The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This prevalence underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
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Before getting to the main topic of this post, I would like to address a question I frequently receive from our readers. Why, in the subheading, do we emphasize social anxiety’s related conditions?
There is a high degree of comorbidity between social anxiety and other mental health problems, most notably depression and substance abuse. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America and other experts include many emotional and mental disorders related to, components of, or consequences of social anxiety disorder, including avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, eating disorders, OCD, and schizophrenia. I have seen statistics showing that 25% to 70% of people experiencing social anxiety also have depression and substance abuse problems.
A comprehensive treatment program must not only address the symptoms of social anxiety but also any related conditions that impact an individual’s recovery.
Dealing with Loss in Recovery
The three primary objectives in recovery from social anxiety are to:
Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through redeployment of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Each objective in recovery is achieved by replacement. To replace is to put something or someone in the place of another. Consequently, we experience the loss of that which has been replaced.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience. Each time we register new information—meaning our brain notices or detects it—our neural network realigns and restructures. This ongoing process leads to significant changes in our behavior and perspective.
Through neuroplasticity, we change the form and configuration of our neural network. Our brains are not fixed entities; they constantly adapt and evolve in response to new information. They gain and lose synapses, promote neurogenesis, and rewire circuits.
We experience a renewed sense of self as well as a feeling of emptiness and longing for what we have replaced or unlearned.
We usually think of loss in the broader sense—that of a job, home, or a loved one. In recovery from social anxiety, the primary loss is of irrational thoughts and behaviors. The empowerment we gain from our new mindsets compensates for this loss. Still, we experience a sense of missing elements of our personalities to which we have been attached, sometimes for decades.
The loss can be a disturbing experience – one whose subtlety does not usually reach the severity of trauma but is subconsciously present just the same. Trauma may occur if the replacement of certain habits, such as substance abuse, causes an intense emotional and physiological reaction. The loss of adverse habits alone can generate a vacuum that can moderately impact the emotional well-being of someone who is depressive or anxious.
Awareness of this factor is essential to recovery.
Replacement Creates Loss
Through treatment for social anxiety and related conditions, we mitigate our destructive thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with healthier alternatives. Notwithstanding, we still experience the residual effects of those thoughts and behaviors that permeated our neural network for years.
There is a weaning process that occurs when we modify or replace ingrained habits.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Hardwired Resistance to Change
We are genetically hardwired to resist change and physiologically structured to attack anything that disrupts our status quo. Our bodies and minds naturally resist change, as it disrupts our sense of balance and stability.
Experiencing loss can alter our heart rate, metabolism, and respiration. Physiological inertia senses and resists these changes, while our basal ganglia, involved in processes such as emotions, motivations, and habits, oppose any modification of our patterns of thought and behavior.
Neurological Impact
Our neural network, the complex web of interconnected neurons in our brain, doesn’t distinguish between healthy and toxic information. It responds identically to all registered stimuli. It activates the same long-term potentiation. A process that strengthens the connection between neurons and provides the same BDNF proteins associated with improved cognitive functioning.
It also releases the same chemical hormones that support us physiologically and psychologically. This activity means that the loss we experience can have a subtle negative impact on our brain, leading to confusion, depression, guilt, and withdrawal. Understanding this neurological impact can help us navigate the recovery process more effectively.
It is human nature to experience and regret the loss of things that have been part and parcel of our being. It is prudent to be mindful of this loss because it can affect our minds, bodies, emotions, and dispositions. In early recovery, this can be problematic if not understood and anticipated. There is continuing potential for recidivism.
However, with the awareness of the inevitability of loss, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, we can help circumvent recidivism and feel more in control of our recovery journey. This understanding is essential to the recovery process, as it allows us to acknowledge and manage those feelings of loss that will inevitably arise.
Awareness and preparedness can effectively moderate adverse reactions.
As the godfather of positive psychology, Abraham Maslow, assures us, “…the loss of illusions and the discovery of identity, though painful at first, can be ultimately exhilarating and strengthening.”
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
In a recent post, we discussed the benefits of taking a break in our recovery. “Allowing yourself this time off enables your neural network to process and integrate the work you’ve done. Let your brain do the heavy lifting while you enjoy your break.” So, whether you are deep into recovery, just beginning, or even considering it, you are feeding your neural network positive information.
This is especially important during the holiday season. Our holiday schedules are filled with family reunions, gift shopping, and other activities that take precedence over recovery. That doesn’t mean we’re neglecting our new learning. It just means we’re taking a necessary break from it. The learning doesn’t stop. Our neural network continues to process information, and our recovery goes on.
Recovery from social anxiety takes hard work and dedication. It is not a quick fix. It’s a gradual process that begins immediately and grows incrementally and exponentially.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Resolutions
In a couple of recovery groups, we briefly discussed traditional New Year’s resolutions. Most of us don’t take them seriously because it’s common knowledge that people rarely adhere to them. They’re short-term commitments that are forgotten by the second week of January.
Recovery is already filled with long-term resolutions and processes necessary for mitigating our symptoms and improving our emotional well-being and quality of life.
So, to start this new year, rather than trying to come up with easily neglected, pointless resolutions, let’s take credit for some of the long-term learning tools we already use in our recovery.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Recovery Resolutions
Avoid Perfectionism. We are imperfect in our humanness. The unreasonable pursuit of perfectionism to compensate for our adverse self-image aggravates our anxiety and depression. Chasing the unattainable distracts us from issues and concerns that require your immediate attention.
Choose Supportive Relationships. Spend Time with people who make you happy. Don’t waste time on people who don’t treat you well. Spending time with people who treat you poorly is foolish and irrational. While we can’t always choose our family or certain colleagues, we can choose our friends and romantic partners.
Cultivate Gratitude. Take time to acknowledge and appreciate the good people, things, and experiences in your lives. Expressing gratitude enhances your mental, emotional, and physical well-being, strengthening social connections and relationships.
Do Things You Enjoy. Start by making a list of things you like to do—things that make you happy. Try to do something from that list every day. Be mindful that you are valuable, consequential, and deserve to be happy.
Embrace Joy and Laughter. The endorphins and hormones released during joyful moments significantly enhance your psychological health. Laughter and joy invigorate your cardiovascular and muscular systems, elevate your energy, and bolster your immune defenses.
Smiling and laughing stimulate neurotransmitters that reduce fear and anxiety while promoting learning, concentration, and motivation. (Social anxiety does not thrive in a joyful environment.)
Embrace Your Humanness. To foster genuine self-esteem and support your recovery, it helps to accept your totality—the good, the bad, and the ugly. You are unique individuals, defined by a dynamic interplay of strengths, weaknesses, and idiosyncrasies. Understanding yourself is a key element of recovery.
Establish and Maintain Boundaries. Boundaries define which behaviors you find acceptable. They safeguard your space, feelings, limitations, and expectations. They enable you to assert your identity and shield you from manipulation and exploitation. Setting boundaries equips you to manage others’ influence on your life.
Evaluate Upsetting Thoughts. Treat negative, intrusive thoughts as signals to try new, healthy patterns. Ask yourself, “What can I think and do to make this feeling or perspective less stressful?”
Focus on the Positive. Think about the parts of your life that work well. Remember the skills you’ve used to cope with challenges. Recognize and utilize your character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Forgive. Holding onto hostility and resentment is self-indulgent and emotionally enervating. Forgiving frees up valuable space in your neural network. It opens you to new possibilities, allowing you to move forward unencumbered by the past.
Forgive Yourself. Everyone makes mistakes. But mistakes aren’t permanent reflections of you as a person. They’re moments in time. Mistakes are evidence of our humanness.
Make Healthy Choices. It is crucial to follow guidelines for good health. This includes engaging in at least 30 minutes of exercise daily, maintaining a healthy, moderate diet, and ensuring restful, undistracted sleep.
Positive Personal Affirmations. A primary asset for neural restructuring, positive personal affirmations are also practical tools for managing triggers, associated fears, corresponding ANTs, and other stressful situations.
Practice Self-Compassion. You deserve to be happy. This means prioritizing self-care, engaging in activities that bring satisfaction and joy, and surrounding yourself with people who recognize your worth and uplift you.
Reframe Your Perspective. You control your emotional well-being. No one has that power. Your tendency to view the glass as half empty perpetuates anxiety and depression. Instead, create optimistic outcome scenarios and reframe potential problems as opportunities for growth and learning.
Change your perspective on social anxiety. Rather than viewing it as a monster, we should reframe it as a unique yet remediable experience that has made us stronger and more resilient in the face of adversity.
Reward Yourself. Self-reward is tangible appreciation of our effort and progress. When you reward yourself, your brain releases a chemical rush of dopamine that makes you feel good. This feeling strengthens the connection between your constructive behavior and the positive outcome, making you more likely to repeat the action in the future. Reward also releases endorphins for mood elevation, GABA and serotonin for relaxation, and oxytocin and endorphins that generate feelings of satisfaction and pleasure.
Set Realistic Expectations. Success comes from setting practical, attainable goals that help build your confidence in overcoming challenges. When you set reasonable expectations, you help ensure a positive outcome.
Silence Your Inner Critic. By refusing to listen to your SAD-induced inner critic, you break the cycle of self-sabotage. Learn to say “no” to your symptoms and negative self-appraisals. Distancing yourself from self-critical thoughts rebuilds your self-confidence and fosters a more favorable outlook on life.
Use Hopeful Statements. Social anxiety compels you to project unsatisfactory outcomes. Challenge that thinking by focusing on the positive. Remember, it is unhealthy and irrational to choose outcomes that are harmful and unproductive. Filter out negative projections.
Do not define yourself by your social anxiety. Define yourself by your character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
All of us who keep ReChanneling running smoothly would like to wish our subscribers, clients, colleagues, and friends a healthy and productive 2026.
Some updates for the new year.
We are still in the process of finalizing, with the publisher, the editing of our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety. Accounting for the average schedule to edit and get to print, we hope to make this book available sometime in the early spring.
Upcoming Workshops, Updates, and Scholarships
Group and Workshop Opportunities
Once the book is published, we will once again offer groups and recovery workshops specifically designed for individuals dealing with social anxiety and its comorbidities. Our commitment includes continuing online support groups and workshops. We are also considering reinstating site workshops to be held in the San Francisco Bay Area.
If your group or organization is interested in sponsoring a seminar or workshop outside the Bay Area, we are eager to collaborate and bring our programs to your location.
Weekly Updates ad Posts
We also plan to resume our regular schedule of weekly updates and posts, keeping everyone informed and engaged with the latest news and resources.
Scholarship Fund Growth
Finally, we are pleased to announce that our scholarship funds have now grown to $4,575.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The Importance of Journaling in the Recovery Process
The following information is well covered in our upcoming book.
Keeping a written or electronic journal plays a crucial role in the recovery journey. Journaling is much more than simply jotting down random thoughts or notes—it is a thoughtful and intentional practice that encourages both personal growth and self-reflection. Journaling helps us broaden our self-awareness through regular reflection and honest expression.
By recording our experiences and examining how our condition affects us personally, we can shape our own story and actively participate in our healing process.
How Journaling Impacts the Brain
Scientific studies have shown that journaling activates several vital areas of the brain. One of these is the prefrontal cortex, which governs rational thinking and decision-making. Journaling also influences the limbic system, a central region that helps manage our emotions.
Journaling contributes to the rewiring of our neural pathways—a process known as neuroplasticity. This change is fundamental to recovery because it helps establish healthier patterns of thought and behavior.
Writing provides a safe and dependable outlet for complete self-expression. It allows us to communicate our thoughts and feelings without fear of interruption or criticism, creating a private space to explore and understand ourselves more deeply.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Other Benefits of Journaling
Physical Benefits
Journaling offers a range of physical health benefits. For instance, writing before bedtime can help us fall asleep more quickly. By focusing on worries or creating a to-do list, we may improve the overall quality of our sleep experience.
Studies have also found that writing and gratitude journaling can strengthen our body’s immune function.
Additionally, research links journaling to improved overall physical and mental wellness, with enhanced physical functioning observed among medical populations.
Mental Benefits
Journaling can be a powerful tool for managing mental health. Expressive writing, for example, is shown to effectively reduce symptoms of depression.
Journaling can also alleviate symptoms of anxiety, especially through “positive affect journaling,” which focuses on positive emotions.
Certain journaling practices have been shown to help reduce stress. One study found that burnout and compassion fatigue rates decreased significantly among nurses who participated in a series of journaling classes.
Narrative writing, which involves writing about traumatic events, has been shown to reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Journaling can also help us develop self-distance—the ability to reflect on past events and emotions as an objective observer. This skill reduces emotional reactivity and physical distress.
The act of writing about experiences and reflecting on them has proven helpful in mental health settings, facilitating recovery and improving self-awareness.
Journaling can boost emotional intelligence by increasing our awareness of personal emotions and feelings, whether we are in therapy or journaling independently.
A specific method called “reflective practice journaling” (RPJ) has been linked to improved self-confidence, self-knowledge, and coping skills, especially among nursing students.
Classroom journaling and expressive writing have also contributed to greater self-efficacy and a stronger sense of self-control, fostering personal growth.
Academic Benefits
Journaling can enhance academic performance in several ways. Reflective journaling has been shown to improve critical thinking skills in both nursing faculty and students.
Journaling as a meditative activity can inspire creativity, boost personal growth, and increase emotional awareness.
When journaling includes writing down goals, it may help increase our chances of achieving them, as found in multiple studies.
If our journaling practice combines drawing with writing, we may experience better recall of events compared to writing alone, according to a 2022 report.
Finally, a 2022 study found that regular journaling helps improve study habits, prioritize tasks, and boost overall productivity, thereby strengthening academic performance.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Growth, Learning, and Patience on the Path to Overcoming Social Anxiety
Robert F. Mullen, PhD Director/ReChanneling
For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.
AI Generated: Understanding Setbacks in Recovery
Our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, is with the publisher. Publication is anticipated for February 2026.
Recovery from social anxiety and its comorbidities is often an exacting process. The challenges arise from our natural resistance to change and the complexity involved in learning new patterns of thought and behavior.
Successful recovery requires heightened awareness—recognizing, comprehending, and accepting not only new terms and concepts, but also our personal transformation.
Taking Breaks: Not a Setback, But a Step Forward
It’s essential to understand that stepping back from this intensive learning process does not mean we’re failing to grasp its complexities. On the contrary, taking breaks is a crucial aspect of the journey. These periods of rest allow us to return to our recovery with renewed clarity and deeper understanding.
Embracing Setbacks
Setbacks are inevitable; we should expect and welcome them. They are not signs of defeat, but rather an integral part of the learning process. There is no need to feel overwhelmed or to doubt our ability to learn. Instead, recognize that setbacks are simply waypoints along the journey, not the final destination.
The Continual Nature of Learning
Learning and growth persist even during interruptions or detours. Our neural networks are constantly operating, whether we are awake, asleep, or engaged in other activities. The process of change does not halt when we pause our conscious efforts; our brains continue working in the background, doing what they do best: processing, organizing, and retaining information.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Retention of Progress
Although stress or cognitive neglect may temporarily disrupt our neural circuits, the knowledge and progress we have gained remain accessible—except in extreme cases of advanced neural atrophy. While we may sometimes compartmentalize or misplace information, we cannot truly lose it. The evolution of our neural network is a forward-moving process.
Once we begin the journey of recovery, the skills and insights we acquire are ours to keep. Recovery is not just about fixing what was wrong, but about ongoing growth and learning. The progress we make cannot be unlearned.
Patience and Perseverance
It is perfectly acceptable to take time away from active recovery practices. Setbacks, obstacles, and unexpected detours are a natural part of the recovery path, and we can still reach our goals despite these meanderings.
Recovery is not a quick fix; it is a gradual process that begins immediately and grows both incrementally and exponentially. There is no instant cure for social anxiety, and prescription medications do not offer a permanent solution. Actual change comes from persistent effort and ongoing self-development.
Focusing on Progress
Rather than striving for perfection, which is unattainable, we should focus on daily progress. Each step forward, no matter how small, contributes to the overall journey of recovery.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
The Importance of Practice and Time
Many individuals have lived with social anxiety for decades, so it is only natural that recovery will take time and practice. Patience and perseverance are essential. Just as champions train for years and musicians dedicate countless hours to their craft, overcoming social anxiety requires sustained effort. As Lao Tzu wisely reminds us, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Put down the book or the practice sessions and allow yourself a well-deserved rest. Set aside a couple of days to step back from your current routine and reward yourself for all the effort and hard work you have invested.
Allowing yourself this time off enables your neural network to process and integrate the work you’ve done. Let your brain do the heavy lifting while you enjoy your break.
Taking Time to Rest and Recharge
After investing significant energy and dedication into your recovery journey, it is important to recognize when you need a break. . Take a couple of days to step back from your current routine and acknowledge all the effort you have put in by rewarding yourself.
Engaging in Enjoyable Activities
During this break, focus on activities that bring you happiness and relaxation. Choose to engage in a favorite hobby or pursue something that you genuinely enjoy. Whether you decide to go to a movie, spend quality time with friends, or simply rest and recharge at home, give yourself permission to unwind and let go of any pressures.
Integrating Progress Through Rest
Giving yourself this time off allows your neural network to process and integrate the work you’ve accomplished. Let your brain do the heavy lifting while you take this necessary break, knowing that rest and self-care are essential parts of your ongoing progress.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.
AI Generated: Table of Contents | Publishing Update
Publishing Update
We forwarded our book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety to the publisher. At this stage, we do not yet have an estimated release date.
The publisher has asked us to refrain from sharing any of the book’s content until we receive formal approval. However, we are permitted to publish the table of contents, which should give readers a general idea of what to expect in the book.
Caveat
The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms experienced. Not everyone is affected in the same way.The intensity and persistence of symptoms can vary greatly from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This reality highlights the complex nature of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, but also the multiple related conditions that often coexist. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for one of these conditions, they are intended to apply broadly to all three.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
TABLE OF CONTENTS
INTRODUCTION
PART I: ACCOUNTABILITY
Chapter One: It’s Not Our Fault Chapter Two: Trust the Process Chapter Three: Always Being Right Chapter Four: The Examined Life Chapter Five: The Destructive Nature of Blame
PART II: NEUROPLASTICITY
Chapter Six: Feeding Our Neural Network Chapter Seven: The Sky is Falling Chapter Eight: Reconstructing Our Neural Network Chapter Nine: Control Fallacies Chapter Ten: Hemispheric Synchronization Chapter Eleven: Emotional Reasoning
PART III: SELF-ESTEEM
Chapter Twelve: Reclaiming and Rebuilding Our Self-Esteem Chapter Thirteen: Filtering and Polarized Thinking Chapter Fourteen: The Importance of a Character Resume Chapter Fifteen: Stop and Smell the Roses Chapter Sixteen: Defense Mechanisms and Social Anxiety Chapter Seventeen: Fallacy of Fairness and Heaven’s Reward Fallacy
PART IV: FEAR-RELATED SITUATIONS
Chapter Eighteen: Origins of Our Automatic Negative Thoughts Chapter Nineteen: Identifying Fear-Related Situations Chapter Twenty: Coping Strategies for Anticipated Situations Chapter Twenty-One: Visualization and Suggestion Chapter Twenty-Two: Fear Situation Plan
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
Brief History of Social Anxiety
While Hippocrates wrote of shyness and social inadequacy roughly 2,500 years ago, the term’ social anxiety’ is a relatively recent diagnosis. The 1930s saw the introduction of ‘social neurosis’ to describe extreme shyness, which later evolved into ‘social phobia’ in 1980 and eventually ‘social anxiety disorder’ in 1994.
This historical evolution of the term’ social anxiety‘ provides us with a deeper understanding of its complexities and helps us navigate its modern manifestations. Over this period, SAD was conflated with generalized anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder. Even today, experts sometimes confuse social anxiety with social phobia, agoraphobia, and other emotional issues.
In fact, most of us dealing with social anxiety also have at least one additional comorbid disorder, further highlighting the need for individualized treatment. This prevalence of comorbid disorders is a common experience among those with social anxiety, and it’s important to recognize that we are not alone in our struggles.
Major depression and substance abuse are the most common, followed by simple phobias and generalized anxiety disorder. Comorbid anxiety disorders, such as OC-D, panic disorder, and agoraphobia, are also evident.
When I returned to university in my late forties, recovery methods for our condition were still in their formative stages and, as I later discovered, poorly invested in social anxiety. It remains the most underrated and misunderstood of all disorders.
Research indicates that social anxiety exists on a continuum, from mild shyness to severe social anxiety disorder. The key distinction lies in the severity of the condition. We use the acronym SAD for social anxiety and social phobia/social anxiety disorder, as each indicates a moderate to high level of disability and functional impairment.
In addition to the common symptoms, individuals experiencing SAD are statistically more likely to face challenges such as dropping out of school, unemployment, underemployment, being unmarried or divorced, reduced social interaction, dissatisfaction with leisure activities, and experiencing suicidal thoughts.
Sixty to eighty percent of us also experience depression, substance abuse, and at least one other anxiety disorder. Because of its proximate comorbidity to depression, we are subject to the same sense of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness alluded to by the pioneer of cognitive behavior therapy, Dr. Aaron Beck.
Not only does SAD convince us that recovery is hopeless, but our negative self-appraisal is so overwhelming that we deem ourselves unworthy of happiness and convince ourselves we are helpless to do anything about it. We can’t envision a light at the end of the tunnel because so much negativity is blocking our view.
Understanding social anxiety is a deeply personal journey. Often referred to as the ‘neglected anxiety disorder’, it became clear to me that traditional treatments were not working, but the reasons remained elusive.
After extensive research and personal application, I came to understand that the complexities of social anxiety, much like the mysteries of the ancient Greek Eleusinian cult, are only revealed to those who have experienced it firsthand. This personal journey of understanding is something many of us can relate to, and it forms a crucial part of our recovery process.
In other words, only someone who has walked in our shoes and mastered the intricacies of social anxiety can effectively guide us through recovery. Clinically sound and well-intentioned recovery methods are problematic because they are designed for disorders that do not sustain themselves through irrational thoughts and behaviors.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
What is SAD
SAD is a multifaceted and intricate health condition – a master of disguise that withholds its secrets from those who haven’t experienced its enigmatic and catastrophic nature. It is more emotionally complex than a hormonal teenager.
Social anxiety steals our autonomy, hopes, and dreams. It makes us feel unwelcome and exposed. It crushes our self-esteem, causing us to doubt our worth and abilities. And it saps our confidence and desirability, causing us to avoid social activities and personal connectivity.
Social avoidance is one of the most prevalent behaviors in SAD. Social connection improves our physical health and mental and emotional well-being. And SAD does not want us to be healthy and happy because that diminishes its power and releases us from its insidious grasp.
I have worked with far too many incredible individuals who approach recovery with the best intentions but lack the resolve because their fears overwhelm them.
SAD sustains itself by compelling irrational thoughts and behaviors that become so habitual that they normalize. Although our condition causes a considerable amount of suffering, many individuals experiencing SAD do not seek medical attention because they do not perceive their condition as abnormal.
SAD traps us in a vicious cycle of fear and anxiety, restricting us from taking advantage of opportunities. Our fear of disapproval is so severe that we avoid the life-affirming experiences that connect us with others and the world. We fear the unknown and unexplored. We worry about how others perceive us and how we express ourselves.
While occasional anxiety is a regular part of life, we tend to personalize and dramatize our anxiety, ostensibly blowing it out of proportion and obsessing over its alleged power and influence, not recognizing that we fuel its authority.
We endure anxiety for weeks before a situation, engaging in anticipatory processing, a term that refers to the habit of predicting worst-case scenarios. We project criticism, rejection, and embarrassment in every social engagement, and we mold our behaviors to make our self-fulfilling prophecy happen.
Afterwards, we engage in post-event processing, where we ruminate obsessively about every negative aspect of our participation, agonizing over every perceived mistake or flawed interaction.
It’s no wonder we avoid social and performance activities.
Experiencing SAD is like one of those movies in which aliens invade human bodies, controlling their thoughts and behaviors. The only remedy is logic and self-awareness, causing them to wither and die. Social anxiety feeds off our misery and hopelessness, surviving through our fears and anxieties.
Understanding how our social anxiety deceives and manipulates us is a crucial step towards recovery. By recognizing the symptoms and characteristics of our condition, we gain the tools to ameliorate its power. Enabling us to take control of our lives.
We fear situations in which we may be judged negatively, criticized, or even ridiculed. Since it is human nature to evaluate others and form opinions, we avoid situations and activities where there is even a slight likelihood of being scrutinized.
Subsequently, we avoid engaging with people, fearing we will embarrass or humiliate ourselves. Our self-esteem is so fragile that we often feign disinterest when someone approaches us. Convinced that we will be rejected as undesirable, awkward, or inferior.
We fear that others will notice our anxiety by revealing physical symptoms like blushing, sweating, nausea, or speaking incoherently. We desperately want to make a favorable impression and are unduly concerned that any detection of our anxiety will expose us and make others uncomfortable.
Social anxiety instills in us unsound fears and apprehensions that are disproportionate to the actual situation. It limits our expectations, causing us to miss opportunities for friendship and intimacy.
Knowing Ourselves
It is essential to understand how we are individually affected by SAD. Each of us, as unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations, experiences SAD in a highly subjective way.
Some of us are more severely affected than others. Some relate to specific symptoms, while others do not. And some individuals are afraid of all or almost all social situations. While others are afraid of only a few of them. Some coping mechanisms may be more effective than others or may work sporadically.
It is productive to distinguish the primary focus of our anxiety, e.g., anxiety related to social interaction versus anxiety related to performance.
Simple tasks, such as eating in front of others, talking on the phone, or using public transportation or a public restroom, can be unduly stressful. We often find ourselves seeking invisibility to avoid participation.
One client bravely shared, “I spent high school trying to hide in every dark corner with a book in my face. I never once ate lunch in four years, and never once went to the bathroom in four years at my high school, for fear of having to interact with people.”
Living with SAD means navigating a paradoxical emotional landscape. We find ourselves craving companionship while shunning intimacy. Fearing that we will be deemed unlikable. This internal conflict can be overwhelming, leading to a constant state of anxiety and fear.
It’s not fear that destroys our lives, but the strategies we develop to avoid confrontation. At the peak of my social anxiety, I would circle the block repeatedly before a social situation to bolster my courage. Often, I ended up in the bar across the street rather than the event, a clear example of self-loathing through avoidance.
Our social interactions are often clumsy, small talk is inelegant, and attempts at humor are embarrassing. Our anticipation of rejection motivates us to dismiss overtures that could offset any possibility of being turned down.
SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviors. It establishes its authority through defeatist measures, which are actions or thoughts that reinforce a sense of failure and inadequacy, produced by distorted and unsound interpretations of reality. These defeatist measures can include self-criticism, avoidance of social situations, and negative self-talk, all of which perpetuate the cycle of anxiety and fear.
Sharing our experiences with social anxiety is like trying to describe an obscure mathematical equation to someone who doesn’t understand math – a solitary and often fruitless endeavor, as others struggle to comprehend our issue. ‘So, you have anxiety. Who doesn’t?’ is a typical response. This leads to a reticence to disclose our condition, as we fear being misunderstood or ridiculed.
Alleviating the symptoms of social anxiety is a gradual process that requires patience, introspection, and persistence. It’s not about rushing to find the answers, but about understanding the journey and the process that leads to them.
What makes us tick? What triggers our fears and apprehensions? Where do we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we engaged in, and what thoughts arise? How do we feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What specific concerns or worries do we have? What is the worst thing that could happen? What do we imagine might occur? Who, where, or what do we avoid due to these feelings?
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Associated Fears
Associated fears are the fears we experience during a fear-inducing situation. To identify these fears, it’s essential to pay attention to our thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations when we find ourselves in such situations. For example, if our fear involves a social gathering, our associated fears might include that no one will talk to us, that we will feel like we don’t belong, or that our physical symptoms will become obvious.
If our situation is the barber or beauty shop, our fears may stem from difficulty making small talk with our hairdresser. Or feeling like we are the glaring center of attention while trapped in the chair. If our fear occurs during Sunday dinner with family, our fears may stem from parental disapproval. Or the belief that our achievements are overshadowed by those of our siblings, making us feel small and inferior.
Every fear situation and associated fear are subjective, diverse, and extremely meaningful.
One Size Does Not Fit All
It’s essential to recognize that social anxiety is a complex condition, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. A comprehensive treatment program must take into account our unique environment, heritage, background, and relationships. To achieve this, it employs a range of traditional and non-traditional methodologies, developed through a combination of client trust, cultural understanding, and therapeutic innovation.
This complexity underscores the uniqueness of your journey and the need for a personalized approach.
It incorporates complementary approaches, such as proactive and active neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral therapy, positive psychology, recovery-oriented cognitive therapy, schema therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy, rational emotive behavior therapy, and gradual exposure therapy, among other methods developed through research and our workshops.
AI Generated
Counterintuitive and Counterproductive
Remember when our parents and teachers advised us to trust our intuition? Unless we’re sociopaths, that’s good advice. Unfortunately, social anxiety sustains itself by perpetuating irrational thoughts and behaviors, which, by their very nature, are counterintuitive to rational productivity.
Counterproductive means that any attempt to do something has the opposite of the desired effect. Social anxiety thrives by introducing thoughts and behaviors that are counterproductive to our emotional well-being.
Everything that stems from our condition – every idea, instinct, expression, thought, and behavior – is counterproductive unless we understand how social anxiety sustains itself. This is why our attempts at recovery have been ineffective. They have been nonproductive, generating the opposite of the desired effect.
Counterintuitive means that our instincts and intuitions lead us to actions that are not in our best interest. For example, if our intuition tells us that something is logical and correct, it is likely wrong. This is why it’s important to remember that our intuition is likely counterproductive.
When our intuition prompts us to do something, it is prudent to do the opposite or do nothing. Because our actions will be counterintuitive and therefore counterproductive. And, if our intuition tells us that something is logical and correct, it is likely wrong.
Like the toddler given the choice of candy or a carrot, social anxiety compels us to choose the unhealthy option. The devil sits on our right shoulder, our angel on the left. Our condition deafens our left ear.
When we later discuss hemispheric synchronization, we learn that our cerebrum consists of two hemispheres. Our left hemisphere is the hub of logic, analysis, and rationality. While the right is the seat of creativity, imagination, and intuition. Before recovery, our actions are driven by emotions.Our right hemisphere overwhelms the left, leading us to make judgments and decisions based on our feelings rather than evidence.
Like salmon, we swim against the current.
Even when the logical choice is clear, SAD steers us in the opposite direction. It operates in its own ‘Bizarro’ world, where the rules of logic and reason are turned upside down. What appears right is usually wrong, and what makes sense is nonsensical.
While traditional recovery programs may be effective for most mental health conditions, social anxiety requires a distinct and specializedapproach from someone who has journeyed with social anxiety and reached the destination of recovery. I understand social anxiety intimately. I’ve been there, experienced it, and have the T-shirt to show for it.
I’m here to tell you that there is a way out of this darkness. An escape from the sewer you find yourselves in. Recovery is a reality. However, contrary to some well-intentioned misinformation, there is no absolute cure for social anxiety disorder. But there is dramatic mitigation of its symptoms. Someone may have told you otherwise, or you may have read Internet success stories, but there is no magic pill.
Some experts claim pharmaceuticals cure our condition, but drugs are short-term solutions. Contrary to popular thought, medication does not permanently change brain chemistry.
Recovery provides us with new, positive perspectives, but we cannot dismiss decades of negative self-appraisal. And that’s a blessing because these memories and experiences make us more aware and compassionate human beings.
Ultimately, it’s a fundamental choice. Are you content with who you are now, or do you aspire to change for the better? Do you choose to be miserable or to be happy? The power to make this choice is in your hands. Choose self-satisfaction, choose happiness. Don’t fall for SAD games. Choose recovery.
In the words of John Greenleaf Whittier.“Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, “It might have been.”
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Automatic Negative Thoughts: Why We Have Them and How to Alleviate Them
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
Automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are the immediate, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that occur when we are triggered during daily events and situations. ANTs reflect unpleasant and self-defeating expressions of our negative self-evaluation, affecting how we see ourselves, think others perceive us, and express these insecurities.
The question is, why are automatic negative thoughts so prevalent in social anxiety, and what can we do to alleviate their effect on our emotional well-being?
Our Neural Network
Our neural network, a complex system of interconnected nerve cells, circuits, and pathways, has the remarkable ability to adapt and change. This means we can continuously processinformation and respond favorably to our experiences, mitigating our self-sabotaging.
Social anxiety traps us in a cycle of fear and anxiety, hindering us from leading a normal life. We avoid opportunities to connect with others and the world around us. We are unduly conscious about how others perceive us and how we express that information.
Over the years, the metabolism of our brain has been inundated with an overabundance of adverse stimuli, but this does not mean we are destined to be trapped in a cycle of anxiety.
Despite its peculiar tendency to make traditional recovery efforts counterproductive, a robust awareness of the symptoms and traits of our condition provides a framework for reversing the lifelong path of emotional damage.
By examining the underlying causes and responding rationally, we can significantly reduce our social anxiety and create a brighter future.
You may be telling yourself all of that is well and good, but how did we get ourselves in this predicament in the first place? The following breaks down social anxiety’s negative trajectory, revealing how it developed into the irrational thoughts and behaviors we demonstrate daily
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The Trajectory of Our Belief System
Our belief system, which is the foundation of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, shapes how we see and interact with the world. They are broken down into three primary, interactive patterns: core beliefs, intermediate beliefs, and automatic thoughts.
Core Beliefs
Core beliefs are our most deeply held attitudes about ourselves and others, shaped by our childhood caregivers, environment, and experiences. Attitudes are our initial ways of thinking and feeling about someone or something, and how we express those mental and emotional beliefs.
When we decline to question our core beliefs, we accept them as facts, ignoring evidence that contradicts them. Thus, we create or interpret situations that reinforce these beliefs. While deeply rooted and formed early in life, core beliefs are malleable, influenced by our intermediate beliefs. This flexibility of beliefs encourages an open-minded and receptive approach to change, as it means we can challenge and alter our core beliefs with new experiences and evidence.
Intermediate Beliefs
Intermediate beliefs act as a bridge between our core beliefs and automatic thoughts. Unlike core beliefs, they become more flexible through the acquisition of knowledge and awareness generated by further thought, experience, and the senses. Our intermediate beliefs profoundly influence our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.
Our attitudes are how our feelings, beliefs, and actions define our general evaluations of people, things, and concepts. Rules are guidelines or principles we believe must be followed to support our beliefs and actions.
Assumptions are the decisions defined by our rules. We accept these assumptions as accurate, but they are just subjective assessments of life developed by our attitudes, rules, and assumptions.
Our intermediate beliefs are the conduit to our automatic thoughts. Our trajectory from negative core and intermediate beliefs to the manifestation of our social anxiety adversely impacts the thoughts and behaviors we carry with us in social and performance situations.
Automatic Thoughts
As described, automatic thoughts, those quick, involuntary mental or emotional responses to triggers in our environment, are heavily influenced by our intermediate beliefs. These beliefs, which are shaped by our experiences, play a significant role in how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.
Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) sustained by our social anxiety define our adverse automatic feelings and emotions.
Emotions are our automatic neurological responses to stimuli, and feelings are our unconscious interpretations of those emotions. It’s crucial to actively recognize and examine the feelings that arise from an emotion. This awareness is a vital part of engaging with our mental processes and understanding the triggers of our automatic negative thoughts.
Understanding the core and intermediate beliefs behind our automatic thoughts is a powerful tool. For instance, if we were often chosen last for high school events, we might develop the intermediate belief that we are unlikable and incapable, rooted in a core belief of insignificance. Conversely, if were are the captain of the popular girls’ volleyball team, our automatic thought might be, ‘I am talented and popular.’
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
The Trajectory of Our Social Anxiety
Now that we’ve explained the evolution of our belief system, let’s explore the predictable, negative trajectory of our social anxiety. It starts with childhood disturbance.
Childhood Disturbance
We’ve discussed how childhood disturbance interferes with our optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development. Stemming primarily from poor parental rearing (although environment and genetics may play a part), the disturbance fosters core beliefs such as abandonment, neglect, expendability, and inadequacy.
The disturbance may be a one-time occurrence or a series of events. It may be accidental or intentional, real or imagined. It is not the fault of the child, yet it greatly significantly influences our core beliefs, making the two mutually interactive.
Core Beliefs
Childhood Disturbance
Negative Core Beliefs
Negative Intermediate Beliefs
Automatic Negative Thoughts
SAD Onset
Social anxiety disorder commonly emerges during adolescence, typically around age thirteen, but it can also surface later in life. This delayed onset can sometimes lead individuals to believe they didn’t have social anxiety until their later years. However, the susceptibility to SAD ostensibly begins with childhood disturbance and manifests during early adolescence.
As I recall, I was fearless as an eleven-year-old, visiting the alleys and tenements of Skid Row searching for my father until I found him in a room with a dirty sink and no toilet. My social anxiety seemed to take hold in the summer before high school when I was thirteen, which supports the statistics.
The development of intermediate beliefs extends roughly from childhood through adolescence (roughly ages three through eighteen). Therefore, placing SAD onset between negative core beliefs and negative intermediate beliefs is not fully accurate, but reasonable.
Core Beliefs
Childhood Disturbance
Negative Core Beliefs
SAD Onset
Negative Intermediate Beliefs
Automatic Negative Thoughts
Situations
We understand a situation as a specific set of circumstances, including the facts, conditions, and events that affect us at a particular time and place. Our focus is on fear situations where we anticipate specific anxieties and worries will surface. These can vary widely and include social events, classroom settings, public swimming pools, beauty salons, and other common triggers for anxiety.
Each fear situation is as unique and subjective as the individuals experiencing it. By understanding these fear situations, we can better prepare for them.
Anticipated situations are those we know in advance will trigger our fears and anxieties. They may be one-time events, like a job interview or social gathering, or recurring events, such as a weekly class or everyday work setting.
Unexpected situations can catch us off guard, involving stress-inducing incidents such as a plumbing problem, an unanticipated guest, or losing a wallet.
By distinguishing between these two types of situations, we can better prepare ourselves to handle either scenario. For expected situations, we can strategize ahead of time to address our potential threats. This preparedness is a key tool in managing fear.
For unexpected situations, creating an emergency preparedness kit with practiced coping mechanisms is a practical reassurance.
To identify our expected fear situations, we ask ourselves several questions: Where are we when we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we doing, and what thoughts might come up? What specific parts of the situation do we perceive as problematic? How do we feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and socially? What worries or concerns challenge us? What’s the worst outcome we believe could happen? What might we imagine could occur? Who or what do we avoid because of these feelings?
The situations that provoke our fears and anxieties obviously precede our automatic negative thoughts, and we have placed them appropriately on our chart.
Core Beliefs
Childhood Disturbance
Negative Core Beliefs
SAD Onset
Negative Intermediate Beliefs
Situation
Automatic Negative Thoughts
Triggers
A trigger is a psychological stimulus that evokes distressful feelings or memories and prompts an adverse emotional reaction or behavior. These triggers often originate from past experiences, incidents, observations, memories, images, and the behaviors of others.
It’s essential to acknowledge that even sensory reminders of a disturbance or traumatic event – such as sound, sight, smell, taste, or physical sensation – can trigger reactions, underscoring the profound impact of our past on our present responses.
For example, consider our toddler, Laura, from Chapter One, who developed core beliefs of insignificance and undesirability due to a lack of emotional support from her parents.
Years later, Laura’s difficulty making friends during high school lends credibility to her core and intermediate beliefs. Laura’s negative self-assessment is automatically triggered when a friend rejects her at a social event. She is consumed by automatic negative thoughts about her attractiveness and self-worth.
It’s important to recognize that automatic negative thinking is a common response to social anxiety and does not indicate personal weakness.
Automatic Negative Thoughts
As we defined at the beginning of this chapter, automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are the immediate, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that arise when we are triggered during everyday events and situations.
ANTs reflect unpleasant and self-defeating expressions of our negative self-appraisal, influencing how we view ourselves, think others perceive us, and how we express these insecurities.
These thoughts are irrational, self-defeating, and originate from our negative core beliefs, which are sustained by intermediate negative beliefs and our condition.
Fortunately, these self-sabotaging thinking patterns are not set in stone and can be replaced with self-affirming, productive thoughts that we actively develop during recovery, leading to a significant improvement in our emotional well-being.
Solutions
Triggers lead to the activation of our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Once we have a basic understanding of these triggers and the ANTs they generate, we can explore solutions.
Coping mechanisms are learned psychological tools and techniques that reduce anxiety and discomfort during stressful situations. These can be traditional or non-traditional methods to counteract our triggers, automatic negative thoughts, and behaviors that harm our emotional well-being.
These can include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness techniques, or even engaging in a favorite hobby. As we progress, we will learn to identify and practice situationally effective coping mechanisms in simulated and real-world conditions.
There are many coping mechanisms to choose from. Some will be personally effective and others will not. Some may work only once or in specific situations. We practice, analyze, and determine which mechanisms prove most subjectively effective, ensuring that each individual’s unique needs are met.
Our automatic negative thoughts are emotional reactions rooted in our negative core and intermediate beliefs, as well as the self-defeating symptoms of our condition. But we are not powerless against these ANTs. Understanding them and challenging them with reason and objectivity enables us to regain control over our thoughts and behaviors, fostering a sense of empowerment and capability.
The three most powerful coping mechanisms include grounding, which is focusing on our physical presence in the present moment to redirect anxiety; reframing, where we consciously and spontaneously choose a positive perspective over negative stimuli; and rational coping statements.
AI Generated Image
Rational Coping Statements
A rational coping statement is a logical, self-affirming response to automatic negative thoughts, intrusive thoughts, and other irrational or destructive self-assessments that threaten our emotional health. Once again, automatic negative thoughts are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking statements provoked by the thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that manifest when we are triggered.
For example, if we fear being criticized in a social setting, our intermediate thoughts might include, ‘I will be rejected,’ or ‘No one will talk to me.’ When triggered, these fears generate automatic negative thoughts, such as ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am unwelcome.’
Remember, ANTs can be triggered by thoughts, emotions, memories, images, and sensory recall, but they stem from our core beliefs—like abandonment or detachment—that are reinforced by our negative intermediate beliefs.
It is crucial to recognize that our ANTs are not based on facts but on assumptions. An assumption is something we believe is true or likely to happen, but we have no proof (unless we’re mind readers or fortune tellers). Recognizing this can bring relief, as it reminds us that assumptions are generally inaccurate.
The ANTs, ‘I don’t belong here’ and ‘I am unwelcome’ are assumptions. We can effectively fight these assumptions by responding with rational coping statements. These statements, such as ‘I have every right to be here,’ or ‘I am deserving of acceptance and belonging,’ Are not just words. They are powerful tools that affirm our worth and dispel false beliefs, putting us back in control of our thoughts and emotions.
Remember, our anxieties are not real. They feel real but are intangible. Anxiety is an abstract idea; it has no power of its own. We create and nurture it, giving it strength and influence. This understanding puts us in the driver’s seat, reminding us that we are in control; anxiety is just a false projection that we can dismiss. It is a subjective, illogical projection, and we have the power to change it.
Devising Rational Coping Statements
First, we identify the situations that trigger our fears. Where do we feel anxious or scared? What activities are we involved in? What thoughts come up? Is it a networking event, speaking in front of a class, a social outing, a family dinner, or being in a public swimming pool? Everyone is different.
Next, we unpack the fears or anxieties associated with the situational triggers. What exactly is problematic? How do we feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually? What worries do we have? What’s the worst that could happen? What do we imagine might occur? Who or what do we avoid because of these feelings? What is being said or inferred?
From there, we unmask our corresponding ANTs. What negative messages do we tell ourselves when triggered? How do we express them? What involuntary emotional images or expressions do we experience? How do we negatively view ourselves during these moments?
Remember, our automatic negative thoughts are the immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking statements provoked by the thoughts, emotions, memories, and images that manifest when we are triggered. Statements such as ‘No one will talk to me,’ ‘I am unattractive,’ or ‘I will say something stupid.’
After thoroughly examining and analyzing our fear situations, triggers, associated fears, and corresponding ANTs, we generate rational coping statements. We know our fears and ANTs are irrational reflections of our negative self-appraisal. By examining and analyzing the reasons behind them, we view them in the context of the situation. Are they practical? Are they real or false assumptions? How would a confident, self-assured individual respond to them?
With this information, we devise rational coping statements to counteract or alleviate our ANTs.
Eventually, we will expose ourselves to our fear situations by confronting our associated anxieties and corresponding ANTs in real life. This exposure occurs after a suitable period of graded exposure – usually in a workshop or therapeutic environment – which involves gradually increasing the intensity of the fear situation to establish a comfort zone and familiarity with the prescribed tools and techniques.
Steps to Devising Rational Coping Statements
Identify Our Fear Situation
Unpack Our Associated Fear(s)
Unmask Our Corresponding ANT(s)
Analyze Our Associated Fear(s) and Corresponding ANT(s)
Generate Rational Coping Statements
Intrusive Thoughts
Not all thoughts are caused by specific situations or unexpected events. Intrusive thoughts are unpleasant thoughts, memories, or images that suddenly come into our minds without any clear reason. They tend to be strange, disturbing, repetitive, and difficult to dismiss.
While they can be linked to stressful situations, we differentiate intrusive thoughts from automatic negative thoughts, which are responses to specific situations, because intrusive thoughts appear out of nowhere, usually without identifiable triggers.
It’s important to remember that intrusive thoughts are common. They often produce disturbing and offensive images, such as violence, sexual explicitness, or socially inappropriate behavior. These are not reflections of our true selves, but rather dark fantasies that most of us have entertained at some point.
Some common examples of intrusive thoughts include thoughts of suddenly swerving your car into a crowd of people. Or tossing a brick through a store window at a rude salesclerk. Maybe we fantasize about shoplifting to see if we can get away with it. Or cheating on our significant other who has been dismissive.
It’s normal to experience intermittent intrusive thoughts. However, some can be especially difficult to manage. These might be repetitive thoughts that keep us awake at night. Or violent images that we can’t seem to shake off.
The unwanted and unexpected nature of intrusive thoughts sets them apart from other thoughts, worries, ruminations, or desires. These disturbing thoughts are often so opposite to our character and wishes that they can cause distress or disgust when we have them.
Other Negative Influences on Our Thinking
People experiencing social anxiety often cling to information that confirms their negative self-view while ignoring evidence that contradicts those beliefs. This behavior leads to cognitive biases—unconscious errors in thinking that distort how we perceive information, ultimately affecting the accuracy of our perceptions and decisions.
Adding to this problem is our inherent negativity bias. Humans are biologically predisposed to notice, react to, and remember negative stimuli more easily than positive ones. This tendency can worsen the symptoms of our condition.
We often expect the worst-case scenarios, anticipate criticism, fear ridicule and rejection, worry about embarrassing ourselves, and imagine undesirable outcomes. This pattern can create self-fulfilling prophecies, supported by behaviors that turn our negative predictions into reality.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Lecture: Neuroplasticity and Positive Behavioral Change Lake Shore Unitarian Society, Winnetka, Illinois
Neuroplasticity and Positive Behavioral Change
Italicized portions were omitted from the lecture due to time constraints.
What is the role of neuroplasticity in positive behavioral change? It is to access and utilize both hemispheres of the brain to accelerate and consolidate learning. I am a radical behaviorist. What does that mean? Radical behaviorism not only considers observable behaviors but also the diversity of human thought and experience. That calls for a collaboration of science, philosophy, and psychology. And philosophy, existentially defined, welcomes religious and spiritual insight. All this information requires full implementation of our neural network.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
The definition of recovery is regainingpossession or control of something stolen or lost. Self-empowerment is making a conscious decision to become stronger and more confident in controlling our lives. In neuroses such as anxiety, depression, and comorbidities, what has been stolen or lost is our emotional well-being and quality of life. In self-empowerment, it is the loss of self-esteem and motivation. So, both recovery and self-empowerment deal with regaining what has been lost. And both are supported by neuroplasticity.
If there is an underlying theme in recovery, it is that we are not defined by our disorder, but by our character strengths, virtues, attributes and achievements.
Neuroplasticity
Plasticity is the quality of being easily shaped or molded. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s constant adaptation and restructuring to information.
Before 1960, researchers thought that neurogenesis, or the creation of new neurons, stopped after birth. Today, science recognizes that our neural network is dynamic and malleable – realigning its pathways and rebuilding its circuits in response to information.
What is information? Thought, experience, phenomena, sensation, sights, sounds, smells, tactile impressions – anything and everything that impacts our neural network. Our wonderful brain never stops learning and unlearning. Absent that, we would be incapable of replacing unhealthy behaviors with productive ones.
What is significant is our ability to dramatically accelerate and consolidate learning by compelling our brain to repattern its neural circuitry. Our neural network is structured around negative information. The primary objective in recovery and self-empowerment is replacing or overwhelming that negative information with positive neural input.
Three Forms of Neuroplasticity
Human neuroplasticity comes in three forms. The two that concern us are active and proactive. Reactive neuroplasticity is our brain’s natural response to things over which we have limited to no control – stimuli we absorb but do not initiate or focus on. Our neural network automatically restructures itself to what happens around us.
Active neuroplasticity is cognitive pursuits like teaching, aerobics, journaling, and creating. We control this aspect of neuroplasticity because we consciously choose the activity. An important component of active neuroplasticity is ethical and compassionate social behavior. We’ll expand on that shortly.
The third form is proactive neuroplasticity – the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information called DRNI. It is the most effective means of accelerating and consolidating learning and unlearning.
Both active and proactive neuroplasticity empower us to transform our thoughts and behaviors, creating healthy NEW mindsets, skills, and abilities. Through informed and deliberate engagement, we compel change rather than reacting to it.
What does all this mean? It confirms that our psychological health is self-determined. We control our emotional well–being. Now bad things happen, much of which we have limited to no control over. We are impacted by outside forces: life experiences, physical deterioration, hostilities, the quirks of nature. Psychological well–being means how we react to things is self–determined. How we respond to adversity as well as fortune and prosperity
Trajectory of Negative Self-Beliefs
So, where does all this negative information come from? What are its origins and trajectory? Why are our neural networks so clogged with harmful, growth-impeding information?
It starts with our core beliefs. Core beliefs are the deeply held convictions that determine how we see ourselves in the world. We form them during childhood in response to information and experiences, and by accepting what we are told as true. Core beliefs can remain our belief system throughout life unless challenged.
Childhood Disturbance
Cumulative evidence that a toxic childhood is a primary causal factor in emotional instability or insecurity has been well established. During the development of our core beliefs, we are subject to a childhood disturbance – a broad and generic term for anything that interferes with our optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development.
Disturbances are ubiquitous – they happen to all of us. What differentiates us is how we react or respond to the disturbance – our susceptibility and vulnerability. Any number of things can precipitate childhood disturbance. Our parents are controlling or don’t provide emotional validation. Perhaps we are subject to sibling rivalry or a broken home. It is important to recognize, the disturbance may be real or imagined, intentional or accidental.
I give the example of the toddler, whose parental quality time is interrupted by a phone call. That seemingly insignificant event can foster in the child a sense of abandonment, which can then generate feelings of unworthiness and insignificance. We are not accountable for childhood disturbance or subsequent behaviors. As we mature, we are responsible for addressing our destructive behaviors, but we are not accountable for their origins. It’s important to remain mindful of that.
Negative Core Beliefs
Feelings of detachment, neglect, exploitation are common consequences of childhood disturbance, and they generate negative core beliefs so rigid, we refuse to question them, and ignore evidence that contradicts them. This establishes what is called a cognitive bias – a subconscious error in our thinking that leads us to misinterpret information, questioning the accuracy of our perspectives and decisions. This is why we have such societal divisiveness. We don’t challenge our hard-core beliefs.
Intermediate Beliefs
The confluence of childhood disturbance and negative core beliefs impacts our intermediate beliefs,the next phase of our psychological development. Intermediate beliefsestablish our attitudes, rules, and assumptions. Attitudes refer to our emotions, convictions, and behaviors. Rules are the principles or regulations or moral interpretations that influence our behaviors. Our assumptions are what we believe to be true or real. These intermediate beliefs, of course, are influenced by our social, cultural, and environmental experiences.
Let me emphasize, that none of this negative trajectory is extraordinary. It is a natural progression common to all of us. Our unique personalities and experiences determine our susceptibility to it and the severity of its impact.
Self-Esteem
This accumulation of negative core and intermediate self-beliefs impacts the development of our self-esteem. Self-esteem, loosely defined, is a complex interrelationship between how we think about ourselves, how we think others think about us, and how we process and present that information.
We are social beings, driven by a fundamental human need for intimacy and interpersonal exchange. Human interconnectedness is necessary for our mental and physical health. Low levels of self-esteem jeopardize our social competency and impact our motivation to recover and pursue certain goals and objectives, to self-empower.
We also have an inherent negative bias, similar to our cognitive bias, which compels us to focus more on negative experiences than positive ones. When we lie in bed reminiscing about experiences, it’s usually about bad ones. Add to our accumulation of negativity are the experiences of life – outside forces over which we have little to no control. Hostility, divisiveness, illness, social media. The long and short of it, our brains are structured around an overabundance of negative information. Proactive and active neuroplasticity counter that negativity with positive neural input. That is their role.
Let’s briefly talk about what goes on [in our brain] with active and proactive neuroplasticity. Neurons are the core components of our brain and central nervous system. They convey information through electrical impulses or energy. Whether that energy is positive or negative depends upon the integrity of our information. Our brain receives around two million bits of data per second but is capable of processing roughly 126 bits, so it is important to provide substantial and incorrupt information.
Neural Trajectory of Information
Information alerts or sparks a receptor neuron that algorithmically converts it into electrical impulse energy which forwards that energy to a sensory neuron that stimulates presynaptic or transmitter neurons that pass that energy to postsynaptic or receiving neurons that then forward that energy to millions of participating neurons, causing a cellular chain reaction in multiple interconnected areas of our brain. Confusing? Absolutely.
Here’s an easy way to visualize it.
Neural Benefits
Neurons don’t act by themselves but through circuits that strengthen or weaken their connections based on our information. Like muscles, the more repetitions, the more robust the energy of the information, and the stronger the circuits.
In addition to positively restructuring our neural network, proactive and active neuroplasticity trigger what is called long-term potentiation. Neurons repeatedly stimulate succeeding neurons sometimes for weeks on end. This strengthens the nerve impulses along the connecting pathways, generating more energy and more neural chain reactions.
They produce higher levels of BDNF(brain-derived neurotrophic factors) – proteins associated with improved cognitive functioning, mental health, memory, and concentration.
The positive energy of our information is picked up by millions of neurons that amplify the impulse (or energy or activity) on a massive scale. Positive information in, positive energy reciprocated in abundance. Conversely, negative information in, negative energy reciprocated in abundance. Thus the significance of positive reinforcement.
Chemical Hormones
When the activity of the connecting pathways is heightened, the natural neurotransmission of chemical hormones accelerates, releasing cognitive and physiological support. GABA for relaxation, dopamine for pleasure and motivation, endorphins to boost our self–esteem, and serotonin for a sense of well-being.
Those are the highlights. Scientists have identified over fifty chemical hormones in the human body. Every input or bit of information or data accelerates and consolidates the neurotransmission of these hormones.
Unfortunately, as physics would have it, we receive these same neural benefits whether our information is positive or negative. All information is rewarded by restructuring, long–term potentiation, BDNF, reciprocation, and supportive hormones. The same neural responses are activated. That’s one of the reasons breaking a habit, keeping to a resolution, or mitigating our behaviors is challenging. O
ur brain acclimates to whatever we input and every time we repeat a destructive behavior or a bad habit, our neural circuits adapt and reward us. Thus, the importance of the integrity of our information.
Physiological Aversity to Change
We are alreadyphysiologically averse to change. Our bodies and brains are structured to attack anything that disrupts their equilibrium. A new diet or exercise regimen produces uncomfortable, physiological changes in our heart rate, metabolism, and respiration. Inertia senses and resists these changes, and our basal ganglia – the group of nuclei responsible for our emotional behaviors and habit formation – resist any modification in our patterns of behavior. Thus, habits like smoking, gambling, or gossiping are hard to break, and new undertakings like recovery, improvement, and self-empowerment, are challenging to maintain.
We inherently desire to be better persons and to contribute to others and society. But we are entrenched with negative self-beliefs. We have tried everything to overcome our condition and achieved less than desired results, which makes us feel incompetent and worthless, generating an overriding sense of futility.
We beat ourselves up daily for our perceptual inadequacies. Our inherent negative bias causes us to store information consistent with our negative beliefs and image. Psychology still focuses on what’s wrong with us. We consume ourselves with our problems instead of celebrating our achievements, and we constantly look for ways to justify or support our thoughts and behaviors. We blame ourselves for our defects as if they are the pervading forces of our true being, rather than celebrate our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Additional Negative Influx
We are consumed and conditioned by negative words. By the age of sixteen, we have heard the word no from our parents, roughly, 135,000 times. That’s a statistic and we take statistics with a large grain of salt but, you get the drift. Some of us use the same unfortunate words over and over again. The more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us. Our brain learns through repetition.
It is not just the words we say aloud in criticism and conversations. The self-annihilating words we silently call ourselves convince us we are helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless – the four horsemen of emotional dysfunction. They cause our neural network to transmit chemical hormones that impair our logic, reasoning, and communication, impacting the parts of our brain that regulate our memory, concentration, and emotions.
Our neural network is replete with toxic information.
Proactive Neuroplasticity
Proactive neuroplasticity is initiated by DRNI – the deliberate, repetitive, neural input of information. What is this information? It is self-motivating and empowering statements that help us focus on our goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds. Individually focused statements that we repeat to ourselves to describe what and who we want to be. Think of them as aspirations or self-fulfilling prophecies. We incorporate them into positive personal affirmations and rational responses to our negative self-beliefs.
I belong here.
I am valuable and significant.
I am confident and self–assured.
I am strong and resilient.
I am worthy of success and abundance.
Neural Information
We drastically underestimate the significance and effectiveness of these self-affirming statements when we do not understand the science behind them. Practicing positive personal affirmations and rational responses dramatically accelerate and consolidate the positive restructuring of our neural network and weexperience a perceptible change in our thoughts, behaviors, and outlook on life.
It is the integrity of the information that compels the algorithmic conversion into positive electrical impulse or energy. Information of integrity is honest, unconditional, sound, and of strong moral principles. We have established certain criteria so that our neural network will recognize the integrity of our information and restructure accordingly. Our information is rational, reasonable, possible, positive, goal–focused, unconditional, and first–person present or future time. Again, we recognize that actual wording is not as important as its integrity, but it is better emotionally if we are secure in our intent.
Information Criteria
Rational. The only logical recourse to irrational thought.
Reasonable. Unreasonable aspirations get us nowhere. It’s unreasonable to expect a grammy for song of the year if we’re tone-deaf.
Possible. If we are incapable of achieving our goal, it is ridiculous to pursue it.
Positive. Negative information is counterproductive to positive neural restructuring.
Goal-focused. If we do not know our destination, we will not recognize it when we arrive.
Unconditional. Our commitment must be certain. The affirmation, I will give up drinking – when my wife is in the room, defeats the purpose.
First-person present or future. The past is irrevocable so let’s concentrate on what we have control over.
Brief. Succinct and easily memorized. Our personal affirmations are mantras; they evolve. We change them according to need and circumstance.
Let’s talk about how proactive and active neuroplasticity support each other and how their collaboration advances our goal. While proactive neuroplasticity accelerates neural restructuring because of our deliberate, repetitive, neural input, incorporating both active and proactive neuroplasticity consolidates the process. It reinforces and strengthens our efforts. DRNI is a mental process designed to initiatetherapid, concentrated, neurological stimulation that transmits the electrical energy. It is proactive because we construct the information prior to utilizing it.
However, we are more than mere mental organisms. We are also emotional, social, and spiritual beings. Neglecting these human components is limiting and irrational. Mind, body, spirit, social, and emotions are the gestalt of our humanness. Proactive neuroplasticity is a mental exercise.
Active Neuroplasticity
Active neuroplasticity taps into the emotional, the social, and the spiritual. Beyond healthy activities like yoga, journaling, creating, and listening to music, is our ethical and compassionate social behavior. Altruistic contributions to society are extraordinary assets to neural restructuring. The value of volunteering – providing support, empathy, and concern for those in need, random acts of kindness – is extraordinary, not only in promoting positive behavioral change but in enhancing the integrity of our information. The social interconnectedness established by caring and compassion supports the regeneration of our self-esteem and self-appreciation.
One more rather mundane reason we turn to active neuroplasticity. DRNI requires a calculated regimen of deliberate, repetitive, neural information that is not only tedious but also fails to deliver immediate tangible results, causing us to readily concede defeat and abandon hope in this era of instant gratification. I can tell you from experience, it is challenging to maintain the rigorous process demanded of DRNI – the tedious repetition. Tedium generates avoidance, and we know how difficult it is to establish and maintain new habits. Active neuroplasticity fills any gaps and brings our entire being into play.
In Closing
Proactive and active neuroplasticity are formidable tools in neural restructuring and the corresponding positive transformation of our thoughts, behaviors, and perspectives. Recovery and self-empowerment are achieved through a collaboration of targeted approaches that compel the rediscovery and self-appreciation of our character strengths, virtues, and attributes. While the realignment of our neural network is the framework for recovery and self–empowerment, a coalescence of science and east-west psychologies is essential to capture the diversity of human thought and experience.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Social Anxiety is Not Our Fault – Assuming We Take Steps to Recover
Evidence is irrefutable that childhood disturbance is a significant factor in the development of emotional instability and insecurity.
While the phrase evokes images of apparent abuse, childhood disturbance is a broad term ostensibly involving trauma that hinders optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development.
This can include experiences such as neglect, emotional or physical abuse, witnessing violence, or even more subtle forms of trauma, like a sudden change in the family structure or a significant loss.
When researching the origins of childhood disturbance, the likelihood that no one is directly responsible becomes evident. Consequently, blaming is a futile and irretrievable waste of energy. The disturbance may have been a one-time occurrence or a series of events. It may have been accidental or intentional, real or imagined.
I remember the giant tractor that terrified my childhood dreams before I discovered the encroaching engine noise was the pulsation of blood in my eardrum. The fear was real, the event imagined, but was it traumatic? Perhaps not in this case, but the suggestibility of a child is legendary.
A toddler whose parental quality time is disrupted by a phone call may develop a sense of abandonment or neglect, which can instigate social anxiety.
It is crucial, as we begin recovery, to relieve ourselves of the responsibility of inducing our condition. We did not make social anxiety happen. It happened to us.
This sociological model of blamelessness conflicts with moral models claiming our behaviors are responsible or that it is God’s punishment for sin. Those beliefs are sadly misinformed. Childhood trauma is not our fault. SAD is a consequence of childhood trauma.
So, let’s give up our sackcloth and self-flagellation. It’s time to stop beating ourselves up for something that’s not our causal fault.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Notwithstanding …
While we are not to blame for the infliction of our condition, the responsibility for recovery lies with us. We may not be accountable for the cards we were dealt in childhood, but we are responsible for how we play the hand we are left holding as adults.
Statistics
Roughly 124 million U.S. adults and adolescents experience anxiety disorders. 60% of those have depression, and many resort to substance abuse. Anxiety and depression are the primary causes of the notable increase in adolescent suicide over the last decade, a trend that underscores the urgent need for effective mental health interventions.
An estimated 40 million U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder, and roughly one in three college students has a lifetime anxiety disorder diagnosis. Social anxiety is not a rare condition; it is universal and indiscriminate, and our experiences are valid.
The negative cycle in which those of us with social anxiety find ourselves convinces us that there is something wrong with us when the only thing we’re doing is viewing ourselves and the world wrong – a unique symptom of our condition.
Causes of Social Anxiety
Emotional malfunctions such as the various strains of anxiety and depression are hereditary, environmental, or, in most cases, the result of trauma. The onset of social anxiety is not a result of our actions or choices. With rare exceptions like later-life PTSD or clinical narcissism, the susceptibility to emotional malfunction originates in childhood.
The continuation of our irrational thoughts, behaviors, and negative self-appraisal results from our inability or unwillingness to remedy the problem. Many experiencing social anxiety cling to a willful pursuit of ignorance, choosing to remain oblivious to SAD’s destructive capabilities as if, by ignoring them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
Taking responsibility for recovery is not a burden; it is an opportunity to alleviate the symptoms and traits that significantly impact our emotional well-being. It’s a chance to regain control and lead a more fulfilling life.
We can hold onto shame and guilt for having social anxiety, but they are false assumptions. The condition originates before we have the wherewithal to make an informed choice. Still, internal blaming remains prevalent.
Even when aware that we bear no responsibility for its origins, we tend to blame our behaviors on perceived character deficiencies and shortfalls rather than the symptoms of our disorder.
Social anxiety disorder thrives on adverse self-appraisal brought on by negative core and intermediate beliefs. Our symptoms prompt us to label ourselves as inadequate, incompetent, or unattractive.
Until we respond rationally to our fears and social avoidance, we resort to defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies designed to protect us from threats to our emotional well-being. We deny, avoid, or compensate rather than identify the problem. We rationalize our behaviors, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
The Static Versus Dynamic SAD Individual
The acronym SAD is highly appropriate. Experiencing social anxiety makes us unhappy. It saddens us.
I believe there are two distinctive types of individuals experiencing SAD: the Static and the Dynamic. The static SAD individual is immobilized, seemingly trapped in their distressing state, either unable or unwilling to break free. In stark contrast, Dynamic SAD individuals are in a constant state of flux, actively seeking ways to manage their condition and enhance their lives.
In his extensive examination of anxiety and depression, Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, posited that anxiety and depression generate feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness.
The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. These negative self-attributions make us feel undeserving of recovery.
Additionally, many motivated towards treatment indicate an inability to afford it due to SAD-induced financial and employment instability. The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety disorder in the U.S. is related to SAD-provoked job inefficiency and instability, greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and frequent job changes.
Individuals with SAD are more likely to be less educated, unmarried, and have lower socioeconomic status.
That being said, numerous discussion groups and recovery programs are available. ReChanneling offers scholarship support, and the weekly cost of the recovery program is less than the cost of a theatrical release and a box of popcorn.
The Dynamic SAD Individual
The Dynamic SAD individual is not resigned to their condition. Instead, we are actively engaged in our recovery, demonstrating resilience and determination. Here are some characteristics of the Dynamic SAD individual who inspires us with their courage and commitment to change.
The Dynamic SAD individual overcomes overwhelming hopelessness with renewed optimism, embracing possibility over the inconceivable. We subvert our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance, courage, and determination.
Our confidence makes us approachable, which mitigates any irrational sense of undesirability. We are aware of our value and significance.
The Dynamic SAD individual does not confront their fears; they embrace them. Instead of meeting them with hostility or competing with hubris, we willingly and enthusiastically acknowledge and accept them as challenges that we can resolve rationally.
Our experiences are, and always will be, part of our identity. Accepting them fosters self-love and paves the way for transformation.
Embracing our condition is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning; it is a genuine acceptance. It’s accepting who we are – imperfect beings with strengths, shortcomings, and vulnerabilities.
We embrace our totality, and in doing so, we enable ourselves to change. This acceptance is not about giving in; it’s about taking control and owning our destiny.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not just a problem-solver; we are creative thinkers. We are not just risk-takers; we are bungee jumpers. We are not just energetic; we are passionate. And we are not just self-empowered; we are the masters of our domain.
We are curious and adventurous because we have embarked on a journey of discovery. We have opened our minds to new concepts and perspectives. And we are flexible and adaptable because those are the qualities of someone who fearlessly challenges what may lie ahead.
We are Not Worthless
It’s important to remember that we are not worthless but integral and consequential to all things, distinctive in every aspect. There is no other like us. We are the totality of our experiences, beliefs, perceptions, demands, and desires with unique DNA, fingerprints, and outer ears.
There is and never has been a human being with our sensibilities, memories, motivations, and dreams. This uniqueness is what makes us valuable and significant.
We are not defined by our social anxiety disorder but by our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the discomfort of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition.
We are not our symptoms and traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of an annoying mental health condition. This understanding liberates us from the shackles of our condition, allowing us to live our lives independent of SAD with a sense of pride and satisfaction.
SAD sustains itself by inflicting anxiety and fear, but they have no power on their own. We fuel them; we give them authority. Social anxiety is not our fault, assuming we take steps to recover.
We control our emotional well-being and quality of life, and only we can compel change. The onus of recovery is on us.
We have the means to mitigate our symptoms dramatically, and not taking advantage of recovery is irrational. Our unwillingness to remedy the situation is the only legitimate cause for self-accusation.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Are We Repressing, Suppressing, Denying, or Regressing?
This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.
Our deeply ingrained negative self-appraisal, provoked by social anxiety, can be emotionally challenging for our minds to manage. To neutralize this, we develop defense mechanisms, unconscious strategies designed to protect us from threats to our emotional well-being.
We deny, avoid, or compensate rather than identify the problem. We rationalize ourthoughts and behaviors, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
Defense Mechanisms
When used as temporary safeguards, defense mechanisms provide an escape from situations that conflict with the self-image we create to sustain our mental stability. In fact, without defense mechanisms, we are susceptible to decompensation – a serious condition in which we are unable to cope with stress effectively, leading to a breakdown in our ability to function coherently.
Most defense mechanisms are healthy safeguards when dealing with transient trauma, but psychologically problematic when we persistently use them as strategies to avoid facing reality.
Recovery involves examining and analyzing how we exploit defense mechanisms to sustain our irrational thoughts and behaviors. By doing so, we become conscious of our escapisms and devise coping mechanisms to counteract them.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Six defense mechanisms are particularly pertinent to social anxiety: compensation (overachieving to conceal our feelings of inadequacy), denial (refusing to acknowledge a problem), displacement (taking our frustrations out on others), dissociation (mentally distancing ourselves from unmanageable situations), projection (attributing our defects to others), and the associated triad of repression, suppression, and regression.
It’s the last three that we focus on in this writing.
Many confuse repression with regression. Repression is a process where we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too challenging to handle. In psychology, repression refers to the process by which we prevent specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.
While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that continuing exposure can lead to enduring psychological issues. These self-concealed memories and emotions, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions.
For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might introduce us to specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.
These events can stir up anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression on our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Suppression
Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a deliberate choice to subdue painful thoughts and memories to deal with them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery, as it enables us to address and resolve the issues that have been temporarily suppressed.
Suppression and Dissociation
The distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is also essential to understand. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a deliberate decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition to address them dispassionately and objectively.
Understanding these nuances can provide a deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery, making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.
Repression and Denial
Repression is often confused with the defense mechanism, denial, in which we refuse to admit to unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even with evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth.
For example, a person in denial about their addiction may disacknowledge their problem despite clear evidence. Repression, on the other hand, involves unconscious mental dismissal. It’s like the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by temporarily pushing it out of conscious awareness.
Repression and Regression
We often conflate regression with repression. Regression is reverting to an earlier or less mature stage of psychological development, where we feel safe from emotional conflict. Repression is a psychological attempt to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires.
Both are psychological attempts to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a more severe psychological issue that requires specialized treatment, something a traditional recovery program does not adequately provide.
How do we identify the defense mechanisms we use to avoid dealing with our enduring or precipitating issues? We want to ask ourselves, are we repressing, suppressing, denying, or deliberately dissociating? The earlier stage of psychosexual development that identifies regression will require more specialized help.
It’s a bit like recognizing a familiar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain exactly how you know, but you do. Similarly, we learn to recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action.
This suggests, correctly, that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, comprehend, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. It’s important to note that during the recovery process, we learn specific coping skills that help reduce our mental and emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs aimed at (1) alleviating symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) helping individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
