Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

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The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.     

Eliminating Negative Self-Expression

“I believe that a negative statement is poison.
I’m convinced that the negative has power. It lives.
And if you allow it to perch in your house,
in your mind, in your life, it can take you over.”
— Maya Angelou

Anxiety is a normal facet of life, and the typical individual accords it appropriate deference. People experiencing social anxiety personify their anxieties, dramatize them, and obsess about their negative implications.

We create mountains out of molehills, spending hours in tortuous anticipation of projected adverse outcomes. We beat ourselves up daily for our perceived incompetence and inability to function socially. 

Social anxiety is the most common emotional malfunction in the U.S. after major depression and alcohol abuse, and the three conditions are commonly comorbid. A debilitating and chronic affliction, SAD wreaks havoc on the lives of those who experience it.

People impacted by its negative self-appraisal feel shame for their condition because it makes them feel inadequate and inferior. Shame is painful and incapacitating. It makes us feel powerless and acutely diminished. Shame compels us to hide and become invisible, withdrawing from the world and avoiding human connection. 

Social interactions are clumsy, small talk is inelegant, and attempts at humor can be embarrassing. We self-prophesize criticism, ridicule, and rejection. Our symptoms are repressive and intractable, imposing counterproductive thoughts and behaviors. SAD establishes its authority through defeatist measures produced by inaccurate and unsound interpretations of reality.

Employing negative and self-defeating words and expressions exacerbates our condition because we are already symptomatically inclined toward negativity and adverse self-appraisal.

“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)

Words Have Immense Power

Understanding the immense power of words is crucial. They can influence, encourage, and even heal. Words are not just a means of communication but a source of compassion, creativity, courage, and intimacy. They can evoke desire, emotion, fear, and joy. And most importantly, they can significantly lift our spirits, inspire our imaginations, or plunge us into despair. But with the right words, we can find hope and inspiration in our recovery journey. 

Recovery from social anxiety and related conditions is not just about understanding and alleviating our irrational fears and anxieties. It’s a transformative journey toward self-empowerment. It’s about rebuilding our self-esteem and motivation. And rediscovering our inner strengths. It’s a challenging journey, but one that is full of growth potential and the promise of a brighter future.

Employing negative and self-defeating words and expressions exacerbates our condition because we are already symptomatically inclined toward negativity and adverse self-appraisal.

Recovery Goals and Objectives

Our primary goal is the alleviation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We achieve this by emphasizing the following objectives:

• Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
• Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
• Regenerate our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through mindfulness and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.

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For Information

“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.

Negative Trajectory

Our journey towards negativity begins in childhood, where disturbances prompt the formation of our negative core and intermediate beliefs. These beliefs, in turn, establish the attitudes, rules, and assumptions that shape our self-beliefs and relationships with others and the world. We express these inaccurate self-beliefs in our behaviors and automatic negative thoughts.

Negative Overabundance

Negative words do not just influence us; we are consumed and conditioned by them. Some of us repeatedly use the exact unfortunate words, unconsciously reinforcing their power. The more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more it shapes our beliefs and attitudes.

Experts speculate that, by age sixteen, we have heard the word “no” from our parents roughly 135,000 times. This overabundance of negativity can have a detrimental effect on our mental health, supporting our feelings of helplessness and unworthiness.

Our brain accelerates and consolidates learning (and unlearning) through repetition. The illusory truth effect describes how repeatedly hearing the same false information compels us to accept it as accurate and truthful. Recognizing the harmful impact of words and expressions is a formidable step towards breaking free from their influence and fostering a healthier mindset.

Neural Negativity

Our neural network, the complex system of neurons in our brain, has structured itself around emotionally hostile information. It is not just the words we say out loud in criticism and conversations. The self-annihilating words we silently assign to ourselves are even more destructive. They drive our neural network to transmit chemical hormones that impair our logic, reasoning, and communication – neurotransmissions that adversely impact the parts of our brain that regulate our memory, concentration, and emotions.

Our overall recovery objective is to replace negative neural inputs with positive, productive ones. One of many effective coping mechanisms, positive reframing, is simply turning a negative perspective into a positive one. There are always multiple perspectives to any situation. While we may not control everything, we control how we react and respond, empowering us to choose a positive and productive path forward. 

This strategy of positive expression helps us replace negative thoughts and behaviors and allows us to take control of our mental health journey, generating personal growth and empowerment. By embracing this approach, we pave the way for a brighter, more fulfilling future.

Negative Words Categories

We all have adverse thoughts and reactions. That’s the nature of being human. Those of us experiencing social anxiety disorder and related conditions carry an unfortunate abundance of negativity in our neural networks due to our negative trajectory and symptomatology, which refers to the pattern of negative thoughts and the symptoms of our condition. We must work harder than the non-afflicted to offset this abundance in our brains’ metabolism.

The Categories of Negative Words

Three categories or types of negative words and expressions concern us.

• Negative Absolutes
• Qualifiers
• Pressure words.

These words can further our isolation and avoidance of relationships, devalue our commitment, and provoke our sense of incompetence and inadequacy.

It is essential and empowering to become mindful of and eliminate these types of words from our thoughts and vocabulary. This awareness and practice of mindfulness is not just a step but a necessary tool toward personal growth and improvement. By taking control of our language, we can boost our confidence and sense of empowerment. 

Dr. Mullen’s Speaking Engagements

Pressure Words and Statements

Pressure Words like “should” and “would” dilute our commitment. Saying “I should start my diet” implies uncertainty and ambiguity. These expressions allow us to change our minds, procrastinate, and potentially fail. (We are either on a diet or will be on a diet.) The pressure stems from the guilt of ostensibly doing nothing (“I should’ve done that”). Compare “I shouldn’t drink at the office party” to “I will not drink at the office party.” We take control and feel confident in our decisions by making a firm commitment. 

Negative Absolute Words and Statements

The impact of “won’t,” “can’t,” and the like is obvious. These are examples of negative absolute words, which are words that express a complete lack of possibility or potential. Consider the following two statements: “I won’t learn anything from that lecture” and “I always learn something.” Which one offers the probability we will attend? By avoiding negative absolute words, we open ourselves to possibilities. Other negative absolute words include “never,” “impossible,” and “every time.” (Every time I try…)

Conditional Words and Statements

Conditional words and statements are contingent upon something else. For something to happen, something else must be implicated. A conditional clause is made up of two parts, a main clause and an “if” clause. An example is “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade.”

Conditional words like “possibly” and “maybe” weaken our resolve and commitment. They originate in doubt and manifest in avoidance and procrastination. “Maybe I will clean my room” is not a firm commitment. Ask any adolescent. We gain clarity and feel more decisive in our commitments by eliminating these words.

Qualifying and conditional words or statements provide an excuse to deviate and obfuscate. “I will not drink at the office party” is a more robust commitment than “I will not drink at the party unless I get nervous.” Qualifying or conditional words and statements are pre-justifications for our lapses and failures. Other conditional words include “ought,” “might,” and “have to.” Example: “I might have won if only …”

The Word Hate

Some experts argue that the word or sense of hate has value in healing, particularly in the context of acknowledging and processing strong emotions. However, it’s important to remember that these sentiments and the word itself are often associated with rage, resentment, and fear, feelings we strive to manage and alleviate in recovery from social anxiety. Managing the word ‘hate’ is a crucial part of our emotional recovery process.

It’s easy to be uncomfortable with opposing views or beliefs, especially if they can be harmful. We may feel sorry for beliefs borne of ignorance. We may feel anger or disdain if disinformation perpetrates opinions (deliberate inaccuracy for personal gain). However, it is never profitable to hate them.

We reclaim our power by actively eliminating these negative words and feelings from our self-referencing thoughts and usage. This intentional activity prompts us to take control of our language and, in turn, our thoughts and behaviors. This process can lead to positive change and personal growth, allowing us to focus on more constructive and empowering ways of thinking and speaking.

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.