I want to start by thanking Dr. Robert F. Mullen for all his support over the years and for letting me takeover the blog today and share this post.
On the 5th of April, I published my debut novel Perfect, after a little over two years of working on it. Of course, this was a huge milestone and one that I was never too sure would actually happen for me. Why was I so skeptical? Two words- social anxiety.
Dr. Mullen has so many incredibly helpful and informative posts about social anxiety on this blog. I’ve been reading them for years. Not only did I find them encouraging, I also found his approach to be quite realistic. Blogs like this one encouraged me to turn my life around when I was at my lowest point.
Social anxiety had taken away so much of what I used to love. Everything I enjoyed no longer brought me joy but rather a feeling of constant unease and fear. That included writing.
However, once I began making a conscious effort to change how my mind worked, to stop letting anxiety be my default, it was like I slowly got my life back.
Finding My Way Back To Writing
I started getting back into hobbies I enjoyed such as writing. And two years ago, I published my very first book. A poetry collection called All The Words I Kept Inside. Of course, I was terrified to put such a personal collection out into the world. But the biggest lesson I’ve learnt over the years is that the fear is always going to be there when you do something big. You can’t live a life free of fear or anxiety because to an extent it serves a purpose in our life. What you can do, however, is live your life despite it.
Soon after my poetry collection was published, I began working on my very first novel. The plot was something I had thought about for years but had never built up the courage to actually write. I wrote, edited, wrote some more, edited some more. It took two years of constant edits but I finally finished it.
And today, I’m honoured to be able to share that book with all of you. Here’s a little more about the book.
Description
A mother protecting her son.
A boy spiraling into darkness.
A girl who never stood a chance
Sally thinks she’s succeeded in breaking generational curses until she finds out her eldest son, James, is the prime suspect in Lily Johnson’s murder. After years of bliss, she’s forced to revisit dark family secrets she believed she had left behind. Even more unsettling is that the deeper she digs, the more she realizes that she may not know James as well as she thought.
James is certainly not the perfect son his mother believes he is. In fact, he has always felt painfully different from everyone around him- until he meets Lily Johnson. Initially, their relationship seems flawless, but soon the cracks begin to show, leaving James questioning everything- including his own sanity and just how far he’ll go to protect the girl he loves.]
After her father’s death, Lily’s mother marries Paul- a man Lily despises. And if that wasn’t devastating enough, Paul moves their family to the small town he grew up in. They thought Lily would be safer there, but little did they know that the small town holds secrets none of them could have ever imagined. Secrets some would kill to protect. And Lily finds herself in the middle of it all.Perfect is an emotionally gripping psychological domestic thriller that explores the impact of dark family secrets and the generational trauma it leads to. It will have readers questioning how well any of us know those we love and how far we’re willing to go to protect them.
Purchasing Options
If you’re interested in purchasing the book, you can find it on Amazon:
If you’re reading this and struggle with anxiety, I just wanted to say that it is totally possible for you to live your absolute best life despite it. I know it’s difficult but please don’t let anxiety get the better of you. Keep trying to change your thought patterns, your thinking habits, and anything else that may be holding you back. You’ve got this.
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected the same way; the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This reality underscores the complex nature of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery mechanisms must address not only social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, but also the multiple related conditions that often coexist. When recovery methods are discussed for one of these conditions, they are intended to apply to all three.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Notes on Writing the Self-Help Book
I recently finished a guide for people experiencing social anxiety (social phobia, social anxiety disorder). As an academic writer, I was unprepared for the demands of writing a self-help book. The compassion, intimacy, and personal revelations needed to connect with the millions seeking ways to ease the burden of their condition were a difficult transition from the dispassionate, fact-driven culture of academia, to which I was accustomed.
Academia
Academic articles are distinguished by a highly structured, impersonal, evidence-based approach. Self-reference is verboten, and every study and theory must be supported by field experts. In popular parlance, it’s known as covering our asses. For example, my paper on the challenges of social anxiety in relationships contained over 90 references.
Academic papers are often redundant by design. We stand on the shoulders of giants to become giants ourselves. I’ve been fortunate to see my publications cited in multiple journals and books, indicating I’ve contributed to the field. But honestly, my academic contributions have mostly been rehashed, pedantic, and repetitive ideas and formulas aimed at a very exclusive audience.
Self-Improvement
Self-help or self-improvement books are meant to help readers overcome personal, mental, or emotional challenges without on-site professional assistance. Guides to recovery from social anxiety offer practical advice for handling stress, building resilience, changing habits, or reaching goals. Some use psychological research, while others rely on personal stories or study and experience.
Social Anxiety
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is manipulative and intractable, sustaining itself on the irrational thoughts and behaviors of the 360 million individuals worldwide who find themselves caught in its densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social and performance situations.
Statistics, limited as they are due to the fear of disclosure, claim that two of every five adults and adolescents experience some degree of social anxiety.
Self-help publications now make up a $41 billion-a-year global industry. There are innumerable books on social anxiety. So, what makes my upcoming book on recovery different from others of its ilk?
It’s Not Theoretical
It’s a practical, clear, and simple guide to traditional and non-traditional approaches. Developed and used successfully in our groups and workshops.
It is Not a One-Size-Fits-All Solution
Recovery draws from the rich diversity of human thought and experience, integrating science, psychology, philosophy. And, by extension, religious and spiritual insight.
For unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations, SAD is highly subjective, and treatment options must take this into account. It is, by nature, highly experiential.
The Personal Connection
I suffered from severe social anxiety disorder for the first half of my life. But through study, growth, and practice, I developed ways to recover. I am deeply familiar with the struggles and quirks of social anxiety.
The experiences, fears, and frustrations of my clients and colleagues are familiar to me because I have felt them too. We are the same. There is nothing that an individual conflicted with anxiety has thought, felt, considered or done that I haven’t experienced to some extent.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is manipulative and difficult to treat, driven by irrational thoughts and behaviors. Since the condition differs from other disorders due to its negative core and intermediate belief system, many traditional treatments are reasonably ineffective.
Many experts claim that recovery requires a specialized understanding of its manipulative and intractable forms of self-sabotage, which can only be provided by someone who has experienced it firsthand.
The Hollywood Connection
As a mediocre, former actor and playwright in the entertainment industry, much of my social anxiety was shaped by my interactions and experiences with the Hollywood hierarchy and personalities who shared similar struggles. Many are referenced in the book, though not disparagingly. Many, like Sal Mineo and Momma Cass, are no longer with us.
I am a very guarded and private person, probably because of my SAD-induced lingering fear of criticism, negative judgment, and ridicule. To show my understanding and compassion for others with the same condition, I felt it necessary to share my own faults, weaknesses, and failures—things I’ve rarely shared publicly. It was both terrifying and cathartic.
I was given many opportunities to succeed in the industry, but self-sabotage usually took precedence. I struggled to form, nurture, or sustain healthy relationships, but my social life mainly involved partying with B-list celebrities and insinuating myself into their success.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
The ChosenPath
At midlife, I chose a different path. I returned to university, earned my degrees, and became a behaviorist focusing on what is nicknamed the “neglected anxiety disorder,” because few therapists have the skills to treat the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder.
Committing to recovery is one of the most difficult challenges a socially anxious person can face. It demands a lot of courage and acceptance that they are valuable, important, and deserving of happiness. My primary goal is to support anyone with the commitment and determination to recover by helping them successfully overcome Aaron Beck’s three core negative beliefs: helplessness, hopelessness, and unlovability.
The fate of my venture into the self-help industry remains uncertain. Will it genuinely help anyone, or will it quickly end up in the Amazon dustbin? I’ve always believed in the often-cited proverb from the Torah, ‘Save one life, save the world,” so I believe the book has a reasonable chance of success.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
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Perfectionism and Unreasonable Expectations
Poor self-analysis compels us to overcompensate. Perfectionism is a byproduct of overcompensation. Perfectionism leads us to set unreasonable expectations.
None of us is perfect; we all have aspects we hide, fearing they may make us appear defective or inadequate. Ostensibly, we conceal these perceptual shortcomings or justify them through defense mechanisms such as repression and projection. Or we displace our anger, deny our faults, and rationalize our actions.
Living with persistent negative self-appraisal is emotionally destabilizing. People experiencing social anxiety crave connection with others, but fears of intimacy and rejection make it challenging to initiate, develop, and maintain healthy relationships. These insecurities compel us to create defense mechanisms to justify our avoidance.
Defense Mechanisms
Defense mechanisms are short-term psychological coping mechanisms that safeguard unresolved threats to our emotional well-being. They excuse the irrational thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that our conscious minds are currently unwilling or unable to manage.
Without coping mechanisms, healthy or otherwise, we risk decompensation—the inability or unwillingness to develop effective psychological alternatives to the symptoms of our condition, which can lead to personality disturbances or disintegration.
Nonetheless, defense mechanisms can be healthy tools for managing trauma and other distressful thoughts and behaviors until we are ready to resolve them.
Compensation
Compensation is a defense mechanism in which we overachieve in one area of our lives to compensate for perceived defects in another. For instance, someone who feels socially inadequate might become a performer, while a teenager may excel in sports to offset learning difficulties.
Compensation can be a powerful tool for personal growth when used appropriately. We counter negative thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with positive, productive ones. We compensate for low self-esteem by acknowledging our strengths, virtues, and achievements.
Overcompensation
Because we want to mitigate the pain of experiencing our condition as swiftly as possible, we overcompensate. We push the envelope. Overcompensation, especially when unconscious, often leads to adverse consequences such as burnout, strained relationships, and missed opportunities.
Moderation, as always, is the key.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Perfectionism
Overcompensation, a struggle many of us can relate to, often leads to the trap of perfectionism, which is not merely a desire to do well but a need to be flawless. Anything less feels unsatisfactory. Perfectionism is widespread among individuals experiencing social anxiety.
As perfectionists, we overreact when our expectations are unmet. We struggle to move forward when things do not go as planned. Research shows that individuals experiencing social anxiety have lower implicit and explicit self-esteem compared to healthy individuals. Perfectionists tend to experience higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of psychological well-being.
To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is catastrophic. We often engage in polarized thinking, viewing situations in extremes. Our colleagues are either for us or against us. The world is black or white, with no room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.
A Parallel Relationship
Perfectionism and social anxiety often go hand in hand.
Perfectionists and people with SAD tend to avoid situations that might lead to failure or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing something inappropriate, being criticized, or facing negative evaluations. These apprehensions only intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.
Our critical nature and fear of rejection often lead us to isolate ourselves, which affects our ability to connect with others and maintain satisfying relationships.
Our perfectionism drives us to set unreasonable expectations, such as performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and always being in control. These expectations are often impossible to achieve, resulting in further feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
Reasonable Expectations
An expectation is a strong emotional belief that something will happen in the future. When we set expectations, we become invested in the outcome. But what happens if our expectations are unmet? We psychologically attach ourselves to them because we have a stake in the result. In our minds, we perceive our expectations as happening. When things don’t go as planned, we typically respond with anger and disappointment.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Unmet Expectations
Disappointment is a powerful emotion. Experts describe the reaction to disappointment as a form of sadness – an expression of desperation or grief due to loss. While it’s true that we can’t lose what we never had, setting an unreasonable expectation makes it feel real, and we experience the loss intensely. This feeling can lead to depression, self-loathing, and symptoms associated with perfectionism and social anxiety.
How do we set reasonable expectations when our perfectionism demands the brass ring? It is human nature to aspire to excellence.
Determine Expectations Early On
Setting expectations carefully in advance allows us to plan strategies and coping mechanisms to help meet them. Expectations should be rational, reasonable, achievable, and constructive. For instance, an unreasonable expectation at a networking event would be to find the job of our dreams. On the other hand, a reasonable expectation could be to hand out our business card to a potential contact.
Going to a social event expecting to form a lasting relationship is also unrealistic. A more reasonable expectation would be to meet people who share similar interests.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
No matter how reasonably we set them, our expectations will occasionally be partially or wholly unmet. We may need to modify them to accommodate the situation, more practice, or an extension of our planned timeframe.
Reasonable expectations require flexibility. While we control our reactions and responses to situations, we are subject to external factors over which we have no control. This is part of the learning process. By reframing our perspective, we learn to recognize the positive aspects of experience.
Be Mindful of Distorted Thinking
People experiencing social anxiety are highly susceptible to cognitive distortions and other defense mechanisms. Recognizing, understanding, and accepting the self-destructive nature of these and other defense mechanisms is essential to recovery. This can be achieved through therapy, self-reflection, and mindfulness practices.
We can only reasonably set expectations for ourselves. Setting expectations of others will result in frustration and disappointment because we have no control over their outcome. It is called self-esteem, not other-esteem. We only have jurisdiction over subjective expectations.
Self-Appreciation
Self-appreciation is recognizing and enjoying our qualities and achievements. For every positive attempt or interaction, congratulate yourself. You deserve to experience the pride and satisfaction that accompany such efforts fully. Always be kind to yourself.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. If we are foolishly determined to fly, our wings will melt and hurl us back to earth. Reasonable expectations will keep us on the ground.
Recovery is a life’s work in progress. There is no absolute cure for social anxiety, no magic pill, but by practicing recovery tools over time, we experience an exponential and dramatic moderation of our symptoms. The key is always progress over perfection.
Perfectionism is a byproduct of overcompensation. Perfectionism leads us to set unreasonable expectations.
Reasonable expectations align our projections with the probability of success.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, regardless of its size, supports individuals who strive to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
___________________________
Positive Psychology Waves in Recovery
There are two distinct but potentially complementary methods of psychological healthcare. The “wellness model” and the pathographic or “disease model,” which remains the current predominant approach. Its clinical, impersonal methodology focuses on the biological and neurological origins of mental well-being, emphasizing the disease rather than the individual.
To balance this myopic perspective, we need to incorporate the more empathetic, personalized approach of the wellness model.
The wellness model seeks to balance the disease model’s myopic perspective by considering the individuals’ assets. Such as their character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. This model recognizes that a person’s condition is not simply a collection of negative traits. But rather a dynamic expression of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reflect their emotional, mental, and moral character, and subsequent mental health.
The disease model, often viewed as defect-oriented, sharply contrasts with the asset-oriented wellness model. Essentially, the disease model of mental health concentrates on identifying what is wrong with us. While the wellness model emphasizes what is right about us.
A coalescence of both approaches is the ideal solution.
Humanistic Psychology
Positive psychology (PP) serves as the cornerstone of the wellness model. It has its roots in humanistic psychology. Supported by early influential figures such as Emerson, Thoreau, Carl Rogers, and Abraham Maslow. Pioneers of current positive psychology include Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Carol Ryff, and Paul Wong.
Positive psychology provides essential elements for recovery from social anxiety and related conditions.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Humanistic Psychology
Humanistic psychology emphasizes the whole individual, stressing concepts such as free will, self-efficacy, and self-actualization. This approach fosters a holistic understanding of an individual, enabling them to live authentic and meaningful lives. It reminds us that we are not merely a collection of symptoms. But complex, unique individuals with the potential for growth and self-fulfillment, underlining the value of our individuality.
From Maslow to Seligman
Abraham Maslow first coined the term “positive psychology” in his 1954 seminal work, Motivation and Personality. He argued that psychology’s focus on disorder and dysfunction fails to capture human potential adequately. Maslow categorized human needs into five levels: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. He later expanded this hierarchy to include cognitive, aesthetic, and transcendence needs. Maslow’s hierarchy illustrates the importance of satisfying each level for psychological well-being and how each level influences the others.
Several decades later, Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyiintroduced the concept of optimal human functioning, which became the foundation of positive psychology. Seligman legitimized this field during his presidency of the American Psychological Association in 1998.
Interestingly, this development coincided with the publication of the 1984 fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (APA, 2014), which officially replaced the term “social phobia” with “social anxiety disorder (SAD).” The manual defined SAD as a “marked and persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or possible scrutiny by others.” This historical context laid the foundation for the common characteristics and traits associated with social anxiety disorder.
Positive Psychology Interventions
Research by Chakhssi et al. (2018) has shown that positive psychology interventions can improve well-being and decrease psychological distress in individuals with mild depression, mood disorders, and even psychotic disorders. Studies support the use of positive psychological constructs, theories, and interventions to better understand and improve mental health.
Intervention research has tested various approaches to promoting well-being. A recent study found that positive psychology interventions resulted in “significant improvements in mental well-being (from non-flourishing to flourishing mental health) while also decreasing both anxiety and depressive symptom severity” (Schotanus-Dijkstra et al., 2018).
Continuing research suggests that a positive psychological outlook can directly improve life outcomes and enhance health. A meta-analysis by Sin and Lyubomirsky (2009) of 51 studies involving 4,266 individuals demonstrated that positive psychology interventions significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.
The academic discipline of positive psychology continues to develop evidence-based interventions that foster positive feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. The aforementioned study by Chakhssi et al. (2018) indicated that positive psychology interventions “decreased psychological distress in individuals with mood and depressive disorders and in patients with psychotic disorders, improving quality of life and well-being.”
Positive psychology presents promising strategies “to support recovery in people with common mental illnesses, and preliminary evidence suggests it can also be beneficial for those with more severe mental conditions” (Schrank et al., 2014).
The positive psychology perspective asserts that individuals with a mental disorder can lead satisfying and fulfilling lives, regardless of the symptoms or impairments associated with their diagnosis (Slade, 2010). Positive psychology aims “to emphasize the positive while managing and transforming the negative to increase well-being.”
By focusing on enhancing well-being and optimal functioning in addition to alleviating symptoms, the positive psychology movement seeks to destigmatize mental illness. Positive psychologists believe that the positive psychology perspective is essential to contemporary research to complement the long tradition of pathogen orientation.
1. Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
2. Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
3. Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Positive Psychology
Positive psychology works through three sequential waves or aspects to address these recovery objectives. By focusing on our character strengths, positive psychology helps regenerate our self-esteem, undermined by social anxiety’s adverse self-appraisal. Additionally, it activates proactive neuroplasticity—the deliberate, repetitive input of positive information— to counterbalance the negative information stemming from core beliefs and assumptions related to our condition.
Positive psychology is called the science of optimal functioning. Its objective is to identify the strengths, virtues, and attributes necessary for individuals and society to live productive lives. Optimal functioning involves striving to reach our full potential and not just enduring life but flourishing in it.
Positive psychology began as a methodology that complements and supports traditional psychology rather than replacing it. Today, it is an umbrella term encompassing research on positive emotions and related topics. Such as creativity, optimism, resilience, empathy, compassion, humor, and emotional well-being. As a powerful tool for self-empowerment, positive psychology helps us reclaim our positive identity and understand our inherent strengths.
One of the first steps in our recovery journey is to identify these strengths and attributes that social anxiety may have obscured. A significant limitation of early positive psychology was its tendency to prioritize positive qualities. While overlooking the negative or real-world aspects of the human condition.
Positive Psychology 2.0
Recognizing the need for balance, psychologists advocated for a more holistic approach to well-being. Positive Psychology 2.0 emerged as a response to the previous singular focus on optimism, incorporating both positive and negative aspects of the holistic individual. Such an approach demonstrates the dialectical nature of human thought and behavior, recognizing that we possess both assets and flaws. This balanced self-awareness is essential for healing and growth, promoting a sense of equilibrium and a deeper understanding of our motivations.
Optimal human functioning is not solely about positivity. It involves living a balanced and meaningful life that fully engages both our positive and negative dimensions.
Positive Psychology 2.0 plays a crucial role in identifying and addressing the irrational fears and anxieties that contribute to negative self-appraisal, which can lead to the formation of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). This process encourages us to respond to these thoughts with rationality, transforming them into opportunities for personal growth and change.
Positive Psychology 3.0
The third wave of positive psychology, PP 3.0 fosters a sense of community and belonging by broadening the focus of research and practice beyond the individual. It encompasses relationships, groups, organizations, and societies, exploring how our character and values reflect and contribute to the communities we are part of.
This third wave of development supports our reintegration into society by equipping us with tools and strategies for navigating transitions. Being mindful of our value and significance, enhanced by improved self-esteem, motivates us to pay it forward by supporting others, thereby strengthening our sense of connection.
In summary, Positive Psychology 1.0 focused on our character strengths, virtues, and attributes, serving as a powerful tool in early recovery. By recognizing and emphasizing our positive qualities, we counteract the abundance of neural negativity and adverse self-appraisal. This process helps us rediscover and prioritize our strengths, virtues, and achievements rather than our negative traits.
Recovery involves not only recognizing our strengths and virtues but also acknowledging our shortcomings. This balanced perspective is essential for healing and moving forward. The recovery process entails learning to identify the irrational fears and anxieties that drive our thoughts and behaviors, which contribute to the establishment of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Positive Psychology 2.0 provides the tools we need to navigate these challenges effectively.
Positive psychology 3.0 has expanded the focus of research and practice from just the individual to include relationships, groups, communities, organizations, and societies. This shift emphasizes how we can reintegrate into and contribute to our communities.
Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of our recovery. It embodies an empowering awareness of our qualities and character, including our imperfections. It involves not only how we perceive ourselves but also how we believe others perceive us and how we process that information. A healthy level of self-esteem reassures us of our worth and significance, empowering us to navigate our recovery journey with confidence and capability.
As we develop a renewed awareness of ourselves, we cultivate self-compassion and self-appreciation. Recognizing our unique contributions inspires and motivates us to share them with others. Interconnectedness is not just a natural progression of self-esteem. It’s a vital one that fosters a sense of caring and empathy, demonstrating the positive outcomes of recovery.
Positive psychology plays a significant role in our recovery journey. It goes beyond self-care; it’s about understanding our worth and potential while championing these beliefs in others. This moral evolution is a natural part of recovery, and positive psychology is a critical force in this process.
It’s essential to recognize that positive psychology is just one component of an effective recovery program. A comprehensive plan that incorporates closely related approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, active and proactive neuroplasticity, recovery-oriented cognitive therapy, schema therapy, cognitive-behavioral modification, acceptance and commitment therapy, rational emotive behavior therapy, and gradual exposure therapy, provides the necessary support for a well-rounded recovery program.
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APA. American Psychiatric Association. (1984). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed.).American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.
Chakhssi, F., Kraiss, J.T., Sommers-Spijkerman, M. et al. (2018). The effect of positive psychology interventions on well-being and distress in clinical samples with psychiatric or somatic disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Psychiatry 18, 211 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1739-2
Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. Harper, New York City
Schotanus-Dijkstra, M., Drossaert, C.H.C., Pieterse, M.E. et al. (2018) Towards sustainable mental health promotion: trial-based health-economic evaluation of a positive psychology intervention versus usual care. BMC Psychiatry 18, 265 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1825-5
Schrank B, Brownell T, Tylee A, Slade M. (2014). Positive psychology: an approach to supporting recovery in mental illness. East Asian Arch Psychiatry. 2014 Sep;24(3):95-103. PMID: 25316800.
Sin, N. L., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2009). Enhancing well-being and alleviating depressive symptoms with positive psychology interventions: A practice-friendly meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 65(5), 467–487. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20593
Slade, M. (2010) Mental illness and well-being: the central importance of positive psychology and recovery approaches. BMC Health Serv Res 10, 26 (2010). https://doi.org/10.1186/1472-6963-10-26
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, regardless of its size, supports individuals who strive to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.
AI Generated: Relationships | Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships. Part II
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
I recognize that I have fallen behind on my weekly posts. We have been finalizing editing of our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, which goes to the publisher next week. Accounting for the average four-month schedule to get to print, we hope to make this book available sometime in the spring.
Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships. Part II
From C.-H. Mayer and E. Vanderheiden (eds), International Handbook of Love. Springer Nature Switzerland, 2025. 10.1007/978-3-031-76665-7_59-1
Categories of Interpersonal Love
In Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle. (1999) encapsulates love as “a sort of excess of feeling.” Utilizing the classic Greek categories of interpersonal love is vital to this study; each classification illustrates how SAD symptoms thwart the subject’s means of acquisition in seven of eight categories (except healthy philautia ).
The three primary categories, (1) philia (comradeship), (2) eros (sexual), and (3) agape (selfless and unconditional), are followed by (4) storge (family), (5) ludus (provocative), (6) pragma (practical), and the two extremes of philautia: (7) narcissistic and (8) positive self-qualities. Forms of inanimate love are excluded from this study, “including love for experiences (meraki), objects (érōs), and places (chōros)” (Lomas, 2017):
Philia
Aristotle called philia “one of the most indispensable requirements of life” (Grewal, 2016). Philia is a bonding of individuals with mutual experiences—a “warm affection in intimate friendship” (Helm, 2017). This platonic love subsists on shared experience and personal disclosure. A core symptom of a SAD person is the fear of revealing something that will make them appear “boring, stupid or incompetent” (Ades & Dias, 2013). Even the anticipation of interaction causes “significant anxiety, fear, self-consciousness, and embarrassment” (Richards, 2014) because of the fear of being scrutinized or judged by others (Mayoclinic, 2017b).
Eros
Eros is reciprocal feelings of shared arousal between people physically attracted to each other, the fulfillment declared by the sexual act. The SAD person’s self-image of undesirability and fears of intimacy (Montesi et al., 2013) and rejection (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014) has significant consequences in terms of acquiring a sexual partner and satisfaction of the sexual act. SAD’s culture of maladaptive self-appraisal poses severe challenges to their ability to establish, develop, and maintain romantic relationships (Cuncic, 2018; Topaz, 2018). A study by Montesi et al. (2013), examining the SAD person’s symptomatic fear of intimacy and sexual communication concluded “socially anxious individuals experience less sexual satisfaction in their intimate partnerships than nonanxious individuals, a relationship that has been well documented in previous research.” The study reported a lacuna of literature, however, examining the sexual communication of SAD persons.
Agape
Through the universal mandate to love thy neighbor, the concept of agape embraces unconditional love that transcends and persists regardless of circumstance (Helm, 2017). SAD generally infects adolescents who have experienced detachment, exploitation, and or neglect (Steele, 1995). This form of love characterizes itself through unselfish giving; the SAD person’s maladaptive self-belief that she or he is the constant focus of attention is a form of self-centeredness bordering on narcissism (Mayoclinic, 2017a).
Storge
Again, the primary cause of SAD stems from childhood hereditary, environmental (Felman, 2018; NAMI, 2019), or traumatic events (Mayoclinic, 2017b). In each case, the SAD person is exploited (unconsciously or otherwise) in the formative stages of human motivational development: physiological safety, belongingness, and love (Maslow, 1943). As a result, storge or familial love and protection, vital to the healthy development of the family unit, are severely affected. The exploited adolescent (Steele, 1995) faces serious challenges recognizing or embracing familial love as an adolescent or adult.
Ludus
The SAD persons’ conflict with the provocative playfulness of ludus is evident in the fear of being judged and negatively evaluated by others (Mayoclinic, 2017b) as well as themselves (Hulme et al., 2012; Ritter et al., 2013). Persons experiencing SAD do not find social interaction pleasurable (Richards, 2019) and have limited expectations that things will work out advantageously (Mayoclinic, 2017b). Finally, SAD persons’ maladaptive self-beliefs generally result in inappropriate behavior in social situations (Kampmann et al., 2019).
Pragma
The obvious synonym for pragma is practicality—a balanced and constructive quality counterintuitive to someone whose modus operandi is discordant thought and behavior (Richards,2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010). Pragma is mutual interests and goals securing a working and endurable partnership facilitated by rational behavior and expectation. The SAD personality sustains itself through irrationality (Felman, 2018) and maladaptive self-beliefs (Hulme et al., 2012; Ritter et al., 2013). The pragmatic individual deals with relationships sensibly and realistically, conforming to typical standards. The overriding objective of a SAD person is to “avoid situations that most people consider ‘normal’” (WebMD, 2019).
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The onset of SAD is a consequence of early psychophysiological disturbance (Mayoclinic, 2017a). The receptive juvenile might be the product of bullying (Felman, 2018), abuse (NAMI, 2019), or a broken home. Perhaps parental behaviors are overprotective or controlling or do not provide emotional validation (Cuncic, 2018).
Subsequently, the SAD person finds it difficult to let their guard down and express vulnerability, even with someone they love and trust (Cuncic, 2018). Alden et al. (2018) note that SAD persons “find it difficult, in their intimate relationships, to be able to self-disclose, to reciprocate the affection others show toward them.”
There is a large body of research linking love with positive mental and physical health outcomes (Rodebaugh et al., 2015). Relationships, love, and associations with others lead one to recognition of their value to society “and motivates them towards building communities, culture and work for the welfare of others” (Capon & Blakely, 2007).
Love is developed through social connectedness. Social connectedness, essential to personal development, is one of the central psychological needs “required for better psychological development and well-being” (Deci & Ryan, 2000). Social connectedness plays a significant role as mediator in the relationship between SAD and interpersonal love (Lee et al., 2008) and is strongly associated with the level of self-esteem (Fatima et al., 2018).
Philautia
The seventh and eighth categories of interpersonal love are the two extremes of philautia: narcissism and positive self-qualities. To Aristotle, healthy philautia is vigorous “in both its orientation to self and to others” due to its inherent virtue (Grewal, 2016). “By contrast, its darker variant encompasses notions such as narcissism, arrogance and egotism” (Lomas, 2017). In its positive aspect, any interactivity “has beneficial consequences, whereas in the latter case, philautia will have disastrous consequences” (Fialho, 2007):
The good man should be a lover of self (for he will both himself profit by doing noble acts, and will benefit his fellows), but the wicked man should not; for he will hurt both himself and his neighbors, following as he does evil passions. (Grewal, 2016)
Unhealthy Philautia
Unhealthy philautia is akin to borderline narcissism—a mental condition in which people function with an “inflated sense of their own importance [and a] deep need for excessive attention and admiration.” Behind this mask of extreme confidence, the Mayoclinic Report (2017a) states “lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” SAD persons live on the periphery of morbid self-absorption through their self-centeredness. Their obsession with excessive attention (ADAA, 2019b) mirrors that of unhealthy philautia.
In Classical Greece, persons could be accused of unhealthy philautia if they placed themselves above the greater good. Today, hubris refers to “an inflated sense of one’s status, abilities, or accomplishments, especially when accompanied by haughtiness or arrogance” (Burton, 2016). The self-centeredness and self-absorption of a SAD person often present themselves as arrogance; in fact, the words are synonymous. The critical difference is that SAD persons do not possess an inflated sense of their own importance but one of insignificance.
Healthy Philautia
Aquinas’ (1981) response to demons and disorder states “Evil cannot exist without good.” The Greeks believed that the narcissism of unhealthy philautia would not exist without its complementary opposition to healthy philautia, commonly interpreted as the self-esteeming virtue—an unfortunate and wholly incomplete definition. Rather than only focusing on self-esteem, philautia incorporates the broader spectrum of all positive self-qualities:
Rather, we are concerned here with various positive qualities prefixed by the term self, including -esteem, -efficacy, -reliance, -compassion, and -resliance. Aristotle argued in Nichomachean Ethics that self-love is a precondition for all other forms of love. (Lomas, 2017)
Positive self-qualities determine one’s relation to self, others, and the world. They recognize that one is of value, consequential, and worthy of love. “Philautia is important in every sphere of life and can be considered a basic human need” (Sharma, 2014). To the Greeks, philautia “is the root of the heart of all the other loves” (Jericho, 2015). Gadamer (2009) writes of philautia: “Thus it is; in self-love one becomes aware of the true ground and the condition for all possible bonds with others and commitment to oneself.” Healthy philautia is the love that is within oneself. It is not, explains Jericho (2015), “the desire for self and the root of selfishness.” Ethicist John Deigh (2001) writes:
Accordingly, when Aristotle remarks that a man’s friendly relations with others come from his relations with himself … he is making the point that self-love (philautia ), as the best exemplar of love … is the standard by which to judge the friendliness of the man’s relations with others.
Positive self-qualities are obscured by SAD’s culture of maladaptive self-beliefs and the interruption of the normal course of natural motivational development. Positive psychology embraces “a variety of beliefs about yourself, such as the appraisal of your own appearance, beliefs, emotions, and behaviors” (Cherry, 2019). It measures “how much a person values, approves of, appreciates, prizes, or likes him or herself” (Blascovich & Tomaka, 1991). Ritter et al. (2013) conducted a study on the relationship of SAD and self-esteem. The research concluded that SAD persons have significantly lower implicit and explicit self-esteem relative to healthy controls, which manifest in maladaptive self-beliefs of incompetence, unattractiveness, unworthiness, and other irrational self-evaluations.
Healthy philautia is essential for any relationship; it is easy to recognize how the continuous infusion of healthy philautia into a SAD person supports self-positivity and interconnectedness with all aspects of interpersonal love. “One sees in self-love the defining marks of friendship, which one then extends to a man’s friendships with others” (Deigh,2001).
Self-worth and self-respect improve self-confidence, which allows the individual to overcome fears of criticism and rejection. Risk becomes less potentially consequential, and the playful aspects of ludus are less threatening. Self-assuredness opens the door to traits commonly associated with successful interpersonal connectivity—persistence and persuasiveness, optimism of engagement, and willingness to vulnerability.
A SAD person’s recognition of their inherent value generates the realization that they “are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect” (Ackerman, 2019). The philautia described by Aristotle “is a necessary condition to achieve happiness” (Arreguín, 2009), which, as we continue down the classical Greek path, is eudemonic. “To feel joy and fulfillment at being you is the experience of philautia” (Jericho, 2015). In the words of positive psychologist Stephen (2019), eudaimonia:
describes the notion that living in accordance with one’s daimon, which we take to mean ‘character and virtue,’ leads to the renewed awareness of one’s ‘meaning and purpose in life.’
Aristotle touted the striving for excellence as humanity’s inherent aspiration (Kraut,2018). He described eudaimonia as “activity in accordance with virtue” (Shields, 2015). Eudaimonia reflects the best activities of which man is capable. The word eudaimonia reflects personal and societal well-being as the chief good for man. “The eudaimonic approach … focuses on meaning and self-realization and defines well-being in terms of the degree to which a person is fully functioning” (Ryan & Deci, 2001). It is through recognition of one’s positive self-qualities and their potential productive contribution to the general welfare that one rediscovers the intrinsic capacity for love.
Let us view this through the symbolism of Socrates’ tale of the Cave (Plato, 1992). In it, we discover SAD persons chained to the wall. Their perspectives are generated from the shadows projected by the unapproachable light outside the cave. They name these maladaptive self-beliefs as useless, incompetent, timid, ineffectual, ugly, insignificant, and stupid.
The prisoners have formed a subordinate dependency on their surroundings and resist any other reality until, one day, they find themselves loosed from their bondage and emerge into the light. Like the cave dwellers, the SAD person breaks away from maladaptive self-beliefs into healthy philautia ’s positive self-qualities, which encourage and support connectivity to all forms of interpersonal love.
A study published in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (Hulme et al., 2012) looked at the effect of positive self-images on self-esteem in the SAD person. Eighty-eight students were screened with the Social Interaction Anxiety Scale (SIAS) and divided between the low self-esteem group and the high self-esteem group. The study had two visions. The first was to study the effect of positive and negative self-appraisal on implicit and explicit self-esteem. The second was to investigate how positive self-beliefs would affect the negative impact of social exclusion on explicit self-esteem and whether high socially anxious participants would benefit as much as low socially anxious participants.
The researchers used a variety of measures and instruments. The Social Interaction Anxiety Scale is standard in SAD therapy and CBT workshops; the Implicit Association Test reveals the strength of the association between two different concepts. The Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale is a ten-item self-report measure of explicit self-esteem, the State-Trait Anxiety Inventory-Trait (STAI-T) is a 20-item scale that measures trait anxiety, and the Depression Anxiety Stress Scale-21 (DASS-21) is a self-report scale measuring depression, anxiety, and general distress:
Social exclusion is inherently aversive and reduces explicit self-esteem in healthy individuals … the effect of exclusion has been measured in terms of its impact on positive affect and on four fundamental need scores (self-esteem, control, belonging, and meaningful existence) which contribute to psychological well-being. (Hulme et al., 2012)
The study’s results were consistent with evidence that was based on implicit self-esteem in other disorders; it found that negative self-imagery reduces positive implicit self-esteem in both high and low socially anxious participants. It provided supporting evidence of the effectiveness of promoting positive self-beliefs over negative ones, “because these techniques help patients to access a more positive working self” (Hulme et al., 2012). It also demonstrated that positive self-imagery maintained explicit self-esteem even in the face of social exclusion.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Conclusion
For 25 years, since the appearance of SAD in DSM-IV, the cognitive-behavioral approach has reportedly been effective in addressing social anxiety disorder. It is structurally sound and would conceivably remain the foundation for future programs. However, it is not the therapeutic panacea it claims to be. Productive cognitive-behavioral approaches emphasize replacing SAD’s automatic negative thoughts and behaviors (ANTs) with automatic rational ones (ARTs). As defined by UCLA psychologists Hazlett-Stevens and Craske (2002), CBT:
approaches treatment with the assumption that a specific central or core feature is responsible for the observed symptoms and behavior patterns experienced (i.e., lawful relationships exist between this core feature and the maladaptive symptoms that result). Therefore, once the central feature is identified, targeted in treatment, and changed, the resulting maladaptive thoughts, symptoms, and behaviors will also change.
Clinicians and researchers have reported the lack of a precise, diagnostic definition for social anxiety disorder; features overlap and are comorbid with other mental health problems (ADAA, 2019a; Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). Experts cite substantial discrepancies and disparities in the definition, epidemiology, assessment, and treatment of SAD (Nagata et al., 2015). More specifically, according to a study published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (Alden et al., 2018), “there is not enough attention paid in the literature to the ability to function in the close relationships” required for interpersonal love.
Standard CBT also lacks methodological clarity. Johnsen and Friborg (2015) cite the various forms of CBT used in studies and therapy over the years. Experts point to two predominant types of CBT: “the unadulterated CBT created by Beck and Ellis, which reflects the protocol-driven, highly goal-oriented, more standardized approach they first popularized” and the more integrative and collaborative approaches of “modern” CBT (Wong et al., 2013). This study maintains that neither faction should be ignored if we are to effectively address the complexities of positive self-qualities and their importance to the individual’s psychological well-being.
The deficit of positive self-qualities in individuals impaired by SAD’s symptomatic culture of maladaptive self-appraisal and the interruption of the natural course of human motivational development is a new psychological concept in our evolving conscious complexity. Cognitive-behavioral therapies focus on resolving negative self-imaging through programs of thought and behavior modification.
Positive self-quality in healthy philautia is not a new concept; it was discussed in symposia almost two-and-a-half centuries ago. However, the psychological ramifications and methods to address it are in their formative stages. There is a need for innovative psychological and philosophical research to address the broader implications of healthy philautia’s positive self-qualities, which could deliver the potential for self-love and societal concern to the SAD person, opening the bridge to procuring all forms of interpersonal love.
Kashdan et al. (2011) cite the “evidence that social anxiety is associated with diminished positive experiences, infrequent positive events, an absence of positive inferential biases in social situations, fear responses to overtly positive events, and poor quality of life.” Models of CBT that attempt only to reduce the individual’s avoidance behaviors would benefit from addressing, more specifically, the relational deficits that such people experience, as well as positive psychological measures to counter SAD’s culture of maladaptive self-beliefs. Non-traditional and supported approaches, including those defined as new third-wave (generation) therapies, with CBT serving as the foundational platform for integration, would widen the scope and perspective in comprehending SAD’s evolving intricacies.
One such step is the integration of positive psychology within the cognitive-behavioral therapy model which “despite recent scientific attention to the positive spectrum of psychological functioning and social anxiety/SAD … has yet to be integrated into mainstream accounts of assessment, theory, phenomenology, course, and treatment” (Kashdan et al., 2011). CBT would continue to modify automatic maladaptive self-beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors, and positive psychology would replace them with positive self-qualities.
Training in prosocial behavior and emotional literacy are valuable supplements to typical interventions. Behavioral exercises can be used to practice the execution of considerate and generous social skills. Positive affirmations have enormous subjective value as well. Data provide evidence for mindfulness and acceptance-based interventions, where the goal is not only to respond to the negativity of maladaptive self-beliefs but to pursue positive self-qualities despite unwanted negative thoughts, feelings, images, or memories. Castella et al. (2014) suggest motivational enhancement strategies to help clients overcome their resistance to new ideas and concepts.
Ritter et al. (2013) tout the benefits of positive autobiography to counter SAD’s association with negative experiences, and self-monitoring helps SAD persons recognize and anticipate their maladaptive self-beliefs (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). Finally, the importance of considering the “nuanced and unique dynamics inherent in the relationships among emotional expression, intimacy, and overall relationship satisfaction for socially anxious individuals” should be thoroughly considered (Montesi et al., 2013). As positive psychology focuses on the broader spectrum of philautia ’s positive self-qualities, integration with CBT’s behavior modification, neuroscience’s network restructuring, and other non-traditional and supported approaches would establish a working platform for discovery.
Competing Interest Declaration
The author(s) has no competing interests to declare that are relevant to the content of this manuscript.
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Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships: AI Generated: Relationships
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
I recognize that I have fallen behind on my weekly posts. We have been finalizing editing of our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, which goes to the publisher next week. Accounting for the average four-month schedule to get to print, we hope to make this book available sometime in the spring.
Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships. Part I
From C.-H. Mayer and E. Vanderheiden (eds), International Handbook of Love. Springer Nature Switzerland, 2025. 10.1007/978-3-031-76665-7_59-1
Abstract
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one of the most common psycho-physiological malfunctions. Affecting the emotional and mental well-being of over 15 million US adults who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations. These observations provide insights into the relationship deficits experienced by people with SAD. Their innate need for intimacy is just as dynamic as that of any individual. Still, their impairment disrupts the ability (means of acquisition) to establish affectionate bonds in almost any capacity. The spirit is willing, but competence is insubstantial. The means of acquisition and how SAD symptomatically disrupts them are the context of this research.
Notwithstanding overwhelming evidence of social incompatibility, there is hope for the startlingly few SAD individuals who commit to recovery. Integrating positive psychology’s optimum human functioning with CBT’s behavior modification, neuroscience’s network restructuring, and other supported and non-traditional approaches can establish a working platform for discovery, opening the bridge to procuring forms of intimacy previously inaccessible.
Keywords: Love -Social anxiety disorder -Intimacy –Philautia -Relationships
Social Anxiety Disorder
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is the second most commonly diagnosed form of anxiety in the United States (MHA, 2019). The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA, 2019a) estimates that roughly 15 million (7%) American adults currently experience its symptoms. Ritchie and Roser (2018) report 284 million SAD persons, worldwide, and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH, 2017) reports that 31.1% of US adults experience some anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. Global statistics are subject to “differences in the classification criteria, culture, and gender” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014) and “in the instruments used to ascertain diagnosis” (NCCMH, 2013).
Studies in other Western nations (e.g., Australia, Canada, Sweden) note similar prevalence rates as in the USA. As do those in culturally westernized nations such as Israel. Even countries with strikingly different cultures (e.g., Iran) note evidence of social anxiety disorder (albeit at lower rates) among their populace. (Stein & Stein, 2008)
SAD is the most common psychiatric disorder in the United States after major depression and alcohol abuse (Heshmat, 2014). It is also arguably the most underrated and misunderstood. A “debilitating and chronic” psychophysiological affliction (Castella et al., 2014), SAD “wreaks havoc on the lives of those who suffer from it” (ADAA, 2019a).
SAD attacks all fronts, negatively affecting the entire body complex, delivering mental confusion (Mayoclinic,2017b), emotional instability (Castella et al., 2014; Yeilding, 2017), physical dysfunction (NIMH, 2017; Richards, 2019), and spiritual malaise. Emotionally, persons experiencing SAD feel depressed and lonely (Jazaieri et al., 2015). Physically, they are subject to unwarranted sweating and trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, cramps, dizziness, and muscle spasms (ADAA, 2019a; NIMH, 2017). Mentally, thoughts are discordant and irrational (Felman, 2018; Richards, 2014). Spiritually, they define themselves as inadequate and insignificant (Beck, 2021).
The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 9.1% of adolescents experience social anxiety disorder, and 1.3% have severe impairment (NIMH, 2017). The onset of SAD is generally considered “to take place between the middle and late teens” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). Like other pathogens, SAD can remain dormant for years before symptoms materialize. Any number of situations or events trigger the initial contact. It may be hereditary, environmental, or the result of some traumatic experience.
SAD is randomly misdiagnosed (Richards,2019), and the low commitment to recovery (Shelton, 2018) suggests a reticence by those infected to recognize and/or challenge their malfunction. Roughly 5% of SAD individuals commit to early recovery, reflective of symptoms that manifest maladaptive self-beliefs of insignificance and futility. Grant et al. (2005) speculate that “about half of adults with the disorder seek treatment,” but that is after 15–20 years of experiencing the condition (Ades & Dias, 2013).
Resistance to new ideas and concepts transcends those of other emotional malfunctions and is justified by:
General public cynicism
Self-contempt by the afflicted, generated by maladaptive self-appraisal
Ignorance or ineptitude of mental health professionals
Real or perceived social stigma
The natural physiological aversion to change
Many motivated toward recovery are unable to afford treatment due to SAD-induced “impairments in financial and employment stability” (Gregory et al., 2018). The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety disorder in the United States is related to “job inefficiency and instability” (Felman, 2018), greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and/or frequent job changes. “More than 70% of social anxiety disorder patients are in the lowest economic group” (Nardi, 2003).
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
According to leading experts, the high percentage of SAD misdiagnoses is due to “substantial discrepancies and variation in definition, epidemiology, assessment, and treatment” (Nagata et al.,2015). The Social Anxiety Institute (Richards, 2019) reports that among patients with generalized anxiety, an estimated 8.2% had the condition, but just 0.5% were correctly diagnosed.
Social anxiety disorder is a pathological form of everyday anxiety. The clinical term “disorder” identifies extreme or excessive impairment that negatively affects functionality. Feeling anxious or apprehensive in certain situations is normal. Most individuals are nervous speaking in front of a group and anxious when pulled over on the freeway. The typical individual recognizes the ordinariness of a situation and accords it appropriate attention. The SAD person anticipates it, takes it personally, dramatizes it, and obsesses on its negative implications (Richards, 2014).
SAD’s culture of maladaptive self-beliefs (Ritter et al.,2013) and negative self-evaluations (Castella et al., 2014) aggravate anxiety and impede social performance (Hulme et al., 2012). “Patients with SAD often believe they lack the necessary social skills to interact normally with others” (Gaudiano & Herbert, 2003). Maladaptive self-beliefs are distorted reflections of a condition or situation, often accepted as accurate.
Maladaptive means we do not adapt to certain fears, thus amplifying our distress. The co-founder of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), Aaron Beck, provides three types of maladaptive self-beliefs responsible for persistent social anxiety. Core beliefs are enduring fundamental understandings, often formed in childhood and solidified over time. Because SAD persons “tend to store information consistent with negative beliefs but ignore evidence that contradicts them, [their] core beliefs tend to be rigid and pervasive” (Beck, 2011).
Automatic negative thoughts are immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, and images that occur in anticipation of or reaction to a feared situation. They are the unpleasant, self-defeating expressions of our negative self-appraisal that define who we think we are, who we think others think we are, and how we express our fears and anxieties. They are borne of our negative and intermediate core beliefs and the onset of our disorder:
Negative self-images reported by patients with social anxiety disorder reflect a working self that is retrieved in response to social threat and which is characterised by low self-esteem, uncertainty about the self, and fear of negative evaluation by others. (Hulme et al.,2012)
Halloran and Kashima (2006) define culture as “an interrelated set of values, tools, and practices that is shared among a group of people who possess a common social identity.” As the third largest mental healthcare problem in the world (Richards, 2019), social anxiety disorder is culturally identifiable by the victims’ “marked and persistent fear of social and performance situations in which embarrassment may occur” and the anticipation that “others will judge [them] to be anxious, weak, crazy, or stupid” (APA, 2017).
Although studies evidence “culture-specific expression of social anxiety” (Hoffman et al., 2010), SAD “is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in almost all areas of a person’s life” (Richards, 2019). SAD affects the “perceptual, cognitive, personality, and social processes” of the afflicted, who find themselves caught up in “a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations” (Heeren & McNally, 2018).
Often, mere functionality in perfunctory situations—eating in front of others, riding a bus, and using a public restroom—can be unduly stressful (ADAA, 2019a; Mayoclinic, 2017b). This overriding fear of being found wanting manifests in perspectives of incompetence and worthlessness (Richards, 2019).
SAD individuals are unduly concerned that they will say something that will reveal their ignorance, whether perceptual or otherwise (Ades & Dias, 2013). They walk on eggshells, supremely conscious of their awkwardness, surrendering to the gaze—the anxious state of mind that comes with the maladaptive self-belief they are the center of attention (Felman, 2018; Lacan, 1978). Their movements can appear hesitant and awkward, small talk clumsy, attempts at humor embarrassing, and every situation reactive to negative self-evaluation (ADAA, 2019a; Bosche, 2019).
Persons experiencing SAD are apprehensive of potential “negative evaluation by others” (Hulme et al.,2012), concerned about “the visibility of anxiety, and preoccupation with performance or arousal” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). SAD persons frequently generate images of themselves performing poorly in feared social situations (Hirsch & Clark, 2004; Hulme et al., 2012), and their anticipation of repudiation motivates them to dismiss overtures to offset any possibility of rejection (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014).
SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing irrational thought and behavior (Richards, 2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010). It establishes its authority through its subjects’ defeatist measures produced by distorted and unsound interpretations of actuality that govern perspectives of personal attractiveness, intelligence, competence, and other errant beliefs (Ades & Dias, 2013). SAD individuals:
crave the company of others but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikeable, stupid, or annoying. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternizing with peers … People with social anxiety disorder are typified by low self-esteem and high self-criticism. (Stein & Stein, 2008)
Anxiety and related disorders are branches of the same tree. “There is a significant degree of comorbidity between social anxiety disorder and other mental health problems, most notably depression (19%), substance-abuse disorder (17%), GAD [generalized anxiety disorder] (5%), panic disorder (6%), and PTSD (3%)” (Tsitsas & Paschali,2014).
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA, 2019a) includes many emotional and mental disorders related to, components of, or a consequence of social anxiety disorder, including avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and schizophrenia.
While there is less evidence of strong comorbidity with most personality disorders, there are symptomatic similarities. Personality disorders involve long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are unhealthy and inflexible. “The behaviors cause serious problems with relationships and work. People with personality disorders have trouble dealing with everyday stresses and problems” (UNLM,2018).
Personality reflects deep-seated patterns of behavior affecting how individuals “perceive, relate to, and think about themselves and their world” (HPD,2019). A personality disorder denotes a “rigid and unhealthy pattern[s] of thinking, functioning and behaving,” which potentially leads to “significant problems and limitations in relationships, social activities, work and school” (Castella et al., 2014).
A recent article in Scientific American speculates that “mental illnesses are so common that almost everyone will develop at least one diagnosable mental disorder at some point in their life” (Reuben & Schaefer, 2017).
SAD and Interpersonal Love
In unambiguous terms, the desire for love is at the heart of social anxiety disorder (Alden et al., 2018). Interpersonal love relates to communications or relationships of love between or among people. The diagnostic criteria for SAD, outlined in the DSM-V (APA, 2017), include “Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others.”
SAD persons find it difficult to establish close, productive relationships (Castella et al., 2014; Fatima et al., 2018). Their avoidance of social activities limits the potential for comradeship (Desnoyers et al., 2017; Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014), and their inability to interact rationally and productively (Richards, 2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010) makes long-term, healthy relationships unlikely. SAD persons frequently demonstrate significant impairments in friendships and intimate relationships (Castella et al., 2014). According to Whitbourne (2018), SAD persons’:
avoidance of other people puts them at risk of feeling lonely, having fewer friendships, and being unable to take advantage of the enjoyment of being with people who share their hobbies and interests.
There is a death of research directly investigating the relationship between SAD and interpersonal love (Montesi et al.,2013; Read et al., 2018). A study on friendship quality and social anxiety by Rodebaugh et al. (2015) notes the lack of relative quality studies, and Alden et al. (2018) report on the lack of attention paid to the SAD person’s inability or refusal to function in close relationships. The few existing studies report that the SAD person exhibits inhibited social behavior, shyness, lack of assertion in group conversations, and feelings of inadequacy while in social situations (Darcy et al., 2005).
This dominant culture of maladaptive self-beliefs results in the tendency to avoid new people and experiences, making the development of “adequate and close relationships (e.g., family, friends, and romantic relationships)” extremely challenging (Cuming & Rapee, 2010). Experiencing social anxiety disorder translates to less trust and perceived support from close interpersonal relationships (Topaz, 2018).
Although intimately related, the desire for love and the means of acquisition are binary operations. Most forms of interpersonal love require the successful collaboration of wanting and obtaining. The desire for love is the non-consummatory component of Freud’s eros life instinct (Abel-Hirsch,2010). The means of acquisition are the methods and skills required to complete the transaction. Techniques that vary depending upon the type of love.
Let us visualize love as a bridge, with desire (thought) at one end and acquisition at the other. The span is the means of acquisition (behavior). The SAD person cannot get from one side to the other because the means of acquisition are structurally deficient (Desnoyers et al., 2017; Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). They grasp the fundamental concepts of interpersonal love and are presented with opportunities. But lack the skills to close the deal. Painfully aware of the tools of acquisition, they cannot seem to operate them.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy purposed for SAD is typically conceptualized as a short-term, skills-oriented approach aimed at exploring relationships among a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors while changing the culture of maladaptive self-beliefs into productive, rational thought and behavior (Richards,2019). CBT focuses on “developing more helpful and balanced perspectives of oneself and social interactions while learning and practicing approaching one’s feared and avoided social situations over time” (Yeilding, 2017).
Almost 90% of the approaches empirically supported by the “American Psychological Association’s Division 12 Task Force on Psychological Interventions” involve cognitive-behavioral treatments, according to Lyford (2017). “Individuals who undergo CBT show changes in brain activity, suggesting that this therapy improves your brain functioning as well” (NAMI, 2019).
Recent meta-analytic evidence suggests that CBT as an effective treatment for SAD compares favorably with other psychological and pharmacological treatment programs (Cuijpers et al.,2016). However, there is no guarantee of success, and standard CBT is imperfect (David et al., 2018). The best outcome someone experiencing SAD can hope for is the dramatic mitigation of symptoms through thought and behavior modification. And the simultaneous restructuring of the neural network, along with other supported and non-traditional treatments:
‘[M]any patients, although being under drug therapy, remain symptomatic and have a recurrence of symptoms,’ according to the Brazilian Journal of Psychiatry. ‘40–50% are better, but still symptomatic, and 20–30% remain the same or worse.’ (Manfro et al.,2008)
Behavioral and cognitive treatments are globally proven methodologies. Multiple associations worldwide are “devoted to research, education, and training in cognitive and behavioral therapies” (McGinn, 2019). CBT Conferences (2019) are offered across the globe, “where knowledge transfer takes place through debates, round table discussions, poster presentations, workshops, symposia, and exhibitions.” David et al. (2018) credit CBT as the best standard currently available for the following reasons:
(1) CBT is the most researched form of psychotherapy. (2) No other form of psychotherapy is systematically superior to CBT in the treatment of anxiety, depression, and other disorders. If there are systematic differences between psychotherapies, they typically favor CBT. (3) Moreover, the CBT theoretical models/mechanisms of change have been the most researched and are in line with the current mainstream paradigms of the human mind and behavior (e.g., information processing).
The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) is “a worldwide humanitarian organization” fostering the “dissemination of evidence-based prevention and treatments through collaborations with the World Health Organization (WHO) and the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO)” (McGinn,2019). The World Confederation of Cognitive and Behavioural Therapies (WCCBT) is a global multidisciplinary organization promoting health and well-being through the scientific development and implementation of “evidence-based cognitive-behavioral strategies designed to evaluate, prevent, and treat mental conditions and illnesses” (ACBT, 2019).
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is arguably the gold standard of the psychotherapy field. David et al.(2018) maintain “There are no other psychological treatments with more research support to validate.” Studies of CBT have shown it to be an effective treatment for a wide variety of mental illnesses. Including depression, SAD, generalized anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, and schizophrenia (Kaczkurkin & Foa, 2015; NAMI, 2019). However, David et al. (2018) suggest if the gold standard of psychotherapy defines itself as the best in the field, then CBT is not the gold standard. There is clearly room for further improvement, “both in terms of CBT’s efficacy/effectiveness and its underlying theories/mechanisms of change.”
The fault, however, does not lie with the methodology but with the abundance of therapists who believe that CBT is the golden panacea for all recovery. When the diversity of human thought and experience demands a collaboration of science, philosophy, and psychology. And philosophy, existentially defined, welcomes religious and spiritual insight.
A coalescence of science and east-west psychologies is essential to capture the diversity of human thought and experience. Science gives us proactive and active neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral self-modification, and positive psychology’s three waves of optimal functioning, which are Western-oriented. Eastern practices provide the therapeutic benefits of Abhidharma psychology and the overarching truths of ethical behavior. Individual targeted approaches and scales that focus on regenerating our self-esteem are crucial to recovery.
In her therapeutic sessions, CBT specialist Judith Beck (2021) incorporates techniques from acceptance and commitment therapy, compassion-focused psychotherapy, behavior therapy, Gestalt therapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, person-centered psychotherapy, scheme therapy, psychodynamic therapy, schema therapy, and solution-based therapy, among others.
Lyford (2017) provides two examples of criticism. A 2013 meta-analysis published in Clinical Psychology Review comparing CBT to other therapies failed to “provide corroborative evidence for the conjecture that CBT is superior to bona fide non-CBT treatments.” An 8-week clinical study by Sweden’s Lund University in 2013 concluded that “CBT was no more effective than mindfulness-based therapy for those suffering from depression and anxiety.”
Another meta-analysis, conducted by psychologists Johnsen and Friborg (2015), tracked 70 CBT outcome studies conducted between 1977 and 2014. It concluded that “the effects of CBT have declined linearly and steadily since its introduction, as measured by patients’ self-reports, clinicians’ ratings, and rates of remission.” According to the authors, “Just seeing a decrease in symptoms,” he says, “doesn’t translate into greater well-being.” This is reflective of most one-size-fits-all approaches.
While this study recognizes CBT as the best foundation for addressing the SAD culture of maladaptive self-appraisal, it makes the point standard CBT alone is not necessarily the most productive course of treatment. New and innovative methodologies supported by a collaboration of theoretical construct and integrated scientific psychotherapy are needed to address mental illness as represented in this era of advanced complexity. A SAD person subsisting on paranoia sustained by negative self-evaluation is better served by multiple non-traditional and supported approaches. Including those defined as new (third)-wave (generation) therapies developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation with CBT and positive psychology serving as the foundational platform for integration.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Defense Mechanisms
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
The overwhelming thoughts and emotions caused by our condition can be challenging for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies meant to protect our emotional health from threats.
We deny, avoid, or compensate for a problem rather than acknowledge it. We rationalize our actions, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
When used temporarily, defense mechanisms offer an escape from situations that threaten our fragile self-image. Without these strategies, we can experience decompensation—a state where we cannot effectively handle stress, leading to a breakdown in our ability to function and maintain our mental health.
In simpler terms, decompensation is mental overload, where the stress becomes too much for us to handle, and we struggle with our daily tasks and our mental health.
Defense mechanisms are healthy when used to manage short-term trauma, but become problematic when we rely on them to avoid facing reality. Recovery involves examining and understanding how these strategies support our irrational thoughts and behaviors, helping us avoid conflicts with our fragile self-image.
Recognizing how we use defense mechanisms to bypass or avoid reality is a vital step toward recovery. It enables us to turn defense strategies into tools for growth and healing. It empowers us to take control of our mental well-being and navigate our recovery with confidence.
Psychologists have identified approximately thirty defense mechanisms to date. Eight are especially relevant to social anxiety:
avoidance (e.g., evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort),
compensation (e.g., overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy),
denial (e.g., refusing to acknowledge a problem),
displacement (e.g., taking frustrations out on others),
dissociation (e.g., mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations),
projection (e.g., attributing our flaws to others),
rationalization (e.g., justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations),
and the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.
The thirteen cognitive distortions, also particularly relevant to our social anxiety, are also considered defense mechanisms—patterns of biased or distorted thinking that skew our perception of reality.
This post focuses on eight defense mechanisms germane to social anxiety.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Avoidance
A primary SAD symptom is our intense fear or anxiety during social situations, causing us to avoid interacting with others. Human interconnectivity, however, is essential for emotional health. Turning down opportunities to socialize exacerbates our isolation and opportunities for intimacy and friendship.
This does not mean that we need to challenge every situation. There is a clear distinction between avoiding something out of fear and avoiding it for a good reason. Discretion about who and where we engage is essential, as is adhering to our established boundaries and avoiding situations that pose a threat to our physical well-being.
Avoidance can be a reasonable alternative.
Compensation
Compensation is a defense strategy we turn to when we try to excel in one area of our lives to hide perceived flaws in another. It helps us conceal or overcome struggles in one area by becoming skilled at something else. In simple terms, we overachieve in one part of our lives to make up for deficiencies or incapacity in another.
For example, a student might compensate for academic difficulties by excelling in sports or other extracurricular activities. Someone who feels intellectually inferior might become an artisan; a socially awkward person might become a performer; and someone with body dysmorphia may become a fitness enthusiast.
When used wisely, compensation can be a powerful tool for healing. We counteract our perceived flaws with positive, productive traits. We boost our self-esteem by reclaiming our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. And we replace negative thoughts with positive stimuli.
Overcompensation is common among those of us experiencing social anxiety. In fact, it is often part of our daily struggles. The term refers to an overreaction to feelings of inferiority, incompetence, or inadequacy, leading to overzealous attempts to overwhelm the feelings by striving for perfection or seeking validation from others.
We tend to overcompensate for our perceived shortcomings, going to extremes to make up for imagined deficiencies, and setting unrealistically high expectations we cannot meet.
Perfectionism closely resembles the characteristics of social anxiety. Understanding this connection helps us recognize the role of perfectionism in our condition. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well; it’s an obsessive need to be flawless, with anything less being unacceptable.
As perfectionists, we harshly criticize ourselves when we fall short of our standards. We worry excessively about our behavior before and during social situations, ruminating on these worries long afterward. When things don’t go as planned, we find it hard to move forward.
Social Anxiety and Perfectionism
Social anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked. Both tend to involve higher anxiety levels and lower psychological well-being.
People with SAD often see situations in extremes. To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is disastrous. We view others as either supporting us or opposing us. The world appears black-and-white, with no middle ground or room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.
This mindset fuels cognitive distortions such as the need to be always right, personalization, and polarized thinking.
Perfectionists and those with SAD tend to avoid situations that might lead to disaster, disappointment, or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing the wrong thing. We dread criticism and ridicule. These worries intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.
Our perfectionism pushes us to set unreasonable expectations, like performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and being in complete control. When we can’t meet these expectations, we become disappointed and feel even more incompetent and inadequate.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Denial
Denial is a defense strategy that induces us to refuse to accept facts or recognize reality to avoid facing certain truths. It protects us from thoughts and emotions we cannot manage emotionally. It shields us from potentially destructive stimuli by blocking our conscious awareness of the harmful or threatening elements of our memories, experiences, and environment.
We can also be in denial about something we’re not ready to reveal or something that challenges our core beliefs and deeply held convictions.
Denial is a common way to avoid taking responsibility for our behaviors. Many individuals experiencing drug or alcohol addiction deny their habit. Trauma victims often deny that the disturbing experience ever occurred to avoid emotional confrontation.
While denial can offer temporary respite from things our minds find unmanageable, its persistent use can impede our ability to face our fears and control our lives. Freud called it the ostrich effect because denial is simply burying our problems in the sand.
Individuals denying their social anxiety is a pervasive problem. The inability or unwillingness to accept the personal impact of our condition is patently hostile to recovery. Even worse is the number of individuals who know they are affected but resist recovery. This reticence is rooted in our core beliefs of hopelessness and worthlessness, which preclude us from making the effort.
We must be fully aware (recognize, comprehend, and accept) of our social anxiety to recover from it. Denying it is like Blanche complaining that Baby Jane wouldn’t abuse her if Blanche weren’t confined to a wheelchair. ‘But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair.’
We cannot allow ourselves the luxury of ignorance.
Displacement
Displacement is a defense strategy where we redirect negative or hostile emotions to a less threatening or more acceptable target. Our minds find a safer outlet for triggers that are challenging or dangerous. Displacement allows us to cope with unmanageable feelings by transferring them onto something or someone else.
By displacing negative emotions or distressing experiences, we momentarily alleviate the anxiety associated with the source of distress. In common vernacular, we take our frustrations out on someone else.
Unleashing our unmanageable feelings onto those who pose a limited threat, such as a roommate, sibling, or associate, has obvious repercussions. A chastised worker might go home, shout at his wife, run the lawnmower into the flowerbed, and upend the cat. Each recipient of their displacement is adversely affected.
Examples of displacement include the student, upset about poor grades, who bullies someone on the playground during recess, and the wife, frustrated by her husband’s lack of attention, who seeks another sexual outlet to quash her feelings of rejection.
Another form of displacement is sublimation, where we redirect unacceptable urges into socially acceptable activities, such as the woman who sublimates her self-sabotaging desires by working out at the gym or the man who frequents the local tavern.
Individuals experiencing social anxiety are prone to displacement and sublimation as a relief from their continual self-doubt, isolation, and negative self-appraisal. For example, when we become overwhelmed by unresolved fears at the company convention, we might displace our anger and self-disappointment onto someone we dislike or sublimate them by getting out on the dance floor.
It is crucial to recognize that, like all defense mechanisms, the relief from displacement is temporary. It tells us that we must become more conscious of our emotional processes and the need for more productive coping strategies.
Dissociation
An essential component of our recovery is distancing ourselves from our condition—to step outside the bullseye, as it were. As long as we remain entwined with our social anxiety disorder, we tend to see ourselves as helpless, hopeless, and worthless. These are core beliefs that contribute to our social anxiety and depression, as identified by the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, Dr. Aaron Beck.
The concept of undesirability, characterized by the feeling of being unwanted or unattractive, is a common manifestation in our workshops, where we discuss and address negative self-appraisal.
Traditionally, dissociation is an unconscious disconnection from reality. It allows individuals to mitigate the effects of trauma by severing specific mental connections. Theoretically, our mind unconsciously blocks memories, emotions, thoughts, and impulses that are hazardous to our emotional well-being.
For instance, a person who has experienced a traumatic event might dissociate themselves from triggers that might rekindle the trauma, effectively ‘shutting off’ the emotions and memories related to the event.
Daydreaming or streaming television to avoid conflict is a harmless form of dissociation, while morphing into multiple personalities is a psychosis called DID (dissociative identity disorder) that requires specialized treatment.
Our first exercise in this book was to begin dissociating ourselves from our social anxiety. We redefine ourselves by our character assets, such as kindness, intelligence, creativity, and resilience, rather than by the symptoms of our condition. We’re not our social anxiety. We are intelligent and resilient individuals experiencing the reparable symptoms of social anxiety.
This shift in self-appraisal enables us to take control of our condition, which significantly weakens it.
Uncoupling ourselves from our condition enables us to objectively analyze our negative thoughts and behaviors, allowing us to respond rationally and productively. By consciously disassociating, we gain the power to deactivate the self-destructive aspects of our condition and activate our strengths, virtues, attributes, and accomplishments. This encourages us to focus on the positive aspects of our character, overriding the negative self-appraisals triggered by our social anxiety.
We are not our social anxiety. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the discomfort of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition. We are not our symptoms and traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of a devious and powerful mental health condition. This understanding liberates us from the shackles of our condition, enabling us to thrive.
Projection
Projection is a psychological defense strategy in which we attribute our undesirable thoughts, feelings, impulses, or behaviors to another person or group to avoid confronting and dealing with them.
When we project, we subconsciously deny certain negative character traits but recognize or create them in others. For example, we might project our fears of negative evaluation by ridiculing someone else’s inept attempt at socializing. Or if we carry repressed anger to a company event, we might perceive others as belligerent and aggressive rather than acknowledging our hostility.
Projection acts as a protective shield for our emotional well-being, providing relief from anxiety-provoking thoughts or feelings. By attributing our problems to someone or something else, we create a safe distance from what we find distressing within ourselves.
For instance someone who is dishonest might constantly suspect others of lying, orthe bar patron on his fifth scotch, might criticize the obvious inebriation of the person at the other table.
Often, when we instinctively dislike or avoid someone, we unconsciously project our disagreeable traits and impulses onto them.
Psychological projection occurs when we are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for our fears, anxieties, prejudices, and irrational thoughts and behaviors. It is easier to recognize negative emotions in others than it is to acknowledge them in ourselves.
Like many defense mechanisms, projecting may be healthy in the short term; however, recovery compels us to address the causes of our projection.
The long-term effects of persistent anxiety projection are detrimental to our health and may aggravate traditional symptoms of our social anxiety, including chronic stress, the constant influx of fear- and anxiety-provoking chemical hormones, and decreased or static self-esteem.
Anxiety Projection
Anxiety projection is particularly relevant to our condition. Unconsciously projecting our anxious thoughts, feelings, or impulses onto others or external situations helps us cope with emotions that threaten our emotional stability. Rather than acknowledging our fears or insecurities, we deny them by attributing them to external sources.
The traits that lead to anxiety projection are not uncommon in social anxiety. They include social avoidance, overthinking, perfectionism, porous emotional boundaries, and codependency. Recognizing these traits can help us better understand and manage our condition, knowing that we are not alone in this struggle.
Socially, projected anxiety can create a cycle of misunderstanding and conflict. For instance, a person projecting their insecurities might accuse their partner of being unfaithful without evidence, which can easily lead to relationship conflicts. We tend to avoid companionship and intimacy in anticipation of rejection. Projecting these fears allows us to evade responsibility.
Practical strategies for managing anxiety projection are within our reach. They focus on increasing self-awareness, challenging cognitive distortions, and reframing our fears and self-appraisals. By implementing these strategies, we learn to manage our issues rather than projecting them onto some unsuspecting external source.
AI Generated
Rationalization
Rationalization is not the same as rational thought or rational coping statements. Which are logical, self-affirming responses to our automatic negative and intrusive thoughts and other irrational and destructive self-appraisals that threaten our emotional well-being.
Rationalization is a defense strategy in which we justify uncomfortable or errant feelings or behaviors with allegedly logical explanations rather than acknowledging the actual reason behind them.
In essence, we deny or distort reality to reduce our emotional discomfort and self-disappointment by inventing a plausible excuse to disguise the real explanation for our behavior or feelings. For example, if we are rejected socially, we might say that the person is already in a relationship. If our presentation is substandard, we blame the lighting and tech.
These excuses protect us from self-recrimination and disappointment.
Rationalization allows us to reframe our actions or feelings in a more socially and personally acceptable manner, protecting our self-esteem and avoiding emotions that challenge our self-image. Psychologists consider defense mechanisms like rationalization and projection, unconscious strategies that protect us from threats to our self-esteem.
Although rationalizations misrepresent our true motivations, they protect us from the feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety we might experience when we fail to fulfill our true intentions. Rationalization plays a crucial role in maintaining our emotional stability by revising our interpretations of outcomes.
We rationalize our thoughts and behaviors to make them more acceptable, which shields us from negative self-appraisal and helps us maintain a positive self-image. This reassurance is a key function of rationalization.
We rationalize to protect our self-esteem and maintain a positive outlook, and in the short term, this provides comforting relief. It allows us to alleviate stress until we are better equipped to process our motivations.
However, excessive use of rationalization can lead to further problems. Denying, ignoring, or subordinating the truth of a traumatic situation, consciously or unconsciously, prevents us from honestly evaluating our reactions and responses and making positive changes.
Deflecting Responsibility
When we experience anxiety or guilt about our actions, rationalization offers an emotional escape. It replaces discomfort with emotionally acceptable explanations, but it also enables us to evade responsibility for the outcome, a crucial aspect to consider.
An excellent example of rationalization would be the dieter who opts out of the recommended exercises because they are too time-consuming and have failed them in the past —so what’s the point?
Rationalization versus Lying
It’s important to distinguish between rationalization and deception. While lying is a deliberate attempt to mislead, rationalization is a partly or primarily unconscious strategy. Both conceal the truth and disguise our real motives.
Rationalization, in its various forms—such as minimizing, deflecting, blaming, and attacking—is a common human experience. We’ve all been in situations where we downplay the importance of a task, shift blame to others, or make excuses for our actions. It’s a natural defense strategy that prevents us from taking responsibility and shields us from feelings that could challenge our self-esteem.
While it defends against distressing thoughts, erratic behaviors, and failed outcomes, rationalization avoids the deeper problems that require attention.
Repression, Suppression, Regression
Repression operates at the deepest level of our unconscious mind. It’s a process where we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too challenging to handle. In psychology, repression refers to the process by which we prevent specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.
While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that it can lead to enduring psychological issues. These memories, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions. For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might steer us from specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.
These occurrences can stir up anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression on our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.
Suppression
Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a conscious choice to subdue painful thoughts and memories to deal with them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery. It allows us to resolve the issues that we have temporarily suppressed.
The distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is also essential to understand. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a conscious decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition to address them dispassionately and objectively.
Understanding these nuances can provide a deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery. Making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.
Repression is often confused with the defense strategy, denial, in which we refuse to admit to unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even with evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth. For example, a person in denial about their addiction may refuse to acknowledge their problem despite clear evidence. Repression, on the other hand, involves unconscious mental dismissal. It’s like the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by pushing it out of conscious awareness.
Both are psychological attempts to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a severe psychological issue that requires more specialized treatment, something a traditional recovery program does not provide.
A primary objective of a treatment program is to unblock these memories and emotions to address the root causes of our unconscious unwillingness or inability to confront certain distressing or traumatic events or situations.
Certain aspects of our person are broken. It is impossible to fix something that is broken unless we have a clear understanding of its causes. It’s like a novice attempting to rebuild a transmission without knowing the basics of engine operation.
How do we identify the defense strategy we use to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable or unmanageable issue? It’s like recognizing a familiar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain precisely how you know, but you do. Similarly, we often recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action. This underscores the importance of self-awareness in identifying, understanding, and accepting why we use certain defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences.
This suggests, correctly, that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, comprehend, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. It’s important to note that during the recovery process, we learn specific coping strategies that help reduce our emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Coping Strategies
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
A coping strategy is a technique we use to manage stress and negative emotions. It’s crucial to understand that there are both constructive (adaptive) and destructive (maladaptive) ways to cope with stress. Choosing adaptive strategies can significantly improve our mental and emotional well-being.
Adaptive coping strategies include relaxation and breathing techniques, rational coping statements, and exercise, which are healthy and supportive. Unhealthy or maladaptive coping strategies, such as substance abuse, negative verbal outbursts, and avoidance due to fear, can be harmful to the entire body system, causing mental, physical, and emotional distress.
Many people confuse unhealthy coping strategies with defense mechanisms. Both are meant to protect our emotional health from threats. However, defense mechanisms are usually unconscious reactions to unmanageable stress, while maladaptive coping strategies are intentional, like procrastination, codependence, or self-harm.
There are various types of coping strategies; some are listed here. Some of the more effective ones for recovery include:
Active or problem-solving strategies aid in identifying and solving problems that cause stress, such as seeking professional help, grounding, cognitive reframing, and many of the approaches we will utilize in our upcoming fear situation plan. This plan is a structured approach to facing and managing our fears in specific situations, providing step-by-step guidance and tools to help us cope effectively.
Accommodative coping strategies demonstrate how to set reasonable expectations and establish boundaries, which are like a safety net that protects us from overwhelming stress. These strategies, covered later in this chapter, provide a sense of security and control in our lives.
Emotional coping strategies help us regulate and control our emotions. Behavioral strategies include stress-reducing activities such as gardening, hiking, and going to the gym. Cognitive strategies help us change our irrational perspectives and thought patterns.
Let’s discuss the two major clinical approaches we use in recovery to develop the most effective coping strategies for specific problems or situations: cognitive-behavioral therapy and positive psychology.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy examines the significant relationships among our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, aiming to transform our negative self-appraisals into more productive, rational thoughts and behaviors. It is a corrective and rehabilitative process based on the concept that our thoughts determine our feelings and behaviors. By identifying their origins and validity, we engage strategies to challenge and overcome them.
Social anxiety distorts our perceptions of reality. As we recover, we learn to recognize that our problems, such as feeling constantly judged or fearing social situations, are primarily based on learned patterns of irrational thinking. CBT equips us with knowledge of the sources of these patterns and develops problem-solving skills and coping strategies to address them, instilling a strong sense of self-assurance as we take control of our mental health.
As previously stated, a one-size-fits-all solution cannot adequately address the complexity of the human experience. When utilized with complementary methods such as positive psychology and self-esteem-specific exercises, CBT is an effective support tool for recovery from SAD. This individualized approach ensures that each person’s unique needs and experiences are understood and addressed, fostering a sense of being valued and respected throughout the recovery process.
Positive Psychology
Positive psychology, with its focus on character strengths, virtues, and attributes, is a potent tool for reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem. It empowers us to become aware of and utilize our dominant, positive traits, gradually counteracting the years of negative self-appraisal caused by our social anxiety.
The first wave of positive psychology, which originated in the late 1990s, focused on our potential well-being by emphasizing our strengths, virtues, attributes, and positive experiences. By nurturing these assets, we can reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem, reintegrate into society, and ultimately improve our overall life satisfaction. This wave laid the foundation for the subsequent developments in positive psychology.
Positive Psychology 2.0
Positive Psychology 2.0, in recognizing the dialectical nature of human experience, emphasizes the importance of considering both the positive and negative aspects of our character. This balanced perspective is crucial for healing and advancement, fostering a sense of balance and self-awareness, and leading to a deeper understanding of ourselves.
Positive Psychology 3.0
The latest wave of positive psychology (3.0) has expanded research beyond the individual to include relationships, groups, and organizations, examining how our character and values influence society and how society influences our character and values.
PP 3.0 supports our final objective of reclaiming and rebuilding self-esteem as we reintegrate into society. This wave represents a shift towards a more holistic understanding of positive psychology, considering not only individual well-being but also the broader societal impact of positive character traits and values.
Positive psychology plays a vital role in our recovery. It helps us rediscover and identify our strengths and attributes, which have been dismissed or superseded by our social anxiety.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Reframing
A core CBT tool is cognitive reframing, which helps us identify, challenge, and replace distorted thought patterns with healthier, positive perspectives. Reframing helps us develop a more positive view of ourselves, others, and the world, alleviating the symptoms of anxiety and depression.
Reframing is a versatile cognitive technique that can be applied in various situations. It prompts us to shift a negative perspective into a positive one. For instance, we can reframe a problem or issue as a challenge or opportunity. We can defuse an argument by considering the other person’s perspective. Similarly, when faced with a difficult task at work, we can reframe the frustration as an opportunity to learn and grow. When stuck in traffic, we can reframe it as a chance to listen to our favorite podcast or audiobook.
In each of these situations, reframing helps us develop a more positive view of ourselves, others, and the world, thereby alleviating the symptoms of anxiety and depression
During a snowstorm, we can feel trapped and despondent, or we can take out the sleds and ice skates and make the most of the day.
Experts agree that reframing is crucial for emotional well-being.
Every situation has multiple perspectives. While we cannot control everything that happens around us, we can manage how we react and respond. We possess the inherent ability to choose how we view people and situations. If given the option to select emotional well-being over anxiety and depression, it is illogical not to seize that opportunity.
Childhood disturbances, negative core and intermediate beliefs, and adverse self-appraisal have rooted themselves in our minds like squatters resisting eviction. Moreover, we are exposed to ongoing cynical input from external sources, including misleading media, adverse public opinion, stigma, and disinformation. Overcoming negative thinking can be a significant challenge.
Reframing is not just an abstract commitment to changing every negative thought or situation into a positive one. Multiple strategies support our efforts to replace disagreeable prospects with a more favorable perspective.
Through these strategies, we create a more nuanced and balanced perspective that encourages positivity, growth, and resilience. A key component of this process is emotional self-regulation, which is the ability to manage and respond to emotional experiences in ways that are healthy and productive.
It’s about being aware of our emotions, understanding what triggers them, and choosing how to respond in a way that aligns with our values and goals. By practicing emotional self-regulation, we reduce the frequency and severity of our adversarial perspectives.
Grounding
This involves intentionally shifting our attention away from anxiety-provoking thoughts or worries by focusing on what surrounds us in our present environment. Grounding techniques help us break free from the grip of traumatic memories or sensations by redirecting our emotional distress into a conscious awareness of the present. When anxiety or stress threatens to overwhelm us, we reframe our focus away from our triggers and other discomforting situations.
The 5-4-3-2-1 method is a practical and accessible grounding technique. It encourages us to connect with one or more of our five senses to anchor ourselves to our physical environment. This practicality makes it easy to remember and apply in various situations.
For instance, if we’re feeling overwhelmed at work, we can take a moment to focus on the click-clack of our typing, the visuals of our computer screen, the reassuring aroma of our cologne, the bitter taste of our coffee, or the sensation of our ergonomic chair against our back. Our anxiety takes a back seat to our senses, and we become more capable of managing our emotions.
For some of us, performing the entire 5-4-3-2-1 sequence is cumbersome. Focusing on one or two senses is just as effective, making the process more manageable.
The vagus nerve is a network of fibers that regulates heart rate, respiration, mood, and stress responses. A significant component of our parasympathetic nervous system, the vagus nerve is the longest nerve in the body, running from our brainstem to the abdomen, and it plays a crucial role in deactivating the fight-or-flight responses.
Other effective grounding methods, such as progressive muscle relaxation and controlled breathing, stimulate the vagus nerve to slow our heart rate and breathing, which also moderates the level of our stress response.
A common symptom of social anxiety is the persistent worry that others will become aware of our condition by observing specific physical reactions such as blushing, hyperventilating, sweating, trembling, or vocal tremors. Grounding reduces our fear of visibility by refocusing our attention on the immediate environment and our presence in it.
Visualization
Visualization involves creating mental images to counteract fear situations, reduce anxiety, and boost performance and confidence. By visualizing a positive experience, we reframe our worst-case scenario projections. For instance, if we feel overly anxious before a public speaking event, visualizing a successful presentation in detail helps us replace negative thoughts and behaviors with healthier, productive ones.
The same activity benefits any fear situation by replacing a negative outlook with a positive, productive one.
All information passes through our brain’s thalamus, which makes no distinction between inner and outer realities. Whether we imagine an action or physically perform it, the same neural regions are activated.Visualizing raising our left hand is, to our brain, the same as physically raising it, providing similar neural benefits.
Visualization is a scientifically supported toolthat helps us manage anxiety and fear. It activates our dopaminergic reward system, decreasing the neurotransmission of anxiety- and fear-provoking hormones and accelerating and consolidating the transmission of beneficial hormones.
This dynamic tool helps manage anxiety and fear by activating our dopaminergic reward system, which releases dopamine—the neurotransmitter linked to pleasure and reward. When activated, it reduces the transmission of anxiety-inducing hormones and speeds up the release of beneficial ones.
Additionally, when we visualize, our brain generates alpha waves, which can significantly lessen symptoms of anxiety and depression, making us feel calmer and less stressed.
Research indicates that visualizing a situation beforehand not only improves mental and physical skills but also enhances social abilities. By consciously creating positive scenarios, we can significantly improve social interaction and increase our chances of success in real-life situations.
Since a key goal of visualization is to replace or overcome negative patterns with positive outcomes, it is important to visualize detailed, positive scenarios f situations where we tend to project worst-case outcomes.
Setting Boundaries
One of the best ways to avoid a potential threat is not to put ourselves in that situation in the first place. We do that by establishing boundaries.
Boundaries are the standards of treatment we believe we are entitled to and are comfortable with. They define which behaviors towards us are acceptable or unacceptable and shield us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations. They allow us to assert our identity, empower our goals and objectives, and prevent others from manipulating, exploiting, or taking advantage of us. Boundaries give us the power to shape our lives, instilling a profound sense of control and confidence.
Our social anxiety has a profound effect on our ability to express ourselves and hold others accountable. Our fear of criticism and rejection can lead to obsessive concern about how people evaluate us. And our yearning for acceptance often overshadows our need to set conditions for our own security and happiness. The fear of upsetting or distancing others can inhibit our ability to set boundaries.
It’s not uncommon for us to create codependent relationships where one partner prioritizes the other’s needs over their own, maintaining excessive emotional reliance on their partner. In these dysfunctional situations, our low self-esteem and craving for approval can lead us to attach ourselves to controlling or manipulative individuals, becoming dependent on them for a sense of worth.
Relationship Boundaries
Our social impotence often leads us to believe that setting boundaries hinders our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. We fear asserting ourselves will lead to rejection and isolation, and think that setting boundaries will only aggravate our loneliness. Rather than saying no, we often overextend ourselves and prioritize others’ needs above our own, which can leave us feeling inferior, resentful, and exploited.
Learning to say no, however, brings a profound sense of relief, easing the tendency to put others’ needs before our own and lightening our emotional load.
Boundaries serve as the foundation of all healthy relationships. They don’t distance us from others but bring us closer by clearly defining our needs and wants. By setting boundaries, we encourage open communication, ensuring we live in alignment with our values while respecting those of others, fostering a deep sense of connection and understanding.
Social Anxiety’s Impact on Boundaries
Our obsession with perfection consistently reminds us of our insecurities. Our symptomatic negative self-analysis provokes those core beliefs of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness.
The long and short of it is that we want to be loved, but we don’t believe we are because we think we are unworthy. In pursuing perfectionism, we become consummate enablers and codependents, compensating for our feelings of inadequacy. We seek affirmation and appreciation, yet we allow ourselves to be bullied and taken advantage of.
Boundaries not only establish the standard of treatment we believe we are entitled to, but they also empower us to assert our rights. Like fences that provide us with privacy and help us feel safe, boundaries protect our emotional and mental well-being.
One client who held a degreeless job in the college system felt intimidated and frustrated at social events where everyone discussed their academic accomplishments and publications. He simply set a boundary with his employer, where he would not be required to attend these sessions. It may seem like an insignificant demand, but it helped him maintain his sense of self-esteem and value to the institution.
Setting boundaries can be particularly daunting for those grappling with issues of self-worth. However, there are strategies we can employ to prioritize our needs and avoid feelings of inferiority, resentment, and loneliness.
Let’s focus on eight types of boundaries that we should consider establishing.
Physical boundaries include the autonomy of our bodies and personal space. Healthy boundaries establish our comfort zone. We might say, ‘I prefer not to hug people,’ to set a physical boundary. ‘It’s a personal choice,’ or ‘It’s a cultural thing.’
Intellectual boundaries comprise our ideas, beliefs, and thoughts. A thoughtful boundary also respects others’ boundaries. Dismissing or belittling ideas, beliefs, thoughts, and opinions about us invalidates our intellectual boundary. If we disagree, it’s better to say, ‘I appreciate your opinion, but I don’t fully support it,’ or ‘Let’s agree to disagree.’
Our feelings and personal details are part of our emotional boundaries. When someone criticizes, minimizes, or shares our feelings or personal information without our permission, they violate these boundaries, leading to feelings of betrayal, loss of trust, and emotional distress.
Material boundaries refer to our financial resources and possessions. When we feel pressured to lend or give things away or to spend money when we prefer not to, our boundaries for financial resources and belongings are breached. One effective response might be, ‘I’m on a tight budget. I prefer to share expenses this evening.’
Internal boundaries support self-regulation. Occasionally, we prioritize the energy we expend upon others over our personal needs. This is especially relevant to our desire for acceptance and companionship. When someone attempts to invade our internal boundaries, an acceptable response might be, ‘I’ve been working all week. I need time to recoup and spend quality time with myself. I’ll call you tomorrow.’
Conversational boundaries establish topics we may or may not feel comfortable discussing. Money, religion, and politics easily fall within this category. So, an adequate response to someone infringing on these boundaries might be, ‘ I am uncomfortable discussing this and would rather not be part of this conversation.’
Maintaining healthy time boundaries can be challenging as we juggle a job, relationships, children, and other responsibilities. These boundaries are crossed when others make unreasonable demands or requests for our time and attention. We overextend ourselves by taking on more than we can handle. Establishing time boundaries early avoids miscommunication. ‘I can only stay for half an hour. I have another commitment later this afternoon.’
Sexual boundaries protect our intimate personal space. When someone pressures us into unwanted or unwarranted intimacy, touching, or sexual activity, or when someone expresses hostility toward our choices, they invade our sexual boundaries.
We establish and maintain healthy boundaries when we:
Retain the ability to decline anything we don’t want to do.
Express our feelings responsibly.
Talk about our shared experiences freely and honestly.
Set our boundaries in the moment.
Address problems directly with the person involved rather than with a third party.
Make our expectations clear. It is irrational to assume people will figure them out.
Can say ‘no’ comfortably and accept when someone else says ‘no.’
Communicate our wants and needs clearly.
Honor and respect the needs of others without compromising our own.
Respect the values and beliefs of others even if they conflict with our own.
Unhealthy Boundaries
Where unhealthy boundaries exist, safety in the relationship is compromised, leading to dysfunctional relationships where needs remain unmet. Here are some examples of times we failed to set appropriate boundaries. When we:
Find it challenging to say ‘no’ or have difficulty accepting ‘no’ from others.
Neglect to communicate our needs and wants clearly.
Easily compromise our personal values, beliefs, and opinions to satisfy others.
Become coercive or manipulative to persuade others to do something they don’t want.
Overshare personal information.
How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is about being transparent about our expectations and creating a safe and respectful space where needs are met. It requires good communication skills that convey clarity and assertiveness, ensuring that our interests are valued and that we are in control of our lives.
Assertiveness is a key component of setting healthy boundaries. It’s not about making demands, but about expressing our feelings openly, respectfully, and without hostility. It’s a communication style that fosters understanding and respect by asserting our needs and priorities.
Here are a few things to consider when we set our boundaries:
Have a Clear Goal. What is the outcome we want to achieve in setting this boundary?
Understand Our Motivations. Why do we need to set this boundary?
Be Courageous. Setting boundaries can have repercussions, such as people becoming defensive, argumentative, or even ending the relationship.
Keep It Simple. Setting boundaries doesN’t have to be complicated. In fact, less is often more when it comes to communicating our boundaries. It’s prudent not to overload the other with too many details.
Be kind to yourself and others. Remember, setting boundaries is not about being biased or manipulative. It’s about respecting yourself and others. So, be thoughtful with your words and actions, and always consider others’ feelings and needs.
Completions
Our need for perfectionism causes us to procrastinate completing tasks because we fear they will not meet our expectations. Our constant fear and worry that we will be criticized or rejected causes us to put off attending social events or scheduling classes. Delaying or postponing things leaves things we need or want to do unfinished, creating self-disappointment and resentment.
Completion is not just about ticking off a task from our to-do list; it’s about achieving a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It involves taking action, finding resolutions, and achieving fulfillment. When we finally complete tasks, especially those we’ve been procrastinating on, we experience a profound sense of relief and liberation.
Completions create mental space for new learning, ideas, and concepts to emerge. Psychologically, these completions provide a sense of closure, crucial for our emotional well-being.
Experts recommend adding items to an active list whenever a task or idea comes to mind. Sometimes, small projects seem unimportant, causing us to skip listing them and forget about them. Writing down ideas, projects, and other important or productive tasks does two things: it prevents us from forgetting something crucial and frees up our minds for other activities.
I prioritize my tasks using a color-coding system: turquoise for urgent tasks, pink for high-priority projects, and so on. This system helps me stay organized and in control. I review this list regularly to see how well I am managing my tasks.
During recovery, we use graded exposure (systematic desensitization) to address completion anxiety – the fear or discomfort that can happen when facing a task that needs finishing. We start with smaller projects, like cleaning out the garage, weeding the garden, or reconnecting with family members.
These small victories are not insignificant; they are formidable steps to greater accomplishments. Achieving a sense of completion and closure is essential for our emotional health. And it also clears mental space for other pursuits.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible. – Winston Churchill
This chapter is dedicated to our second recovery objective: to produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation that offsets the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism. One of the most potent yet often overlooked methods to achieve this transformation is through the use of positive personal affirmations (PPAs).These affirmations have the power to bring about significant and positive changes in our mental landscape.
Our Resistance
Our underestimation of the power of PPAs is largely due to a lack of understanding of the science behind them.Many clients are deterred by misconceptions and new-age associations, which can be overcome by a deeper understanding of the psychological and neurological principles at play.
Positive personal affirmations are self-actualizing tools that counter our negative thoughts and self-appraisals, stimulating the brain regions involved in emotional processing and realignment. PPAs help us focus on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious mind.
PPAs are self-affirming statements that we repeat to ourselves to describe what and who we want to be.
While most refer to PPAs as simply ‘personal affirmations,’ the emphasis on positive helps counter social anxiety’s predictable negative trajectory and adverse self-appraisal.
While the practice of PPAs may seem deceptively simple, our social anxiety often leads us to question even the most reasonable concepts. However, it’s important to remember that the efficacy of PPAs is not determined by their complexity, but by their consistent application.
Opposing new ideas is a natural physiological reaction. Our brain’s inertia senses and repels change, and our basal ganglia resist modifying our behavior patterns. Thus, habits like smoking or gambling are hard to break, and new undertakings like recovery or a new diet are challenging to maintain.
Additionally, we all have a negativity bias that encourages distrust and favors inaction. Like most humans, we are cognitively more receptive to adverse events than to positive ones.
It’s crucial to understand that the effectiveness of PPAs is not just a matter of belief or opinion. It is backed by scientific research, providing concrete evidence of their validity and potential to bring about positive change.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The Science
Our neural network is a biological system of interconnected brain neurons that screens data. Our brain’s metabolism involves the complex chemical and electrical processes that influence and alter our neural circuitry. Positive neurological stimulation changes the polarity of our neural network from toxic to healthy.
Every human brain has roughly 200 billion neurons that relay electrical signals. Neural stimuli are sensory, i.e., sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. They are mental in the forms of memory, intellect, and intuition; physical in our somatic and physiological reactions; and emotional through images, words, experiences, and so on.
Proactive neuroplasticity helps reshape our neural network. By inputting short, self-affirming, and self-motivating statements as positive, personal affirmations, we influence our brain’s circuitry. The deliberate repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information not only restructures our neural network but also fosters new mindsets and abilities.
Neuroplasticity is not just a theoretical idea but a scientifically proven tool for changing our thoughts and actions. We accelerate and enhance learning (and unlearning) by intentionally guiding our brains to rewire their neural pathways. This process enables us to replace unhelpful motivations and maladaptive behaviors with more productive ones.
Repeating self-motivating statements produces all the benefits of proactive neuroplasticity, including long-term potentiation, increased nerve impulse strength along connecting axons, higher levels of BDNF, and abundant positive neural reciprocation.
Additionally, PPAs decrease the influx of our fear and anxiety-provoking hormones while triggering the release of hormones that produce cognitive viability and productivity.
Information Must Register
Neural information is registered stimuli, i.e., detected (noticed) and recorded. Most stimuli do not register. They are nugatory. Registered information can be positive, negative, or neutral.
When we register information, it activates receptor neurons, which in turn stimulate presynaptic neurons. These neurons then relay the information to postsynaptic neurons, triggering a neural chain reaction involving billions of connected neurons.
Every receipt of registered information engages a receptor neuron to fire. Each firing reshapes and strengthens the axon connections—the pathways neurons use to communicate. The more often they fire, the more neurons are affected, leading to multiple connections between receptor, sensory, and relay neurons, which in turn attract additional neurons.
Powered by repetition, this process accelerates learning by causing neural circuits to intricately form connections, reinforcing and consolidating the neural pathways responsible for processing information. It highlights our ability to shape our learning, productivity, and growth.
Accentuating the Positive
Neurons don’t act by themselves but through circuits that strengthen or weaken their connections based on electrical activity. When multiple neurons wire together, they heighten the activity of the axon pathway. Synaptic connections strengthen when two or more neurons are activated simultaneously.
The repeated and consistent stimulation of postsynaptic (relay) cells, which are the cells that receive signals from the presynaptic cells, increases learning efficiency. As neurons multiply, they amplify the energy carried by information. Energy refers to the size, amount, or degree of transfer during this process.
Neural circuits operate like muscles. The more repetitions, the stronger the connections. Repeated firings enhance and solidify the pathways between neurons, increasing the activity along the axon pathways.
By consciously choosing to input new information, we not only prompt our neural network to restructure but also strengthen and realign neural circuits. This confirms our significant role in shaping our emotional well-being and quality of life by proactively controlling the content of the information we input.
When multiple neurons fire repeatedly, they activate ‘long-term potentiation’, a scientific term that simply means the strengthening of connections between neurons over time. This process leads to higher levels of a protein called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), which supports the survival and growth of healthy neurons.
Constructing Our Information
Driven by our intentions andthe content of our information,this process enables us to determine the viability of the information.
To reiterate, our brain only registers information that it detects or notices. Most signals or stimuli we encounter are insignificant, meaning we do not detect them. If our brain does not register information, our receptor neurons remain unstimulated, and the information is inviable.
Changing our habits, removing ourselves from hostile environments, and breaking patterns that hinder our optimal functioning can be difficult. Our deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information refers to the intentional and consistent exposure to specific types of information that empowers us to take responsibility for our emotional well-being and quality of life by proactively controlling the content of the information we input.
Since our conscious brain ostensibly processes about 10 bits of data per second of the two billion bits that surround our sensory systems, inputting carefully crafted and relevant information to ensure its noticeability is crucial.
The Most Effective PPAs
The best PPAs are deliberate and tailored to our objectives. Are we confronting the negative thoughts and behaviors associated with our social anxiety? Are we reinforcing the character strengths and virtues that bolster recovery and transformation? And are we concentrating on a specific challenge? What is our ultimate aim, i.e., the personal milestone we aspire to reach? These are the questions that guide the creation of effective PPAs.
By setting clear, specific goals, we significantly enhance the quality of information that supports our desired outcomes. Each deliberate neural input alerts millions of neurons, accelerating and consolidating neural restructuring to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism. This focus on clear goals keeps us on track and enhances our progress.
How can affirmative statements or activities counteract years of negative self-assessment? The transformative power of PPAs is immeasurable. We witness the abundant positive neural reciprocation. We observe the increased activity in the self-processing systems of the cortex. We’re aware of the other scientific benefits of proactive neuroplasticity. We know it works because we see and experience the transformation.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Criteria
The most authentic and compelling PPAs are constructed using the following seven criteria.
Rational: A primary objective in recovery is to challenge our negative self-appraisals, which arise from core and intermediate beliefs shaped by childhood experiences and our current condition. These beliefs often manifest as automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) that are generally illogical and self-destructive. To counter them, we need to devise a rational response. For instance, if our ANT reflects a fear of ridicule related to social anxiety disorder (SAD), a possible rebuttal could be an affirmation that our opinions and contributions are as valuable as anyone else’s. This rational response enables us to take control of our thoughts and beliefs.
Reasonable: Being sensible in setting achievable expectations is a key to success. Unreasonable means we lack reason, a characteristic of insanity. We can either exercise sound judgment or be misled by cognitive biases. Rejecting our groundless thoughts and behaviors through reasonable and sound responses is necessary. For example, claiming, ‘I will publish my first novel,’ is unreasonable if we choose to remain illiterate. Setting reasonable and achievable expectations creates more realistic and manageable paths to success.
Unconditional: Our commitment to the content of our affirmations must be unwavering. Placing limitations on our commitment by using words like ‘maybe’ and ‘ might’ weakens our resolve. ‘Maybe I will start my diet’ is not a firm commitment. Conditional undertakings originate in doubt and manifest in avoidance. Qualifying or conditional words or statements provide an excuse to procrastinate, obfuscate, and justify our failures. (‘Imight have won if only …’)
Positive. When crafting our affirmations, we must avoid negative words. Instead of saying, ‘I will not be afraid,’ a more empowering statement could be, ‘I will be courageous.’ The use of positive language has the remarkable ability to uplift our spirits and foster an optimistic outlook.
Goal-focused: Knowing our destination is essential; otherwise, our path will be unfocused and aimless. The content of our information should concentrate on alleviating our deficits by recognizing our assets. If we avoid confrontation, an effective PPA would be ‘I will challenge my fears.’
First-Person Present or Future Tense: Recovery is a here-and-now process. Although it leaves its fingerprints on the future, the past is immutable. We have no control over it beyond our response to it. Recovery focuses on the present and its impact on the future.
Our affirmations should be timely and self-affirming, such as ‘I am viable,’ and ‘I have the willpower to succeed.’ Future-oriented affirmations, like ‘I will succeed,’ are equally effective.
Concise: Brief and clearly expressed PPAs are potent and effective. Additionally, they are easily memorized, which is essential as our PPAs evolve and adapt to the momentum of our recovery.
The ongoing self-appraisal of PPAs helps us focus on our goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds. Over time, we can replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones. PPAs rebuild self-esteem and empower us by teaching us to be more mindful of our character strengths, virtues, and attributes.
Repetition Ennui
Repeating PPAs is not a complex operation, but a manageable and straightforward process.
Notwithstanding, I have yet to work with a client who enjoys the daily repetitive process any more than the recalcitrant teenager likes cleaning their room. Many clients cite the weariness and boredom of repetition as their excuse for their laxness in practicing their PPAs.
Learning is dependent on repetition. It strengthens neural connectivity by consolidating our neural pathways. Long-term potentiation enhances receptivity and memory, as do the neurotransmissions of productive chemical hormones. This underscores the importance of regular PPA practice for significant mental health benefits.
The recommended process is to repeat aloud three self-motivating statements five times, three times a day (or all at once if you prefer), generating forty-five cellular chain reactions. The practice takes three to five minutes out of our day.
Repeating the same mantras multiple times daily may seem mind-numbing and frustrating. Nevertheless, it is a small investment of time for significant mental health benefits.
Many experts recommend we repeat our PPAs in front of a mirror. However, social anxiety generates irrational perceptions of unattractiveness and undesirability, which can devalue the mirror routine, so we perform our PPAs as a verbal/mental exercise.
Each positive neural input impacts millions of neurons as they restructure your neural network to a form conducive to a positive self-image. It decreases the fear and anxiety hormones, including cortisol, adrenaline, and norepinephrine, as our brain transmits GABA for relaxation, dopamine for pleasure and motivation, endorphins for euphoria, serotonin for a sense of well-being, acetylcholine to facilitate learning, glutamate that supports memory, and noradrenaline for concentration.
The Powerof Suggestion
In addition to the benefits of PPAs already enumerated, there is the power of suggestion, a potent force that triggers positive changes in our thoughts and behaviors. This power is deeply rooted in psychology and is attributed to our ‘response expectancies,’ or anticipations of a positive response. These expectations, which we often overlook, play a significant role in the power of suggestion, shaping our reactions and behaviors.
Think of PPAs as transformative tools, like self-fulfilling prophecies, that have the power to restructure our neural network. By intentionally repeating PPAs, we can harness focused neural stimulation to counteract the current abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Dear Subscribers, you are the backbone, heart, and soul of our organization. Your encouragement, wisdom, and support have been priceless to our growth and progress. We continue to build a meaningful and engaging relationship with those who need us and support us. The newsletter acts as a platform for your thoughts and contributions, showcasing your participation.
There is no newsletter for September. I am currently overwhelmed with refining the book and handling weekly edits for a tentative submission scheduled for the end of November. I am still negotiating with several publishers. Including Fulton Books, Palmetto, and McGilligan.
I will continue to publish our weekly article on the ReChanneling website but have postponed any additional recovery workshops until 2026. Of course, I continue my work with my long-term clients and am always available to assist you with any issues or consultation at ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Additionally, much of my internet information was hacked last week. Which required a flurry of setting new passwords and replacing a number of credit cards. Luckily, I keep most of my password info on a separate portable flash drive. However, some older info was still on Google Password without 2-step verification and/or Authenticator. It was Google Password that was hacked. Word of advice, use Google Password for inconsequential passwords, but keep important information on a separate portable, removable flash drive.
Thank you for your patience and understanding. Have a great month.
Dr. Mullen
Items you would like included in your newsletter can be emailed to me directly at rmullenphd@gmail.com, or you can complete the form below.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
