Tag Archives: Mental Health

The Perfect Book For You To Read Next

Perfect By P. J. Gudka
Perfect By P. J. Gudka

Introduction

The Perfect Book For You To Read Next

By P. J. Gudka

I want to start by thanking Dr. Robert F. Mullen for all his support over the years and for letting me takeover the blog today and share this post.

On the 5th of April, I published my debut novel Perfect, after a little over two years of working on it. Of course, this was a huge milestone and one that I was never too sure would actually happen for me. Why was I so skeptical? Two words- social anxiety.

Dr. Mullen has so many incredibly helpful and informative posts about social anxiety on this blog. I’ve been reading them for years. Not only did I find them encouraging, I also found his approach to be quite realistic. Blogs like this one encouraged me to turn my life around when I was at my lowest point.

Social anxiety had taken away so much of what I used to love. Everything I enjoyed no longer brought me joy but rather a feeling of constant unease and fear. That included writing.

However, once I began making a conscious effort to change how my mind worked, to stop letting anxiety be my default, it was like I slowly got my life back.

Finding My Way Back To Writing

I started getting back into hobbies I enjoyed such as writing. And two years ago, I published my very first book. A poetry collection called All The Words I Kept Inside. Of course, I was terrified to put such a personal collection out into the world. But the biggest lesson I’ve learnt over the years is that the fear is always going to be there when you do something big. You can’t live a life free of fear or anxiety because to an extent it serves a purpose in our life. What you can do, however, is live your life despite it.

Soon after my poetry collection was published, I began working on my very first novel. The plot was something I had thought about for years but had never built up the courage to actually write. I wrote, edited, wrote some more, edited some more. It took two years of constant edits but I finally finished it.

And today, I’m honoured to be able to share that book with all of you. Here’s a little more about the book.

Description

A mother protecting her son.

A boy spiraling into darkness.

A girl who never stood a chance

Sally thinks she’s succeeded in breaking generational curses until she finds out her eldest son, James, is the prime suspect in Lily Johnson’s murder. After years of bliss, she’s forced to revisit dark family secrets she believed she had left behind. Even more unsettling is that the deeper she digs, the more she realizes that she may not know James as well as she thought.

James is certainly not the perfect son his mother believes he is. In fact, he has always felt painfully different from everyone around him- until he meets Lily Johnson. Initially, their relationship seems flawless, but soon the cracks begin to show, leaving James questioning everything- including his own sanity and just how far he’ll go to protect the girl he loves.]

After her father’s death, Lily’s mother marries Paul- a man Lily despises. And if that wasn’t devastating enough, Paul moves their family to the small town he grew up in. They thought Lily would be safer there, but little did they know that the small town holds secrets none of them could have ever imagined. Secrets some would kill to protect. And Lily finds herself in the middle of it all.Perfect is an emotionally gripping psychological domestic thriller that explores the impact of dark family secrets and the generational trauma it leads to. It will have readers questioning how well any of us know those we love and how far we’re willing to go to protect them.

Purchasing Options

If you’re interested in purchasing the book, you can find it on Amazon:

And Barnes & Noble:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/perfect-p-j-gudka/1149608635?ean=9781964885636

Final Thoughts

If you’re reading this and struggle with anxiety, I just wanted to say that it is totally possible for you to live your absolute best life despite it. I know it’s difficult but please don’t let anxiety get the better of you. Keep trying to change your thought patterns, your thinking habits, and anything else that may be holding you back. You’ve got this.

The Sky is Falling

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F. Mullen
Director/ReChanneling

For every new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

The Sky is Falling
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Recent Posts

A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen
Spring 2026

The Sky is Falling

Overgeneralization > Jumping to Conclusions > Catastrophizing

Cognitive distortions act as self-sabotaging defenses, reinforcing our irrational thoughts and behaviors. If we fail to understand why and how we use these mental shortcuts to justify our harmful thoughts and behaviors, we remain at a disadvantage, both cognitively and emotionally. Without identifying the problem, there is no way to know what to fix.

“Catastrophizing,” “Overgeneralizing,” and “Jumping to Conclusions”have a sequential relationship with one another. They are different manifestations of the same exaggerated and irrational thinking pattern. To exaggerate is to represent things as larger, better, or worse than they really are. Overgeneralizing, jumping to conclusions, and catastrophizing are forms of exaggeration.

Shared Negativity Bias

Their roots lie in our shared negativity bias—the human tendency to focus on potential adverse outcomes.

These three cognitive distortions illustrate an escalating chain of negative reactions to everyday events. They serve as the engine, the cars, and the caboose of our exaggerated responses. For example, after a failed job interview, we might overgeneralize the failure as proof of our incompetence, jump to the conclusion that we will never find work, and catastrophize by believing we are doomed to a lifetime of failure.

Similarly, after a relationship ends, we may overgeneralize that our anxiety caused the breakup, conclude that all future relationships will suffer the same fate, and catastrophize that we will end up living alone, surrounded by multiple cats.

These three cognitive distortions are broad, self-sabotaging interpretations of our perceptual futility. Because the future appears so depressing and lonely, these patterns of predetermining outcomes can significantly harm our emotional stability.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Overgeneralization

Overgeneralization occurs when we draw broad conclusions from a limited set of experiences. This is the belief that a few bad apples spoil the entire barrel. For instance, assuming that the neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in the neighborhood are delinquents is an overgeneralization based on a small, inadequate sampling.

This distortion compels us to make exaggerated claims about individuals or situations without sufficient evidence. We allow one isolated experience to color our view of all similar experiences, even when circumstances differ greatly. This pattern of thinking leads to stereotyping—interpreting a single behavior as an unchanging pattern and unfairly labeling people. We then ignore evidence that contradicts our conclusion.

We do this to ourselves as well by turning a single mishap or mistake into a life of calamity.

Much like negative filtering, which focuses only on the adversity of a situation, overgeneralization fuels our tendency to anticipate discouraging outcomes. For example, witnessing someone nearly drown can lead us to generalize that all bodies of water are dangerous. Getting sick from eating sushi purchased at a gas station might prompt us to generalize that all Japanese restaurants are unhealthy.

Jumping to Conclusions

Our automatic negative thoughts prompt overgeneralization and jumping to conclusions. For instance, feeling rejected at a social event may lead to thoughts such as “I am unlikable,” “I must be boring,” and “I’ll never have a meaningful relationship.”

For those experiencing social anxiety, a poor presentation at work can lead to overgeneralizing that our job is at risk, especially if we know of similar mistakes leading to dismissals. We might then jump to the conclusion that we are next, catastrophizing that we will never again find suitable employment.

Catastrophizing

Catastrophizing takes overgeneralizing and jumping to conclusions a step further. It means we imagine the worst possible outcome from limited or faulty evidence. Expanding on our neighbor’s son for comparison, we might believe that he will harm us simply because he is a delinquent who listens to heavy metal.

The classic example is Chicken Little, who, after an acorn falls on her head, instantly assumes, “The sky is falling!” instead of considering more probable explanations. Catastrophizing convinces us that the worst will happen and that the outcome is inevitable, without considering more reasonable alternatives.

If our partner has a bad week, we may assume our relationship is doomed and begin acting in ways that manifest our projection. A poor test grade can lead to the belief that we are failing the course, our future is destined to be mediocre, and we will end up living under a bridge.

Physical symptoms, like a migraine or stomachache, may lead us to conclude we have a brain tumor or appendicitis.

Recognizing and confronting the self-sabotaging nature of these belief patterns is vital for regaining control over our lives and mental health.

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops Online With Dr. Robert F. Mullen

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The Sky Is Falling

Summary Examples: The Neighbor’s Son

Catastrophizing: The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who listens to heavy metal.

Overgeneralization: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because many teenagers in our neighborhood are delinquents.

Jumping to Conclusions: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he listens to heavy metal.

Solutions

We have learned that cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational patterns of thought and behavior that contribute to our anxiety and depression.

Just because a few individuals in an organization are corrupt does not mean the entire group is unscrupulous. An angry roommate slamming a door does not necessarily imply that we are the target of their anger. A bad job interview does not mean we will never find employment or end up destitute. It’s common sense.

These thought patterns are based on negative assumptions, not facts. It is irrational and harmful to opine or decide without solid evidence. Remaining vigilant is essential, as cognitive distortions support our warped thoughts and behaviors.

Examining and analyzing why we predict adverse outcomes is a crucial tool for combating these distortions. By assessing situations and considering alternative, plausible explanations, we respond rationally rather than emotionally.

Cognitive distortions are more likely to surface during times of stress or fatigue. Practicing basic self-care, such as getting sufficient sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising, helps maintain emotional balance. By prioritizing self-care, we become better equipped to manage unproductive thoughts and emotions.

13 cognitive distortions particularly germane to social anxiety.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops Online

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.   

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.

Proactive Neuroplasticity: YouTube Video Series

Recovery from social anxiety and related conditions.

Robert F Mullen. PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Coping Mechanisms | Rechanneling.org | Proactive Neuroplasticity: YouTube Video Series
AI Generated: Brain Rewiring | Proactive Neuroplasticity

Recent Posts

A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen
April 2026

LINK TO YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Proactive Neuroplasticity: YouTube Video Series

Research has shown that our neural network is a flexible organism, constantly adapting and rebuilding itself with each new piece of information. Scientists call this process neuroplasticity, a process that involves structural remodeling of the brain. By intentionally enhancing this process, we can actively change our thoughts, behaviors, and perspectives, developing new, healthy mindsets, skills, and abilities. All information signals our neural pathways to reorganize, leading to related changes in behavior and viewpoint.  LINK

Video Series #2: Three Forms of Neuroplasticity

Three Forms Of Neuroplasticity

Reactive neuroplasticity is our brain’s natural response to sensory input. Active neuroplasticity involves neural changes gained through conscious effort, encompassing all forms of intentional learning. Proactive neuroplasticity is the deliberate, focused reshaping of our neural networks using tools and methods that support this process. The consistent, purposeful input of neural information allows us to proactively reshape our thoughts and behaviors, fostering healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities. LINK

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Tools And Techniques |

Proactive neuroplasticity involves deliberately and repeatedly inputting positive information into our neural network to strengthen learning and unlearning. What kind of information? How is it created? The goal is to ensure the information is of the highest quality to foster change. What are the best tools and techniques? What methodologies and psychological support systems are most effective for supporting proactive neuroplasticity—helping us unlearn negative self-beliefs reinforced by toxicity and replace them with healthy, positive ones. LINK

Positive Personal Affirmations | Proactive Neuroplasticity:

We greatly underestimate the importance and power of PPAs because we don’t grasp the science behind them. PPAs are short, focused statements that we repeat to ourselves to describe what and who we want to become. PPAs help us concentrate on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds. Practicing positive personal affirmations is a highly effective form of DRNI, or deliberate, repetitive input of neural information that supports proactive neuroplasticity. LINK

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Video Series #5: Challenging Our Self-Destructive Thoughts

Challenging Our Self-Destructive Thoughts

In this video, we explore the path our self-destructive thoughts take, which impacts our emotional well-being and overall quality of life. These thoughts originate from our negative core beliefs caused by our disorder, which shape our intermediate beliefs based on life experiences and form our ANTs or automatic negative thoughts that emphasize our situational fears and anxieties. LINK

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Affirmation Visualization | Proactive Neuroplasticity:

By visualizing a positive outcome before facing a feared situation, we imagine behaving a certain way in a realistic scenario, and through repetition, we can achieve a genuine change in our behavior and perspective. This process is a form of proactive neuroplasticity, and all the associated neural benefits are gained. Just as our neural network cannot differentiate between toxic and healthy information, it also cannot distinguish between physical experience and imagination. LINK  

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Constructing Our Neural Network

Neural information is created by setting our goal, identifying the steps to achieve it, and determining the information—the self-affirming or motivating statement—we deliberately and repeatedly input into our neural network. We want this information to be authentic and well-constructed to fully engage positive neural responses. The integrity of our goal, objectives, and information influences the strength and effectiveness of the neural response.  LINK

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Coping Mechanisms | Proactive Neuroplasticity:

Coping mechanisms are tools and techniques that help us manage and reduce our situational anxieties and stress triggers. Part 1 emphasizes the psychological benefits of coping strategies and highlights the three main mechanisms—grounding, reframing, and rational response. In Part 2, or video #9, we will explore secondary coping mechanisms and how to use them properly, offering a comprehensive view of the most effective strategies for reducing our fears and anxieties. LINK

An extensive overview can be found HERE

Overview

The video series explains the evolution of human neuroplasticity, distinguishing reactive, active, and proactive neural input. It diagrams the path of neural information and how it affects different lobes of the human brain responsible for learning.

Through proactive neuroplasticity, we compel our neural network to rewire its circuitry, leading to changes in behavior and perspective.

Social anxiety

Social anxiety is recognized across cultures by the ongoing fear and avoidance of social interactions and performance settings. This leads us to miss out on life experiences that help us connect with others. Adaptive coping strategies assist us in managing stress, anxiety, and their causes.

The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is to alleviate our irrational fears and anxieties. We execute these goals through a three-pronged approach.

  1. Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
  2. Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
  3. Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.

Neuroplasticity

The video series explains the evolution of neuroplasticity, highlighting the difference between reactive and active neural input versus proactive neural input. Videos illustrate how neural information progresses and affects the different lobes of the human brain involved in cognitive learning. Neural data, encoded as electrical energy, causes a receptive neuron to fire, transmitting this energy to a sensory neuron. This process allows the information to pass to millions of neurons involved in the network.

Benefits of Neural Restructuring

The videos illustrate how this cellular chain reaction amplifies that initial electrical energy through an abundant neural response. Positive information input, positive energy multiplied countless times, and this positive energy is reciprocated generously. Each neural input of information influences millions of neurons as they reshape our neural network into a form that supports a positive self-image. 

The beneficial effects of proactive neuroplasticity grow exponentially, fueled by the constant exchange of positive electrical energy and the release of hormones that promote motivation, persistence, and perseverance. Proactive neuroplasticity significantly reduces emotional dysfunction symptoms and helps us achieve our goals and objectives.

Hormones

Subsequently, natural hormonal neurotransmissions reward our activity with GABA for relaxation, dopamine for pleasure, endorphins for euphoria, serotonin for a sense of well-being, and hormones that support our motivation, enhance our memory, and improve concentration.

However, since our brain doesn’t distinguish between healthy and toxic information, the neurotransmission of pleasurable and motivational hormones happens regardless of whether we feed it self-destructive or constructive information. That’s one reason why breaking a habit, sticking to a resolution, or reaching our desired goal can be difficult. It also explains why positive informational input is essential for recovery and self-transformation.

The Inefficiency of One-Size-Fits-All Treatment

Contemporary wisdom questions the effectiveness of one-size-fits-all methods for behavioral change. These videos demonstrate how combining science with East-West psychologies best supports positive shifts in our thoughts and actions. Science offers us proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and positive psychology’s focus on optimal functioning, which are Western approaches. Eastern practices contribute Abhidharma psychology and universal truths about ethical behavior. 

Our core and intermediate beliefs shape our neural system. Childhood disturbances and emotional issues negatively influence these beliefs, leading to negative self-assessment that harms our emotional health and quality of life.

Hebbian Learning

The mechanics of Hebbian Learning explain how repeated proactive exposure to information leads to stronger, more effective learning. Hebb’s rule states that the more repetitions, the faster and more robust the connections become.

Harmful behaviors are unlearned, while healthy ones are adopted through deliberate, focused effort. Negative core and intermediate beliefs are challenged and replaced with healthy, life-affirming beliefs. Videos show how deliberately, repeatedly providing positive information reduces emotional dysfunction and helps us reach our goals.

Proactive neuroplasticity is conceptually simple but difficult because it demands long-term commitment and perseverance through repetitive practice. We reach Wimbledon after decades of playing on the courts. Philharmonics serve pianists who have spent years at the keyboard.

Proactive neuroplasticity requires a carefully planned routine of deliberate, repeated neural training that can be tedious and often fails to produce immediate tangible results, leading us to easily give up and lose hope in this age of instant gratification. 

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops With Dr. Robert F. Mullen Rechanneling.org

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.  

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value
consequential, and deserving of happiness.

The Amusement Park Theology

GUEST POST

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The Amusement Park Theology
AI Generated: The Amusement Park Theology

Dear Readers.
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do
.
Dr. Mullen

The Amusement Park Theology

by Sergio Rodríguez-Castillo

The purpose of life is to enjoy it.
— Dalai Lama

Allow me to outline a theory for you. You may agree or not, but I ask that you at least consider it before discarding it. Stay a “benevolent skeptic” as Freud would suggest.

Let us assume that God exists and is benevolent (debating these would be way beyond the purposes of this article and my pay grade).  Let’s hold that this loving God (or Goddess if it suits you better) created a marvelous universe and (what I really want to focus on) this marvelous planet. Quoting Genesis: “God saw that everything He had made was very good.” For the sake of my argument, let’s compare the world to an amusement park, to a Disneyland multiplied to the nth power, where God is its director.

Now then: God created this perfect amusement park and placed us here. Even better, He gave us a universal ticket that allows us to enjoy every ride, so long as we are willing to walk to wherever they are. That’s all! When opening the gates of the park for us, the director said: “I made this park for you because I love you. The park is perfect down to the smallest detail and works exactly as it should. You are free to do whatever you want. Have fun.

That sounds simple enough and amazing, doesn’t it?

Now, as is easily seen in life, as people enter the park, they take different attitudes (which is totally fine, since God invited us to do whatever we want):

Some stay at the information booth, reading the map and becoming experts on the park and its wonders. They are willing to direct and instruct, often smugly, anyone on the “right way” to reach the Ferris wheel or the carousel; unfortunately, often they have not ridden them, they limit themselves to learn the map and pointing the(ir) way.

Very close to them, also in the information booth, we find those who spend their time waiting for the park director to tell them which rides to visit, begging Him to guide them along the “right” path He has undoubtedly laid out, so they can enjoy the park as it should be.  Often worried about doing it wrong or trying to guess what rides He really wants them to see. Sometimes they interpret an event as the long-awaited “sign” and, if they’re lucky, end up experiencing the park; other times, they remain waiting, second-guessing the director’s instructions. Yet, God will not suggest rides for them, because doing so would interfere with the freedom He gave them—and He is the first to abide by the rules He Himself has established.

Others decide not to enjoy the amusement park because surely, somewhere else, there must be a better one—and they’ve concluded that if they “sacrifice” themselves in this one, the reward will be to enjoy that other park. Next to them, there’s a group convinced that since this park isn’t “real” or just a game, it isn’t worth playing, so they choose not to participate, sitting, waiting, practicing, dedicating their time to preparing for whatever comes after they leave the park.

Others choose competitive games—ring toss, target shooting, races. Their conclusion is that the only way to enjoy the park is to win many prizes and be admired by others for the number of stuffed animals they’ve accumulated. They subscribe to the idea that “he who dies with the most toys wins”. They prioritize winning and seek recognition for their achievements. What they don’t know (or rather refuse to see) is that they can’t take toys with them when they leave the park, because one of the few rules (to enter the park, NOT to be in it) is that you exit with exactly what you entered.

Some prefer the thrill rides, the roller coasters, the spinning attractions. They get on again and again. They get dizzy and vomit, but continue insisting on the same rides. Others prefer the haunted house—they get scared and get scared again, but choose (whether they realize it or not) to return to it over and over (the fear is real, the spooks aren’t). Alongside them are those who devote themselves to eating—popcorn, soda, hot dogs, ice cream, etc. All of them (Okay, us), freely choosing and then getting fully absorbed in our chosen activity that we forget we’re in an amusement park and convince ourselves it is reality (and perhaps even “serious” business).

Others spend their time complaining that some rides make them dizzy, others scare them, some are too far away, some require a certain height, and not everyone can enter all of them. They’re also irritated by the selfishness and lack of consideration of those who are having more fun than they are, and (although they may not admit it) jealous of those who seem to be enjoying the park. The more initiative-taking among them organize themselves to try to “improve” the park, perhaps convinced that the director needs a little help and that they know how to do it.

Very close to them are those who take on the role of hosts or helpers. They self-appoint as park guides, guardians, or protectors. They well-intentionedly decide that it is far more meritorious to help others enjoy the park than to enjoy it themselves. Many of them share a philosophy of the “sacrificed ones”; others have convinced themselves they don’t deserve to have fun in the park; and only a few actually enjoy this role, which -again- they freely choose.

Finally (though I’m sure with a little imagination we could find many more), there are those who take the director’s instructions literally and decide to enjoy the park. They wander through it, savoring the scares of the haunted mansion, the thrill of the Ferris wheel, the dizziness of the spinning rides, the excitement of healthy competition, the quiet moments, the food, the drinks, the scenery, etc. In short, they enjoy the stroll and the opportunity to be here. Curiously, these seem to be very few…

We spend our lives asking what its purpose is—Why am I here? We even ask if there is life after death. Someone once said it would be better to ask whether there is life before death. Tony de Mello used to say that most people are already dead; it’s just that the burial takes place some time later.

Why such concern over the meaning of life? Could it be that the meaning of life is simply… life itself? Why must it have an objective? Aren’t some of the best things in this world utterly without purpose? What is the goal of visiting an amusement park? What is the objective of music or dance? They have none! Alan Watts reminds us that we don’t dance in order to reach a corner of the room, nor do we listen to a musical piece waiting to get to the end. The Rolling Stones sang that life is the journey, not the destination; and John Lennon said that life is what happens while we’re busy making (waiting, begging for, etc.) other plans.

Why are we in this amusement park? I don’t know. Sometimes I imagine God at the exit gate, and I can almost see the people complaining to Him about the dizziness and the scares, demanding rewards for their sacrifices, those upset because He didn’t answer their pleas at the information booth, those expecting recognition for memorizing the map, etc. All of them forgetting that they themselves chose what to do, without imposition or request from God; while S/He, silently, smiles only at those who decided to take Him seriously and enjoy the park…

Isn’t the greatest reward for a parent to see their child happy? Might the best form of praise to God be to fully enjoy the wonderful creation? I suspect that would make Him (and Her) very happy.

But of course, what do I know?  I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Sergio Rodríguez-Castillo JD, PhD, LMFT
Psychedelic Assisted Therapy | Sergio Integral

Sergio Rodriguez-Castillo is a psychotherapist (LMFT), professor, researcher, and guide. He writes, “My job is neither to tell you what is ‘wrong’ with you (spoiler alert, nothing) nor what you need to do (I respect my clients too much to assume that I know better than!). No agenda beyond understanding you, and supporting you to find your own answers. and help you figure out what is needed to fully become yourself.”

Our Symptoms Through a Personal Lens

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F. Mullen
Director/ReChanneling

For every new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Visualization and Suggestion | Our Symptoms Through a Personal Lens
AI Generated: Our Symptoms Through a Personal Lense
A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Recent Posts

Our Symptoms Through a Personal Lens

Most of us experiencing social anxiety have glanced at the common symptoms listed by reputable sources like the Cleveland Clinic, National Institutes of Health (NIH), WebMD, and the Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA). However, how many of us have considered how these symptoms and traits personally impact us?

Here is the general list of emotional and behavioral symptoms of social anxiety disorder (social phobia) from the Mayo Clinic.

  1. Fear of situations in which you may be judged negatively.
  2. Worry about embarrassing or humiliating yourself.
  3. Intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers.
  4. Fear that others will notice that you look anxious.
  5. Fear of physical symptoms that may cause you embarrassment, such as blushing, sweating, trembling, or having a shaky voice.
  6. Avoidance of doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment.
  7. Avoidance of situations where you might be the center of attention.
  8. Anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event.
  9. Intense fear or anxiety during social situations.
  10. Analyzing your performance and identifying flaws in your interactions after a social situation.
  11. The expectation of the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Analyzing Symptoms from a Personal Perspective

What do these symptoms really mean on a personal level? First, not all of us experience the same symptoms to the same degree. Also, it’s important to understand that social anxiety includes both social and performance anxiety, and some of us are more affected by one than the other.

YOU HAVE INTENSE FEAR OR ANXIETY DURING SOCIAL SITUATIONS

You’re extremely nervous, sometimes to the point of nausea, during social situations. It’s scary and hard for you to be around other people, especially strangers. You do not know how to start conversations and avoid small groups because you fear being ignored or rejected. You fear criticism and judgment. And you feel out of place and alone, and this makes you feel physically and socially undesirable.

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU’RE UNDER A MICROSCOPE

Everyone appears to be watching you and evaluating your actions. No matter where you are, you worry about your appearance and behavior. You are obsessed with how you perceive others see you. Your SAD brain is irrational and biased. So, your hypersensitivity to evaluation, criticism, and rejection makes you see things in a negative light.

YOU FEEL ANXIETY AHEAD OF A SITUATION

You obsess over upcoming social and performance events. And you worry weeks in advance, fearing a bad outcome. And you focus on your perceived flaws. You imagine everything that could go wrong. Worry creates more anxiety, forming a cycle. Your fears of negative judgment or being ignored become so intense that you can become physically ill, looking for any excuse to avoid the situation.

YOU HAVE STRONG FEAR OR ANXIETY DURING PERFORMANCE SITUATIONS

You find it hard to assert yourself in meetings or class. Even speaking up sounds frightening. Why? Because when you perform in front of an audience, you fear negative judgment from peers. If you have to give a presentation, you go through all the fears that come with any social encounter.” Will my hands shake?” “Will my voice tremble?” “Will people take me seriously?”

YOU EXPECT THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOMES

…  from a negative social experience. If you make a mistake, say something wrong, or show weakness, you blow it out of proportion and then worry about the entire situation. You may even imagine things will go wrong, and the night will end in disaster. Your negative expectations influence your behavior, often leading to the very negative outcome you fear.

YOU OVERANALYZE YOUR PERFORMANCE

You obsess over perceived flaws and mistakes. And you replay conversations and interactions, dissecting every detail. And you spend hours or days reliving the event, rewriting every moment you think you underperformed or appeared awkward. These thoughts only increase your feelings of failure and defeat.

YOU FEEL ALIENATED AND ALONE

You think you don’t fit in because no one understands you. The more you think this way, the more isolated you become from friends and family. You hide or refuse to share your condition because nobody understands what you’re going through. Many therapists aren’t properly trained to diagnose this, and only a few reputable therapy groups exist worldwide.

YOU WORRY ABOUT EMBARRASSING OR HUMILIATING YOURSELF

When you try to socialize, you fear your awkwardness will show. You worry about saying the wrong thing or appearing ignorant. You fear others will mock you. Your attempts at conversation may be clumsy, your small talk awkward, and your attempts at humor poorly received. Your body language may betray your nervousness. And your hands might tremble or your legs shake. You find it hard to look people in the eye, and you may retreat when interactions become too much.

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YOU FEAR BEING THE CENTER OF ATTENTION

Being put on the spot or in the spotlight is a key sign of social anxiety disorder. Because you expect criticism and rejection, you live in constant anxiety, fearing situations like dating, job interviews, and classroom presentations. Even simple activities—like eating in front of others, riding a bus, or using a public bathroom—cause stress. You seek invisibility, hoping not to be asked to participate. If possible, you avoid social and performance settings completely and stay in the safety of your home.

YOU WORRY THAT OTHERS WILL NOTICE YOUR ANXIETY

You’re afraid you’ll show obvious physical signs that could embarrass you. You worry others will see you blushing, sweating, trembling, shaking hands, or other symptoms like nausea, heart race, dizziness, muscle tension, mental blocks, or forgetfulness.

YOU FEEL HELPLESS AND HOPELESS

You’re caught in a cycle that keeps you from living a “normal” life. You feel your options are limited. Because you avoid everyday activities, you feel trapped. You often feel helpless and powerless. You realize your thoughts and actions aren’t always rational, but you feel unable to change. And you don’t know how to break the cycle, and changing habits seems impossible.

YOU HAVE INTENSE FEAR OF TALKING OR INTERACTING WITH STRANGERS

You feel embarrassed, inadequate, or awkward around others. And you avoid these situations because of fear of criticism and rejection. This fear keeps you from gaining social experience. When you do engage, your negative body language—like avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, mumbling—reflects your nervousness, which is a large part of how others interpret you.

YOU FEEL WORTHLESS

You’ve tried everything to get rid of your social anxiety, and nothing seems to have worked.

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.   

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.

Notes on Writing a Self-Help Book

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F. Mullen
Director/ReChanneling

For every new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Notes on Writing a Self-Help Book
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“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Notes on Writing the Self-Help Book

I recently finished a guide for people experiencing social anxiety (social phobia, social anxiety disorder). As an academic writer, I was unprepared for the demands of writing a self-help book. The compassion, intimacy, and personal revelations needed to connect with the millions seeking ways to ease the burden of their condition were a difficult transition from the dispassionate, fact-driven culture of academia, to which I was accustomed.

Academia

Academic articles are distinguished by a highly structured, impersonal, evidence-based approach. Self-reference is verboten, and every study and theory must be supported by field experts. In popular parlance, it’s known as covering our asses. For example, my paper on the challenges of social anxiety in relationships contained over 90 references.

Academic papers are often redundant by design. We stand on the shoulders of giants to become giants ourselves. I’ve been fortunate to see my publications cited in multiple journals and books, indicating I’ve contributed to the field. But honestly, my academic contributions have mostly been rehashed, pedantic, and repetitive ideas and formulas aimed at a very exclusive audience. 

Self-Improvement

Self-help or self-improvement books are meant to help readers overcome personal, mental, or emotional challenges without on-site professional assistance. Guides to recovery from social anxiety offer practical advice for handling stress, building resilience, changing habits, or reaching goals. Some use psychological research, while others rely on personal stories or study and experience.

Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is manipulative and intractable, sustaining itself on the irrational thoughts and behaviors of the 360 million individuals worldwide who find themselves caught in its densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social and performance situations.

Statistics, limited as they are due to the fear of disclosure, claim that two of every five adults and adolescents experience some degree of social anxiety.

A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Self-help publications now make up a $41 billion-a-year global industry. There are innumerable books on social anxiety. So, what makes my upcoming book on recovery different from others of its ilk?

It’s Not Theoretical

It’s a practical, clear, and simple guide to traditional and non-traditional approaches. Developed and used successfully in our groups and workshops.

It is Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution

Recovery draws from the rich diversity of human thought and experience, integrating science, psychology, philosophy. And, by extension, religious and spiritual insight.

For unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations, SAD is highly subjective, and treatment options must take this into account. It is, by nature, highly experiential.

The Personal Connection

I suffered from severe social anxiety disorder for the first half of my life. But through study, growth, and practice, I developed ways to recover. I am deeply familiar with the struggles and quirks of social anxiety.

The experiences, fears, and frustrations of my clients and colleagues are familiar to me because I have felt them too. We are the same. There is nothing that an individual conflicted with anxiety has thought, felt, considered or done that I haven’t experienced to some extent.

Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is manipulative and difficult to treat, driven by irrational thoughts and behaviors. Since the condition differs from other disorders due to its negative core and intermediate belief system, many traditional treatments are reasonably ineffective.

Many experts claim that recovery requires a specialized understanding of its manipulative and intractable forms of self-sabotage, which can only be provided by someone who has experienced it firsthand.

The Hollywood Connection

As a mediocre, former actor and playwright in the entertainment industry, much of my social anxiety was shaped by my interactions and experiences with the Hollywood hierarchy and personalities who shared similar struggles. Many are referenced in the book, though not disparagingly. Many, like Sal Mineo and Momma Cass, are no longer with us.

I am a very guarded and private person, probably because of my SAD-induced lingering fear of criticism, negative judgment, and ridicule. To show my understanding and compassion for others with the same condition, I felt it necessary to share my own faults, weaknesses, and failures—things I’ve rarely shared publicly. It was both terrifying and cathartic.

I was given many opportunities to succeed in the industry, but self-sabotage usually took precedence. I struggled to form, nurture, or sustain healthy relationships, but my social life mainly involved partying with B-list celebrities and insinuating myself into their success.

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“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.

The Chosen Path

At midlife, I chose a different path. I returned to university, earned my degrees, and became a behaviorist focusing on what is nicknamed the “neglected anxiety disorder,” because few therapists have the skills to treat the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder.

Committing to recovery is one of the most difficult challenges a socially anxious person can face. It demands a lot of courage and acceptance that they are valuable, important, and deserving of happiness. My primary goal is to support anyone with the commitment and determination to recover by helping them successfully overcome Aaron Beck’s three core negative beliefs: helplessness, hopelessness, and unlovability.

The fate of my venture into the self-help industry remains uncertain. Will it genuinely help anyone, or will it quickly end up in the Amazon dustbin? I’ve always believed in the often-cited proverb from the Torah, ‘Save one life, save the world,” so I believe the book has a reasonable chance of success.

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WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.   

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Visualization and Suggestion

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F. Mullen
Director/ReChanneling

For every new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

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Affirmative Visualization

What is now proved was once only imagined.
— William Blake

Affirmative visualization is a neuro-scientific coping mechanism. Its purpose is to create and experience positive outcome scenarios in the structured imagination of our mental workplace.

Visualization plays a significant role in recovery from social anxiety and related conditions. Although it often extends into uncharted territory, our anxiety is primarily associated with social situations. We envision the productive outcome of an anxiety-provoking event and, through conscious repetition, ostensibly attain an authentic shift in our behavior and perspective. 

The Situation

A situation is a specific set of circumstances, including the facts, conditions, and events that affect us at a particular time and place.

Anticipated situations are those we know in advance will provoke our fears and anxieties. Situations vary widely such as social and networking events, classroom settings, public swimming pools, beauty salons, and other subjective triggers for anxiety. They can be one-time events like a job interview or celebration, or recurring, such as weekly meetings or daily work commitments.

Scheduled events empower us to take a proactive approach by pre-planning coping strategies and predetermined mechanisms and skills tailored to address and alleviate adverse responses.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Unexpected Situations

For unexpected situations that catch us by surprise, such as a plumbing disaster, an unexpected guest, or a traffic accident, we assemble an emergency preparedness kit of coping mechanisms to handle such events. Visualization is an ineffective strategy for unexpected situations because we lack a predetermined situation.

Plan Components

Before devising our plan, we create and control our narrative. We incorporate our plan components to include:

Initial SUDs Rating: we measure the intensity of distress we feel about the upcoming situation.

Purpose: we establish the primary motivation for attending the situation. What do we seek or hope to accomplish?

Persona: we identify the social face we present to the situation, designed to make a positive impression while concealing the nature of our social anxiety

Character Focus: we incorporate certain character assets or strengths to establish confidence and self-reliance during the situation

Distractions and Diversions: we establish physical and mental distractions and diversions to compensate for any unexpected triggers.

Group Small Talk: we predetermine transactional and mutual interest conversational skills to ingratiate ourselves and establish a comfort zone during the situation.

Projected Positive Outcome: we control our participation by setting optimistic outcome scenarios.

Projected SUDs Rating: we set a reasonable prediction or expectation of the decreased level of distress we will experience due to our advanced diligence.

Once we have established reasonable and successful expectations, we visualize the situation as a positive unfolding experience. We find a quiet place to close our eyes and mentally recreate our plan. We commit to this practice as often as possible before exposing ourselves to the situation.  

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The more we visualize with a clear intent, the more focused we become, increasing the probability of achieving our objectives. After a while, it may become an unconscious activity. This practice instills a sense of accomplishment and confidence, making visualization a surprisingly powerful and effective tool.

The Science

An affirmative visualization is a neuroscientific coping mechanism. Its purpose is to create and experience positive outcome scenarios in the structured imagination of our mental workplace. We envision the productive outcome of an anxiety-provoking situation. And through conscious repetition, strengthen and consolidate our behavior during the actual event.

The more detailed and immersive the experience, the better, and repetition of the visualization is a key component. This repetition reassures us of its effectiveness. And we label the process “affirmative” because of our predisposition to set negative outcome scenarios.

Affirmative visualization is not just a concept, but a scientifically supported technique backed by studies and the neuroscientific understanding of our neural network. Positive personal affirmations (PPAs) are concise, predetermined, positive statements. Affirmative visualizations are positive outcome scenarios that we mentally recreate by imagining or visualizing them. Both are underscored by the Laws of Learning, a set of principles tested in real-world applications that identify the learning process.

Neuroplasticity

Affirmative visualization fulfills the requisites for neuroplasticity —  our brain’s remarkable ability to adapt and reorganize itself in response to information and experience. Active neuroplasticity happens through intentional activities. Proactive neuroplasticity is the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of registered information. Through affirmative visualization, we envision behaving in a certain way. And by deliberate repetition, attain an authentic shift in our behavior and perspective.

Our brain is a remarkable organ, constantly learning and restructuring with new information. With each registered input, connections strengthen and weaken, neurons atrophy and others are born, energy dissipates and expands, and beneficial hormones are neurally transmitted.

By proactively engaging our brain with deliberate, repetitive neural information through affirmative visualization, we accelerate and consolidate learning (and unlearning). This process leads to a significant change in thought, behavior, and perspective, which becomes habitual and spontaneous over time. This reassures us that change is not only possible but natural and inevitable. 

Our Neural Response

It’s fascinating how our brain undergoes the same neural restructuring when we visualize an action as when we physically perform it. The fact that the same brain regions are stimulated in both cases is a testament to the power of visualization.

Our neural network does not distinguish between toxic and productive information and between real and imagined experiences. Visualizing raising our left hand is neurally indistinguishable from physically raising our left hand, and research reveals that mentally imaging muscle retention is almost as effective as actual physical practice.

The thalamus is a small structure within the brain located just above the stem between the cerebral cortex and the midbrain. It has extensive nerve connections to both, and all registered information passes through it. By visualizing activity, we increase activity in the thalamus, and our brain responds as though the activity is happening.

The Remarkable Power of Visualization

Our thalamus makes no distinction between inner and outer realities. It does not distinguish whether we are imagining something or experiencing it. Thus, any idea will take on a semblance of reality if repeatedly contemplated. If we visualize a solution to a problem, the problem begins to resolve itself. Because visualizing activates the cognitive circuits involved with our working memory.

Brain studies now reveal that thoughts produce the exact mental instructions as actions.  The mental imagery in affirmative visualization impacts many cognitive processes in the brain: motor control, focus, perception, planning, and memory. It encourages motivation, increases confidence and self-reliance, and enhances motor performance. Our brain trains for actual performance through visualization.

Research unequivocally demonstrates the transformative power of visualization. When we visualize an event in advance, we seize control of our mental and physical performance. By consciously sourcing information that aligns with our desired outcomes, we dramatically increase the likelihood of success in the actual situation, empowering ourselves in the process.

Like our PPAs, affirmative visualization is a mental exercise that gains strength with deliberate repetition. By visualizing the scenario repeatedly, we build confidence and, importantly, reduce our anxiety.

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Executing our Visualization

We visualize the event and its successful outcome, imagining each detail, our attitude, and the reactions of others. We imagine the influx of cortisol and adrenaline dissipating every time we take a deep breath, slow talk, or utilize another coping mechanism. And we set reasonable expectations, such as maintaining a calm demeanor while delivering the presentation without major interruptions. These expectations are achievable because we have a well-rehearsed plan that covers triggers and contingencies, making us feel prepared for the situation.  

We visualize the elements of our plan as we incorporate them into the situation. We mentally recreate our persona, the ‘social face’ we present to others. This is designed to make a positive impression while concealing the nature of our social anxiety. We establish a firm purpose – our primary motivation for exposing ourselves to the situation. We establish imaginary distractions and diversions and decide the best character focus to support our intentions. And importantly, we hone our communication skills for group small talk, a common social element that can be challenging for individuals with social anxiety. Through affirmative visualization, we experience successful participation in the event as envisioned.

Whether it’s mitigating anxiety, performing better, or becoming more empathetic and competent, visualization can help us achieve our personal goals. Affirmative visualization activates our dopaminergic-reward system, reducing anxiety and fear-provoking hormones while accelerating and consolidating the beneficial ones. Additionally, when we visualize, our brain generates alpha waves, which can significantly reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

Whether mitigating anxiety, performing better, or becoming more empathetic and competent, affirmative visualization can help us achieve our personal goals.

Whether it’s mitigating anxiety, performing better, or becoming more empathetic and competent, visualization can help us achieve our personal goals. Affirmative visualization activates our dopaminergic-reward system, reducing anxiety and fear-provoking hormones while accelerating and consolidating the beneficial ones. When we visualize, our brain generates alpha waves, which can significantly reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression.

The Power of Suggestion

Beyond the advantages of visualization, the power of suggestion is another influential tool that significantly shapes our thoughts, behaviors, and decision-making. Both visualization and suggestion can guide our responses, but they operate in distinct ways. Through our deliberate, repetitive focus on our Fear Situation Plan outlined in Chapter 25, visualization and suggestion can help produce a positive, productive outcome by ameliorating the triggers and automatic negative thoughts that threaten our emotional well-being in fear-related situations.

Conscious and Unconscious Suggestion

Suggestions may be consciously produced when we openly acknowledge and accept a particular idea—whether it originates with us or another person—and apply it to the situation at hand. This approach allows us to intentionally direct our reactions based on the suggestions we choose to accept. Alternatively, suggestions can operate unconsciously, subtly influencing our underlying motivations without our direct awareness.

Response Expectancies

The effectiveness of suggestion is rooted in the concept of ‘response expectancies,’ which are subconscious predictions about how we will respond to specific situations. Our previous experiences shaped these expectancies and firmly held beliefs. By intentionally setting optimistic scenarios for potential outcomes, we can begin to break free from the limitations of our past experiences. This process allows our expectations to become a positive influence on our recovery, enabling us to guide our desired behaviors by consciously or unconsciously activating them.

The Role of Expectancies in Behavior

We often overlook response expectancies, yet they play a crucial role in shaping how suggestions influence our reactions and behaviors. For individuals struggling with social anxiety, patterns of negative self-appraisal are common and can be perpetuated by persistent negative expectations. This highlights the importance of nurturing reasonable, positive expectations to foster a mindset of attentive positivity, which, in positive psychology, is the study of what best supports our emotional well-being.

Any idea or suggestion, when contemplated, begins to take on a sense of reality in our minds. By mentally creating, visualizing, or cognitively proposing a solution to a problem, we engage our neural pathways and reinforce the circuits involved in both learning and unlearning. This process strengthens the solution’s integrity, making it a more integral part of our cognitive framework and supporting positive change.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops Online

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.   

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.

Anxiety and Depression in the LGBTQ+ Community

Recovery from social anxiety and related conditions.

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Anxiety and Depression in the LGBTQ+ Community
Anxiety and Depression in the LGBTQ+ Community

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A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Anxiety and Depression in the LGBTQ Community

Abstract. Firmly establishing wellness models in mental health requires nothing less than a reformation of language, power structure, and perspective throughout the mental healthcare community and beyond.

Roughly 65 million U.S. adults and 18.5 million adolescents have major depression and anxiety. Estimates show that 60% of those with anxiety also have depression symptoms, and both are comorbid with substance abuse.

Similar numbers hold for LGBTQ+ persons with other mental and emotional disorders.

Anxiety and depression are primary causes of the 56% increase in adolescent suicide over the last decade. High school LGBTQ+ students are almost five times as likely to attempt suicide as their heterosexual peers, and 40% of transgender adults have attempted suicide in their lifetime.

Wellness must become the central focus of mental health because the disease model has provided grossly unsatisfactory results. Rather than obsessing on disease and deficits, wellness models emphasize the character strengths and virtues that generate motivation, persistence, and perseverance essential to recovery.

Psychological science needs positive implementation through program integration, positive evaluation, transparency, and information management. Empathy and communication must supersede etiology and misdiagnosis.

Wellness impacts more than mental health; it is a paradigm that also seeks to promote complete physical, mental, and social well-being. This paper will show how the wellness model’s sociological emphasis on character strengths and attributes not only positively impacts the self-beliefs and image of a mentally ill person but also resonates with sexual and gender-based identities and portends well for the recovery-remission of an LGBTQ+ person with a mental illness.  

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)

Introduction

To illustrate the wellness model’s potential impact, this paper focuses on LGBTQ+ persons with anxiety and depression. “There is an urgent need to develop and disseminate tailored evidence-based interventions that improve the health of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ) youth. (Wilkerson et al., 2016, p. 358).

Depression and anxiety are the two most common forms of mental dysfunction impacting millions of U.S. adults who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations. Johns Hopkins (2020) reports that around 25 million U.S. adults have a depressive illness, and 45 million have anxiety. Adolescent numbers fluctuate between 8 and 18 million (CDC, 2020; NIMH, 2017); the actual number is indeterminate.

Statistics are even less reliable for the LGBTQ+ community because large-scale mental health studies rarely include sexual and gender identity (NAMI, 2020b). “Federally funded surveys only recently have begun to identify sexual minorities in their data collections” (Medley et al., 2020, p. 1). Experts estimate the infection rate in the LGBTQ+ community is 1.5 to 2.5 times higher “than that of their straight or gender-conforming counterparts” (Brenner, 2019, p. 1).

Depressive illnesses tend to co-occur with anxiety and substance abuse (Johns Hopkins, 2020). “Some estimates show that 60% of those with anxiety will also have symptoms of depression, and the numbers are similar for those with depression also experiencing anxiety” (Salcedo, 2018, p. 1).

Anxiety and depression are primary causes of the 56% increase in adolescent suicide over the last decade (Curtin & Heron, 2019). “High school students who identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual are almost five times as likely to attempt suicide compared to their heterosexual peers,” and “40% of transgender adults have attempted suicide in their lifetime” (NAMI, 2020b, p. 1).

The psychological and sociological toll of anxiety disorders can be overwhelming. Physically, anxiety can cause sweating, trembling, fatigue, and rapid heartbeat, lower the immune system, and increase the risk of heart disease.

Persons with depression may experience a lack of interest and enjoyment of daily activities, significant weight fluctuation, insomnia or excessive sleeping, enervation, inability to concentrate, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, and recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

Anxious and depressed persons frequently perform poorly in social situations (Hirsch & Clark, 2004; Hulme et al., 2012) for fear of being found out as unlikeable, stupid, or annoying. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternizing with peers.

Symptoms can be repressive and intractable, imposing irrational thoughts and behaviors (Richards, 2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010) that govern perceptions of personal attractiveness, intelligence, and competence (Ades & Dias, 2013). Over time, these self-beliefs become automatic negative thoughts (Amen, 1998) that determine initial reactions to situations or circumstances.

Mental Health and LGBTQ+ Culture

Halloran and Kashima (2006) define culture as “an interrelated set of values, tools, and practices that is shared among a group of people who possess a common social identity” (p. 140). Culture impacts how mental illness is perceived or diagnosed, how services are organized, and how they’re funded. It also affects how patients express their symptoms…and how they cope in the range of their community and family supports. (Daw, 2001, p. 1)

Studies and research indicate that mental health culture is underscored by the same interrelated attributions to mental health stigma: public opinion, media representation, family rejection, distancing, and diagnosis. LGBTQ+ culture is defined by its sexual and gender identity as distinct from the heterosexual and cisgender community (NAMI, 2020b).

Subcultures within the community comprise “a diverse set of groups, including distinct groups based on sexual orientation and gender identity” (Lewis et al., 2017, p. 861), each struggling to develop their recognition.

LGBTQ+’s social identity is shaped by oppression and its role in overcoming it. The community faces “numerous challenges and instances of heterosexism and homophobia in their daily lives” (UW-Madison, 2020, p. 1), including “discrimination, prejudice, denial of civil and human rights, harassment, and family rejection” (NAMI, 2020b, p. 1).

Transition

Working within a wellness model of mental health has become a central focus of international policy (Slade, 2010). As psychologist Kinderman (2014) writes, “we need wholesale and radical change, not only in how we understand mental health problems but also in how we design and commission mental health services” (p. 1).

Decades of pathographic focus on psychological research and studies, negative diagnostic attributions, stereotyping and stigma, public and institutional resistance, and a doctor-client power dominance factor in the need to transition to a wellness paradigm.

Firmly establishing wellness models in mental health requires nothing less than a reformation of language, power structure, and perspective throughout the mental healthcare community and beyond. Rather than obsessing over disease and deficits, wellness models emphasize the character strengths and virtues that generate motivation, persistence, and perseverance to recover.

This paper does not endorse a total dissolution of medical model approaches, but a review of their efficacy and the psychological effectiveness of their pathographic dominance is highly warranted.

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Redefining Mental Health

Government agencies define mental illness as a “diagnosable mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder of sufficient duration to meet diagnostic criteria” that can “result in functional impairment which substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities” (Salzer et al., 2018, p. 3). This ‘defective’ emphasis has been the overriding psychiatric perspective for centuries.

The pathogenic or disease perspective of diagnosis and recovery focuses on an individual’s history of suffering to facilitate diagnosis. Schioldann (2003, p. 303) defines pathography as a

historical biography from a medical, psychological, and psychiatric viewpoint. It analyses a single individual’s biological heredity, development, personality, life history and mental and physical pathology, within the socio-cultural context of his/her time, in order to evaluate the impact of these factors upon his/her decision-making, performance and achievements. (Kőváry, 2011, p. 742)

One only needs the American Psychological Association’s (APA, 2020) definition of neurosis to understand the mental health community’s pathographic focus. The 90-word overview includes the following terms: distressing, irrational, obsessive, compulsive, dissociative, depressive, exaggerated, unconscious, conflicts, anxiety, and disorders. DSM-3 abandoned the word ‘neurosis’ in 1980, but it remains the go-to term in the mental health community.

Coined by a Scottish physician in 1776, neurosis was defined as a functional derangement of the nervous system. Pathography focuses “on a deficit, disease model of human behaviour,” whereas the wellness model focuses “on positive aspects of human functioning” (Mayer & May, 2019, p. 159).

Studies and research portray the mental health care community drowning in pessimism (Henderson et al., 2014; Khesht-Masjedi et al., 2017; Pryor et al., 2009). “There is evidence to indicate the problem may be endemic in the medical health community” (Gray, 2002, p. 3), and it is also systemic (Knaak et al., 2017).

Noted psychologist Alison Gray (2002) argues that more disordered persons would seek treatment if psychiatric services were less stigmatized and stigmatizing. Patients commonly report instances in which staff members were inordinately rude or dismissive.

They cite coercive measures, excessive wait times, paternalistic or demeaning attitudes, treatment programs revolving around drugs with undesirable side effects, stigmatizing language, and general therapeutic pessimism (Henderson et al., 2014; Huggett et al., 2018).

Clients with more severe complications or illnesses are often deemed “difficult, manipulative, and less deserving of care” (Knaak et al., 2017, p. 2). Nurses and clinicians cite a lack of collegial support, insufficient knowledge and training, and the fear of client self-harm (Henderson et al., 2014), leading them to over-diagnose and over-prescribe (Huggett et al., 2018).

Transitioning from the disease model’s pathographic language to the optimistic and encouraging language of wellness models is everyone’s responsibility in the mental health community―its institutions, associations, practitioners, researchers, media, and clients. In the growing view among clinical psychologists, empathy and communication must take precedence over etiology. 

We must move away from the disease model, which assumes that emotional distress is merely symptomatic of biological illness, and instead embrace a model of mental health and well-being that recognizes our essential and shared humanity. Our mental health is largely dependent on our understanding of the world and our thoughts about ourselves, other people, the future and the world. (Kinderman, 2014, p. 3)

Language and Perspective

Language generates and supports perspective, and linguists agree that the relationship between language and power is mutual (Ng & Deng, 2017). It influences thought and action. Terms such as incapacity, deceit, unempathetic, manipulative, and irresponsible describe DSM-5 traits for various disorders.

The argument is not that these descriptions are invalid; rather, they are overwhelmingly negative and perceptually hostile. Judging by public opinion, media representation, and mental health stereotypes and stigma, these words help frame perceptions of people with mental disorders (DeMare, 2016; Pinfold et al., 2005; Pryor et al., 2009).

Realistically, we cannot eliminate the word ‘mental’ from the culture. For 70 years, the disease model has been guided by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. Unfortunately, the word ‘mental’ is a limited description of a disorder, and its negative implications reinforce perceptions of incompetence, unworthiness, and undesirability. It is the dominant source of stigma, shame, and self-denigration.

Psychologically, the word ‘mental’ frames a person or their behavior as somehow extreme or illogical. Adolescents derisively apply the term to the unpopular, different, and socially inept. The Urban Dictionary defines ‘mental’ as someone silly or stupid.

Hostile and demeaning language is pervasive throughout mental healthcare, promulgated by the disease or medical model’s pathographic undercurrent. This perspective influences public opinion, research, media representation, the doctor-patient power structure, community relationships, and clients’ self-beliefs and self-image.

Transitioning from the disease model to wellness models requires constructing a more reasonable mental health perspective by addressing misunderstanding, misinformation, and the disease model’s overriding focus on diagnosis, disorder, deficit, and denigration. 

Misinformation arises from the psychological community’s difficulty reaching agreement, due to changing criteria, “substantial discrepancies and variation in definition, epidemiology, assessment, and treatment” (Nagata et al., 2015, p. 724), and the intractability of the American Psychiatric Association.

There are four common misconceptions about mental disorders. They are (1) abnormal and selective, (2) a consequence of behavior, (3) solely mental, and (4) psychotic. These misconceptions are corrected by the universality, age of onset, and complementarity of mental illness, and by clearly differentiating psychosis from neurosis. 

Universality 

A recent article in Scientific American speculates that “mental illnesses are so common that almost everyone will develop at least one diagnosable mental disorder at some point in their life” (Reuben & Schaefer, 2017, p. 1). It is a standard part of natural human development. One in four individuals has a diagnosable mental disorder.

According to the World Health Organization, nearly two-thirds of people who believe they have a mental disorder reject or refuse to disclose their condition. Including those who dispute or choose to remain oblivious to their dysfunction, we can conclude that mental disorders are common, indiscriminate, and universally impactful.

Age of Onset

The onset of a disorder, according to Mayo Clinic (2019), is ostensibly a consequence of early psychophysiological disturbances, although genetics and environment also play a role. Perhaps parental behaviors are overprotective or controlling, or fail to provide emotional validation (Cuncic, 2018).

The receptive juvenile might be the product of bullying, abuse, or a broken home. “LGBT youths experience greater stressors from childhood into early adulthood, such as child abuse and unstable housing, that exacerbate mental health problems” (Mustanski et al., 2016, p. 527).

LGBTQ+ youth experience disproportionately high rates of verbal and physical harassment and other types of peer victimization (Berlan et al., 2010; Reisner et al., 2015). “Gender minority youth had approximately four-fold higher odds of experiencing any bullying or harassment in the past year” (Reisner et al., 2015, pp. 35-36).

Childhood/adolescent exploitation or abuse are generic terms describing a broad spectrum of experiences that interfere with a youth’s optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, and social development (Steele, 1995). Any number of situations or events can trigger susceptibility to onset; it may be hereditary, environmental, or the result of a traumatic experience (Mayoclinic, 2019; NIH, 2019).

Statistically, the LGBTQ+ community is at “a higher risk than their heterosexual counterparts for traumatic life experiences such as childhood physical, psychological, and sexual abuse” (Bandermann, 2014, p. 3).

Despite the implication of intentionality in the words ‘abuse’ and ‘exploitation,’ a toddler might sense abandonment and develop emotional issues when a parent is preoccupied (Lancer, 2019). The child/adolescent is not accountable for their dysfunction; there may be no one intentionally responsible.

Similarly, scientific affirmation holds that, while sexual and gender-based identities may have a genetic or biological basis, they are not chosen, and the LGBTQ+ person is not accountable; unlike mental illness, there is no implicit or explicit responsible party.

Undoubtedly, this sociological model conflicts with moral models that claim, “mental illness is onset controllable, and persons with mental illness are to blame for their symptoms” (Corrigan 2006, p. 53), and that sexual and gender-based orientation is a choice.

Complementarity 

To early civilizations, mental illness was the domain of supernatural forces and demonic possession. Hippocrates and 19th-century diagnosticians looked at the relative proportions of bodily fluids. Lunar influence, sorcery, and witchcraft are timeless culprits.

In the early 20th century, it was somatogenic. The biological approach argues that neuroses are related to the brain’s physical functioning (McLeod, 2018), while pharmacology promotes the idea of chemical or hormonal imbalance.

Carl Rogers‘ study of the cooperation of human system components to maintain physiological equilibrium produced the word ‘complementarity’ to define simultaneous mutual interaction. All human system components must work in concert; they cannot function alone.

The simultaneous mutual interaction of all human system components—mind, body, spirit, and emotions—is required to sustain and recover from a mental dysfunction. The same mutual interaction is evident in sexual and gender-based identities as it is in all persons.

Psychosis and Neurosis

There are two degrees of mental disorder: neuroses and psychoses. When someone sees, hears, or responds to things that are not real, they are having a psychotic episode. While few people experience psychosis, everyone has moderate-to-high levels of anxiety, stress, and depression.

A neurosis is a condition that negatively impacts our emotional well-being and quality of life but does not necessarily impair or interfere with normal day-to-day functions. Since the overwhelming majority of mental disorders are neuroses, humans are all dysfunctional to some extent.

“Language reveals power, reflects power, maintains existing dominance, unites and divides . . . and creates influence” (Ng & Deng, 2017, p. 15). The wellness model has a similar impact on the mentally ill and LGBTQ+ individuals.

Revising negative and hostile language to embrace a positive dialogue of encouragement and appreciation generates new perspectives that contribute to self-belief and image, leading to greater disclosure, discussion, and, in the case of mental illness, recovery and remission. The self-denigrating aspects of shame should dissipate; stigma becomes less threatening.

Accepting that mental illness and sexual and gender-based identities are ubiquitous and nondiscriminating should make it easier to embrace the subject within the family structure. Recognizing their proximity and general susceptibility should mitigate the desire to distance and isolate.

Accepting their social pervasiveness should alleviate the prejudice, ignorance, and discrimination attached to mental illness (Khesht-Masjedi et al., 2017; Pescosolido, 2013; Pinfold et al., 2005; Wood & Irons, 2017), as well as sexual and gender-based identities (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018; Dodge et al., 2016; Lewis et al., 2017). Recognizing that neither the mentally ill nor the LGBTQ+ person is accountable disputes the belief that they are weak or amoral and that their condition reflects behavior.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Resistance to Recovery

The term stigma-avoidance describes those who fear that public disclosure could stigmatize and discredit them. Statistics from the National Bureau of Economic Research “find that survey respondents under-report mental health conditions 36% of the time when asked about diagnosis” (Bharadwaj et al., 2017, p. 3).

A recent study by Salzer et al. (2018) reveals that only one-third of individuals with a disorder were in recovery-remission in 2017. Lower recovery-remission rates may be partly due to the inability to afford treatment, driven by anxiety-induced financial and employment instability (Gregory et al., 2018). More than 70% of patients with social anxiety disorder, for example, are in the lowest economic group (Nardi, 2003).

The LGBTQ+ community’s resistance to disclose a mental disorder, seek treatment, or accept a diagnosis stems from the same factors that underpin general reticence: stigmatization, victimization, public opinion, media representation, family rejection, and the diagnosis itself.

Stigmatization

Mental health stigma is the hostile expression of the abject undesirability of the afflicted. 90% of survey respondents with a mental disorder claim they have been impacted by mental health stigma (NAMI 2020a). Stigmatization is deliberate and proactive, distinguishable by pathographic overtones intended to shame and isolate (Pryor et al., 2009).

Disclosure of a mental disorder can jeopardize livelihoods, relationships, social standing, housing, and quality of life (Huggett et al., 2018; Pinfold et al., 2005; Sowislo et al., 2016; Wood & Irons, 2017). “The deleterious effects of stigma and prejudice on the health of sexual minority individuals have been well-documented across both physiological and psychological domains” (Dodge et al., 2016, p. 1). 

For LGBTQ youth, the minority stress theory posits that their health is affected by the degree to which their social environment stigmatizes sexual and gender minorities and the extent to which LGBTQ+ youth in these environments are expected to hide their nonconformity. (Wilkerson et al., 2016, p. 359)

Mental health stigma is expressed within three categories:

  • Tribal stigma devalues.
  • Moral character stigma implies amorality and weakness.
  • Abominations of the body stigma refers to physical deformity or disease (Pryor et al., 2009).

Mental disorder occupies the last two categories. Ignorance equates a mental disorder with weakness or contributing behavior, while the medical model focuses on the disease and deformity aspects. LGBTQ+ persons face the added burden that their sexual and gender-based identity is socially and culturally tribal.

Victimization

“Community-based samples of LGBT youths have shown that as many as 30% may experience psychological distress at clinically significant levels” (Mustanski et al., 2016, p. 527). A study of the effects of cumulative victimization on LGBTQ+ youth’s mental health found that they “experience greater mental health problems, such as depression, anxiety, suicide attempts, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) . . . than do heterosexual and cisgender individuals” (Mustanski et al., 2016, p. 527).

Contributors include internalized homophobia, stigma consciousness, identity concealment, and experiences of heterosexism and victimization. (Heterosexism is the sociological term for discrimination or prejudice against gay people by heterosexuals who assume heterosexuality is the normal sexual orientation).

Sexual and gender-identity minorities are disproportionately subject to bullying, harassment, and other peer victimization (Berlan et al., 2010; Reisner et al., 2015). The LGBTQ+ community is “one of the most targeted communities by perpetrators of hate crimes in the country” (NAMI, 2020b, p. 1). 

Because of the greater risk of victimization in LGBT individuals compared with heterosexuals starting as early as adolescence, research is needed that examines how trajectories of sexual orientation-based victimization across development influence the risk for mental health problems for LGBT people. (Mustanski et al., 2016, p. 528)

Public Opinion 

Although recognition, attributions, and service use may reflect prejudice associated with mental illness, the heart of stigma lies in social acceptance” (Pescosolido, 2013, p. 8). The image of the dangerous, unpredictable, mentally ill person is still widely endorsed by the public (Corrigan & Watson, 2002; Pinfold et al., 2005).

Stuart and Arboleda-Flórez (2012) analyzed two surveys (1990/2006) on public perception. They found, “between 80-100 percent of respondents . . . favoured involuntary hospitalization for that disorder when they thought that violence was an issue” (p. 7).

Attitudes toward sexual and gender-based identity became substantially more accepting between the 1970s, with the most significant shift among 18- to 29-year-olds (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018; Dodge et al., 2016). “It is clear that Americans have become more accepting of same-sex sexual behavior and relationships, but it is unclear how universal those changes are and whether they are due to age, time period, or cohort” (Twenge et al., 2016, p. 10).

Persons tend to be more supportive, in part, “because gay men and lesbians are then seen as less responsible for their orientation” (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018, p. 4). An overwhelming share (92%) of the U.S. LGBTQ+ community believes “society has become more accepting of them in the past decade and expect it to grow even more accepting in the decade ahead” (Pew, 2020, p 1).

However, many rights and benefits afforded to LGBTQ+ individuals depend on region, race and ethnicity, political persuasion, educational attainment, economics, and religiosity (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018; Dodge et al., 2016; UW-Madison, 2020).

Religion is strongly associated with negative beliefs about the justifiability of LGBTQ+ “sexual behavior and marriage” (Twenge et al., 2016, p. 8). The degree of intolerance is denominational and depends on the frequency of attendance. Jews and moderate-to-liberal protestants are more tolerant than Baptists, fundamentalists, and Catholics (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018; Schnabel, 2016). The Pew (2020) study shows that 29% of LGBTQ+ persons have felt unwelcome in a place of worship.

Heterosexual women consistently demonstrate more positive attitudes toward sexual and gender minority groups than heterosexual men, who are “traditionally expected to more rigidly conform to gender explicitly heteronormative norms and stereotypes” (Dodge et al., 2016, p. 4).

Attitudes toward lesbians and gay men are significantly more positive than attitudes toward transgender people (Adamcyzk & Liao, 2018; Lewis et al., 2017), whereas “bisexual individuals commonly report experiencing stigma, prejudice, and discrimination from both heterosexual and gay/lesbian individuals” (Dodge et al., 2016, p. 1).

Education and interpersonal contact mitigate prejudicial attitudes and behaviors toward both the mentally disordered and LGBTQ+ individuals. Contact-based education has emerged as the most influential factor in public attitudes and behaviors toward people with mental health problems (Pinfold et al., 2005; Corrigan, 2006).

“Multiple studies have found that knowing someone who is LGBTQ+ is associated with more supportive attitudes” (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018, p. 10) and “may increase knowledge, reduce anxiety, and increase empathy” (Lewis et al., 2017, p. 862). This benefit has not extended to transgender people, likely because “personal contact is relatively small” (Lewis et al., 2017, p. 871).

According to the Pew Research Center (Pew, 2020), 30% of the LGBTQ+ community reported being threatened or physically attacked, 21% were treated unfairly by an employer, and 58% were the target of slurs or jokes. Heterosexism operates at individual, familial, institutional, employment, political, and cultural levels and is openly evident in educational, career, religious, and social settings (Bandermann, 2014; Lewis et al., 2017).

While public opinion has improved significantly for the LGBTQ+ community, the perception of the mentally disordered person as dangerous and unpredictable, who should be isolated, has not changed substantially in decades (Stuart & Arboleta-Flórez, 2012). A primary goal of wellness models is to mitigate mental health stigma by changing public perspectives. 

Media Representation 

A 2011 study revealed that nearly half of U.S. media stories on mental illness mention or allude to violence (Pescosolido, 2013). News and social media, propelled by far-right politics, fundamentalism, and other fringe organizations, contribute to discrimination and prejudice.

Analysis of film, television, and tabloid presentations identifies three common misconceptions: people with mental illness are homicidal maniacs, they have childlike perceptions of the world that should be marveled at, or they are rebellious, free spirits (Corrigan, 2006).

Portrayals of sexual and gender-based identity in the latter half of the 20th century were, generally, stereotypical exaggerations. “Beginning in the 1990s, some highly likable gay and lesbian television and media characters began to appear in the media” (Adamczyk & Liao, 2018, p. 10).

Still, there is an abundance of gay-themed portrayals designed to arouse feelings of shock, betrayal, and titillation. Media coverage commonly promotes images that negatively impact the self-beliefs and image of LGBTQ+ and mentally ill persons.

Family Rejection

Family-stigmatization is the rejection of an LGBTQ+ or mentally dysfunctional child or sibling. A 2008 literature review found that around 38% of family members “attempt to hide their relationship to avoid bringing shame to the family” (Stuart & Arboleda-Flórez, 2012, p. 8). Another study showed that 34% of LGBTQ+ persons reported rejection by family members, 49% reported unfair treatment, and “52% were subject to anti-gay remarks from family members” (Bandermann, 2014, p. 3).

The implication of familial undesirability impacts a mentally disordered and LGBTQ+ person’s sense of positive self, a devaluation more potentially “life-limiting and disabling than the illness itself” (Stuart & Arboleda-Flórez, 2012, p. 3). “The experience of rejection magnifies the difficulties of living with psychiatric distress” (Gray, 2002), which can lead to psychological and physiological health issues, substance abuse, and addiction.

Etiology and Misdiagnoses

Etiology and diagnosis drive the disease model. Which disorder do people find most repulsive, and which poses the most threat? What behaviors contribute to the disorder? How progressive is the disorder, and how effective are treatments? (Corrigan, 2006). It is essential to recognize how these attributions affect public perception, treatment options, and client self-beliefs and image.

“Until the 1950s, most homosexual persons studied by psychologists and others were prisoners or mental patients, so it was easy to conclude that these were linked” (McFarland, 2018, p. 1). In 1973, the APA announced homosexuality was no longer an illness. DSM diagnostic criteria change dramatically from one edition to the next.

Lynam and Vachon (2012) cite therapists’ concern that criteria are “added, removed, and rewritten, without evidence that the new approach is better than the prior one” (p. 483). The social fears described in the DSM-II in 1968 became social phobia in the DSM-III (1980), and social anxiety disorder in 1994’s DSM-IV, resulting in the nickname, the ‘neglected anxiety disorder.’

Revisions, substitutions, and contradictions between DSMs are never universally accepted. Even under the best circumstances with a knowledgeable and caring clinician, it is difficult to obtain a proper mental disorder diagnosis. In addition to the nine types of depression, four anxieties, and eight obsessive-compulsive disorders, the current DSM lists five types of stress response and ten personality disorders, each sharing similar traits and symptomatology with varying degrees of impact.

Bipolar personality disorder, for example, shares characteristics and symptoms with generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and panic disorder (Sagman & Tohen, 2009).

The most common comorbidities associated with anxiety are major depression, panic disorder, posttraumatic stress disorder, and alcohol abuse/dependence. For example, social anxiety disorder is often comorbid with avoidant personality disorder, eating disorders, schizophrenia (Cuncic, 2018; Vrbova et al., 2017), ADHD, and agoraphobia (Koyuncu et al., 2019).

Self-Esteem

Abraham Maslow’s (1943/1954) hierarchy of needs shows how childhood disturbance can disrupt natural human development. Healthy growth requires satisfying fundamental physiological and psychological needs. The experience of detachment, exploitation, or neglect may disable the subject from meeting their physiological and safety needs and/or the need to belong and experience love, thereby affecting the acquisition of self-esteem. 

If the child is criticized, overly controlled, or not given the opportunity to assert itself, it begins to feel insecure in its ability to survive, and may then become overly dependent on others, develop low self-esteem, and experience a sense of shame or doubt in its own abilities. (Vanderheiden & Mayer, 2017, p. 15)

Research on people with depression and anxiety shows that the disease model “diminishes hope, self-esteem, self-efficacy, empowerment, and quality of life” (Garg and Raj, 2019, p. 124). LGBTQ+ youth rejected because of their identity have lower self-esteem, are more isolated, and receive less support than those accepted by their families (House, 2018). 

Self-esteem determines one’s relation to self, to others, and the world. Self-esteem is the umbrella for all the positive self-qualities that structure optimal functioning, e.g., self-respect, resilience, efficacy, reliance, compassion, value, worth, and other intrinsic wholesome attributes. It provides the recognition that one is consequential and worthy of love.

A grassroots poll by Unite UK (2016) found that 62% of LGBTQ+ persons believe they have low self-esteem. Exposure to historical alienation, ambiguous public opinion, adolescent bullying, heterosexualism, and other harmful elements, in time, will have an impact on an LGBTQ+ person’s self-beliefs and image (Unite UK, 2016).

Recovery

Recovery is an individual process. Humans have unique DNA and disparate sensibilities, memories, and abilities. One-size-fits-all approaches are inadequate to fully address the dynamic complexity of a person’s personality and the uniqueness of their owner. Mental illness is ubiquitous and non-discriminating; dysfunction embraces every walk of life. As well, “the LGBTQ+ community encompasses a wide range of individuals with separate and overlapping challenges regarding their mental health” (NAMI, 2020b, p. 1).

Recovery is “about seeing people beyond their problems – their abilities, possibilities, interests, and dreams – and recovering the social roles and relationships that give life value and meaning” (Slade, 2010, p. 2). Recovery programs must be fluid, integrating multiple traditional and non-traditional approaches developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation.

Any analysis must consider the subject’s environment, hermeneutics, history, and autobiography alongside their wants, beliefs, and aspirations. Otherwise, the complexity of personality is not valued, and the treatment is inadequate.

Positive Psychology and the Wellness Model

In 2004, the World Health Organization began promoting the advantages of the wellness perspective, declaring health “a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity” (Slade, 2010, p. 1).

The World Psychiatric Association states, “the promotion of well-being is among the mental health system” (Schrank et al., 2014, p. 98). As psychologists point out, “psychological well-being is viewed as not only the absence of mental disorder but also the presence of positive psychological resources” (Sin & Lyubomirsky, 2009, p. 468). 

The wellness model’s chief facilitator is positive psychology (PP), which originated with Maslow’s (1943/1954) seminal texts on humanism; APA president Seligman legitimized it in 1998. Positive psychology and other optimistic approaches focus on the inherent ability, “not only to endure and survive, but also to flourish” (Mayer & May, 2019, p. 160). 

Positive psychology is a relatively new field (since 1998) that, ostensibly, complements rather than replaces traditional psychology. Defined as the science of optimal functioning, PP’s objective is “to study, identify and amplify the strengths and capacities that individuals, families, and society need to thrive” (Carruthers & Hood, 2004, p. 30). Cultural psychologist Levesque (2011) describes optimal functioning as the study of how individuals strive to realize their potential and become the best they can be.

Research supports the use of positive psychological constructs, theories, and interventions to enhance understanding and improve mental health. PP interventions have “improved wellbeing and decreased psychological distress in mildly depressed individuals, in patients with mood and depressive disorders, [and] in patients with psychotic disorders” (Chakhssi et al., 2018, p. 16).

As Carruthers and Hood (2004) point out, “The things that allow people to experience deep happiness, wisdom, and psychological, physical and social wellbeing are the same strengths that buffer against stress and physical and mental illness” (p. 30).

The academic discipline of positive psychology continues to develop evidence-based interventions that focus on eliciting positive feelings, cognitions, or behaviors (Schotanus-Dijkstra et al., 2018). Positive psychology offers promising interventions “to support recovery in people with common mental illness, and preliminary evidence suggests it can also be helpful for people with more severe mental illness” (Schrank et al., 2014, p. 99). 

Positive Psychology 2.0

One of the early challenges of positive psychology was its neglect of the negative aspects of character. Recognizing this, psychologists advocated a more holistic approach that embraces the dialectical opposition of human experience. As one psychologist put it, “people are not just pessimists or optimists. They have complex personality structures” (Miller, 2008, p. 598). Positive Psychology 2.0 (PP 2.0) emerged as a corrective to the singular focus on optimism, embracing a more inclusive and balanced perspective (Rashid et al., 2014).

The disease model of mental health bases recovery on the remission of symptoms or the suspension of substantial interference or limitation (ADAMHA, 2012; Salzer et al., 2018). The wellness model maintains that individuals with a mental disorder can live satisfying and fulfilling lives regardless of symptoms or impairments associated with the diagnosis (Slade, 2010).

Schrank et al. (2014) describe recovery as people “(re-) engaging in their life on the basis of their own goals and strengths and finding meaning and purpose through constructing and reclaiming a valued identity and valued social roles” (p. 98). By emphasizing wellness over dysfunction, the positive psychology movement aims to destigmatize mental illness by emphasizing “the positive while managing and transforming the negative to increase wellbeing” (Mayer & May, 2019, p. 163). Perkins and Repper (2003, p. 3) write: 

People with mental illness who are in recovery are those who are actively engaged in working away from Floundering (through hope-supporting relationships) and Languishing (by developing a positive identity), and towards Struggling (through Framing and self-managing the mental illness) and Flourishing (by developing valued social roles).  

Concluding Thoughts

Thomas Insel (2013), director of the National Institute of Mental Health, is “re-orienting its research away from DSM categories” (p. 2) and has declared that traditional psychiatric diagnoses have outlived their usefulness (Kinderman, 2014). NIMH is transforming diagnosis based on emerging research data and the doctor-patient communication dynamic rather than on current symptom-based categories. Kinderman (2014) suggests replacing traditional diagnoses with easily understandable descriptions of the issues.

A simple list of people’s problems (properly defined) would have greater scientific validity and would be more than sufficient as a basis for individual care planning and the design and planning of services. (1)

There are many approaches to recovery. Psychology textbook author, Farreras (2020) cites 400 different schools of psychotherapy. Mayer and May (2019) characterize current positive psychology as “a balanced, interactive, meaning-centered and cross-cultural perspective” (p. 156) that considers equally “positive emotions and strengths and negative symptoms and disorders” (Rashid et al., 2014, p. 162).

Positive psychology works best in conjunction with other programs, and its mental health interventions have proved successful in mitigating symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other disorders. “Growing research suggests that a positive psychological outlook not only improves ‘life outcomes’ but enhances health directly” (Easterbrook, 2001, p. 23).

In mental health, recovery remission is the sustained, long-term alleviation of symptoms. Wellness impacts more than mental health; it is a paradigmatic perspective that seeks to promote a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being.

Its sociological emphasis on optimal human functioning, designed to counter the pathographic focus of other models, not only positively impacts the self-beliefs and image of a mentally ill person but also resonates in sexual and gender-based identities and portends well for the recovery-remission of an LGBTQ+ person with a mental illness.

Training in prosocial behavior and emotional literacy might be useful supplements to specific interventions. Behavioral exercises enhance the execution of resilient and generous social skills. Positive affirmations have enormous subjective value as well. Data support mindfulness and acceptance-based interventions to re-engage and regenerate positive thoughts, feelings, and memories.

Castella et al. (2014) suggest motivational enhancement strategies to help clients overcome resistance. Ritter et al. (2013) tout the benefits of positive autobiography to counter destructive thoughts and behaviors. The importance of considering the nuanced and unique dynamics inherent in the relationships among emotional expression, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction for dysfunctional individuals and LGBTQ+ persons should be thoroughly investigated (Montesi et al., 2013).

However, this paper balks at throwing out the baby with the bathwater, positing that the current diagnostic system should be utilized as a part of a more thorough analysis that embraces communication and emphasizes the character strengths that generate motivation, persistence, and perseverance towards recovery-remission. All “patients with mental disorders deserve better” (Insel, 2013, p. 2).

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Rechanneling.org | Social anxiety Recovery Workshops With Dr. Robert F. Mullen

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.        

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness. 

Emotional Well-Being Dictates Boundaries

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Emotional Well-Being Dictates Boundaries
Royalty Free and AI: Emotional Well-Being Dictates Boundaries

The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms experienced. Not everyone is affected in the same way; the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary greatly from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This reality highlights the complex nature of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery mechanisms must address not only social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, but also the multiple related conditions that often coexist. When recovery methods are discussed for one of these conditions, they are intended to apply to all three.

__________

A Survivor's Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Emotional Well-Being Dictates Boundaries

Boundaries are the standards of treatment we believe we are entitled to. They define what behaviors toward us are acceptable or unacceptable. Boundaries shield us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations. They allow us to assert our identity, advance our goals and objectives, and prevent others from manipulating, exploiting, or taking advantage of us. In essence, they give us the power to shape our own lives.

Cumulative evidence shows that a toxic childhood is a significant contributor to emotional instability and insecurity, laying the groundwork for social anxiety and related conditions. Children who have endured emotional neglect or trauma often carry this burden into adulthood, making it challenging to set boundaries.

Our social anxiety can profoundly affect our ability to express ourselves. The fear of criticism and ridicule can breed an obsessive concern with others’ opinions. This desire for acceptance often overshadows our need to assert our conditions for security and happiness. The fear of upsetting or distancing others can further inhibit our ability to set boundaries.

It’s not uncommon for us to create codependent relationships. In these situations, our low self-esteem and craving for approval can lead us to attach ourselves to controlling or manipulative individuals, becoming overly dependent on them for a sense of worth.

Relationship Boundaries

Our social impotence often leads us to believe that setting boundaries hinders our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. We fear that asserting ourselves will lead to rejection and isolation. These negative thoughts lead us to believe that setting boundaries will only worsen our loneliness.

Rather than saying no, we overextend ourselves, putting others’ needs above our own, leaving us feeling inferior, resentful, and exploited. Learning to say no can bring a sense of relief, easing the burden of constantly putting others’ needs before our own.

Boundaries are the foundation of all healthy relationships. They don’t distance us from others but bring us closer by clearly defining our personal values. By setting boundaries, we encourage open communication, ensuring that we live in alignment with our own needs and values while respecting those of others.

SAD’s Impact on Boundaries

Our condition has negatively affected our emotional well-being and quality of life since childhood.Our obsession with our performance and shortcomings consistently reminds us of our imperfections. And our self-critical analysis provokes feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness.

The long and short of it is that we want to be loved, and we don’t believe we are because we are unworthy. In pursuing perfectionism, we often become consummate enablers and codependents, compensating for our feelings of undesirability and worthlessness. We allow ourselves to be bullied and taken advantage of, seeking affirmation and appreciation. Understanding that this pattern of behavior harms our well-being and relationships is crucial.

Boundaries not only establish the standard of treatment we believe we are entitled to but also empower us. They protect our personal or mental space, like fences that give neighbors privacy and help them feel safe. Boundaries are the physical and emotional limits of appropriate behavior between people. They help define where one person ends, and another begins.

Setting boundaries can be particularly daunting for those grappling with issues of self-worth. The fear of rejection and isolation often hinders our ability to assert ourselves. However, there are strategies we can employ. We can learn to prioritize our needs and avoid feelings of inferiority, resentment, and aloneness.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga

Personal and Emotional Boundaries.

Let’s focus on the eight personal and emotional boundaries that affect our well-being. Since they don’t all affect each of us, it is expedient to focus on those that do.

PHYSICAL: This includes bodily autonomy and personal space. Healthy boundaries define our comfort zone. We might say, “I prefer not to hug people,” to set a physical boundary. “It’s a personal choice” or “It’s a cultural thing.”

INTELLECTUAL/MENTAL: This comprises our ideas, beliefs, and thoughts. A thoughtful boundary recognizes that others’ ideas may differ. When someone dismisses, belittles, or invalidates our ideas or thoughts, they ignore our intellectual boundaries. It’s better to say, “I appreciate your opinion, but I don’t fully support it.” or “Let’s agree to disagree.”

EMOTIONS: Our feelings and personal details are part of emotional boundaries. When someone criticizes, minimizes, or shares our feelings or personal information without our permission, they violate our emotional boundaries. This can lead to feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, and emotional distress.

MATERIAL/FINANCIAL: When we feel pressured to lend or give things away or to spend money when we prefer not to, our boundaries for financial resources and belongings are breached. We should be able to say, “I’m on a tight budget. I prefer to share expenses this evening.”

INTERNAL/SELF REGULATING: Occasionally, we prioritize the energy we expend on others over our personal needs. An acceptable response might be, “I’ve been working all week. I need time to recoup and spend quality time with myself.”

CONVERSATIONAL: Topics we may or may not feel comfortable discussing. “I am unwilling to discuss this and would rather not be part of this conversation.”

TIME: When we juggle a job, relationships, children, or other responsibilities, it’s challenging to maintain healthy time boundaries. These boundaries are crossed when others make unreasonable demands or requests for our time. It is prudent to avoid overextending ourselves by being assertive from the get-go. “I can only stay for half an hour. I have another commitment this evening.”

SEXUAL: Sexual boundaries consist of our intimate personal space. They include choices around types of sexual activity, timing, and partners. When someone pressures us into unwanted or unwarranted intimacy, touching, or sexual activity, or when someone expresses hostility toward our choices, they are invading our sexual boundaries.

Healthy Boundaries

We establish and maintain healthy boundaries when we:

  1. Retain the ability to decline anything we don’t want to do.
  2. Express our feelings responsibly.
  3. Talk about our shared experiences freely and honestly.
  4. Set our boundaries in the moment.
  5. Address problems directly with the person involved rather than with a third party.
  6. Make our expectations clear. It is irrational to assume people will figure them out.
  7. Be able to say “no” comfortably and accept when someone else says “no.”
  8. Communicate our wants and needs clearly.
  9. Honor and respect the needs of others without compromising our own.
  10. Respect others’ values, beliefs, and opinions, even if they differ from ours.

Unhealthy Boundaries

When boundaries are unhealthy, the relationship’s safety is compromised. This safety lapse may lead to dysfunctional relationships in which needs remain unmet. Here are some examples where we have failed to set appropriate boundaries. When we:

  1. Find it challenging to say “no” or have difficulty accepting “no” from others.
  2. Neglect to communicate our needs and wants clearly.
  3. Easily compromise our personal values, beliefs, and opinions to satisfy others.
  4. Become coercive or manipulative to persuade others to do something they don’t want.
  5. Unwittingly overshare personal information.
Rechanneling.org | Social anxiety Recovery Workshops With Dr. Robert F. Mullen

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It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.
– Nick P.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an empowering act rooted in self-awareness. It’s about being transparent about our expectations of ourselves and others, as well as what makes us uncomfortable in specific situations. This process requires strong communication skills that convey assertiveness and clarity. Most importantly, it’s a testament to our self-esteem, affirming that our interests are valued and that we are in control of our lives.

Assertiveness is not about making demands but about expressing our feelings openly and respectfully. It’s a communication style that encourages people to truly listen to us, fostering understanding and respect. It’s always done in a positive light, free from hostility. Setting healthy boundaries is about asserting our needs and priorities, a crucial form of self-care that respects our worth and ensures we are understood and valued.

Here are a few things to consider when we set our boundaries:

  • Understand Our Motivations. Why do we need to set this boundary?
  • Set a Clear Goal. What is the outcome we want to achieve in setting this boundary?
  • Be Courageous. There are repercussions to setting boundaries because people, in general, are defensive.
  • Be Aware. Setting boundaries can be challenging and uncomfortable.
  • Prepare and Practice.  If verbalizing a boundary makes us nervous, we can write out what we want to say beforehand.
  • Keep It Simple. Less is more when it comes to communicating our boundaries. It’s prudent not to overload someone with too many details.
  • Be Kind to yourself and others.
Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

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Rechanneling.org | Social anxiety Recovery Workshops With Dr. Robert F. Mullen

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO RELEVANT AND ESSENTIAL?  ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, leveraging neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.   

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uncomfortable in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent from group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Blame and Forgiveness in Recovery

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F. Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Blame and Forgiveness in Recovery
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The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.

Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.

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A Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Blame and Forgiveness in Recovery

The urge to assign blame reinforces our anxiety and depression, as it justifies our insecurities and judgmentalism. Unless addressed and resolved, this pattern of blaming can have significant adverse effects on our psychological well-being.

Blaming Others for Our Abuse

It is natural and understandable to blame others when we feel harmed. Yet, as Buddhaghosa reminds us in The Path of Purification, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; we are the ones who get burned[1].” The only person who truly suffers from these noxious emotions is the one who has been wronged.

Those responsible for the harm are frequently unaware, indifferent, or have forgotten their actions. If they don’t acknowledge their role, they leave the injured party bearing the burden of unresolved anger and resentment. Persistently clinging to these hostile emotions is irrational, as it congests our minds with unnecessary negativity.

Seeking Perspective and Understanding

When forgiveness is difficult, it is prudent to consider the situation from the other person’s perspective. What circumstances were they facing? What external factors may have influenced their actions? And what part did we play in the unfolding of events?  Thoughtful introspection will help answer these questions.

Every story has multiple sides. Considering alternative perspectives can deepen our understanding of the perpetrators’ motivations and the pressures confronting them.

Assessing these factors does not excuse harmful behavior, but it can facilitate absolution. Forgiving is not an act of weakness; rather, it is a decision that frees us from the need for retaliation, dissolves the cycle of victimization, and enables us to shape our future by resolving past adversity.

Blaming Ourselves for Hurting Others

Taking responsibility for harming another person is a healthy and vital process. While we can’t undo past actions, we can learn from them, commit to avoiding similar actions, and move forward. Self-forgiveness involves letting go of the shame and guilt we create by our actions and reclaiming control over future behaviors.

Forgiving is a powerful act of self-healing. In many cases, our own wrongdoing impacts us more deeply than the victim, and is only reconcilable by accepting responsibility, making amends, either directly or indirectly, and ultimately forgiving ourselves.

The Unique Impact of Self-Blame

Self-blame is particularly damaging for those of us struggling with social anxiety, as it reinforces our sense of unworthiness. This mindset fosters self-pity, contempt, and other self-sabotaging behaviors that erode our self-esteem.

It diminishes our personal value, perpetuating the belief that we are unworthy of care and concern. Such self-directed hostility intensifies our anxiety and inflicts deep psychological wounds.

Forgiveness for self-blame is the most challenging form of forgiveness because our condition tells us we are inferior and worthless. However, clinging to self-pity allows these harmful beliefs to dominate our thoughts and actions. By forgiving ourselves for our fallibility and self-abuse, we can quiet our social anxiety and continue to heal.

Blame and Social Anxiety

We are not responsible for our condition, which should nullify self-blame. Blaming our parents or genetics serves little purpose. , We cannot alter the past.

 Recovery is about focusing on the present and its influence on the future. While the past is not insignificant, it does not directly address our current fears and anxieties. We learn from the past; we do not live in it.

Bad Tenants

By withholding forgiveness, we allow both the person who wronged us and the wrong itself to occupy valuable space in our brains. Persistent and unwelcome “bad tenants” depreciate our quality of life.

We should use this mental real estate for growth and productivity. Our neural network has less capacity for healthy input until we make room for positive reinforcement and constructive change.

Holding onto self-sabotaging emotions further aggravates our anxiety and depression. This emotional toxicity compels us toward irrational behaviors that diminish our self-esteem.

Misdirected Blaming

External

External blaming, or externalization, occurs when we attribute responsibility for our own actions to outside forces. Rather than acknowledging our own role in adverse outcomes, we place the blame elsewhere. When our social anxiety makes managing stressful situations overwhelming, it becomes emotionally easier to fault outside sources rather than assume responsibility.

For example, failing an exam might lead us to blame the instructor for perceived bias, rather than acknowledge our insufficient preparation. Similarly, arriving late to work may prompt us to blame traffic, although the real cause is our hangover. These examples illustrate external blaming, where we avoid personal accountability by focusing on false factors.

Internal

Internal blaming, or internalization, happens when we take responsibility for problems that we did not cause and over which we have no control. Our struggle with low self-esteem generated by SAD can make us feel inferior or inadequate, leading us to blame ourselves for situations beyond our influence.

For instance, if a dinner guest seems unenthusiastic, we might question our cooking or hosting skills rather than consider other explanations. Similarly, if a roommate is facing personal issues, we may convince ourselves that their problems stem from something we did or said. 

Relying on the behaviors of others for our sense of worth and identity establishes an unhealthy codependency.


Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the
pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate,
repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)   

Letting Go: The Path to Recovery

Recovery is only possible when we let go of negative self-perceptions, unrealistic expectations, and harmful beliefs. This process frees us from the ongoing cycle of shame, guilt, and other adverse emotions that keep us trapped in the past.

Forgiving opens us to new possibilities, allowing us to move forward unencumbered by previous mistakes and trauma. Through self-liberation, we create space for new ideas and personal growth.

Forgiving Is Not Forgetting

Forgiveness is an essential tool for expelling negativity. We cannot hope to function optimally without forgiving ourselves and others whose actions affect our emotional well-being. Offensive behaviors may seem indefensible, but forgiveness is a crucial step on our journey toward healing and acceptance.

Forgiving does not mean forgetting or condoning harmful actions. It does not excuse the perpetrator or the deed. Our noble self chooses to forgive, while our pragmatic self remembers. Blaming ourselves or others for harmful behaviors may sometimes be justified, but holding onto the residual emotions is self-destructive.

As Mahatma Gandhi once observed, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

By committing to change and embracing our role as architects of our own growth, we reap the rewards of personal transformation. Through forgiveness, we free ourselves to move forward and cultivate a more balanced and harmonious life.

When left unresolved, three types of resentments adversely impact our psychological well-being by sustaining our victimization and abuse.

  1. Mistreatment of us by others.
  2. Mistreatment of others by us.
  3. Mistreatment we inflict on ourselves. 

In each instance, we are victims and abusers. Victimized by the transgression against us, we self-abuse with our anger and resentment. When we transgress, we abuse the victim and victimize ourselves with our shame and guilt.

The victimization we embrace when we harm ourselves is aparticularly insidious form of emotional self-abuse. Victims are likely to experience depression and anxiety, which aggravate and perpetuate our condition.

We retain an abundance of destructive information formed by our negative trajectory. Much of this information stems from the unresolved debris of negative emotions that adversely affect our emotional well-being. 

They influence our thoughts, behaviors, and relationships. When unresolved, they continue to permeate our neural network with negative energy and obstruct recovery.

Mistreatment by Others

We often hold onto anger and resentment because we convince ourselves that they impact those who harmed us. However, the perpetrators are obliviously unaware of, have forgotten, or take no responsibility for their mistreatment. The only person affected, then, is the injured party. 

Forgiving removes our need for blaming; it mitigates our vindictiveness

Mistreatment of Others

Forgiving ourselves for harming another is accepting and releasing the toxicity of our actions. Our mistreatment not only impacts the recipient but our emotional well-being as well. We feel guilt for hurting them and shame for being the type of person who would cause harm. 

It is prudent to remain mindful that the emotional upheaval provoked by our social anxiety can contribute to the cycle of abuse common in such situations. The mistreated often displace their mistreatment or unconsciously hurt others as a result of their pain.

These self-destructive emotions are resolved by accepting responsibility and our humanness, making amends, and forgiving ourselves. When making personal amends is unfeasible, performing a random act of kindness or other compassionate social behavior alleviates our shame and guilt. 

Self-Transgression

Self-transgression is particularly destructive. It defines us as deserving of abuse. Self-pity, contempt, and other hyphenated forms of sabotage devalue our self-esteem. Forgiving the self is challenging for those of us with social anxiety because of our negative self-appraisal.

Anxiety and depression make us feel helpless, worthless, and undesirable. A worthless individual feels undeserving of forgiveness, a helpless one lacks fortitude, and one without hope has no reason to forgive. However, the act is necessary to rebuild our self-esteem.


A Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety With Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.
 – Nick P.

Freeing Up Space for New Growth

Our brain’s neural network is inundated with negative information from childhood disturbance, negative core and intermediate beliefs, low self-esteem, negativity bias, and social anxiety – not to mention the constant adversity of world events and society in general. 

One of the key strategies in our recovery journey is to flood our neural network with rapid, concentrated positive stimulation. This is crucial to counterbalance the overwhelming negative information that often dominates our thoughts. By evicting the hostile tenants of negative beliefs and self-esteem issues, we create space for new, healthier thought patterns. And forgiveness, my friends, is the key that unlocks this door to freedom. 

Retaining the toxicity of our self-destructive emotions aggravates our anxiety and depression, compelling behavioral issues, avoidance, and other personality shortfalls that can severely jeopardize intimacy and other forms of relationships. 

Recovery from social anxiety and related conditions requires letting go of our negative self-analysis, expectations, and beliefs. It opens our minds to new ideas and concepts. Holding onto shame, guilt, and other hostile self-indulgences keeps us imprisoned in the past. Forgiving opens us to new possibilities unencumbered by prior acts. 

Forgiving takes work. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

Forgiving is Not Forgetting

We cannot hope to function optimally without absolving ourselves and others whose actions impaired our emotional well-being. They may seem indefensible, but forgiving is purely subjective. It is for our well-being.

Let’s be clear: forgiveness is not about forgetting or condoning. It’s not about excusing the transgressor or the transgression. It’s about reclaiming our power. Our noble self forgives; our pragmatic self remembers and remains mindful of the circumstance. This is the true essence of forgiveness.

Holding ourselves or others accountable for harmful behavior is a justifiable response. Clinging to the corresponding anger and resentment is self-destructive. We forgive to promote change within ourselves, and, as architects, we reap the rewards. 

Stand Outside of the Bullseye

Our social anxiety compels us to personalize, inhibiting consideration of alternative viewpoints. Cognitive distortions close our eyes to options that conflict with our self-centered point of view. We neglect to consider the multiple perspectives of every situation. 

When we find it challenging to forgive someone, it is helpful to consider the larger narrative. Stepping outside of the bullseye not only broadens our understanding of the perpetrator’s motivations but also encourages us to evaluate their pressures, temperament, influence, and environment, fostering a more comprehensive perspective. 

While imperfect motivations may not justify or excuse the act, taking the time to understand the intent can empower us, alleviating residual hostility and making us feel less victimized. 

Write a Forgiveness Letter

Many experts endorse the psychological benefits of writing a forgiveness letter, sharing our perspective of the event. The letter describes in detail the injury or offense. How did it make us feel? What are its residual effects? How did it impact our relationship with the perpetrator? 

How would we have approached the situation? What would we have done differently to mitigate its emotional impact? What is our responsibility?

The act of forgiving mitigates our obsession with the incident and our resentment, shame, and guilt. However, it is inadvisable to send the letter for a variety of reasons. This is a subjective exercise that promotes personal growth and emotional well-being.

Whether we journal or write a letter to ourselves, the key is to approach it with self-compassion. This practice allows us to recognize and accept our imperfections, fostering a sense of understanding and acceptance. There is no logical reason to allow a past, intangible act to impede our growth. 

Why hold onto something emotionally disturbing from the past that cannot be altered? The past is immutable. We have no control over it. It is the here-and-now and how it reflects on the future that is of value. The only logical response is to accept that it happened and realize it has no material impact on the present unless we allow it to fester. It is time to let it go and move on.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Rechanneling.org | Dr. Robert F. Mullen

WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? 
ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, regardless of its size, supports individuals who strive to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, 
consequential, and deserving of happiness.