Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Conditions

Robert F Mullen, PhD

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The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.

Overgeneralization, Jumping to Conclusions & Catastrophizing

This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.

Three closely aligned cognitive distortions are all derived from our compulsion to dramatize our conclusions about situations. Overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions and catastrophizing are the engine, car, and caboose of our exaggerated reactions to common situations.

Let’s take an example from our social anxiety. We overgeneralize that a failed relationship means every other effort will generate the same negative response. We then promptly conclude that we will never experience a healthy relationship. The catastrophic belief is that we will become isolated and friendless, with multiple cats to keep us company.

These three closely related cognitive distortions are broad, unsubstantiated, and ostensibly inaccurate subjective projections. Here’s how we tell them apart.

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Overgeneralization

We overgeneralize when we draw conclusions that exceed what could be logically explained, usually applying statistics from a small sample size to a larger population.

The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.

Overgeneralizing happens when we make exaggerated claims about something or someone without evidence. We make false conclusions based on limited or inaccurate information. Convinced that a negative experience or behavior applies to similar situations, whether or not the circumstances are comparable. 

We assume an isolated behavior represents an entire group, which leads to stereotyping. We view a one-time incident as a never-ending pattern of regularity, disputing the potential for behavioral change. Moreover, we disregard evidence that disputes our findings. 

Like filtering, where we ignore the positive and dwell on the negative, overgeneralization supports our SAD-induced tendency to assume the worst of an incident or behavior, usually due to prior experience. So ‘once’ becomes ‘many,’ ‘sometimes becomes always,’ and ‘possibly’ becomes ‘probably.’

For example, because the sushi made us ill, all East Asian restaurants are unhealthy.

These irrational conclusions prevent us from placing ourselves in similar situations where we assume a bad experience will repeat itself. Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are usually overgeneralizations.

If we feel rejected at a social gathering, we may conclude, “I am undesirable. No one will ever like me,” which supports the likelihood that we will suspect and avoid future social situations

We overgeneralize when we claim that all politicians are corrupt or all priests are pedophiles based on small representations.  Outlaw gangs often ride motorcycles. Therefore, the couple on the Harley-Davidson must be members of an outlaw gang. These are all instances of overgeneralization that we encounter in our daily lives.

Overgeneralization can make it difficult to establish and maintain relationships. Our condition makes establishing and maintaining relationships difficult, and they often fail, making us consider all potential relationships too risky. A mistake at work might repeat itself and lead to overgeneralizing our ineffectiveness, hindering our professional growth. This cycle of negative self-appraisal further damages our already fragile self-esteem.

Jumping to Conclusions

Jumping to conclusions involves making broad and inaccurate conjectures that unsubstantiated by evidence.

The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he enjoys heavy metal.

When we overgeneralize, we infer that a single behavior or incident indicates a pattern. Jumping to conclusions occurs when we make a broad assumption based on a particular behavior or incident despite having evidence to the contrary. Most of the symptoms of our condition are examples of jumping to conclusions.

Our negative core beliefs and self-appraisal compel us to jump to conclusions. We assume that we will embarrass or humiliate ourselves during a situation because we feel stupid. We jump to the conclusion that no one will talk to us because the shame of our condition makes us want to hide. And we avoid companionship and intimacy because we jump to the conclusion that we are undesirable.

Jumping to conclusions implies we are telepathic and clairvoyant. Our projection of adverse outcomes makes us fortune tellers and mind readers. Fortune telling is a type of cognitive distortion where we predict adverse outcomes. We symptomatically focus on the worst-case scenario and the probability of disaster. We become faux mind-readers when we conclude we are subject to criticism and ridicule.

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Catastrophizing

When we catastrophize, we assume the worst by imagining a situation potentially more disastrous than logic dictates.

The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.

Chicken Little was plucking worms in the henyard when an acorn dropped from a tree onto her head. She immediately assumed the worst. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling,” she clucked hysterically. 

Catastrophizing compels us to conclude that the worst-case scenario has or will occur when specific things happen rather than considering plausible explanations. It is the irrational assumption that something is or will be far worse than reasonably probable. We prophesize the worst and twist reality to support our projection.

For instance, if our significant other has a bad week, we might conclude that the relationship is in jeopardy (external control), leading to behaviors that could instigate such an outcome. We catastrophize by convincing ourselves that divorce is imminent and we will never find love again.

If we receive a disappointing grade on a test, we may conclude that we will fail the course. Or catastrophize that we will never graduate. If our manager isn’t happy with how we performed a task, we might jump to the conclusion that we will not be promoted or convince ourselves that we will lose our jobs and will never work again.

If we experience migraines or abdominal pain, we might decide to rest up or see a physician if the pain continues. Convincing ourselves that we have a brain tumor or a ruptured appendix is catastrophizing.

Catastrophizing is not just a cognitive distortion; it’s paralyzing. It limits our interactivity and social engagement because we are on the cusp of disaster. Catastrophizing prevents us from trying new things and experiencing life to the fullest. It shuts out possibilities. It limits our ability to establish, develop, and maintain healthy relationships. Understanding the paralyzing effect of catastrophizing is the first step towards overcoming it and living a more fulfilling life.

One of the four central core beliefs associated with social anxiety and depression is our sense of helplessness. This perceived impotence, if left unchecked, can become a learned behavior developed through repetition and experience.

We express learned helplessness when we convince ourselves that if we lack control over some experience in the past, we will never have control over it. It’s crucial to recognize and address the self-destructive nature of our perceived impotence to regain control over our assumptions and conclusions.

To Encapsulate

• Overgeneralization: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.
• Jumping to Conclusions: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he listens to heavy metal.
• Catastrophizing: The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.

Solutions

The obvious suggestion is to stop blowing things out of proportion. That’s easier said than done, and given our condition, it’s prudent to repeatedly instruct our neural network to focus on common-sense thinking.

Recognizing the irrationality of these assumptions is the first step to challenging and changing them. When we overgeneralize, jump to conclusions, and catastrophize, we prophesize potential adverse outcomes and shape our behaviors to ensure they happen.

By devising rational explanations, we can break this cycle

Our desire for stability causes us to seek certainty and predictability. Our anxiety flourishes in fearful or unfamiliar situations. This is because our ‘fight-or-flight response,’ a natural reaction to stress, compels us to make rash and careless assumptions without considering other possibilities and perspectives.

It is essential to remain vigilant that cognitive distortions may support our twisted interpretations, such as believing ‘I’m a failure’ after a minor setback, and validate our irrational thoughts and behaviors, like avoiding social situations due to fear of judgment. Still, their inaccuracies perpetuate our anxiety and depression. By considering other possibilities and perspectives, such as ‘I may have made a mistake, but it doesn’t define me’ or ‘Others may not be judging me as harshly as I think’, we can challenge these distortions.

There are simple and obvious steps we can take to eliminate these distortions.

Justify our conclusions with evidence. What research and data support them? Do we truly know anything about the subject? What fears, experiences, and prejudices initiated these conclusions? Perhaps our obsession with rejection rejecting us compels us to attack first as a form of self-defense. This critical thinking is crucial in combating these emotional distortions.

Place ourselves in the shoes of those we subject to inaccurate and derogatory accusations. How do we feel when the tables are turned, as they invariably are when we succumb to our SAD-induced fears of criticism and ridicule?

Assess the situation and consider plausible explanations and other perspectives. Respond rationally rather than emotionally. We have the power to stop these negative thought patterns. We identify them, write them down, analyze their irrationality, and produce common-sense solutions.

Practice basic self-care. These irrational conclusions are more likely to materialize during periods of fatigue or stress. Basic self-care practices, such as getting enough sleep and eating properly, exercising regularly, connecting with nature, and taking time to reflect with gratitude on the positive aspects of our lives, can help us feel more emotionally balanced.

By prioritizing self-care, we show ourselves the care and attention we deserve, which can help manage unproductive thoughts.

Stop overthinking. When we overthink, we obsess, engaging in repetitive and unproductive thoughts. We make mountains out of molehills. Overthinking is a hindrance to personal development because it entails ruminating about our past habits and failures, whereas recovery is a here-and-now solution that will positively impact the future.

Thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts or reality unless we make them so.

Compassion can help us see situations through the other’s perspective, reducing our tendency to distort the accuracy of the situation. Critical thinking will challenge our assumptions to avoid distorting our conclusions.

As we progress, we become acutely aware (identify, comprehend, and accept) our perverse idiosyncrasies. We recognize them in our behaviors and notice them in others. We identify them when we make unthinking and unfounded statements and observations.

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INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program.  Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.

Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do.
It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value,
consequential, and deserving of happiness.