-qualities (e.g., confidence, reliance, compassion, and other self-hyphenates) are not lost. Disruption interrupts productivity. It does not destroy it. Like stimulating the unexercised muscle in our arm or leg, we can regenerate our self-esteem.

The outcome of regenerating our self-esteem is the renewed mindfulness of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.

The inherent byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-appreciation. It is self-esteem paid forward. Consolidating our self-regard and realizing what we have to offer drives us to share our assets with others. 

Proactive Neuroplasticity

Proactive neuroplasticity is the most effective method of positive neural restructuring. We compel our brains to change their negative polarity to positive through the deliberate, repetitive neural input of information (DRNI). Our brain’s left hemisphere supports this activity – the analytical part responsible for rational thinking. 

While proactive neuroplasticity attends to the analytical, active neuroplasticity addresses the emotional, social, and spiritual. Proactive and active neuroplasticity complement each other. 

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Active Neuroplasticity

Active neuroplasticity replaces our self-destructive thoughts and behaviors while regenerating our self-esteem. Creating healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities also requires positive and repetitive neural input. Active neuroplasticity happens through intentional pursuits geared towards counteracting the years of adverse neural input. 

Beyond the synthetic and creative products of active neuroplasticity is our ethical and compassionate social behavior. 

Contributions to others and society are extraordinary assets to our recovery. The value of volunteering – providing support, empathy, and concern for those in need – is exceptional, not only in promoting positive behavioral change but also in our neural restructuring. The social interconnectedness established by caring augments the regeneration of our self-esteem and self-appreciation. 

We are Hopeful, Powerful, Desirable, and Worthwhile

In his extensive examination of anxiety and depression, Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, asserted that social anxiety generates feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. Until we commit to recovery, we continue to be guided by these destructive self-beliefs. 

Notwithstanding, in recovery, we realize helplessness as a perspective. We are not helpless unless we choose to be. Multiple resources are available to anyone with the motivation and commitment to recover.

We are not hopeless. Once we recognize the irrationality of our fears, we see them for what they are: powerless abstractions.

We are not undesirable. SAD compels us to view ourselves inaccurately. It reinforces or justifies our negative self-appraisal. Any assumption of undesirability is self-centered and irrational.

We are not worthless but integral and consequential to all things. We are unique in every aspect. There is no one like us. We are the totality of our experiences, beliefs, perceptions, demands, and desires with unique DNA, fingerprints, and outer ears. There has never been a human being with our sensibilities, memories, motivations, and dreams.

Self-Appreciation  

Self-appreciation is recognizing and enjoying what makes you feel good about yourself. It is mindfulness of the qualities of your regenerated self-esteem.

You have been beating yourself for no apparent reason. You are not responsible for the onset of your social anxiety. And you did not make it happen. It happened to you. Notwithstanding, while not accountable for the hand you have been dealt, you are responsible for how you play the cards you’re holding. 

Give yourself credit for making life-affirming changes. Recognize and appreciate all the positive things you accomplish daily. You are in charge of your emotional well-being and quality of life. You are responsible for the regeneration of your self-esteem.

The rediscovery of your value and significance drives you to pay it forward. Self-esteem is the catalyst for self-appreciation. In reciprocation, self-appreciation consolidates self-esteem. You take care of yourself to take care of others. You embrace your worth and potential to champion them in others. 

Healthy self-esteem realizes your value and potential and recognizes that you are necessary and of incomprehensible worth. By accepting yourself, warts and all, you open yourself to sharing your authenticity. 

To feel joy and fulfillment in self-being is the experience of self-esteem. Self-esteem is a prerequisite to appreciating others. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot love another. It is impossible to give away something unpossessed. 

Value Yourself

For every positive attempt or interaction, congratulate yourself. You are in recovery, which demands courage, commitment, and hard work. You deserve to experience the pride and satisfaction that complements such efforts fully. Reward yourself.

Take Care of Yourself

Finally, one of the most efficient and underrated ways to cultivate self-esteem and self-appreciation is through self-care.

Make Healthy Choices. Follow good health guidelines. Try to exercise at least 30 minutes a day. Eat healthily and moderately. Sleep distraction-less.

Do things you enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to do. Try to do something from that list every day. Be mindful that you are valuable, consequential, and unique. 

Spend time with people who make you happy. Don’t waste time on people who don’t treat you well. Set reasonable boundaries.

Use hopeful statements. Social anxiety compels us to project unsatisfactory outcomes. Challenge that thinking by focusing on the positive. Remember, it is unhealthy and irrational to choose adverse outcomes. Filter out negative projections.

Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. But mistakes aren’t permanent reflections on you as a person. They’re moments in time. Mistakes are evidence of our humanness.

Avoid negative words and statements. If your thoughts are full of these words, you put too many demands on yourself. Become mindful of and limit negative words from your vocabulary and perspectives.  

Focus on the positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Remember the skills you’ve used to cope with challenges. Be mindful of your character strengths, virtues, and achievements. 

Consider what you’ve learned. What changes can you make to a negative experience to create a more positive outcome?

Evaluate upsetting thoughts. Think of negative thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, “What can I think and do to make this less stressful?”

Encourage yourself. Give yourself credit for recovery — for making positive changes. Pat yourself on the back. Treat yourself. You are as deserving as anyone.

Remember, your social anxiety does not define you. You are defined by your character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. 

Be good to yourself. You deserve it.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.        

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.