Category Archives: Behavior

Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

November 10, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Events

~~September 2026:~~ ~~Guest Blog~~ – Wild Ink Publishing
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
~~October 23, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro~~
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 readers in Pasadena
November 14, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
November 23, 2026: The Bobby Jones Show; TN & NJ
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT.
TBD: 1767 readers in Liverpool
TBD: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
TBD: Return engagement with Ari Shapiro

Upcoming Seminars by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

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Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

We continue our overview of the eight most prevalent defense mechanisms used by people experiencing social anxiety. Last week, we tackled:

avoidance (e.g., evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort),
compensation (e.g., overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy),
denial (e.g., refusing to acknowledge a problem),
displacement (e.g., taking frustrations out on others),

This week we examine the remaining four:

dissociation (e.g., mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations),
projection (e.g., attributing our flaws to others),
rationalization (e.g., justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations),
and the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

The self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors caused by our condition can be difficult for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies that protect our well-being from emotional turmoil.

Defense mechanisms are healthy when used to manage our emotional well-being, but they become problematic when we rely on them to avoid reality. Recovery involves examining and understanding how these strategies sustain our irrational thoughts and behaviors.

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It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

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DISSOCIATION

An essential part of recovery is distancing ourselves from our condition—stepping outside the bullseye, as it were. As long as we remain entwined with our social anxiety disorder, we tend to see ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. These core beliefs, identified by the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, Dr. Aaron Beck, and expanded upon in our workshops, contribute to our social anxiety and depression.

Traditionally, dissociation is an unconscious disconnection from reality. It allows individuals to mitigate the effects of trauma by severing specific mental connections. Theoretically, our minds unconsciously block memories, emotions, thoughts, and impulses that threaten our emotional well-being.

For instance, a person who has experienced a traumatic event might dissociate from triggers that could rekindle the trauma, effectively ‘shutting off’ the emotions and memories associated with the event.

Dissociation can present itself as depersonalization (self-detachment) or derealization (environmental detachment).

In recovery, we view dissociation on a spectrum. On one end, daydreaming or watching television to avoid conflict is a harmless form of dissociation, while at the other end we find the development of multiple personalities; a psychosis called DID (dissociative identity disorder) requires specialized treatment.

Our first exercise in our book, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, was to begin to dissociate ourselves from our social anxiety. We learn to define ourselves by our character strengths, such as kindness, fairness, creativity, and optimism, rather than by the symptoms of our condition. We are not our social anxiety. We are intelligent and resilient individuals experiencing the reparable symptoms of social anxiety.

This shift in self-appraisal enables us to take control of our condition, which significantly weakens it.

Uncoupling from our condition lets us objectively analyze negative thoughts and behaviors, enabling us to respond rationally and productively. By consciously disassociating, we can deactivate the self-destructive aspects of our condition and activate our strengths, virtues, attributes, and accomplishments. This encourages us to focus on the positive aspects of our character, thereby overriding the negative self-appraisals triggered by our social anxiety.

We are not our social anxiety. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the pain of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition. We are not our symptoms or traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of a devious and powerful mental health condition. This understanding frees us from the shackles of our condition, enabling us to thrive and recover.

PROJECTION

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which we attribute our undesirable thoughts, feelings, impulses, or behaviors to another person or group to avoid confronting and dealing with them.

When we project, we subconsciously deny certain negative character traits in ourselves while recognizing or creating them in others. For example, we might project our fear of negative evaluation by ridiculing someone else’s inept attempt at socializing. Or if we carry repressed anger to a company event, we might perceive others as belligerent and aggressive rather than acknowledging our own hostility.

Projection serves as a protective shield for our emotional well-being, offering relief from anxiety-provoking thoughts or feelings. By attributing our problems to someone or something else, we create a safe distance from what distresses us about ourselves.

For instance, someone who is dishonest might constantly suspect others of lying, or the bar patron on his fifth scotch might criticize the obvious inebriation of the person at the other end of the bar.

Often, when we instinctively dislike or avoid someone, we unconsciously project our disagreeable traits and impulses onto them.

Psychological projection occurs when we are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for our fears, anxieties, prejudices, and irrational thoughts and behaviors. It is easier to recognize negative emotions in others than to acknowledge them in ourselves.

Like many defense mechanisms, projection may be healthy in the short term; however, recovery compels us to address the causes of our projection.

The long-term effects of persistent anxiety projection are detrimental to our health and may exacerbate the traditional symptoms of our social anxiety, including chronic stress, the constant influx of fear- and anxiety-provoking hormones, and decreased or stagnant self-esteem.

Anxiety Projection

Anxiety projection is particularly relevant to our condition. Unconsciously projecting our anxious thoughts, feelings, or impulses onto others or onto external situations helps us cope with emotions that threaten our emotional stability. Rather than acknowledging our fears or insecurities, we deny them by attributing them to external sources.

The traits that lead to anxiety projection are common in social anxiety. They include social avoidance, overthinking, perfectionism, porous emotional boundaries, and codependency. Recognizing these traits can help us better understand and manage our condition, knowing that we are not alone in this struggle.

Socially, projected anxiety can create a cycle of misunderstanding and conflict. For instance, someone projecting their insecurities might accuse their partner of being unfaithful without evidence, which can easily lead to relationship conflict. We tend to avoid companionship and intimacy in anticipation of rejection. Projecting these fears allows us to evade responsibility.

Practical strategies for managing anxiety projection are within our reach. They focus on increasing self-awareness, challenging cognitive distortions, and reframing our fears and self-appraisals. By implementing these strategies, we learn to manage our issues rather than projecting them onto an unsuspecting external source.

RATIONALIZATION

Rationalization is not the same as rational thought or rational coping statements, which are logical, self-affirming responses to our automatic negative and intrusive thoughts and other irrational and destructive self-appraisals that threaten our emotional well-being.

Rationalization is a defense strategy in which we justify uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with allegedly logical explanations rather than acknowledging the actual reason behind them.

In essence, we deny or distort reality (attributes of cognitive distortions) to reduce our emotional discomfort and self-disappointment by inventing a plausible excuse that masks the real explanation for our behavior or feelings.

For example, if we are socially rejected, we might convince ourselves that the person is already in a relationship. If our presentation is substandard, we blame the lighting and tech.

These excuses shield us from self-recrimination, blame, and disappointment.

Rationalization allows us to reframe our actions or feelings in a more socially and personally acceptable way, protecting our self-esteem and avoiding emotions that challenge our self-image. Psychologists consider defense mechanisms such as rationalization and projection to be unconscious strategies that protect us from threats to our self-esteem.

Although rationalizations misrepresent our true motivations, they protect us from the shame, guilt, or anxiety we might feel when we fail to fulfill our true intentions. Rationalization plays a crucial role in maintaining our emotional stability by revising our interpretations of outcomes.

We rationalize our thoughts and behaviors to make them more acceptable, shielding us from negative self-appraisal and helping us maintain a positive self-image. This reassurance is a key function of rationalization.

We rationalize to protect our self-esteem and maintain a positive outlook, and in the short term, this provides comforting relief. It helps us alleviate stress until we are better equipped to process our motivations.

However, excessive use of rationalization can lead to further problems. Denying, ignoring, or subordinating the truth of a traumatic situation, whether consciously or unconsciously, prevents us from honestly evaluating our reactions and responses and from making positive changes.

Deflecting Responsibility

When we experience anxiety or guilt about our actions, rationalization offers an emotional escape. It replaces discomfort with emotionally acceptable explanations, but it also enables us to evade responsibility for the outcome, which is a crucial point to consider.

An excellent example of rationalization is the dieter who opts out of the recommended exercise regimen because it is too time-consuming and because they have failed at in the past — so what’s the point?

Rationalization versus Lying

It’s important to distinguish between rationalization and deception. While lying is a deliberate attempt to mislead, rationalization is a largely or entirely unconscious strategy. Both conceal the truth and mask our real motives.

Rationalization, in its various forms—such as minimizing, deflecting, blaming, and attacking—is a common human experience. We’ve all been in situations where we downplay a task’s importance, shift blame to others, or make excuses for our actions. Rationalization is a natural defense mechanism that keeps us from taking responsibility and shields us from feelings that could challenge our self-esteem.

While it defends against distressing thoughts, erratic behavior, and failed outcomes, rationalization sidesteps the deeper problems that require attention.

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

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REPRESSION, SUPPRESSION, REGRESSION

Repression

Repression operates at the deepest level of our unconscious mind. It’s a process in which we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too difficult to handle. In psychology, repression is the process of keeping specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.

While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that it can lead to enduring psychological issues. These memories, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions.

For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might steer us away from specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.

These occurrences can trigger anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression for our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.

Suppression

Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a conscious choice to set aside painful thoughts and memories to address them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery, as it allows us to resolve the issues we have temporarily suppressed.

Understanding the distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is essential. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a conscious decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition so we can address them dispassionately and objectively.

Understanding these nuances can provide deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery, making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.

Repression is often confused with denial, a defense strategy in which we refuse to admit unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even in the face of evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth.

For example, a person in denial about their addiction may refuse to acknowledge their problem despite clear evidence.

Repression, on the other hand, involves the unconscious dismissal of thoughts. It’s the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by pushing it out of conscious awareness.

Regression

We sometimes conflate regression with repression. Regression is reverting to an earlier or less mature stage of psychological development, where we feel safe from emotional conflict. Repression is the unconscious attempt to forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires.

Both are psychological mechanisms for unconsciously forgetting or blocking distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a serious psychological issue that requires more specialized treatment, which a traditional recovery program does not provide.

A primary objective of a treatment program is to unblock these memories and emotions to address the root causes of our unconscious unwillingness or inability to confront distressing or traumatic events or situations.

Certain aspects of our person are broken. It is impossible to fix something broken unless we clearly understand its causes. It’s like a novice car mechanic attempting to rebuild a transmission without knowing the basics of engine operation.

How do we identify the defense strategy we use to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable or unmanageable issue? It’s like recognizing an unfamiliar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain precisely how you know, but you do.

Similarly, we often recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action. This underscores the importance of self-awareness in identifying, understanding, and accepting why we use certain defense mechanisms to avoid confronting the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences.

This correctly suggests that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, understand, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid confronting the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. During recovery, we learn specific coping strategies that reduce our emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.

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Book Review

OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY STEP BY STEP

By Thomas A. Richards, PhD.

Director of The Social Anxiety Institute in Phoenix, which has been offering its own brand of therapy and workshops for over thirty years. Dr. Richards provides a comprehensive and easily digestible manual covering the many tools and techniques used for recovery from social anxiety.

While his presentation of recovery strategies and overview of self-directed neuroplasticity are limited, Richards offsets this with clear, meticulous explanations of each clinical procedure. Unlike A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, the author doesn’t dwell on client and personal stories and anecdotes, nor does he propose a linear recovery program. Instead, he describes each technique and its application in meticulous, extensive detail.

I highly recommend Overcoming Social Anxiety Step by Step as an excellent companion piece to my book. If my presentation of certain recovery methods is lacking or ambiguous, this book clarifies them. While I digress into personal and client experiences, Dr. Richards provides solid, easily understood descriptions of the tools and techniques clinicians recommend for recovery.

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

The Art Of Imperfect Creation By Sierra Melcher — TYPO. The Art of Imperfect Creation

Celebrating Poetry By Cindy Georgakas — Celebrating Poetry

How To Be Yourself By Ellen Hendriksen — How to Be Yourself

Handwiring Happiness By Rick Hanson — Hardwiring Happiness

All The Words I Kept Inside By P. J. Gudka — All the Words I Kept Inside

The Choice by Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Choice

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INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) reduce symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives — harnessing our natural ability for extraordinary living. Our core approach focuses on personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, using neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and techniques to rebuild self-esteem. All donations go toward scholarships for groups and workshops.

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Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

November 3, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Coping Mechanisms, Defense Mechanisms, Depression, Recovery, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

_____________________________________________________

Events

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Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

The irrational thoughts and behaviors caused by our condition can be difficult for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies that protect our well-being from emotional turmoil.

We deny, avoid, or compensate for a problem instead of acknowledging it. We rationalize our actions, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.

Defense mechanisms help us avoid situations that threaten our fragile self-image. Without them, we can experience decompensation, characterized by emotional overload and an inability to effectively manage stress and maintain our mental health.

_____________________________________________________

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

Recognizing how we use defense mechanisms to avoid reality is a vital step toward recovery. It helps us turn them into tools for growth and healing and empowers us to take control of our mental well-being and navigate recovery with confidence.

To date, psychologists have identified more than thirty defense mechanisms. Eight are especially relevant to social anxiety:

avoidance: evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort.
compensation: overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy.
denial: refusing to acknowledge a problem.
displacement: taking out frustrations on others.
dissociation: mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations.
projection: attributing our flaws to others.
rationalization: justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations.
the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

AVOIDANCE

A primary SAD symptom is our intense fear or anxiety in social situations, which leads us to avoid interacting with others. Human interconnectivity is essential for emotional health. Turning down opportunities to socialize exacerbates our isolation and limits opportunities for intimacy and friendship.

However, there is a clear distinction between avoiding something out of fear and avoiding it for rational reasons. Discretion in whom and where we engage is essential, as is adhering to our established boundaries and avoiding situations that threaten our physical or emotional stability.

COMPENSATION

Compensation is a defense strategy we use when we try to excel in one area of our lives to hide perceived flaws in another. It helps us conceal or overcome these inadequacies by becoming skilled in something else.

For example, a student might compensate for academic difficulties by excelling in sports or other extracurricular activities. Someone who feels intellectually inferior might become an artisan; a socially awkward person might become a performer; and someone with body dysmorphia may become a fitness enthusiast.

When used prudently, however, compensation can be a powerful tool for healing. We counteract our imperfections with positive, productive traits. We boost our self-esteem by reclaiming our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. We replace negative thoughts with positive stimuli.

However, the tendency to overcompensate is common among those of us experiencing social anxiety. In fact, it is often part of our daily struggles. The term refers to an overreaction to feelings of inferiority, incompetence, or inadequacy, leading to overzealous attempts to suppress those feelings by striving for perfection or seeking validation from others.

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well; it’s an obsessive need to be flawless, with anything less being unacceptable.

Unfortunately, as perfectionists, we harshly criticize ourselves when we fall short of our self-imposed standards. We worry excessively about our behavior before and during social situations, and we ruminate on these worries long afterward. When things don’t go as planned, we find it hard to move forward.

Social Anxiety and Perfectionism

Social anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked. Both are associated with higher anxiety and lower psychological well-being.

People experiencing SAD often perceive situations in extremes. To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is disastrous. We view others as either supporting us or opposing us. The world appears black-and-white, with no middle ground or room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.

Perfectionists and those with social or performance anxiety often avoid situations that could lead to self-sabotage, disappointment, or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing the wrong thing and dread criticism and ridicule. These worries intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.

Perfectionism pushes us to set unreasonable expectations, such as performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and maintaining complete control. When we can’t meet these expectations, we feel incompetent and inadequate.

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DENIAL

Denial is a defense strategy that leads us to refuse to accept facts or recognize reality to avoid facing certain truths. It protects us from thoughts and emotions we cannot manage. It shields us from potentially destructive stimuli by blocking our conscious awareness of harmful or threatening elements in our memories, experiences, and environment.

We can also deny something we’re not ready to reveal or something that challenges our core beliefs and deeply held convictions.

Denial is a common way to avoid taking responsibility for our behavior. Many individuals with drug or alcohol addiction deny their habit. Trauma victims often deny that the disturbing experience ever occurred to avoid emotional confrontation.

While denial can offer temporary respite from what our minds find unmanageable, persistent use can impede our ability to face our fears and control our lives. Freud called denial the ostrich effect because we bury our problems in the sand.

Denying our condition is a pervasive problem. The inability or unwillingness to accept the personal impact of social and performance anxiety is clearly hostile to recovery. Even worse, many individuals who know they are affected resist recovery. This reticence stems from our core belief in hopelessness and worthlessness, which prevents us from making the effort.

DISPLACEMENT

Displacement is a defense strategy in which we redirect negative or hostile emotions to a less threatening or more acceptable target. Our minds look for a safer outlet for triggers that feel challenging or dangerous. Displacement helps us cope with unmanageable feelings by transferring them onto something or someone else.

By displacing negative emotions or distressing experiences, we temporarily ease the anxiety associated with the source of distress. In common vernacular, we take our frustrations out on someone else.

Unleashing our unmanageable feelings onto those who pose a limited threat, such as a roommate, sibling, or associate, has obvious repercussions. A chastised worker might go home, shout at his wife, run the lawnmower into the flowerbed, and upend the cat. Each recipient of their displacement is adversely affected.

Examples of displacement include the student, upset about poor grades, who bullies someone on the playground during recess, and the wife, frustrated by her husband’s lack of attention, who seeks another sexual outlet to suppress her feelings of rejection.

Another form of displacement is sublimation, in which we redirect unacceptable urges into socially acceptable activities, such as the individual who sublimates their carnal desires by working out at the gym or the alcoholic who frequents AA meetings.

Individuals experiencing social or performance anxiety are prone to displacement and sublimation to relieve their persistent self-doubt, isolation, and negative self-appraisal. For example, when we become overwhelmed by unresolved fears at the company convention, we might displace our anger and self-disappointment onto someone we dislike or sublimate our discomfort by going out on the dance floor.

It is crucial to recognize that, like all defense mechanisms, the relief from displacement is temporary. This shows that we must become more aware of our emotional processes and develop more productive coping strategies.

Next week, we’ll continue our discussion of defense mechanisms, including dissociation, projection, rationalization, and the triad of repression, suppression, and regression.

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

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Book Review

DARKBIRCH ACADEMY 3: FIRE AND SHADOWS

By Krista Graves

Admittedly, I am not an expert on super-natural fantasies. I couldn’t care less about Harry Potter, but I greatly enjoyed Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy (I’m a big fan of Ian McKellen), so I had mixed feelings about a dark fantasy featuring blood magic, covens, warring dragons, and a magic academy.

For those readers who ask why I am reviewing a dark fantasy, I have two responses: (1) The author appreciated my book on social anxiety, and I support my readers, and (2) I am a firm believer in the benefits of diversity, equity, and inclusion.

I asked Krista Graves which of her books she would recommend, given my interest in mental health, and the author recommended Darkbirch Academy 3: Fire & Shadows, which falls in the middle of a five-book series, denying me the benefit of knowing what came before and after but adding to the unpredictability of the meticulously shifting plot.

The author’s disclaimer that “Any resemblance to actual events, locales, entities, or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental,” is an understatement. The mix of political intrigue, whispers of the dead, romantic tension, and a complex cast of intriguing characters makes the journey highly enjoyable.

The tension and pacing never slow, which keeps the affair between the female warrior protagonist and an exiled dragon king captivating and the storyline unpredictable.

The novel is filled with nonstop action, suspense, and the inevitable cliffhanger that leads readers into Darkbirch Academy 4: Stars and Lies. If you are a fan of this genre, Krista Graves’ five-book series is a delightful romp into the world of dark fantasy.

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

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Fallacy of Fairness and Heaven’s Reward

October 27, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Cognitive Distortions, Depression, Positive Psychology, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

**Fallacy of Fairness and Heaven’s Reward**

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Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 26, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 26, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 members in Pasadena
November23, 2026: The Bobby Bones Show
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

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Fallacy of Fairness
and Heaven’s Reward

The Fallacy of Fairness

The “fallacy of fairness” is the unrealistic belief that life should be equitable. Most people grapple with this notion at some point, as we measure fairness by how well it meets our personal preferences.

We know how we want to be treated, and anything that conflicts with our expectations can seem unfair and, sometimes, unbearable.

Fairness, however, is a subjective assessment, shaped by our beliefs and experiences. It reflects our biased view of how others, institutions, and even nature should respond to our wants and expectations. When reality doesn’t align with our perceptions of fairness, we often experience self-indulgent emotions, like anger, self-pity, and disappointment.

The idea that everything should be fair and reasonable is noble, but it isn’t practical. People are inherently self-oriented, and institutions pursue their own agendas. Only nature itself is impartial.

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It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

_____________________________________________________

It is natural and reasonable to want things to go our way. However, expecting them to go our way is unrealistic. As Grandpa says in The Princess Bride, “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?

Our concept of fairness often rests on conditional assumptions that let us avoid personal accountability. For example, thinking, “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade,” overlooks the fact that effort does not always lead to comprehension. Teachers base grades on test results, and the willingness and ability to learn are subjective. It may seem unfair to the student, but that is wishful thinking.

An excellent example of the fallacy of fairness involves two friends who grow up in the same environment, attend the same college, and end up working at the same law firm. Paul is successful and on the fast track to partnership, while Andrew can’t climb the corporate ladder. Resentful of Paul’s success, Andrew is convinced the firm is mistreating him. He believes he deserves as much as his friend. Worse, he begrudges Paul for not supporting him as he thinks he should.

However, success relies on many factors, including luck, relationships, timing, and skill. Fairness isn’t a top priority for companies.

For those experiencing social anxiety, it is common to feel that life is unfair compared to people without these struggles. The phrase, “If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety,” is a common complaint. It is also flawed. Despite our desire to assign responsibility, the origins of childhood disturbance are often unclear, and blaming is not conducive to personal growth and recovery.

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Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

Closely related to the fallacy of fairness is the “heaven’s reward fallacy,” which is the belief that our hard work and selflessness will be justly rewarded. It assumes that if we act with grace and diligence, success and happiness will follow.

Aaron Beck describes this fallacy as the inaccurate belief that our hard work and altruism will be rewarded and that a higher power is keeping score. Although heavenly rewards refer to the afterlife, we still seek assurance in our present circumstances. Expecting reward for our productivity can cause disappointment and resentment when they don’t materialize.

Unhealthy Motivations and Their Consequences

Additionally, anticipating rewards for our actions often causes overcompensation, as we go beyond what is necessary to please others. In doing so, we become codependent, relying on others for our sense of worth and identity while neglecting our own needs.

Alternatively, we may enable others, justifying or supporting their behaviors to gain favor or friendship. This can lead to being exploited in our quest for validation.

Reasonable Expectations

Both the fallacy of fairness and the heaven’s reward fallacy stem from our desire for fairness and reciprocity. However, believing life is inherently fair and that our virtuous actions will be recognized is naive and unrealistic. We may convince ourselves our actions are selfless, but they are often driven by our need for acknowledgment and appreciation.

Fallacies in Relationships and the Workplace

Expecting equitable reciprocity in relationships is unrealistic. Our desire for acknowledgment can make us overly eager to please, which may be off-putting. When intimate partners fail to meet our expectations, it can lead to unhealthy, unsustainable relationships.

In the workplace, expecting special recognition for going above and beyond is all too common. Valuing ourselves based on how others perceive us, rather than on our abilities and work performance, can easily undermine collegiality and productivity.

Life is unpredictable, and our emotional well-being should come from within, not from external validation or rewards. Becoming aware of our tendency to fall into these fallacies can help us avoid the bitterness and self-recrimination that come with unmet expectations. By setting reasonable expectations and focusing on personal accountability, we can develop healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

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Film Review

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

By Alan Baiss & Joseh Garcia

An award-winning film by university colleagues of mine that incorporates integral psychology and transcultural wisdom and spirituality. The film correctly posits that an evolutionary shift in human consciousness is required before today’s global crises can be effectively and deeply addressed. It has been well-received worldwide

SÃO PAULO: October 29^th
BELO HORIZONTE: November 13^th
RECIFE: November 13^th
NATAL: November 18^th
RIO DE JANEIRO: November 27^th
BRASILIA: December 1^st and 15^th
I’ll review the film when it returns to the States.
It is an achievement that should be seen by everyone

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Other Recommended Books/Films from Clients and Colleagues

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Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

October 20, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, LGBTQ+, Mental Health, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

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Upcoming Events

September 2026: Guest Blog – Wild Ink Publishing
October 21, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
October 22, 2026: 1,000 readers in Wanstead, England
October 21, 2026: Conversation with Ari Shapiro
PBS Public Media hosted by Jade Hindman, San Diego
October 28, 2026: 8,300 readers in San Diego, CA
October 29, 2026: 1,800 readers in St. Paul, MN
The Bobby Bones Show: various including TN and NJ
November 3, 2026: 3,200 readers in London
November 10, 2026: 1952 members in Pasadena
November 24, 2026: 1,200 readers in Branford, CT
TBD November 2026: 1767 readers in Liverpool

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Understanding Our Inherent
Resistance to Recovery

Resistance to recovery is common among people with social and performance anxiety. They deeply desire emotional stability, but psychological and physiological resistance can make that goal difficult to attain.

When we resist, we avoid, deny, project, and reject, shutting ourselves off from new opportunities. True recovery requires us to understand and overcome our resistance to change and take steps to implement it.

Physiological Resistance

We often think of resistance as purely emotional, but our brain’s metabolism plays a major role. Our brain’s inertia naturally resists change, and our basal ganglia make it hard to modify established behaviors. The basal ganglia are a group of brain structures that play a role in learning and emotional processing. Their resistance is why breaking habits—whether negative ones like smoking or positive ones like recovery—is so challenging.

Psychological Resistance

Psychologically, our inherent negativity bias leads us to focus more on negative expectations than positive ones, which can result in self-sabotage and inaction.

Negativity bias is the tendency to pay more attention to and give greater weight to negative experiences and information. Early civilizations lived in environments filled with dangers that posed immediate threats to life and limb. Quickly identifying and responding to negative stimuli was a crucial survival advantage.

Over time, this heightened sensitivity to negative events became ingrained in our automatic responses. We tend to respond more to experiential fears than to positive or neutral ones.

Established Failures

Our experience of failure, real or perceived, further fuels our resistance. A major symptom of social and performance anxiety is the expectation of adverse outcomes, coupled with an awareness of past inadequacy. We convince ourselves that nothing has worked before, and our learned hopelessness reinforces that belief.

So, what is the point, we ask ourselves.

How do we learn if we resist learning? How do we change if our fear of change is so overwhelming that we refuse to consider the possibility of healing?

The Cycle of Self-Sabotage

Consider the inner turmoil of the self-saboteur, who undermines their own recovery. This pattern is both learned and deeply destructive, reinforcing our doubts and disrupting our progress.

Let me give you a personal example.

As a young actor, I was on the Hollywood fast track. I failed my audition for The Young and the Restless because the competition intimidated me. When my agent secretly set me up with Norman Lear, who was looking for writers, I fled the meeting, thinking my presence was a mistake. I blew my audition for a major film because I was crashing from speed, and I alienated William Friedkin during a drunken lunch at Musso & Frank’s. I even had the honor of being ‘escorted’ off the Paramount lot.

I could go on, but you get the gist. I squandered every opportunity because my social anxiety made me believe I was a waste of space and destined for failure. I was a consummate self-saboteur. A self-saboteur engages in behaviors that invite failure and hinder success.

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

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Nietzsche

In his book Beyond Good and Evil, Nietzsche wrote that “man is his own worst enemy because he has no other choice,” arguing that we are solely responsible for our actions and cannot blame external factors for our shortcomings. This view ignores our ingrained physiological resistance, our environment, and our childhood experiences, while denying us the choice to change our actions.

We can choose how we respond to challenges. We can choose emotional well-being and quality of life. The ability to choose wisely is the unshakeable gift that shapes our lives and guides our recovery.

Victimization

The term “suffer” is often used to describe our experience with social and performance anxiety. Phrases like “I suffer from social anxiety” are common, but they stem from a misunderstanding. The word “suffer” implies that we have no control over our condition, which is a flawed assumption.

Remember that our condition isn’t a life sentence; it is a challenge we can overcome with the right mindset and proactive steps.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

A self-fulfilling prophecy is a subjective expectation that shapes our behavior and often leads to the negative outcome we anticipate. When we expect the worst in social and performance situations, we set ourselves up for failure. We anticipate criticism or rejection, worry about embarrassing ourselves, and expect unpleasant consequences.

This self-destructive outlook leads us to lose heart and avoid steps that could yield more constructive outcomes.

Negative self-talk clearly reveals this pattern. Automatic negative thoughts such as “I’ll say something stupid,” “I’m not attractive enough,” “I’m not interesting,” and “I’m not good enough” reinforce our expectations of rejection and failure.

These harmful self-fulfilling beliefs have serious consequences. We avoid social interactions, shy away from closeness, criticize ourselves, and miss opportunities to build relationships.

By adjusting our expectations toward positive outcomes, we break free from the cycle of self-victimization. Instead of seeing ourselves as powerless and destined to fail, we recognize our innate capacity to transform.

This shift in perspective helps us move beyond self-defeating patterns and adopt a mindset that recognizes our true worth and potential.

When we project healthy, productive outcomes, we motivate ourselves to take the steps needed to turn those optimistic predictions into reality. This proactive approach builds confidence and resilience, empowering us to pursue our goals and create a more fulfilling life.

By focusing on positive possibilities, we create opportunities for personal growth and success rather than reinforcing negative expectations.

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Buy Now and Review

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Book Review

LETTERS TO A YOUNG POET

By Ranier Maria Rilke

I typically review books by colleagues and supporters. A student in one of our workshops shared that Rainer Maria Rilke’s Letters to a Young Poet profoundly supported many of the primary objectives of her recovery; thus, I include it here. This collection of ten letters, written to an aspiring young writer in 1929, offers a masterful reflection on Socratic reasoning and self-awareness.

Rilke’s concise, 33-page treatise offers guidance on living a meaningful and authentic life.

People experiencing social and performance anxiety are highly susceptible to criticism and evaluation by others.

Rilke advises us to explore our inner life and experiences rather than seek external validation, so we can develop and accept our own voice and connect authentically with others and the world.

He discourages reliance on criticism or public opinion. He encourages us to introspect and journal our thoughts and desires to ensure our expressions and beliefs are genuine, rather than simply adopting others’ thoughts and opinions.

He stresses that we must fully live and understand our experiences to express ourselves reliably and genuinely, and to draw inspiration from lived experience, nature, healthy relationships, and self-introspection. He believes we must recognize that all aspects of our life contribute to who we are and who we can become.

Rilke encourages us to embrace life’s uncertainties and cultivate resilience as we seek meaning. Our personal growth is inextricably linked to our experiences. Letters to a Young Poet is a timeless guide for anyone seeking insight into creativity, self-understanding, and the human condition.

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

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Control Fallacies

July 22, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P. J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.” (Amazon)

A Survivors Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

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Upcoming Seminar

October 14, 2026

Spotlight Event For Dr. Robert F. Mullen Writer Of A Survivors Common Sense Approach To Recovery From Social Anxiety

Reviews

To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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CONTROL FALLACIES

Cognitive Distortion

Do you believe that everything that happens around you is your fault, or do you feel powerless and unable to change anything? These questions touch on the cognitive distortion known as the control fallacy.

A fallacy is an inaccurate belief based on unreliable evidence or unsound arguments. The control fallacy specifically refers to the degree of control we believe we have over situations, life events, and the feelings and actions of others.

We believe we control things for which we are not accountable, or we are convinced that fate or other people control our behaviors and circumstances.

External Control Fallacy

The external control fallacy occurs when we convince ourselves that outside forces dominate our lives, especially when certain conditions or emotions seem unmanageable or when we feel incapable or unwilling to take responsibility for them.

For instance, delinquents might blame their parents, philanderers might blame their wives, or a student might falsely blame an instructor’s bias for a failing grade.

When we feel externally controlled, we tend to perceive ourselves as weak and impotent. This sense of powerlessness then leads to self-blame for our perceived ineptitude or to blaming others for their inadequate or disappointing decisions that adversely impact us. This mindset leads to feelings of being stuck, such as in a dead-end job or relationship.

Believing that we cannot change these situations leads to the ‘why bother syndrome‘, in which we assume that no matter what we do, the outcome will be the same, so we stop trying altogether. When we believe we lack the power to manage our own lives, we feel helpless, which inevitably leads to hopelessness.

Externally Controlling Social Anxiety

The biggest myth about external control is social anxiety. Once I understood how it manipulated me, I saw my youthful mistakes—my substance abuse, anger, confusion, and job struggles—as connected to my condition. Once I learned to manage my social anxiety, I was able to take responsibility for my actions. The same will happen to you.

Perceived Versus Actual Control

Social anxiety has such a strong influence that it shapes our irrational thoughts and behaviors, weakens our social skills, and blocks our ability to form relationships. This intense feeling of external control can make SAD seem all-powerful, dictating our every move.

However, true understanding comes through learning and unlearning. That’s when we realize that believing our condition controls us is a mistake. Social anxiety doesn’t have independent power over our lives. We let it influence us through ignorance or by avoiding confrontation and challenges.

Internal Control Fallacy

On the other hand, the internal control fallacy happens when we unjustifiably assume responsibility for others’ actions and situations. We think that if something goes wrong in someone else’s life, it must be our fault, even when there’s no reason to believe so. Our irrational mindset pushes us to feel responsible for others’ experiences and to blame ourselves for their struggles and unhappiness.

Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings or situation can cause us to blame ourselves for not fixing the problem. This guilt harms our relationships and raises our anxiety. Familiar thoughts might be, “It’s my fault my wife is unhappy,” or “He drinks because I don’t appreciate him.”

Such irrational thoughts seriously damage our self-esteem.

Our compulsion to blame ourselves for our condition, despite evidence to the contrary, is an internal control fallacy best left by the emotional roadside.

Breaking Free from Control Fallacies

Control fallacies involve wrongly blaming others or misattributing fault. Common sense tells us to take responsibility for our own actions, not for others’. Unfortunately, social anxiety isn’t governed by logic. We need to recognize when we fall into either form of this cognitive distortion and challenge it rationally.

Recognizing our misuse of control fallacies can be freeing, helping us understand why we feel compelled to control others or let others control us.

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

Optimal Happiness by Roman Russo — Optimal Happiness

The Life And Creative Works Of Paulo Coelho — Paulo Coelho

The Choice: Embrace The Possible By Dr. Edith Eva Eger — The Choice

International Handbook Of Love — Handbook of Love

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

Rechanneling.org by Dr. Robert F. Mullen

ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) reduce symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives — harnessing our natural ability for extraordinary living. Our core approach focuses on personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration, using neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, and techniques to rebuild self-esteem. All donations go toward scholarships for groups and workshops.

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

Life Just Isn’t Fair

July 15, 2026Behavior, Cognitive Distortions, Mental Health, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD
Director/ReChanneling

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Life Just Isn't Fair — Life Just Isn’t Fair

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.” – P. J. Gudka, author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside.” (Amazon)

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

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THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR REVIEW

I recognize that reviewing a non-fiction book on social anxiety can be challenging. However, without your support, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety might end up in the dustbin, instead of reaching those who need help. Early reviews indicate this book is an important and timely guide to understanding and overcoming social and performance anxiety.

Why are Reviews So Important?

Reviews influence retailer algorithms, boosting a book’s visibility. Without enough reviews, new books end up in the dustbin rather than helping those who need and deserve help.

Two Major Types of Book Reviews

Editorial reviews are professional reviews written by industry experts, journalists, or review organizations.

General reader reviews are honest opinions from former and current students, colleagues, group members, blog subscribers, friends, and those seeking relief from social and performance anxiety, depression, and related issues. An Amazon review doesn’t need to be academic or scholarly, but should reflect how the book affects you personally.

The review can be anything from a short paragraph or two to a lengthy one, like P.J. Gudka’s thoughtful and comprehensive review found HERE.

The Numbers

While there is no strict number, aiming for at least 20-50 reviews is generally recommended to enhance visibility and credibility for a new, important work.

10-20 reviews can help establish initial momentum for the book. This is often seen as a good starting point to build credibility among potential readers

Unlocking Promotions

Achieving 15+ reviews is required to qualify for Amazon ads and certain promotional tools. This can further boost the book’s reach and sales potential.

Visibility and Credibility

A common consensus suggests that 50+ reviews can significantly boost a book’s visibility on Amazon. Books with this number of reviews are often perceived as more credible, which can influence purchasing decisions

Long-Term Strategy

While 50 reviews can be a milestone, aiming for 100+ reviews is ideal for maximizing your book’s exposure and sales potential. This higher number can lead to better rankings in search results and increased visibility in marketing channels

Conclusion

In summary, although there is no specific number of reviews that guarantees success, aiming for 20-50 reviews is a practical starting point, and reaching 100+ reviews can greatly boost a book’s credibility and visibility.

We need your support..

Criteria

To contribute to customer reviews on Amazon, you must have spent at least $50 on Amazon.com using a valid credit or debit card in the past 12 months.

If you don’t have a Kindle and find the $16.99 price of the paperback out of reach, the publisher allows me to email a copy of the book to anyone willing to post a review. Just reach out to me at rmullenphd@gmail.com, and I will send you a copy.

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THE FALLACY OF FAIRNESS

Cognitive Distortion

The “fallacy of fairness” is the unrealistic belief that life should be equitable. This notion is something most people grapple with at some point, as we measure fairness by how well our personal preferences are met.

We know how we want to be treated, and anything that conflicts with our expectations can seem unfair and, sometimes, unbearable. Fairness, however, is a subjective assessment, shaped by our beliefs and experiences. It reflects our biased view of how others, institutions, and even nature should respond to our wants and expectations.

When reality does not align with our perceptions of fairness, we often experience self-indulgent emotions, such as anger, self-pity, and disappointment.

The idea that everything should be fair and reasonable is noble, but it isn’t practical. Humans are inherently self-oriented, and institutions pursue their own agendas. Only nature itself is impartial. It is natural and reasonable to want things to go our way. However, expecting them to go our way is unrealistic. As Grandpa says in The Princess Bride, “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?”

Our concept of fairness often depends on conditional assumptions that allow us to avoid personal accountability. For example, thinking, “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade,” overlooks the fact that effort does not always lead to comprehension. Teachers base grades on test results, and the willingness and ability to learn are subjective. It may seem unfair to the student, but that is wishful thinking.

An excellent example of the fallacy of fairness involves two friends who grew up in the same environment, attended the same college, and ended up working at the same law firm. Paul is successful and on the fast track to partnership, while Andrew is unable to climb the corporate ladder.

Resentful of Paul’s success, Andrew is convinced the firm is mistreating him. He believes he is just as deserving as his friend. Even worse, he begrudges Paul for not supporting him as he deems appropriate. However, success relies on many factors, including luck, relationships, timing, and skill. Fairness isn’t a top priority for companies.

For those experiencing social anxiety, it is common to feel that life is unfair compared to people without these struggles. The phrase, “If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety,” is a familiar complaint. It is also flawed. Despite our desire to assign responsibility, the origins of childhood disturbance are often unclear, and blaming is not conducive to personal growth and healing.

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

The Gift: 14 Lessons To Save Your Life By Edith Eger — The Gift

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

“I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion.” – Janice Parker, PhD

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it.”

July 7, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

by P. J. Gudka

**For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships**

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety by Dr. Robert F Mullen

“Today, I wanted to share my review of A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety by Dr. Robert F. Mullen. He’s someone I look up to and admire. He’s been through so much with his social anxiety disorder and still came out on top and now he’s dedicated his life to helping others do the same. If that’s not amazing, I don’t know what is. When he published this book, I knew I had to read it and since I had so many thoughts on it I decided to share my review here too.

Summary

“Social anxiety robs you of your autonomy, hopes, and dreams. The most underrated and misunderstood health issue, SAD thrives on your irrational thoughts and behaviors, upending the rules of logic. Like salmon swimming upstream, you must constantly push against the flow of your groundless fears and avoidance of social and performance situations. Recovery demands a unique and specialized approach from an expert who has personally experienced severe social anxiety and prevailed, bringing practical, firsthand knowledge of its unique obstacles.

“Visualize your emotional well-being as an overgrown garden. Your negative self-beliefs are deeplly embedded destructive weeds.

“This book provides tools to uproot your emotional entanglements and nurture new growth, but it is up to you to take them out of the shed and put them to use, cultivating new mindsets, skills, and abilities. This book is not an academic or theoretical journey through the various psychological approaches of today’s mental health industry, but a practical, straightforward, and easily digestible guide to recovery.

“Drawing on a variety of clinical and unconventional approaches, you will learn to counteract the excessive negative information in your brain’s metabolism, replace self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones, and reintegrate into society with compassion and confidence.

About the Author

“Dr. Robert F. Mullen is a behaviorist and published academic author who now offers those suffering from Social Anxiety and Depression a program to resolve this debilitating disability. Having overcome his own severe SAD, he has created an overview that ensures the reader that their disability is not uncommon, not their fault, and a remedy is available to anyone with the courage and commitment to make a change.

“For over thirty years, Robert Mullen navigated the challenges of severe social anxiety. Often referred to as the neglected anxiety disorder, SAD was a new, underrated, misunderstood, and frequently misdiagnosed condition. Bewildered, angry, and depressed, Robert was a social pariah convinced there was something wrong with him, experiencing first-hand the controlling, devious, and manipulative nature of his disorder.

“In his mid-forties, Robert Mullen returned to university, challenging SAD’s grip on his emotional well-being. It was a journey of trial and error, but the answers eventually revealed themselves. He now dedicates his career to the millions of people worldwide who struggle with anxiety and depression. His commitment to this cause is a beacon of hope for many.

My Thoughts On A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Amazon

Also, find us on BookBub / Goodreads / NetGalley

“I had quite high expectations going into this book because I’ve followed Dr. Mullen’s blog for a long time now and have always found his posts incredibly helpful. I was not disappointed, I think he outdid himself with this book.

“A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety by Dr. Robert F. Mullen is a guide for those suffering from social anxiety disorder that shares advice on how you can better handle your symptoms and live your best life despite SAD.

“Anxiety is an abstract concept; it has no power by itself.”

General Summary

“I found the book to be very well written. It was quite easy to follow along, chapter by chapter, which is something I sometimes struggle with when it comes to non-fiction books. However, this one wasn’t written in a way that would be difficult for the regular person to read. It wasn’t written for only those in the profession. Although Dr. Mullen does mention numerous scientific terms, etc., it’s still written in a way that made it easy for me to understand.

“I particularly liked that Dr. Mullen shares experiences from his own life and some experiences from patients. This made the book more relatable because I think many of us that suffer from SAD have similar experiences overall.

“Having suffered from SAD himself, Dr. Mullen is able to fully understand what it’s like having SAD and shares helpful but realistic advice. I’ve read a lot of self-help books especially when I was at my lowest. And one thing I noticed was that regardless of how much you’ve studied mental health or how many patients you’ve seen, if you’ve never experienced SAD yourself, you can never truly know what it’s like.

“One of my favourite things about the book were the journaling activities at the end of each chapter. They really helped put what we’ve learnt in each chapter into practice. I also find that writing what we’ve read helps us remember it better. I did every single journaling lesson because I was so locked in as I read the book.

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

Specific Things That Stood Out to Me

“The first thing I wanted to mention was that Dr. Mullen started out by stating that recovery is a personal choice. And I very much agree. Social anxiety isn’t something anyone wishes for; however, sitting down and doing nothing about it isn’t helping anyone. We have to make a conscious choice to make changes if we want to recover. Even if that may be uncomfortable at times. He also talks about accountability, which I think is a must.

“I admired that in chapter 4, he honestly points out that there is no permanent cure for social anxiety. But the symptoms can be managed. That’s how I look at it too. I don’t think it’ll ever fully go away. But we can do our best to live despite it by learning to manage our symptoms. A lot of self-help books try to sell a “cure” or teach us how to magically rid ourselves of all our problems. I despise those kind of books because they’re just selling you snake oil.

“I was first introduced to the term neuroplasticity thanks to Dr. Mullen’s blog many years ago. Since then, I’ve been able to put it into practice and already see my thought patterns changing. I’m able to be more social naturally without constantly being anxious. In chapter 8, he mentions how once we begin to recover we start reconnecting with happy memories and activities we enjoyed. I thought that was relatable because I’m literally doing that this year. I’m back to reading daily, doing art, singing and so much more.

“Chapter 13 is one of my favourites, it talks about the “fallacy of fairness” which was something I majorly struggled with and still sometimes struggle with. Many of us wish we lived in a perfectly fair world and it hurts to realise that we don’t. However, accepting the world (and people) as it is instead of what we want it to be can take a huge weight off our shoulders.

“I found the coping mechanisms in chapter 20 to be realistic and helpful. I even use multiple of them myself such as controlled breathing and distractions and diversions. Funny story, I’ve recently found that singing helps me relax so I randomly break out in song when I’m anxious. Sure, my neighbours and the birds outside my window hate it but it brings me a lot of joy. So, if you ever see me at a mall or something randomly singing, mind your own business. Oh and singing is mentioned in one of the chapters (chapter 25) as a great distraction.

“Finally, I loved that the book reminded us to have compassion and empathy while still have strong boundaries. It’s important not to lose our compassion/empathy. And it’s also just as important to set boundaries when needed because compassion/empathy towards ourselves is also vital.

A Personal Experience

“I wanted to share a little personal story which I think showcases the power of the advice in this book.

“One of the journaling activities in the book was to make small talk. Since I was invited to a tasting event, I thought this would be the perfect place to go out of my way to be more social and put into practice the skills I’ve learnt.

“So, instead of sitting like a wallflower as I normally do at social events, I went out of my way to connect and chat with everyone. At first, it was terrifying and I was sweating through my anti-perspirant because of how nervous I was. But the more I chatted, the less scary it got.

“And you know what? The person sitting next to me actually said I was really easy to talk to! I couldn’t believe my ears. No one has ever described me as easy to talk to, most people would probably go with awkward and makes a lot of inappropriate jokes lol. This was such a HUGE moment for me.

“I even ended up making a friend with whom I’m still chatting with and hope to hang out with soon.

“If you need proof that the advice shared in this book works, I’m here to tell you that it does.

Overall

“This is one of the best books I’ve read about social anxiety disorder and how to recover from it. Not only is it realistic and down-to-earth, it also shares very practical step by step advice that most people would be able to follow on their own. If you’re looking to read more non-fiction books, especially self-help books, I very highly recommend this one. And if you suffer from social anxiety and are looking to improve your life, this book is a must-read.

“If you are interested in reading A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety by Dr. Robert F. Mullen, you can find it on Amazon.”

P.J. Gudka is the author of Perfect and All the Words I Kept Inside (Amazon). She manages the popular website, “lifesfinewhine,” now in its second decade, which delivers news, information, and commentary on a variety of topics, including mental health (social anxiety and depression), books, travel, short stories, and poems.

The Oxymoron of Emotional Reasoning

June 23, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

The Oxymoron of Emotional Reasoning — Emotional Reasoning

UPCOMING WORKSHOPS

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 14^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 21st.

“By translating negative self-beliefs into something that can be observed, identified, and actively addressed, the book creates a practical bridge between understanding and action … The idea that recovery requires active engagement with tools, habits, and behavioral change reflects a grounded understanding of how social anxiety persists and how it can be meaningfully challenged over time.” – Kaelani Reese Whitmore

I am honored to be invited to facilitate an in-depth, engaging conversation through a live virtual Q&A reading group of from Branford, Connecticut, featuring A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety. According to the group, the book’s “thoughtful focus on personal growth, emotional well-being, and navigating the challenges of social anxiety feels like a meaningful fit for our group. In a world where many people quietly struggle with fear, self-doubt, and the impact anxiety can have on daily life and relationships, conversations around understanding and overcoming these challenges feel increasingly important.”

A lot of books in this space stay clinical or overly theoretical, but your manuscript carries something far more personal and grounded. The way you connect childhood trauma, cognitive distortions, shame, self-sabotage, neuroplasticity, and recovery into a practical, lived experience. – Lisa Brandon

Edited excerpt from A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety.

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

EMOTIONAL REASONING
Cognitive Distortion

Among the thirteen cognitive distortions most relevant to social anxiety, emotional reasoning stands out as the most significant. This troublesome thinking pattern involves making judgments and decisions based solely on emotions, disregarding evidence that contradicts those feelings.

The term “emotional reasoning” is misleading because it implies a collaboration between emotion and rational thought. Actually, it is a cognitive distortion that leads us to think with our feelings rather than consider logical explanations. Those of us experiencing social anxiety are heavily affected because SAD is emotion-based.

Consequences of Emotional Reasoning

When emotional reasoning dominates, feelings override logic. Feeling like a loser fosters the belief that we are failures. If we feel incapable, we assume we are unqualified. We view mistakes as evidence of our stupidity. These irrational beliefs seem valid because our feelings block rational thinking.

Developing thoughtful, logical countermeasures, such as Socratic questioning and rational coping statements, equips us to make sound decisions. This balance is crucial for gaining control over our tendency to react emotionally to people and situations arbitrarily.

Emotional reasoning often leads to self-fulfilling prophecies. For instance, a student with excellent grades might still “feel” stupid and convince themselves they are unworthy of higher goals. Someone who perceives themselves as unattractive may never feel confident, no matter how they appear to others.

Finding Balance

Trusting our feelings and instincts is healthy when supported by positive experience and evidence. However, SAD drives irrational thoughts and feelings, often resulting in poor decision-making. Achieving a balanced perspective is crucial, requiring the harmonious integration of emotion and logic.

Mechanisms for Recovery

Understanding and addressing emotional reasoning is vital for personal growth. By analyzing our emotions objectively and rationally, we can prevent our feelings alone from dictating our actions.

Balancing emotion with rational thought enhances our ability to manage our response to loss and disappointment. It fosters optimal self-awareness and a balanced mindset.

“The fact that this isn’t written from a purely academic perspective, but from someone who personally experienced severe social anxiety and fought through it, combined with your practical “overgrown garden” approach to uprooting negative self-beliefs and building healthier patterns, is exactly the kind of guidance that deserves a real audience.” – Aurora Willow

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

“What I found especially compelling is that your approach appears to come not only from professional understanding, but from lived experience. The fact that you have personally faced severe social anxiety and built a recovery framework from that experience gives the book a level of authenticity that readers are likely to find both reassuring and credible.” – James Blackstone

I am simply in awe at the writing, your insights, your deep knowing of transcendence, your intuitive understanding of psychic-physical pain, your connection of the pain to healing, your concept/title, and above all, your innate compassion. – Janice Parker, PhD

Always Being Right: a Self-Sabotaging Cognitive Distortion

June 16, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

Always Being Right: a Self-Sabotaging Cognitive Distortion — Breaking Free from Cognitive Distortions

Edited excerpt from “A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety.”

(Kindle: $9.99; softcover $16.99; hardcover $26.99.)

Purchase here.

“ALWAYS BEING RIGHT
Cognitive Distortion

“Cognitive distortions are exaggerated and irrational thought and behavior patterns that contribute to our anxiety and depression. They distort our perception of reality and justify toxic thoughts and actions.

“Identifying cognitive distortions can be difficult because they often lack clear definitions and tend to occur together, increasing their overall complexity. For example, “filtering” involves concentrating only on the negative aspects of situations, “polarized thinking” views everything in black-and-white terms, and “catastrophizing” assumes the worst possible outcome. Although their similarities seem clear, there are notable differences.

Recognizing our tendency to exploit these patterns and understanding their harmful effects on our emotional health is a crucial step in our recovery process.

The Burden of Always Being Right

“For many of us, our fear of criticism often leads to a ‘know-it-all’ attitude, in which we dismiss opposing viewpoints arbitrarily to protect our fragile ego. As we rebuild and reclaim our self-esteem, this urge significantly diminishes.

Always being right is an emotionally immature and irrational form of self-sabotage.

“Even when faced with evidence that contradicts us, we go to great lengths to defend our stance, often belittling those who disagree and refusing to acknowledge our own fallibility. In these moments, the need to be right takes priority over considering others’ beliefs, opinions, and feelings.

The Impact on My Career

“My need to always be right, regardless of the cost, hurt my early acting career. Instead of accepting opportunities with humility and gratitude, I let self-centered thinking convince me that I knew more about the industry than anyone else.

“Whether this irrational thinking pattern stemmed from fears of failure, success, or being exposed as a fraud remains uncertain; social anxiety can be frustratingly mysterious.

“One illustrative example is when Sal Mineo offered me the role of “Queenie” in Fortune and Men’s Eyes. I declined the offer, convinced that the part was not suitable for the leading man I aspired to become. Michael Greer was cast in the role and went on to achieve success in film and television.

“Similarly, during my work in a staged version of Mr. Roberts, I believed I understood my character, Manion, better than the director did. Our disagreements over my interpretation caused inevitable conflict. Jimmy Burrows would later become famous as the director of, among other shows, Taxi, Cheers, Frasier, and Friends. Unsurprisingly, I was never invited to audition for a Burrows-directed show.

“In another instance, I rewrote my small part in Report to the Commissioner, confident that my version was better than the original script. They cut my role, and I was never cast in another Frankovich production.

“These experiences demonstrate how my arrogance and reluctance to accept guidance or compromise caused major problems. Opportunities fell by the wayside because I couldn’t break free from this self-destructive thought pattern.

“Whatever the cause of my need to assert my claimed expertise, I constantly convinced myself I was right and that the experienced professionals around me were wrong. This strong belief in my own perceived insight became a major obstacle, disrupting a once-promising acting career.

“Cognitive distortions can influence not only our decisions but also the overall direction of our personal and professional lives. The impact of refusing to challenge maladaptive thoughts and behaviors is significant, derailing opportunities and hindering growth.

Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops By Dr. Robert F. Mullen

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It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

Questioning Our Belief Patterns

“The need to always be right exposes our fragile self-esteem. Our irrational belief system influences how we see ourselves. When we refuse to question our beliefs, we act as if we are perfect, ignoring evidence that contradicts us. Our insecurity can be so deep that it distorts our perceptions, overriding facts and others’ feelings.

Cognitive Bias

“Adding insult to injury, social anxiety causes us to store information aligned with our negative core and intermediate beliefs, leading to cognitive biases. A cognitive bias is a subconscious error in thinking that causes us to misinterpret information, affecting the accuracy of our perspectives and decision-making.

“Those of us caught up in the pattern of always needing to be right tend to ignore what others say, avoiding anything that might reveal our ignorance and lead us to accept our imperfections. Even when we know we are wrong, we find it almost impossible to admit it.

“When our opinions conflict with those of authority figures, we grudgingly accept their views, secretly convinced of our own superiority. This submissiveness strips us of our strength, fueling anger and resentment. We bow to their authority but envy their power, remaining irritated and bitter.

“Our desire to be perceived as clever and knowledgeable shields our fragile self-image. Many of us try to hide our fears of criticism and rejection by highlighting our intellectual abilities, which are usually misplaced.

“This compulsion does not bode well for healthy relationships. Our unwillingness to consider others’ feelings and opinions is dismissive and demeaning. Friendships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, not on one person’s need to be right. Few want to deal with someone unwilling or unable to value their opinions, insights, or belief system.

“The tendency on social media to attack someone’s conflicting beliefs and the pundits who deny, obfuscate, and shout down the opposition are clear examples of the always-being-right syndrome.

Solutions

“As with most cognitive distortions, the key objective is to think before reacting by asking ourselves some pertinent questions. Have we considered the opposition’s opinions objectively? Maybe their argument has merit. Could we be wrong? (The probability is high if we get our facts from the Internet.)

“Being receptive to different perspectives can expand our understanding and result in more balanced decisions.

“Even if we are correct, is it necessary to belittle someone else’s position? What do we really gain by winning an argument other than personal satisfaction? Is our need to be right more important than someone’s feelings? Before making arbitrary decisions and sharing our thoughts, we should critically examine our motivations.”

Recommended Books from Clients and Subscribers (add yours)

Psychobiographical Illustrations on Meaning and Identity in Sociocultural Contexts — Psychobiography

More Feedback on “A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety.”

“I came across A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety recently, and something about it genuinely stopped me.

“The fact that this isn’t written from a purely academic perspective, but from someone who personally experienced severe social anxiety and fought through it, combined with your practical “overgrown garden” approach to uprooting negative self-beliefs and building healthier patterns, is exactly the kind of guidance that deserves a real audience, not just a listing buried three pages deep in search results.” – AURORA WILLOW

Reviews are Coming in. We Welcome Yours

June 9, 2026Behavior, Mental Health, Neuroplasticity, Social AnxietyAnxiety, Depression, Mental Health, Positive Psychology, Recovery, Self-esteem, Self-Improvement, Social anxiety disorderRobert F. Mullen, Ph.D.

For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery
from Social Anxiety.

Available at all Booksellers
Review at Amazon, NetGalley, BookBub, etc..
Kindle: $9.99 • Paperback: $16.99 • Hardcover: $26.99

Thanks to each of you.

I am truly grateful for the early feedback from colleagues and professionals on my book. It reassures me that my efforts are not in vain. Thanks to the many friends, subscribers, students, and members of psychological societies who support my ongoing and personal understanding of recovery from social and performance anxiety. SAD cannot be treated like any other disorder. Its high comorbidity rate makes the process even more complex and individualized.

If you have a chance to read the book and believe it has merit, please provide an Amazon review. This improves Amazon’s algorithms, sells more books, and builds our workshop scholarship funds

(Links in reviews added for sources and comprehension.)

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety.

“What a revelation! A lot of books on anxiety and depression stay clinical or overly theoretical, but this guide carries something far more personal and grounded. The way it connects cognitive distortions, shame, and self-sabotage with childhood disturbance into practical recovery is remarkable. Highly recommended for anyone not living up to their full potential.”
– MATTY SAVEN

“I found myself discussing your manuscript with a few people I regularly interact with in the media and PR space, people who actively follow emerging authors, thought-driven nonfiction, and books that carry genuine emotional and intellectual substance. What stood out in that conversation was how differently your book approaches social anxiety.

“A lot of books in this space stay clinical or overly theoretical, but your manuscript carries something far more personal and grounded. The way you combine childhood trauma, cognitive distortions, shame, adverse self-appraisal, neuroplasticity, and recovery into a practical, lived experience framework sparked a much deeper discussion than I initially expected.

“In particular, the conversations around “deliberate dissociation,” the
idea that people are not their condition, and your perspective on how
irrational thought patterns quietly shape identity and opportunity
really resonated. Even your reflections on self-sabotage in Hollywood and the way you tied cognitive distortions to real-life consequences gave the material a level of honesty that people immediately responded to. It felt less like a traditional self-help manuscript and more like a conversation with someone who has genuinely lived through what they’re teaching.” – LISA BRANDON

“This book offers a practical, no-jargon guide to overcoming social anxiety by combining firsthand survivor experience with actionable tools to replace self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors with healthier, more confident habits.

Core Philosophy

“The author, Dr. Robert F. Mullen, draws on his own severe social anxiety experience to present a common-sense, survivor-led approach. He likens emotional well-being to an overgrown garden, where negative self-beliefs are “destructive weeds” that must be uprooted to allow new growth.

“Practical, not academic: The book avoids theoretical, psychology jargon, focusing instead on straightforward, easily digestible steps you can apply immediately.

“Counteract negative thinking: Learn to identify and replace self-sabotaging thoughts with productive, compassionate ones.

“Gradual exposure: Uses the “salmon swimming upstream” metaphor to encourage small, consistent steps towards facing social and performance situations.

“Skill building: Develops mindsets, skills, and abilities to reintegrate into society with confidence and compassion.

Structure and Content

“Accessible format: Written for readers who want clear, actionable advice rather than complex, clinical theory.

“Mixed approaches: Combines clinical and unconventional methods to address the “excessive negative information” in the brain’s “metabolism.”

“Self-directed recovery: Emphasizes that while the book provides tools, the reader must actively apply them to achieve lasting change.

“Unlike many anxiety recovery books that focus on academic models, A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach… is rooted in lived experience, making it relatable and motivating for those who have struggled with social anxiety. It’s designed for immediate application and offers a roadmap from avoidance to active, confident engagement in social life.

“If you’re seeking a practical, survivor-friendly guide that blends personal insight with concrete strategies, this book is positioned as a direct, no-fluff resource for recovery.” – COPILOT

Rechanneling.org Social Anxiety Workshops with Dr. Robert F. Mullen

Space is Limited
For Information

It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will
continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.

“I wanted to reach out after reading about A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety. What immediately stood out to me is the framing of social anxiety not only as an emotional condition, but as a deeply ingrained pattern of cognition and behavior that reshapes how individuals experience autonomy, self-perception, and participation in everyday life.

“The use of accessible metaphors such as emotional well-being as an overgrown garden gives the subject a tangible structure that makes an otherwise internal and complex experience easier to conceptualize. By translating negative self-beliefs into something that can be observed, identified, and actively addressed, the book creates a practical bridge between understanding and action. That shift from abstract theory to lived intervention is particularly significant in the self-help and clinical recovery space.

“I was especially drawn to the emphasis on experiential recovery, where insight alone is not positioned as sufficient without consistent application. The idea that recovery requires active engagement with tools, habits, and behavioral change reflects a grounded understanding of how social anxiety persists and how it can be meaningfully challenged over time.” – KAELANI R. WHITMORE

Proactive Neuroplasticity YouTube Series

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

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Events

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Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms, Part 2

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DISSOCIATION

PROJECTION

Anxiety Projection

RATIONALIZATION

Deflecting Responsibility

Rationalization versus Lying

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

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REPRESSION, SUPPRESSION, REGRESSION

Repression

Suppression

Regression

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Book Review

OVERCOMING SOCIAL ANXIETY STEP BY STEP

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

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Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

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Events

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Social Anxiety’s Defense Mechanisms

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AVOIDANCE

COMPENSATION

Social Anxiety and Perfectionism

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DENIAL

DISPLACEMENT

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

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Book Review

DARKBIRCH ACADEMY 3: FIRE AND SHADOWS

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Other Recommended Books from Clients and Colleagues

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Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

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Upcoming Events

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Fallacy of Fairnessand Heaven’s Reward

The Fallacy of Fairness

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Heaven’s Reward Fallacy

Unhealthy Motivations and Their Consequences

Reasonable Expectations

Fallacies in Relationships and the Workplace

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A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety

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Film Review

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE

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Other Recommended Books/Films from Clients and Colleagues

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Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety and Related Conditions

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Upcoming Events

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Understanding Our Inherent Resistance to Recovery

Physiological Resistance

Psychological Resistance

Established Failures

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Fallacy of Fairness
and Heaven’s Reward

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Recovery from Social and Performance Anxiety
and Related Conditions

Understanding Our Inherent
Resistance to Recovery

A Survivor’s Common Sense Approach
to Recovery from Social Anxiety

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd

Weds. Evenings: Sept. 16^th – Nov. 19^th.
Saturday mornings: Sept. 19^th – Nov. 22nd