The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
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Perfectionism and Unreasonable Expectations
Poor self-analysis compels us to overcompensate. Perfectionism is a byproduct of overcompensation. Perfectionism leads us to set unreasonable expectations.
None of us is perfect; we all have aspects we hide, fearing they may make us appear defective or inadequate. Ostensibly, we conceal these perceptual shortcomings or justify them through defense mechanisms such as repression and projection. Or we displace our anger, deny our faults, and rationalize our actions.
Living with persistent negative self-appraisal is emotionally destabilizing. People experiencing social anxiety crave connection with others, but fears of intimacy and rejection make it challenging to initiate, develop, and maintain healthy relationships. These insecurities compel us to create defense mechanisms to justify our avoidance.
Defense Mechanisms
Defense mechanisms are short-term psychological coping mechanisms that safeguard unresolved threats to our emotional well-being. They excuse the irrational thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that our conscious minds are currently unwilling or unable to manage.
Without coping mechanisms, healthy or otherwise, we risk decompensation—the inability or unwillingness to develop effective psychological alternatives to the symptoms of our condition, which can lead to personality disturbances or disintegration.
Nonetheless, defense mechanisms can be healthy tools for managing trauma and other distressful thoughts and behaviors until we are ready to resolve them.
Compensation
Compensation is a defense mechanism in which we overachieve in one area of our lives to compensate for perceived defects in another. For instance, someone who feels socially inadequate might become a performer, while a teenager may excel in sports to offset learning difficulties.
Compensation can be a powerful tool for personal growth when used appropriately. We counter negative thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with positive, productive ones. We compensate for low self-esteem by acknowledging our strengths, virtues, and achievements.
Overcompensation
Because we want to mitigate the pain of experiencing our condition as swiftly as possible, we overcompensate. We push the envelope. Overcompensation, especially when unconscious, often leads to adverse consequences such as burnout, strained relationships, and missed opportunities.
Moderation, as always, is the key.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Perfectionism
Overcompensation, a struggle many of us can relate to, often leads to the trap of perfectionism, which is not merely a desire to do well but a need to be flawless. Anything less feels unsatisfactory. Perfectionism is widespread among individuals experiencing social anxiety.
As perfectionists, we overreact when our expectations are unmet. We struggle to move forward when things do not go as planned. Research shows that individuals experiencing social anxiety have lower implicit and explicit self-esteem compared to healthy individuals. Perfectionists tend to experience higher levels of anxiety and lower levels of psychological well-being.
To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is catastrophic. We often engage in polarized thinking, viewing situations in extremes. Our colleagues are either for us or against us. The world is black or white, with no room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.
A Parallel Relationship
Perfectionism and social anxiety often go hand in hand.
Perfectionists and people with SAD tend to avoid situations that might lead to failure or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing something inappropriate, being criticized, or facing negative evaluations. These apprehensions only intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.
Our critical nature and fear of rejection often lead us to isolate ourselves, which affects our ability to connect with others and maintain satisfying relationships.
Our perfectionism drives us to set unreasonable expectations, such as performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and always being in control. These expectations are often impossible to achieve, resulting in further feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
Reasonable Expectations
An expectation is a strong emotional belief that something will happen in the future. When we set expectations, we become invested in the outcome. But what happens if our expectations are unmet? We psychologically attach ourselves to them because we have a stake in the result. In our minds, we perceive our expectations as happening. When things don’t go as planned, we typically respond with anger and disappointment.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Unmet Expectations
Disappointment is a powerful emotion. Experts describe the reaction to disappointment as a form of sadness – an expression of desperation or grief due to loss. While it’s true that we can’t lose what we never had, setting an unreasonable expectation makes it feel real, and we experience the loss intensely. This feeling can lead to depression, self-loathing, and symptoms associated with perfectionism and social anxiety.
How do we set reasonable expectations when our perfectionism demands the brass ring? It is human nature to aspire to excellence.
Determine Expectations Early On
Setting expectations carefully in advance allows us to plan strategies and coping mechanisms to help meet them. Expectations should be rational, reasonable, achievable, and constructive. For instance, an unreasonable expectation at a networking event would be to find the job of our dreams. On the other hand, a reasonable expectation could be to hand out our business card to a potential contact.
Going to a social event expecting to form a lasting relationship is also unrealistic. A more reasonable expectation would be to meet people who share similar interests.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up
No matter how reasonably we set them, our expectations will occasionally be partially or wholly unmet. We may need to modify them to accommodate the situation, more practice, or an extension of our planned timeframe.
Reasonable expectations require flexibility. While we control our reactions and responses to situations, we are subject to external factors over which we have no control. This is part of the learning process. By reframing our perspective, we learn to recognize the positive aspects of experience.
Be Mindful of Distorted Thinking
People experiencing social anxiety are highly susceptible to cognitive distortions and other defense mechanisms. Recognizing, understanding, and accepting the self-destructive nature of these and other defense mechanisms is essential to recovery. This can be achieved through therapy, self-reflection, and mindfulness practices.
We can only reasonably set expectations for ourselves. Setting expectations of others will result in frustration and disappointment because we have no control over their outcome. It is called self-esteem, not other-esteem. We only have jurisdiction over subjective expectations.
Self-Appreciation
Self-appreciation is recognizing and enjoying our qualities and achievements. For every positive attempt or interaction, congratulate yourself. You deserve to experience the pride and satisfaction that accompany such efforts fully. Always be kind to yourself.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. If we are foolishly determined to fly, our wings will melt and hurl us back to earth. Reasonable expectations will keep us on the ground.
Recovery is a life’s work in progress. There is no absolute cure for social anxiety, no magic pill, but by practicing recovery tools over time, we experience an exponential and dramatic moderation of our symptoms. The key is always progress over perfection.
Perfectionism is a byproduct of overcompensation. Perfectionism leads us to set unreasonable expectations.
Reasonable expectations align our projections with the probability of success.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, regardless of its size, supports individuals who strive to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
___________________________
Positive Psychology Waves in Recovery
There are two distinct but potentially complementary methods of psychological healthcare. The “wellness model” and the pathographic or “disease model,” which remains the current predominant approach. Its clinical, impersonal methodology focuses on the biological and neurological origins of mental well-being, emphasizing the disease rather than the individual.
To balance this myopic perspective, we need to incorporate the more empathetic, personalized approach of the wellness model.
The wellness model seeks to balance the disease model’s myopic perspective by considering the individuals’ assets. Such as their character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. This model recognizes that a person’s condition is not simply a collection of negative traits. But rather a dynamic expression of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that reflect their emotional, mental, and moral character, and subsequent mental health.
The disease model, often viewed as defect-oriented, sharply contrasts with the asset-oriented wellness model. Essentially, the disease model of mental health concentrates on identifying what is wrong with us. While the wellness model emphasizes what is right about us.
A coalescence of both approaches is the ideal solution.
Humanistic Psychology
Positive psychology (PP) serves as the cornerstone of the wellness model. It has its roots in humanistic psychology. Supported by early influential figures such as Emerson, Thoreau, Carl Rogers, and Abraham Maslow. Pioneers of current positive psychology include Martin Seligman, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Carol Ryff, and Paul Wong.
Positive psychology provides essential elements for recovery from social anxiety and related conditions.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Humanistic Psychology
Humanistic psychology emphasizes the whole individual, stressing concepts such as free will, self-efficacy, and self-actualization. This approach fosters a holistic understanding of an individual, enabling them to live authentic and meaningful lives. It reminds us that we are not merely a collection of symptoms. But complex, unique individuals with the potential for growth and self-fulfillment, underlining the value of our individuality.
From Maslow to Seligman
Abraham Maslow first coined the term “positive psychology” in his 1954 seminal work, Motivation and Personality. He argued that psychology’s focus on disorder and dysfunction fails to capture human potential adequately. Maslow categorized human needs into five levels: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization. He later expanded this hierarchy to include cognitive, aesthetic, and transcendence needs. Maslow’s hierarchy illustrates the importance of satisfying each level for psychological well-being and how each level influences the others.
Several decades later, Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyiintroduced the concept of optimal human functioning, which became the foundation of positive psychology. Seligman legitimized this field during his presidency of the American Psychological Association in 1998.
Interestingly, this development coincided with the publication of the 1984 fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (APA, 2014), which officially replaced the term “social phobia” with “social anxiety disorder (SAD).” The manual defined SAD as a “marked and persistent fear of one or more social or performance situations in which the person is exposed to unfamiliar people or possible scrutiny by others.” This historical context laid the foundation for the common characteristics and traits associated with social anxiety disorder.
Positive Psychology Interventions
Research by Chakhssi et al. (2018) has shown that positive psychology interventions can improve well-being and decrease psychological distress in individuals with mild depression, mood disorders, and even psychotic disorders. Studies support the use of positive psychological constructs, theories, and interventions to better understand and improve mental health.
Intervention research has tested various approaches to promoting well-being. A recent study found that positive psychology interventions resulted in “significant improvements in mental well-being (from non-flourishing to flourishing mental health) while also decreasing both anxiety and depressive symptom severity” (Schotanus-Dijkstra et al., 2018).
Continuing research suggests that a positive psychological outlook can directly improve life outcomes and enhance health. A meta-analysis by Sin and Lyubomirsky (2009) of 51 studies involving 4,266 individuals demonstrated that positive psychology interventions significantly enhance well-being and decrease depressive symptoms.
The academic discipline of positive psychology continues to develop evidence-based interventions that foster positive feelings, thoughts, or behaviors. The aforementioned study by Chakhssi et al. (2018) indicated that positive psychology interventions “decreased psychological distress in individuals with mood and depressive disorders and in patients with psychotic disorders, improving quality of life and well-being.”
Positive psychology presents promising strategies “to support recovery in people with common mental illnesses, and preliminary evidence suggests it can also be beneficial for those with more severe mental conditions” (Schrank et al., 2014).
The positive psychology perspective asserts that individuals with a mental disorder can lead satisfying and fulfilling lives, regardless of the symptoms or impairments associated with their diagnosis (Slade, 2010). Positive psychology aims “to emphasize the positive while managing and transforming the negative to increase well-being.”
By focusing on enhancing well-being and optimal functioning in addition to alleviating symptoms, the positive psychology movement seeks to destigmatize mental illness. Positive psychologists believe that the positive psychology perspective is essential to contemporary research to complement the long tradition of pathogen orientation.
1. Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
2. Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
3. Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Positive Psychology
Positive psychology works through three sequential waves or aspects to address these recovery objectives. By focusing on our character strengths, positive psychology helps regenerate our self-esteem, undermined by social anxiety’s adverse self-appraisal. Additionally, it activates proactive neuroplasticity—the deliberate, repetitive input of positive information— to counterbalance the negative information stemming from core beliefs and assumptions related to our condition.
Positive psychology is called the science of optimal functioning. Its objective is to identify the strengths, virtues, and attributes necessary for individuals and society to live productive lives. Optimal functioning involves striving to reach our full potential and not just enduring life but flourishing in it.
Positive psychology began as a methodology that complements and supports traditional psychology rather than replacing it. Today, it is an umbrella term encompassing research on positive emotions and related topics. Such as creativity, optimism, resilience, empathy, compassion, humor, and emotional well-being. As a powerful tool for self-empowerment, positive psychology helps us reclaim our positive identity and understand our inherent strengths.
One of the first steps in our recovery journey is to identify these strengths and attributes that social anxiety may have obscured. A significant limitation of early positive psychology was its tendency to prioritize positive qualities. While overlooking the negative or real-world aspects of the human condition.
Positive Psychology 2.0
Recognizing the need for balance, psychologists advocated for a more holistic approach to well-being. Positive Psychology 2.0 emerged as a response to the previous singular focus on optimism, incorporating both positive and negative aspects of the holistic individual. Such an approach demonstrates the dialectical nature of human thought and behavior, recognizing that we possess both assets and flaws. This balanced self-awareness is essential for healing and growth, promoting a sense of equilibrium and a deeper understanding of our motivations.
Optimal human functioning is not solely about positivity. It involves living a balanced and meaningful life that fully engages both our positive and negative dimensions.
Positive Psychology 2.0 plays a crucial role in identifying and addressing the irrational fears and anxieties that contribute to negative self-appraisal, which can lead to the formation of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). This process encourages us to respond to these thoughts with rationality, transforming them into opportunities for personal growth and change.
Positive Psychology 3.0
The third wave of positive psychology, PP 3.0 fosters a sense of community and belonging by broadening the focus of research and practice beyond the individual. It encompasses relationships, groups, organizations, and societies, exploring how our character and values reflect and contribute to the communities we are part of.
This third wave of development supports our reintegration into society by equipping us with tools and strategies for navigating transitions. Being mindful of our value and significance, enhanced by improved self-esteem, motivates us to pay it forward by supporting others, thereby strengthening our sense of connection.
In summary, Positive Psychology 1.0 focused on our character strengths, virtues, and attributes, serving as a powerful tool in early recovery. By recognizing and emphasizing our positive qualities, we counteract the abundance of neural negativity and adverse self-appraisal. This process helps us rediscover and prioritize our strengths, virtues, and achievements rather than our negative traits.
Recovery involves not only recognizing our strengths and virtues but also acknowledging our shortcomings. This balanced perspective is essential for healing and moving forward. The recovery process entails learning to identify the irrational fears and anxieties that drive our thoughts and behaviors, which contribute to the establishment of automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). Positive Psychology 2.0 provides the tools we need to navigate these challenges effectively.
Positive psychology 3.0 has expanded the focus of research and practice from just the individual to include relationships, groups, communities, organizations, and societies. This shift emphasizes how we can reintegrate into and contribute to our communities.
Self-esteem is a crucial aspect of our recovery. It embodies an empowering awareness of our qualities and character, including our imperfections. It involves not only how we perceive ourselves but also how we believe others perceive us and how we process that information. A healthy level of self-esteem reassures us of our worth and significance, empowering us to navigate our recovery journey with confidence and capability.
As we develop a renewed awareness of ourselves, we cultivate self-compassion and self-appreciation. Recognizing our unique contributions inspires and motivates us to share them with others. Interconnectedness is not just a natural progression of self-esteem. It’s a vital one that fosters a sense of caring and empathy, demonstrating the positive outcomes of recovery.
Positive psychology plays a significant role in our recovery journey. It goes beyond self-care; it’s about understanding our worth and potential while championing these beliefs in others. This moral evolution is a natural part of recovery, and positive psychology is a critical force in this process.
It’s essential to recognize that positive psychology is just one component of an effective recovery program. A comprehensive plan that incorporates closely related approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, active and proactive neuroplasticity, recovery-oriented cognitive therapy, schema therapy, cognitive-behavioral modification, acceptance and commitment therapy, rational emotive behavior therapy, and gradual exposure therapy, provides the necessary support for a well-rounded recovery program.
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APA. American Psychiatric Association. (1984). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th ed.).American Psychiatric Association. Washington, DC.
Chakhssi, F., Kraiss, J.T., Sommers-Spijkerman, M. et al. (2018). The effect of positive psychology interventions on well-being and distress in clinical samples with psychiatric or somatic disorders: a systematic review and meta-analysis. BMC Psychiatry 18, 211 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1739-2
Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality. Harper, New York City
Schotanus-Dijkstra, M., Drossaert, C.H.C., Pieterse, M.E. et al. (2018) Towards sustainable mental health promotion: trial-based health-economic evaluation of a positive psychology intervention versus usual care. BMC Psychiatry 18, 265 (2018). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1825-5
Schrank B, Brownell T, Tylee A, Slade M. (2014). Positive psychology: an approach to supporting recovery in mental illness. East Asian Arch Psychiatry. 2014 Sep;24(3):95-103. PMID: 25316800.
Sin, N. L., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2009). Enhancing well-being and alleviating depressive symptoms with positive psychology interventions: A practice-friendly meta-analysis. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 65(5), 467–487. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.20593
Slade, M. (2010) Mental illness and well-being: the central importance of positive psychology and recovery approaches. BMC Health Serv Res 10, 26 (2010). https://doi.org/10.1186/1472-6963-10-26
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, regardless of its size, supports individuals who strive to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The primary distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder lies in the severity of symptoms. Not everyone is affected in the same way, as the intensity and persistence of symptoms vary widely from person to person. Although the characteristics and traits of these conditions may appear similar across individuals, each person’s experience is shaped by a unique combination of environment, life experiences, and the diversity of human thought and behavior.
Additionally, it is important to recognize that comorbidities—other mental health conditions that occur alongside social anxiety—are highly prevalent. This prevalence underscores the complexity of these anxiety disorders. As such, effective recovery strategies must address not only social anxiety but also its related conditions. Throughout this book, when recovery methods are discussed for social anxiety, social phobia, and social anxiety disorder, they are intended to apply to all three.
____________________________________________
___________________________________________
Before getting to the main topic of this post, I would like to address a question I frequently receive from our readers. Why, in the subheading, do we emphasize social anxiety’s related conditions?
There is a high degree of comorbidity between social anxiety and other mental health problems, most notably depression and substance abuse. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America and other experts include many emotional and mental disorders related to, components of, or consequences of social anxiety disorder, including avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, eating disorders, OCD, and schizophrenia. I have seen statistics showing that 25% to 70% of people experiencing social anxiety also have depression and substance abuse problems.
A comprehensive treatment program must not only address the symptoms of social anxiety but also any related conditions that impact an individual’s recovery.
Dealing with Loss in Recovery
The three primary objectives in recovery from social anxiety are to:
Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through redeployment of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Replace, offset, or overwhelm our irrational thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Each objective in recovery is achieved by replacement. To replace is to put something or someone in the place of another. Consequently, we experience the loss of that which has been replaced.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experience. Each time we register new information—meaning our brain notices or detects it—our neural network realigns and restructures. This ongoing process leads to significant changes in our behavior and perspective.
Through neuroplasticity, we change the form and configuration of our neural network. Our brains are not fixed entities; they constantly adapt and evolve in response to new information. They gain and lose synapses, promote neurogenesis, and rewire circuits.
We experience a renewed sense of self as well as a feeling of emptiness and longing for what we have replaced or unlearned.
We usually think of loss in the broader sense—that of a job, home, or a loved one. In recovery from social anxiety, the primary loss is of irrational thoughts and behaviors. The empowerment we gain from our new mindsets compensates for this loss. Still, we experience a sense of missing elements of our personalities to which we have been attached, sometimes for decades.
The loss can be a disturbing experience – one whose subtlety does not usually reach the severity of trauma but is subconsciously present just the same. Trauma may occur if the replacement of certain habits, such as substance abuse, causes an intense emotional and physiological reaction. The loss of adverse habits alone can generate a vacuum that can moderately impact the emotional well-being of someone who is depressive or anxious.
Awareness of this factor is essential to recovery.
Replacement Creates Loss
Through treatment for social anxiety and related conditions, we mitigate our destructive thoughts and behaviors by replacing them with healthier alternatives. Notwithstanding, we still experience the residual effects of those thoughts and behaviors that permeated our neural network for years.
There is a weaning process that occurs when we modify or replace ingrained habits.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Hardwired Resistance to Change
We are genetically hardwired to resist change and physiologically structured to attack anything that disrupts our status quo. Our bodies and minds naturally resist change, as it disrupts our sense of balance and stability.
Experiencing loss can alter our heart rate, metabolism, and respiration. Physiological inertia senses and resists these changes, while our basal ganglia, involved in processes such as emotions, motivations, and habits, oppose any modification of our patterns of thought and behavior.
Neurological Impact
Our neural network, the complex web of interconnected neurons in our brain, doesn’t distinguish between healthy and toxic information. It responds identically to all registered stimuli. It activates the same long-term potentiation. A process that strengthens the connection between neurons and provides the same BDNF proteins associated with improved cognitive functioning.
It also releases the same chemical hormones that support us physiologically and psychologically. This activity means that the loss we experience can have a subtle negative impact on our brain, leading to confusion, depression, guilt, and withdrawal. Understanding this neurological impact can help us navigate the recovery process more effectively.
It is human nature to experience and regret the loss of things that have been part and parcel of our being. It is prudent to be mindful of this loss because it can affect our minds, bodies, emotions, and dispositions. In early recovery, this can be problematic if not understood and anticipated. There is continuing potential for recidivism.
However, with the awareness of the inevitability of loss, no matter how seemingly inconsequential, we can help circumvent recidivism and feel more in control of our recovery journey. This understanding is essential to the recovery process, as it allows us to acknowledge and manage those feelings of loss that will inevitably arise.
Awareness and preparedness can effectively moderate adverse reactions.
As the godfather of positive psychology, Abraham Maslow, assures us, “…the loss of illusions and the discovery of identity, though painful at first, can be ultimately exhilarating and strengthening.”
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
All of us who keep ReChanneling running smoothly would like to wish our subscribers, clients, colleagues, and friends a healthy and productive 2026.
Some updates for the new year.
We are still in the process of finalizing, with the publisher, the editing of our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety. Accounting for the average schedule to edit and get to print, we hope to make this book available sometime in the early spring.
Upcoming Workshops, Updates, and Scholarships
Group and Workshop Opportunities
Once the book is published, we will once again offer groups and recovery workshops specifically designed for individuals dealing with social anxiety and its comorbidities. Our commitment includes continuing online support groups and workshops. We are also considering reinstating site workshops to be held in the San Francisco Bay Area.
If your group or organization is interested in sponsoring a seminar or workshop outside the Bay Area, we are eager to collaborate and bring our programs to your location.
Weekly Updates ad Posts
We also plan to resume our regular schedule of weekly updates and posts, keeping everyone informed and engaged with the latest news and resources.
Scholarship Fund Growth
Finally, we are pleased to announce that our scholarship funds have now grown to $4,575.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The Importance of Journaling in the Recovery Process
The following information is well covered in our upcoming book.
Keeping a written or electronic journal plays a crucial role in the recovery journey. Journaling is much more than simply jotting down random thoughts or notes—it is a thoughtful and intentional practice that encourages both personal growth and self-reflection. Journaling helps us broaden our self-awareness through regular reflection and honest expression.
By recording our experiences and examining how our condition affects us personally, we can shape our own story and actively participate in our healing process.
How Journaling Impacts the Brain
Scientific studies have shown that journaling activates several vital areas of the brain. One of these is the prefrontal cortex, which governs rational thinking and decision-making. Journaling also influences the limbic system, a central region that helps manage our emotions.
Journaling contributes to the rewiring of our neural pathways—a process known as neuroplasticity. This change is fundamental to recovery because it helps establish healthier patterns of thought and behavior.
Writing provides a safe and dependable outlet for complete self-expression. It allows us to communicate our thoughts and feelings without fear of interruption or criticism, creating a private space to explore and understand ourselves more deeply.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Other Benefits of Journaling
Physical Benefits
Journaling offers a range of physical health benefits. For instance, writing before bedtime can help us fall asleep more quickly. By focusing on worries or creating a to-do list, we may improve the overall quality of our sleep experience.
Studies have also found that writing and gratitude journaling can strengthen our body’s immune function.
Additionally, research links journaling to improved overall physical and mental wellness, with enhanced physical functioning observed among medical populations.
Mental Benefits
Journaling can be a powerful tool for managing mental health. Expressive writing, for example, is shown to effectively reduce symptoms of depression.
Journaling can also alleviate symptoms of anxiety, especially through “positive affect journaling,” which focuses on positive emotions.
Certain journaling practices have been shown to help reduce stress. One study found that burnout and compassion fatigue rates decreased significantly among nurses who participated in a series of journaling classes.
Narrative writing, which involves writing about traumatic events, has been shown to reduce symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Journaling can also help us develop self-distance—the ability to reflect on past events and emotions as an objective observer. This skill reduces emotional reactivity and physical distress.
The act of writing about experiences and reflecting on them has proven helpful in mental health settings, facilitating recovery and improving self-awareness.
Journaling can boost emotional intelligence by increasing our awareness of personal emotions and feelings, whether we are in therapy or journaling independently.
A specific method called “reflective practice journaling” (RPJ) has been linked to improved self-confidence, self-knowledge, and coping skills, especially among nursing students.
Classroom journaling and expressive writing have also contributed to greater self-efficacy and a stronger sense of self-control, fostering personal growth.
Academic Benefits
Journaling can enhance academic performance in several ways. Reflective journaling has been shown to improve critical thinking skills in both nursing faculty and students.
Journaling as a meditative activity can inspire creativity, boost personal growth, and increase emotional awareness.
When journaling includes writing down goals, it may help increase our chances of achieving them, as found in multiple studies.
If our journaling practice combines drawing with writing, we may experience better recall of events compared to writing alone, according to a 2022 report.
Finally, a 2022 study found that regular journaling helps improve study habits, prioritize tasks, and boost overall productivity, thereby strengthening academic performance.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals who are uneasy in group settings. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
For each new subscriber, ReChanneling donates $25 for workshop scholarships.
Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships: AI Generated: Relationships
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
I recognize that I have fallen behind on my weekly posts. We have been finalizing editing of our upcoming book, A Survivor’s Common-Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, which goes to the publisher next week. Accounting for the average four-month schedule to get to print, we hope to make this book available sometime in the spring.
Social Anxiety’s Failure to Establish, Develop, and Maintain Healthy Relationships. Part I
From C.-H. Mayer and E. Vanderheiden (eds), International Handbook of Love. Springer Nature Switzerland, 2025. 10.1007/978-3-031-76665-7_59-1
Abstract
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is one of the most common psycho-physiological malfunctions. Affecting the emotional and mental well-being of over 15 million US adults who find themselves caught up in a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations. These observations provide insights into the relationship deficits experienced by people with SAD. Their innate need for intimacy is just as dynamic as that of any individual. Still, their impairment disrupts the ability (means of acquisition) to establish affectionate bonds in almost any capacity. The spirit is willing, but competence is insubstantial. The means of acquisition and how SAD symptomatically disrupts them are the context of this research.
Notwithstanding overwhelming evidence of social incompatibility, there is hope for the startlingly few SAD individuals who commit to recovery. Integrating positive psychology’s optimum human functioning with CBT’s behavior modification, neuroscience’s network restructuring, and other supported and non-traditional approaches can establish a working platform for discovery, opening the bridge to procuring forms of intimacy previously inaccessible.
Keywords: Love -Social anxiety disorder -Intimacy –Philautia -Relationships
Social Anxiety Disorder
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Social anxiety disorder (SAD) is the second most commonly diagnosed form of anxiety in the United States (MHA, 2019). The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA, 2019a) estimates that roughly 15 million (7%) American adults currently experience its symptoms. Ritchie and Roser (2018) report 284 million SAD persons, worldwide, and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH, 2017) reports that 31.1% of US adults experience some anxiety disorder at some time in their lives. Global statistics are subject to “differences in the classification criteria, culture, and gender” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014) and “in the instruments used to ascertain diagnosis” (NCCMH, 2013).
Studies in other Western nations (e.g., Australia, Canada, Sweden) note similar prevalence rates as in the USA. As do those in culturally westernized nations such as Israel. Even countries with strikingly different cultures (e.g., Iran) note evidence of social anxiety disorder (albeit at lower rates) among their populace. (Stein & Stein, 2008)
SAD is the most common psychiatric disorder in the United States after major depression and alcohol abuse (Heshmat, 2014). It is also arguably the most underrated and misunderstood. A “debilitating and chronic” psychophysiological affliction (Castella et al., 2014), SAD “wreaks havoc on the lives of those who suffer from it” (ADAA, 2019a).
SAD attacks all fronts, negatively affecting the entire body complex, delivering mental confusion (Mayoclinic,2017b), emotional instability (Castella et al., 2014; Yeilding, 2017), physical dysfunction (NIMH, 2017; Richards, 2019), and spiritual malaise. Emotionally, persons experiencing SAD feel depressed and lonely (Jazaieri et al., 2015). Physically, they are subject to unwarranted sweating and trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, cramps, dizziness, and muscle spasms (ADAA, 2019a; NIMH, 2017). Mentally, thoughts are discordant and irrational (Felman, 2018; Richards, 2014). Spiritually, they define themselves as inadequate and insignificant (Beck, 2021).
The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that 9.1% of adolescents experience social anxiety disorder, and 1.3% have severe impairment (NIMH, 2017). The onset of SAD is generally considered “to take place between the middle and late teens” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). Like other pathogens, SAD can remain dormant for years before symptoms materialize. Any number of situations or events trigger the initial contact. It may be hereditary, environmental, or the result of some traumatic experience.
SAD is randomly misdiagnosed (Richards,2019), and the low commitment to recovery (Shelton, 2018) suggests a reticence by those infected to recognize and/or challenge their malfunction. Roughly 5% of SAD individuals commit to early recovery, reflective of symptoms that manifest maladaptive self-beliefs of insignificance and futility. Grant et al. (2005) speculate that “about half of adults with the disorder seek treatment,” but that is after 15–20 years of experiencing the condition (Ades & Dias, 2013).
Resistance to new ideas and concepts transcends those of other emotional malfunctions and is justified by:
General public cynicism
Self-contempt by the afflicted, generated by maladaptive self-appraisal
Ignorance or ineptitude of mental health professionals
Real or perceived social stigma
The natural physiological aversion to change
Many motivated toward recovery are unable to afford treatment due to SAD-induced “impairments in financial and employment stability” (Gregory et al., 2018). The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety disorder in the United States is related to “job inefficiency and instability” (Felman, 2018), greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and/or frequent job changes. “More than 70% of social anxiety disorder patients are in the lowest economic group” (Nardi, 2003).
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
According to leading experts, the high percentage of SAD misdiagnoses is due to “substantial discrepancies and variation in definition, epidemiology, assessment, and treatment” (Nagata et al.,2015). The Social Anxiety Institute (Richards, 2019) reports that among patients with generalized anxiety, an estimated 8.2% had the condition, but just 0.5% were correctly diagnosed.
Social anxiety disorder is a pathological form of everyday anxiety. The clinical term “disorder” identifies extreme or excessive impairment that negatively affects functionality. Feeling anxious or apprehensive in certain situations is normal. Most individuals are nervous speaking in front of a group and anxious when pulled over on the freeway. The typical individual recognizes the ordinariness of a situation and accords it appropriate attention. The SAD person anticipates it, takes it personally, dramatizes it, and obsesses on its negative implications (Richards, 2014).
SAD’s culture of maladaptive self-beliefs (Ritter et al.,2013) and negative self-evaluations (Castella et al., 2014) aggravate anxiety and impede social performance (Hulme et al., 2012). “Patients with SAD often believe they lack the necessary social skills to interact normally with others” (Gaudiano & Herbert, 2003). Maladaptive self-beliefs are distorted reflections of a condition or situation, often accepted as accurate.
Maladaptive means we do not adapt to certain fears, thus amplifying our distress. The co-founder of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), Aaron Beck, provides three types of maladaptive self-beliefs responsible for persistent social anxiety. Core beliefs are enduring fundamental understandings, often formed in childhood and solidified over time. Because SAD persons “tend to store information consistent with negative beliefs but ignore evidence that contradicts them, [their] core beliefs tend to be rigid and pervasive” (Beck, 2011).
Automatic negative thoughts are immediate, involuntary, anxiety-provoking thoughts, emotions, and images that occur in anticipation of or reaction to a feared situation. They are the unpleasant, self-defeating expressions of our negative self-appraisal that define who we think we are, who we think others think we are, and how we express our fears and anxieties. They are borne of our negative and intermediate core beliefs and the onset of our disorder:
Negative self-images reported by patients with social anxiety disorder reflect a working self that is retrieved in response to social threat and which is characterised by low self-esteem, uncertainty about the self, and fear of negative evaluation by others. (Hulme et al.,2012)
Halloran and Kashima (2006) define culture as “an interrelated set of values, tools, and practices that is shared among a group of people who possess a common social identity.” As the third largest mental healthcare problem in the world (Richards, 2019), social anxiety disorder is culturally identifiable by the victims’ “marked and persistent fear of social and performance situations in which embarrassment may occur” and the anticipation that “others will judge [them] to be anxious, weak, crazy, or stupid” (APA, 2017).
Although studies evidence “culture-specific expression of social anxiety” (Hoffman et al., 2010), SAD “is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in almost all areas of a person’s life” (Richards, 2019). SAD affects the “perceptual, cognitive, personality, and social processes” of the afflicted, who find themselves caught up in “a densely interconnected network of fear and avoidance of social situations” (Heeren & McNally, 2018).
Often, mere functionality in perfunctory situations—eating in front of others, riding a bus, and using a public restroom—can be unduly stressful (ADAA, 2019a; Mayoclinic, 2017b). This overriding fear of being found wanting manifests in perspectives of incompetence and worthlessness (Richards, 2019).
SAD individuals are unduly concerned that they will say something that will reveal their ignorance, whether perceptual or otherwise (Ades & Dias, 2013). They walk on eggshells, supremely conscious of their awkwardness, surrendering to the gaze—the anxious state of mind that comes with the maladaptive self-belief they are the center of attention (Felman, 2018; Lacan, 1978). Their movements can appear hesitant and awkward, small talk clumsy, attempts at humor embarrassing, and every situation reactive to negative self-evaluation (ADAA, 2019a; Bosche, 2019).
Persons experiencing SAD are apprehensive of potential “negative evaluation by others” (Hulme et al.,2012), concerned about “the visibility of anxiety, and preoccupation with performance or arousal” (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). SAD persons frequently generate images of themselves performing poorly in feared social situations (Hirsch & Clark, 2004; Hulme et al., 2012), and their anticipation of repudiation motivates them to dismiss overtures to offset any possibility of rejection (Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014).
SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing irrational thought and behavior (Richards, 2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010). It establishes its authority through its subjects’ defeatist measures produced by distorted and unsound interpretations of actuality that govern perspectives of personal attractiveness, intelligence, competence, and other errant beliefs (Ades & Dias, 2013). SAD individuals:
crave the company of others but shun social situations for fear of being found out as unlikeable, stupid, or annoying. Accordingly, they avoid speaking in public, expressing opinions, or even fraternizing with peers … People with social anxiety disorder are typified by low self-esteem and high self-criticism. (Stein & Stein, 2008)
Anxiety and related disorders are branches of the same tree. “There is a significant degree of comorbidity between social anxiety disorder and other mental health problems, most notably depression (19%), substance-abuse disorder (17%), GAD [generalized anxiety disorder] (5%), panic disorder (6%), and PTSD (3%)” (Tsitsas & Paschali,2014).
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA, 2019a) includes many emotional and mental disorders related to, components of, or a consequence of social anxiety disorder, including avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and schizophrenia.
While there is less evidence of strong comorbidity with most personality disorders, there are symptomatic similarities. Personality disorders involve long-term patterns of thoughts and behaviors that are unhealthy and inflexible. “The behaviors cause serious problems with relationships and work. People with personality disorders have trouble dealing with everyday stresses and problems” (UNLM,2018).
Personality reflects deep-seated patterns of behavior affecting how individuals “perceive, relate to, and think about themselves and their world” (HPD,2019). A personality disorder denotes a “rigid and unhealthy pattern[s] of thinking, functioning and behaving,” which potentially leads to “significant problems and limitations in relationships, social activities, work and school” (Castella et al., 2014).
A recent article in Scientific American speculates that “mental illnesses are so common that almost everyone will develop at least one diagnosable mental disorder at some point in their life” (Reuben & Schaefer, 2017).
SAD and Interpersonal Love
In unambiguous terms, the desire for love is at the heart of social anxiety disorder (Alden et al., 2018). Interpersonal love relates to communications or relationships of love between or among people. The diagnostic criteria for SAD, outlined in the DSM-V (APA, 2017), include “Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others.”
SAD persons find it difficult to establish close, productive relationships (Castella et al., 2014; Fatima et al., 2018). Their avoidance of social activities limits the potential for comradeship (Desnoyers et al., 2017; Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014), and their inability to interact rationally and productively (Richards, 2014; Zimmerman et al., 2010) makes long-term, healthy relationships unlikely. SAD persons frequently demonstrate significant impairments in friendships and intimate relationships (Castella et al., 2014). According to Whitbourne (2018), SAD persons’:
avoidance of other people puts them at risk of feeling lonely, having fewer friendships, and being unable to take advantage of the enjoyment of being with people who share their hobbies and interests.
There is a death of research directly investigating the relationship between SAD and interpersonal love (Montesi et al.,2013; Read et al., 2018). A study on friendship quality and social anxiety by Rodebaugh et al. (2015) notes the lack of relative quality studies, and Alden et al. (2018) report on the lack of attention paid to the SAD person’s inability or refusal to function in close relationships. The few existing studies report that the SAD person exhibits inhibited social behavior, shyness, lack of assertion in group conversations, and feelings of inadequacy while in social situations (Darcy et al., 2005).
This dominant culture of maladaptive self-beliefs results in the tendency to avoid new people and experiences, making the development of “adequate and close relationships (e.g., family, friends, and romantic relationships)” extremely challenging (Cuming & Rapee, 2010). Experiencing social anxiety disorder translates to less trust and perceived support from close interpersonal relationships (Topaz, 2018).
Although intimately related, the desire for love and the means of acquisition are binary operations. Most forms of interpersonal love require the successful collaboration of wanting and obtaining. The desire for love is the non-consummatory component of Freud’s eros life instinct (Abel-Hirsch,2010). The means of acquisition are the methods and skills required to complete the transaction. Techniques that vary depending upon the type of love.
Let us visualize love as a bridge, with desire (thought) at one end and acquisition at the other. The span is the means of acquisition (behavior). The SAD person cannot get from one side to the other because the means of acquisition are structurally deficient (Desnoyers et al., 2017; Tsitsas & Paschali, 2014). They grasp the fundamental concepts of interpersonal love and are presented with opportunities. But lack the skills to close the deal. Painfully aware of the tools of acquisition, they cannot seem to operate them.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy purposed for SAD is typically conceptualized as a short-term, skills-oriented approach aimed at exploring relationships among a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors while changing the culture of maladaptive self-beliefs into productive, rational thought and behavior (Richards,2019). CBT focuses on “developing more helpful and balanced perspectives of oneself and social interactions while learning and practicing approaching one’s feared and avoided social situations over time” (Yeilding, 2017).
Almost 90% of the approaches empirically supported by the “American Psychological Association’s Division 12 Task Force on Psychological Interventions” involve cognitive-behavioral treatments, according to Lyford (2017). “Individuals who undergo CBT show changes in brain activity, suggesting that this therapy improves your brain functioning as well” (NAMI, 2019).
Recent meta-analytic evidence suggests that CBT as an effective treatment for SAD compares favorably with other psychological and pharmacological treatment programs (Cuijpers et al.,2016). However, there is no guarantee of success, and standard CBT is imperfect (David et al., 2018). The best outcome someone experiencing SAD can hope for is the dramatic mitigation of symptoms through thought and behavior modification. And the simultaneous restructuring of the neural network, along with other supported and non-traditional treatments:
‘[M]any patients, although being under drug therapy, remain symptomatic and have a recurrence of symptoms,’ according to the Brazilian Journal of Psychiatry. ‘40–50% are better, but still symptomatic, and 20–30% remain the same or worse.’ (Manfro et al.,2008)
Behavioral and cognitive treatments are globally proven methodologies. Multiple associations worldwide are “devoted to research, education, and training in cognitive and behavioral therapies” (McGinn, 2019). CBT Conferences (2019) are offered across the globe, “where knowledge transfer takes place through debates, round table discussions, poster presentations, workshops, symposia, and exhibitions.” David et al. (2018) credit CBT as the best standard currently available for the following reasons:
(1) CBT is the most researched form of psychotherapy. (2) No other form of psychotherapy is systematically superior to CBT in the treatment of anxiety, depression, and other disorders. If there are systematic differences between psychotherapies, they typically favor CBT. (3) Moreover, the CBT theoretical models/mechanisms of change have been the most researched and are in line with the current mainstream paradigms of the human mind and behavior (e.g., information processing).
The Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies (ABCT) is “a worldwide humanitarian organization” fostering the “dissemination of evidence-based prevention and treatments through collaborations with the World Health Organization (WHO) and the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO)” (McGinn,2019). The World Confederation of Cognitive and Behavioural Therapies (WCCBT) is a global multidisciplinary organization promoting health and well-being through the scientific development and implementation of “evidence-based cognitive-behavioral strategies designed to evaluate, prevent, and treat mental conditions and illnesses” (ACBT, 2019).
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is arguably the gold standard of the psychotherapy field. David et al.(2018) maintain “There are no other psychological treatments with more research support to validate.” Studies of CBT have shown it to be an effective treatment for a wide variety of mental illnesses. Including depression, SAD, generalized anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, eating disorders, PTSD, OCD, panic disorder, and schizophrenia (Kaczkurkin & Foa, 2015; NAMI, 2019). However, David et al. (2018) suggest if the gold standard of psychotherapy defines itself as the best in the field, then CBT is not the gold standard. There is clearly room for further improvement, “both in terms of CBT’s efficacy/effectiveness and its underlying theories/mechanisms of change.”
The fault, however, does not lie with the methodology but with the abundance of therapists who believe that CBT is the golden panacea for all recovery. When the diversity of human thought and experience demands a collaboration of science, philosophy, and psychology. And philosophy, existentially defined, welcomes religious and spiritual insight.
A coalescence of science and east-west psychologies is essential to capture the diversity of human thought and experience. Science gives us proactive and active neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral self-modification, and positive psychology’s three waves of optimal functioning, which are Western-oriented. Eastern practices provide the therapeutic benefits of Abhidharma psychology and the overarching truths of ethical behavior. Individual targeted approaches and scales that focus on regenerating our self-esteem are crucial to recovery.
In her therapeutic sessions, CBT specialist Judith Beck (2021) incorporates techniques from acceptance and commitment therapy, compassion-focused psychotherapy, behavior therapy, Gestalt therapy, interpersonal psychotherapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, person-centered psychotherapy, scheme therapy, psychodynamic therapy, schema therapy, and solution-based therapy, among others.
Lyford (2017) provides two examples of criticism. A 2013 meta-analysis published in Clinical Psychology Review comparing CBT to other therapies failed to “provide corroborative evidence for the conjecture that CBT is superior to bona fide non-CBT treatments.” An 8-week clinical study by Sweden’s Lund University in 2013 concluded that “CBT was no more effective than mindfulness-based therapy for those suffering from depression and anxiety.”
Another meta-analysis, conducted by psychologists Johnsen and Friborg (2015), tracked 70 CBT outcome studies conducted between 1977 and 2014. It concluded that “the effects of CBT have declined linearly and steadily since its introduction, as measured by patients’ self-reports, clinicians’ ratings, and rates of remission.” According to the authors, “Just seeing a decrease in symptoms,” he says, “doesn’t translate into greater well-being.” This is reflective of most one-size-fits-all approaches.
While this study recognizes CBT as the best foundation for addressing the SAD culture of maladaptive self-appraisal, it makes the point standard CBT alone is not necessarily the most productive course of treatment. New and innovative methodologies supported by a collaboration of theoretical construct and integrated scientific psychotherapy are needed to address mental illness as represented in this era of advanced complexity. A SAD person subsisting on paranoia sustained by negative self-evaluation is better served by multiple non-traditional and supported approaches. Including those defined as new (third)-wave (generation) therapies developed through client trust, cultural assimilation, and therapeutic innovation with CBT and positive psychology serving as the foundational platform for integration.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Defense Mechanisms
Excerpts from our upcoming book, A Tough Love, Common Sense Approach to Recovery from Social Anxiety, currently in final editing.
The overwhelming thoughts and emotions caused by our condition can be challenging for our minds to manage. To cope, we develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies meant to protect our emotional health from threats.
We deny, avoid, or compensate for a problem rather than acknowledge it. We rationalize our actions, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
When used temporarily, defense mechanisms offer an escape from situations that threaten our fragile self-image. Without these strategies, we can experience decompensation—a state where we cannot effectively handle stress, leading to a breakdown in our ability to function and maintain our mental health.
In simpler terms, decompensation is mental overload, where the stress becomes too much for us to handle, and we struggle with our daily tasks and our mental health.
Defense mechanisms are healthy when used to manage short-term trauma, but become problematic when we rely on them to avoid facing reality. Recovery involves examining and understanding how these strategies support our irrational thoughts and behaviors, helping us avoid conflicts with our fragile self-image.
Recognizing how we use defense mechanisms to bypass or avoid reality is a vital step toward recovery. It enables us to turn defense strategies into tools for growth and healing. It empowers us to take control of our mental well-being and navigate our recovery with confidence.
Psychologists have identified approximately thirty defense mechanisms to date. Eight are especially relevant to social anxiety:
avoidance (e.g., evading thoughts, feelings, or situations that cause anxiety or discomfort),
compensation (e.g., overachieving to hide feelings of inadequacy),
denial (e.g., refusing to acknowledge a problem),
displacement (e.g., taking frustrations out on others),
dissociation (e.g., mentally and emotionally distancing ourselves from unpleasant situations),
projection (e.g., attributing our flaws to others),
rationalization (e.g., justifying uncomfortable or inappropriate feelings or behaviors with seemingly logical explanations),
and the related triad of repression, suppression, and regression.
The thirteen cognitive distortions, also particularly relevant to our social anxiety, are also considered defense mechanisms—patterns of biased or distorted thinking that skew our perception of reality.
This post focuses on eight defense mechanisms germane to social anxiety.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Avoidance
A primary SAD symptom is our intense fear or anxiety during social situations, causing us to avoid interacting with others. Human interconnectivity, however, is essential for emotional health. Turning down opportunities to socialize exacerbates our isolation and opportunities for intimacy and friendship.
This does not mean that we need to challenge every situation. There is a clear distinction between avoiding something out of fear and avoiding it for a good reason. Discretion about who and where we engage is essential, as is adhering to our established boundaries and avoiding situations that pose a threat to our physical well-being.
Avoidance can be a reasonable alternative.
Compensation
Compensation is a defense strategy we turn to when we try to excel in one area of our lives to hide perceived flaws in another. It helps us conceal or overcome struggles in one area by becoming skilled at something else. In simple terms, we overachieve in one part of our lives to make up for deficiencies or incapacity in another.
For example, a student might compensate for academic difficulties by excelling in sports or other extracurricular activities. Someone who feels intellectually inferior might become an artisan; a socially awkward person might become a performer; and someone with body dysmorphia may become a fitness enthusiast.
When used wisely, compensation can be a powerful tool for healing. We counteract our perceived flaws with positive, productive traits. We boost our self-esteem by reclaiming our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. And we replace negative thoughts with positive stimuli.
Overcompensation is common among those of us experiencing social anxiety. In fact, it is often part of our daily struggles. The term refers to an overreaction to feelings of inferiority, incompetence, or inadequacy, leading to overzealous attempts to overwhelm the feelings by striving for perfection or seeking validation from others.
We tend to overcompensate for our perceived shortcomings, going to extremes to make up for imagined deficiencies, and setting unrealistically high expectations we cannot meet.
Perfectionism closely resembles the characteristics of social anxiety. Understanding this connection helps us recognize the role of perfectionism in our condition. Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well; it’s an obsessive need to be flawless, with anything less being unacceptable.
As perfectionists, we harshly criticize ourselves when we fall short of our standards. We worry excessively about our behavior before and during social situations, ruminating on these worries long afterward. When things don’t go as planned, we find it hard to move forward.
Social Anxiety and Perfectionism
Social anxiety and perfectionism are closely linked. Both tend to involve higher anxiety levels and lower psychological well-being.
People with SAD often see situations in extremes. To a perfectionist, anything less than perfect is disastrous. We view others as either supporting us or opposing us. The world appears black-and-white, with no middle ground or room for compromise. We see ourselves as either exceptional or failures.
This mindset fuels cognitive distortions such as the need to be always right, personalization, and polarized thinking.
Perfectionists and those with SAD tend to avoid situations that might lead to disaster, disappointment, or embarrassment. We fear saying or doing the wrong thing. We dread criticism and ridicule. These worries intensify our self-criticism and defensiveness.
Our perfectionism pushes us to set unreasonable expectations, like performing flawlessly, never making mistakes, and being in complete control. When we can’t meet these expectations, we become disappointed and feel even more incompetent and inadequate.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Denial
Denial is a defense strategy that induces us to refuse to accept facts or recognize reality to avoid facing certain truths. It protects us from thoughts and emotions we cannot manage emotionally. It shields us from potentially destructive stimuli by blocking our conscious awareness of the harmful or threatening elements of our memories, experiences, and environment.
We can also be in denial about something we’re not ready to reveal or something that challenges our core beliefs and deeply held convictions.
Denial is a common way to avoid taking responsibility for our behaviors. Many individuals experiencing drug or alcohol addiction deny their habit. Trauma victims often deny that the disturbing experience ever occurred to avoid emotional confrontation.
While denial can offer temporary respite from things our minds find unmanageable, its persistent use can impede our ability to face our fears and control our lives. Freud called it the ostrich effect because denial is simply burying our problems in the sand.
Individuals denying their social anxiety is a pervasive problem. The inability or unwillingness to accept the personal impact of our condition is patently hostile to recovery. Even worse is the number of individuals who know they are affected but resist recovery. This reticence is rooted in our core beliefs of hopelessness and worthlessness, which preclude us from making the effort.
We must be fully aware (recognize, comprehend, and accept) of our social anxiety to recover from it. Denying it is like Blanche complaining that Baby Jane wouldn’t abuse her if Blanche weren’t confined to a wheelchair. ‘But you are, Blanche! You are in that chair.’
We cannot allow ourselves the luxury of ignorance.
Displacement
Displacement is a defense strategy where we redirect negative or hostile emotions to a less threatening or more acceptable target. Our minds find a safer outlet for triggers that are challenging or dangerous. Displacement allows us to cope with unmanageable feelings by transferring them onto something or someone else.
By displacing negative emotions or distressing experiences, we momentarily alleviate the anxiety associated with the source of distress. In common vernacular, we take our frustrations out on someone else.
Unleashing our unmanageable feelings onto those who pose a limited threat, such as a roommate, sibling, or associate, has obvious repercussions. A chastised worker might go home, shout at his wife, run the lawnmower into the flowerbed, and upend the cat. Each recipient of their displacement is adversely affected.
Examples of displacement include the student, upset about poor grades, who bullies someone on the playground during recess, and the wife, frustrated by her husband’s lack of attention, who seeks another sexual outlet to quash her feelings of rejection.
Another form of displacement is sublimation, where we redirect unacceptable urges into socially acceptable activities, such as the woman who sublimates her self-sabotaging desires by working out at the gym or the man who frequents the local tavern.
Individuals experiencing social anxiety are prone to displacement and sublimation as a relief from their continual self-doubt, isolation, and negative self-appraisal. For example, when we become overwhelmed by unresolved fears at the company convention, we might displace our anger and self-disappointment onto someone we dislike or sublimate them by getting out on the dance floor.
It is crucial to recognize that, like all defense mechanisms, the relief from displacement is temporary. It tells us that we must become more conscious of our emotional processes and the need for more productive coping strategies.
Dissociation
An essential component of our recovery is distancing ourselves from our condition—to step outside the bullseye, as it were. As long as we remain entwined with our social anxiety disorder, we tend to see ourselves as helpless, hopeless, and worthless. These are core beliefs that contribute to our social anxiety and depression, as identified by the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, Dr. Aaron Beck.
The concept of undesirability, characterized by the feeling of being unwanted or unattractive, is a common manifestation in our workshops, where we discuss and address negative self-appraisal.
Traditionally, dissociation is an unconscious disconnection from reality. It allows individuals to mitigate the effects of trauma by severing specific mental connections. Theoretically, our mind unconsciously blocks memories, emotions, thoughts, and impulses that are hazardous to our emotional well-being.
For instance, a person who has experienced a traumatic event might dissociate themselves from triggers that might rekindle the trauma, effectively ‘shutting off’ the emotions and memories related to the event.
Daydreaming or streaming television to avoid conflict is a harmless form of dissociation, while morphing into multiple personalities is a psychosis called DID (dissociative identity disorder) that requires specialized treatment.
Our first exercise in this book was to begin dissociating ourselves from our social anxiety. We redefine ourselves by our character assets, such as kindness, intelligence, creativity, and resilience, rather than by the symptoms of our condition. We’re not our social anxiety. We are intelligent and resilient individuals experiencing the reparable symptoms of social anxiety.
This shift in self-appraisal enables us to take control of our condition, which significantly weakens it.
Uncoupling ourselves from our condition enables us to objectively analyze our negative thoughts and behaviors, allowing us to respond rationally and productively. By consciously disassociating, we gain the power to deactivate the self-destructive aspects of our condition and activate our strengths, virtues, attributes, and accomplishments. This encourages us to focus on the positive aspects of our character, overriding the negative self-appraisals triggered by our social anxiety.
We are not our social anxiety. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the discomfort of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition. We are not our symptoms and traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of a devious and powerful mental health condition. This understanding liberates us from the shackles of our condition, enabling us to thrive.
Projection
Projection is a psychological defense strategy in which we attribute our undesirable thoughts, feelings, impulses, or behaviors to another person or group to avoid confronting and dealing with them.
When we project, we subconsciously deny certain negative character traits but recognize or create them in others. For example, we might project our fears of negative evaluation by ridiculing someone else’s inept attempt at socializing. Or if we carry repressed anger to a company event, we might perceive others as belligerent and aggressive rather than acknowledging our hostility.
Projection acts as a protective shield for our emotional well-being, providing relief from anxiety-provoking thoughts or feelings. By attributing our problems to someone or something else, we create a safe distance from what we find distressing within ourselves.
For instance someone who is dishonest might constantly suspect others of lying, orthe bar patron on his fifth scotch, might criticize the obvious inebriation of the person at the other table.
Often, when we instinctively dislike or avoid someone, we unconsciously project our disagreeable traits and impulses onto them.
Psychological projection occurs when we are unable or unwilling to take responsibility for our fears, anxieties, prejudices, and irrational thoughts and behaviors. It is easier to recognize negative emotions in others than it is to acknowledge them in ourselves.
Like many defense mechanisms, projecting may be healthy in the short term; however, recovery compels us to address the causes of our projection.
The long-term effects of persistent anxiety projection are detrimental to our health and may aggravate traditional symptoms of our social anxiety, including chronic stress, the constant influx of fear- and anxiety-provoking chemical hormones, and decreased or static self-esteem.
Anxiety Projection
Anxiety projection is particularly relevant to our condition. Unconsciously projecting our anxious thoughts, feelings, or impulses onto others or external situations helps us cope with emotions that threaten our emotional stability. Rather than acknowledging our fears or insecurities, we deny them by attributing them to external sources.
The traits that lead to anxiety projection are not uncommon in social anxiety. They include social avoidance, overthinking, perfectionism, porous emotional boundaries, and codependency. Recognizing these traits can help us better understand and manage our condition, knowing that we are not alone in this struggle.
Socially, projected anxiety can create a cycle of misunderstanding and conflict. For instance, a person projecting their insecurities might accuse their partner of being unfaithful without evidence, which can easily lead to relationship conflicts. We tend to avoid companionship and intimacy in anticipation of rejection. Projecting these fears allows us to evade responsibility.
Practical strategies for managing anxiety projection are within our reach. They focus on increasing self-awareness, challenging cognitive distortions, and reframing our fears and self-appraisals. By implementing these strategies, we learn to manage our issues rather than projecting them onto some unsuspecting external source.
AI Generated
Rationalization
Rationalization is not the same as rational thought or rational coping statements. Which are logical, self-affirming responses to our automatic negative and intrusive thoughts and other irrational and destructive self-appraisals that threaten our emotional well-being.
Rationalization is a defense strategy in which we justify uncomfortable or errant feelings or behaviors with allegedly logical explanations rather than acknowledging the actual reason behind them.
In essence, we deny or distort reality to reduce our emotional discomfort and self-disappointment by inventing a plausible excuse to disguise the real explanation for our behavior or feelings. For example, if we are rejected socially, we might say that the person is already in a relationship. If our presentation is substandard, we blame the lighting and tech.
These excuses protect us from self-recrimination and disappointment.
Rationalization allows us to reframe our actions or feelings in a more socially and personally acceptable manner, protecting our self-esteem and avoiding emotions that challenge our self-image. Psychologists consider defense mechanisms like rationalization and projection, unconscious strategies that protect us from threats to our self-esteem.
Although rationalizations misrepresent our true motivations, they protect us from the feelings of shame, guilt, or anxiety we might experience when we fail to fulfill our true intentions. Rationalization plays a crucial role in maintaining our emotional stability by revising our interpretations of outcomes.
We rationalize our thoughts and behaviors to make them more acceptable, which shields us from negative self-appraisal and helps us maintain a positive self-image. This reassurance is a key function of rationalization.
We rationalize to protect our self-esteem and maintain a positive outlook, and in the short term, this provides comforting relief. It allows us to alleviate stress until we are better equipped to process our motivations.
However, excessive use of rationalization can lead to further problems. Denying, ignoring, or subordinating the truth of a traumatic situation, consciously or unconsciously, prevents us from honestly evaluating our reactions and responses and making positive changes.
Deflecting Responsibility
When we experience anxiety or guilt about our actions, rationalization offers an emotional escape. It replaces discomfort with emotionally acceptable explanations, but it also enables us to evade responsibility for the outcome, a crucial aspect to consider.
An excellent example of rationalization would be the dieter who opts out of the recommended exercises because they are too time-consuming and have failed them in the past —so what’s the point?
Rationalization versus Lying
It’s important to distinguish between rationalization and deception. While lying is a deliberate attempt to mislead, rationalization is a partly or primarily unconscious strategy. Both conceal the truth and disguise our real motives.
Rationalization, in its various forms—such as minimizing, deflecting, blaming, and attacking—is a common human experience. We’ve all been in situations where we downplay the importance of a task, shift blame to others, or make excuses for our actions. It’s a natural defense strategy that prevents us from taking responsibility and shields us from feelings that could challenge our self-esteem.
While it defends against distressing thoughts, erratic behaviors, and failed outcomes, rationalization avoids the deeper problems that require attention.
Repression, Suppression, Regression
Repression operates at the deepest level of our unconscious mind. It’s a process where we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too challenging to handle. In psychology, repression refers to the process by which we prevent specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.
While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that it can lead to enduring psychological issues. These memories, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions. For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might steer us from specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.
These occurrences can stir up anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression on our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.
Suppression
Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a conscious choice to subdue painful thoughts and memories to deal with them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery. It allows us to resolve the issues that we have temporarily suppressed.
The distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is also essential to understand. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a conscious decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition to address them dispassionately and objectively.
Understanding these nuances can provide a deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery. Making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.
Repression is often confused with the defense strategy, denial, in which we refuse to admit to unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even with evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth. For example, a person in denial about their addiction may refuse to acknowledge their problem despite clear evidence. Repression, on the other hand, involves unconscious mental dismissal. It’s like the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by pushing it out of conscious awareness.
Both are psychological attempts to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a severe psychological issue that requires more specialized treatment, something a traditional recovery program does not provide.
A primary objective of a treatment program is to unblock these memories and emotions to address the root causes of our unconscious unwillingness or inability to confront certain distressing or traumatic events or situations.
Certain aspects of our person are broken. It is impossible to fix something that is broken unless we have a clear understanding of its causes. It’s like a novice attempting to rebuild a transmission without knowing the basics of engine operation.
How do we identify the defense strategy we use to avoid dealing with an uncomfortable or unmanageable issue? It’s like recognizing a familiar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain precisely how you know, but you do. Similarly, we often recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action. This underscores the importance of self-awareness in identifying, understanding, and accepting why we use certain defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences.
This suggests, correctly, that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, comprehend, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. It’s important to note that during the recovery process, we learn specific coping strategies that help reduce our emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The reason for posting this introduction to our book is twofold. Hopefully, it will generate constructive criticism from my readers, as I thrive on your wisdom and experiences. It also allows us to conveniently direct publishers who have expressed interest in the book while the editor worksthrough twenty-six chapters of final draft material.
Introduction
Tough Love and Common Sense
In his book, Optimal Happiness, Roman Russo provides the analogy of the person who falls into an open sewer and can’t climb out. Imagine that person is you. A therapist peers into the hole, and you ask for help. She tosses you a shovel so you can dig your way out. A priest stops by, and you beg him to save you. He tells you to say five Hail Marys and the Act of Contrition. Your friends stop by, and you ask for support. They mock your stupidity and move on. I come across you flailing about in the sewer. What do I do? I jump into the hole with you. How does that help, you ask? I spent years in the same sewer, and I know the way out.
I have been where you are now. Your experiences are not alien to me; your fears have been my fears. There’s nothing you’ve felt or done that I haven’t encountered or considered. I have felt your pain and frustration. Living with severe social anxiety disorder for much of my life, I was, like you, bewildered, angry, and depressed – a social pariah convinced there was something wrong with me. I know firsthand the controlling, devious, and manipulative nature of our condition.
No one is better qualified to help you than someone who spent half his life in the sewer and found the way out. You must experience it to know it. My personal experience is a testament to the effectiveness of the strategies I present.
The acronym SAD is disturbingly appropriate. Experiencing social anxiety makes us unhappy. It saddens us. I became so disgusted and self-loathing that I returned to university, disciplined myself in psychology and philosophy, and devoted myself to the study of this self-destructive and hateful entity.
A one-size-fits-all approach to recovery is ineffective. We are unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations. Social anxiety is unlike any other emotional malfunction. Experts continue to underrate, misunderstand, and misdiagnose it. Our reactions and responses are counterintuitive to standard recovery methods, rendering our efforts counterproductive.
The recovery approaches in this book draw from the rich diversity of human thought and experience, integrating science, psychology, philosophy, and, by extension, religious and spiritual insights to provide a comprehensive framework for understanding the human condition.
Neuroscience supports proactive and active neuroplasticity, key components of the program. Cognitive behavior modification and positive psychology focus on optimal functioning from a Western perspective, while Eastern practices contribute critical therapeutic benefits through Abhidharma psychology and principles of ethical behavior.
I revised the standard methodology to apply specifically to our condition. I pioneered the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information that is the foundation of proactive neuroplasticity – rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
And I created innovative approaches to rebuild and reclaim our self-esteem. I developed the character resume—a living record of our strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. A character resume is a journey of rediscovery and a catalyst for reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem by emphasizing our assets over our shortcomings. An evolving chronicle of our value and significance, the character resume exemplifies the wellness model of mental health.
In our workshops, we developed the Feared-Situation Plan, which contains predetermined mechanisms and skills tailored to address and alleviate potential threats to specific individual challenging situations.
I have shared these innovative techniques individually with clients and in groups and workshops. I have helped hundreds of individuals find their way out of the sewer, and I am here to help you do the same.
The Static Versus Dynamic SAD Person
There are two distinctive types of individuals experiencing SAD: the Static and the Dynamic. The static SAD individual is immobilized, perceptually trapped in their distressing state, either unable or unwilling to break free. Dynamic SAD individuals are in a constant state of flux, actively seeking ways to manage their condition and enhance their lives.
In his extensive examination of emotional malfunction, Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, posited that anxiety and depression generate feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. These negative self-attributions make us feel undeserving of recovery.
Additionally, many motivated towards treatment claim they cannot afford it due to financial hardship. The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety is related to SAD-provoked job inefficiency and instability, greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and frequent job changes. Individuals with SAD are more likely to be less educated, unmarried, and have lower socioeconomic status.
These individuals are my friends, colleagues, and associates. I love them unreservedly, yet with a pervading sadness, because I cannot help those who will not help themselves.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not resigned to their condition. Instead, we are actively engaged in our recovery, demonstrating remarkable resilience and determination. Here are some characteristics of those in recovery who inspire us with their courage and commitment to change.
The Dynamic SAD individual overcomes hopelessness with renewed optimism, reframing the inconceivable with possibility. We subvert our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance, courage, and determination. Our confidence makes us approachable, which mitigates any irrational sense of undesirability. WE are aware of our worth and significance.
What is awareness? It is the recognition, comprehension, and acceptance of the validity of something. What is validity? The quality of being logically or factually sound. As psychologist Jocelyn Sze cleverly remarks, “Awareness works like a vaccine, gradually building psychological immunity against further harm.” The antithesis of awareness is mindlessness, a state resistant to learning.
Dynamic SAD individuals do not confront their fears; they embrace them. Instead of meeting them with hostility or competing with hubris, we willingly and enthusiastically acknowledge and accept them as challenges. Our experiences are, and always will be, part of our identity.
Embracing our condition is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning; it is genuine acceptance of who we are – imperfect beings with strengths, shortcomings, and vulnerabilities. We embrace our totality, and in doing so, we enable ourselves to transform. This is not surrender; it’s taking control and owning our destiny.
We are curious and adventurous because we have embarked on a journey of discovery. We have opened our minds to new concepts and perspectives. And we are flexible and adaptable because those are the qualities of someone who fearlessly challenges what may lie ahead.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not just a problem-solver; we are creative thinkers. We are not just risk-takers; we are bungee jumpers. We are not just energetic; we are passionate. And we are not just empowered; we are the masters of our domain.
Dynamic SAD individuals are motivated to help others evolve and flourish. We were once helpless and hopeless, and we don’t want anyone else to experience those feelings. We are a community of compassionate individuals with shared goals, commitment, and determination. And we support, uplift, and inspire, creating a strong sense of community and support.
SAD will continue to sustain itself by inflicting anxiety and fear, but those emotions have no power on their own. We fuel them; we give them their energy. Without our sustenance, they cannot survive.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Know Thyself
‘Know Thyself’ was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo. Socrates aspired to it. Sun Tzu wrote, ‘If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.’
It is essential to understand that we are not all affected by social anxiety to the same degree. The extent and severity of symptoms and characteristics are subjective. We are unique individuals with diverse backgrounds and environments.
Roughly 124 million U.S. adults and adolescents experience anxiety disorders. 60% of those also experience depression and other comorbidities like ADHD and PTSD. Far too many turn to substance abuse, as I did.
Repetition, Repetition
Don’t let the technical language in this book intimidate you. Much is just fancy jargon designed to maintain the power dynamic between doctor and patient. I will break it all down into simple, understandable terms. This book is not an academic exercise but a practical, straightforward, and easily digestible guide to recovery.
You will find information repeated ad nauseam. Repetition is a key factor in learning. Repetition enhances cognition, enabling more profound and more embedded learning. When we encounter new information, our brain forms weak connections between neurons processing that information. Repetition strengthens these connections and transfers learned information from short-term to long-term memory. Information islearned, relearned, and mastered.
Tough Love and Common Sense
Common sense and tough love are the two pivotal standards of this program. Tough love is compassionate concern expressed with rigor and precision to promote healthy and responsible behavior. It operates on the principle of confronting our challenges head-on to foster positive transformation.
Common Sense
Common sense, the ability to use sound judgment based on a cultivated awareness of the facts, is a powerful tool in overcoming the irrational thoughts and behaviors that sustain our social anxiety.
Irrationality is the overriding symptom of our condition. Our left brain, the locus of analytical and logical thinking, is overwhelmed by our right hemisphere’s emotional responses, leading to a psychological imbalance. In essence, the characteristics and traits of social anxiety supersede common sense.
Recovery Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is the alleviation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We have a comprehensive three-pronged approach to guide us.
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Reconstruct our neural network through rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society.
The recovery process is not a series of isolated steps, but a unified journey. The three-pronged approach-replacing negative thoughts and behaviors, reconstructing our neural network, and rebuilding our self-esteem-is interdependent. Each element supports the others, creating a comprehensive strategy for recovery.
This interconnectedness means that every step we take towards one objective also advances the other two, presenting a holistic approach to recovery.
Admittedly, every book on recovery lacks elements of an interactive program. Collective exercises, role-playing, group discussions, and other communal activities cannot be realized on the written page. This lacuna highlights the importance of Socratic questioning, where our thoughts and behaviors are challenged through thoughtful, relevant, open-ended questions, enabling us to make rationally informed decisions.
Socratic Questioning
Socratic questioning is a powerful tool in the recovery process. It’s a form of disciplined personal inquiry that encourages expansive and reflective solutions, rather than simple yes-or-no answers. By engaging in critical thinking, we delve deeper into our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We challenge the validity of our perspectives to consider alternative viewpoints. This process of objective analysis, evaluation, and interpretation of our beliefs leads to the formation of rational and well-informed solutions.
The Paradox of Shame
Many people experiencing social anxiety possess a fierce reluctance to treatment. Many go to enormous lengths to remain ignorant or oblivious of SAD’s destructive capabilities, as if, by denying them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
One of the primary reasons for this reticence is the unwarranted shame and guilt we carry for our condition. That is futile and unwarranted.
It is not our fault that we experience social anxiety. We did not ask for it, nor are we responsible for its happening. Our susceptibility to it occurred during early childhood, before we were cognizant of cause and effect. We are not accountable for the hand we were dealt.
We are, however, responsible for how we play the cards we are still holding onto.
And if you don’t think shame can have debilitating consequences on recovery, let me share TR’s story. Rather than attributing his social anxiety to a physically abusive father and emotionally detached mother, TR blamed himself for his childhood, citing that he was shy and more reclusive than his siblings, uninterested in sports and other activities preferred by his parents.
Blame and shame are closely aligned when the child blames themselves for the trauma they experience. Shame then predominates the child’s future identity. TR’s shame convinced him that he was not worthy of recovery. Once he was able to attribute his childhood trauma to his parents, he was able to dispel the groundless shame that blocked his healing.
Defense and the Indefensible
For some, aspects of our condition are challenging for our minds to manage. We develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies designed to protect us from our fears and apprehensions. We deny, avoid, and compensate rather than confront our problems. And we rationalize our conduct, project it onto others, or displace it by kicking the dog.
Cognitive distortions are defense mechanisms – exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that contribute to our anxiety and depression. We twist reality to reinforce or justify our toxic thoughts and behaviors. Throughout the book, we will identify and resolve the thirteen distortions particularly relevant to our condition.
We Travel This Road Together
We are all on this journey together. The path may be challenging, but it’s one we share. As we learn, practice, develop, and flourish, our shared experiences bind us, creating a network of support and understanding.
Change is indeed a formidable challenge. Habits, deeply ingrained, are not easily broken. We are psychologically and physiologically invested in them, and our very nature resists anything that disrupts their control. It’s like trying to give up your diazepam during the holidays.
Our brain’s inertia senses and combats any attempts at change, and our basal ganglia repel modification. This resistance must be shattered so that we can open ourselves to new ideas and concepts.
We begin by dissociating ourselves from our symptoms. We no longer define ourselves by our social anxiety. And we learn to define ourselves by our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Active Participation is Paramount
Recovery from social anxiety is not a passive process. It requires a specialized understanding of its complexity provided by someone who has experienced it firsthand. I will equip you with tools, but remember that it’s your journey, and your active participation is crucial. You will need to directly engage with the strategies and exercises provided and be open to making changes in your thinking and behavior. Your commitment to this process is key to your success.
We will harnessthe transformative power of neuroplasticity, which is our brain’s amazing ability to adapt and reorganize itself. By consciously compelling our brain to rewire its neural pathways, we counteract decades of negative thinking and accelerate the process of learning new, healthier ways of thinking and behaving.
Neuroplasticity strengthens neuron connections, generating more energy and producing higher levels of proteins for improved cognitive functioning. It helps reclaim and rebuild self-esteem and emotional regulation. It transmits chemical hormones associated with relaxation, concentration, pleasure, and motivation while reducing the influx of our fear and anxiety-provoking hormones.
Neuroplasticity is not a theoretical concept but a scientific reality that transforms our thoughts and behaviors, creating new mindsets, skills, and abilities.
Coping Mechanisms
Coping mechanisms are cognitive, emotional, and behavioral strategies we use to manage our emotions, reduce anxiety, and respond to stress. They range from practiced skills we learn in recovery, e.g., slow talk and visualization, to instinctual reactions to stress, such as hiking or listening to music. Cognitive coping mechanisms equip us to structure rational reactions and responses to our irrational thoughts. Behavioral coping mechanisms provide the means to modify our behaviors.
Reframing
Cognitive reframing, a powerful tool in CBT, enables us to identify our anxiety triggers and take control of our perspective. For instance, if a social event sparks feelings of inadequacy, we can reframe it as an opportunity to enhance our social skills, thereby boosting our confidence.
Every situation offers a multitude of perspectives. When we realize that we have the freedom to choose joy and positivity, it becomes a logical and liberating decision to seize the opportunity.
Grounding
Grounding is a coping mechanism that redirects situational anxiety and stress by consciously focusing on the objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and sensations that surround us.
We learn how to influence the vagus nerve through somatic exercises, such as controlled breathing, kinesthesia, and progressive muscle relaxation. A key element of the parasympathetic nervous system, our vagus nerve helps to relax us in stressful situations.
Rational Coping Statements
Rationalcoping statements are logical, self-affirming responses to our situational anxieties and automatic negative thoughts. For example, if we fear rejection in a social situation, our rational coping statements might be, “I belong here as much as anyone.” “I am valuable and significant.” “I am equal to anyone here.” “My fear is irrational.” These statements are designed to counteract the negative thoughts and feelings provoked by our negative self-appraisal
These are just a small sample of the coping mechanisms we will learn and practice in this book.
Boundaries
By setting boundaries, we establish the standards of treatment we expect and are entitled to. Boundaries shield us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations, preventing others from exploiting or taking advantage of us. In essence, by setting boundaries, we reclaim our power and assert our identity.
Reconstructing Our Neural Information
Changing habits, removing ourselves from hostile environments, and breaking patterns that disrupt our optimal functioning can be difficult. Of the two billion bits of data per second that surround our sensory systems, our conscious brain processes roughly ten bits. Inputting crafted and relevant information to ensure its noticeability is crucial. We will identify the criteria for creating practical and detailed information that positively reconstructs our neural network.
The most effective information is calculated and tailored to our intentions and motivations. Are we focused on a specific challenge? Are we reinforcing a personal attribute? And are we addressing our negative thoughts and behaviors? What is the ultimate milestone we want to achieve?
By setting clear, specific goals, we significantly enhance the quality of information that supports the desired outcome. Information or experiences that our brain notices and processes alert millions of neurons, accelerating and consolidating neural restructuring to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Balancing our Neural Hemispheres
Hemispheric synchronization is the harmonious collaboration of our brain’s left and right hemispheres to achieve optimal coherence. Due to the emotional overload of our condition, we possess a low EQ (emotional intelligence), which refers to our ability to manage and respond to our own emotions and those of others. We learn how to harness the power of our left hemisphere’s analytical, problem-solving, and communication skills to balance our right brain’s irrational emotions and expressions.
The book will guide us in crafting a comprehensive plan to manage our situational triggers. We delve into questions such as: What is challenging for me under these circumstances? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually)?
What concerns or worries confront me? What is the worst outcome we believe could happen? And what might occur? Who or what do we avoid due to these feelings?
By identifying our triggers, we unveil the anxiety-provoking thoughts that surface in anticipation of or during our feared situations. This allows us to take control and devise a plan that includes pre-established coping mechanisms. As Ben Franklin wisely said, ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail.’
We also demonstrate the power and productivity of visualization. To our brain, visualizing is akin to doing it; the same cognitive processes are activated. Visualizing raising our left hand is neurally indistinguishable from physically raising our left hand. This technique not only readies us for anxiety-provoking situations but also boosts our confidence and reduces anticipatory anxiety, thereby increasing the likelihood of a successful outcome.
Establishing, Developing, and Maintaining Relationships
The desire for love and acceptance is at the heart of social anxiety, but our symptoms disrupt our ability to establish collegial and affectional bonds in almost any capacity. Human connection is crucial to emotional health.
Extensive research demonstrates that healthy social interaction strengthens our immune system and shields us from neurodegenerative disease. Socializing triggers the release of chemical hormones that boost our learning, concentration, and motivation.
Our fears of rejection and intimacy that hinder our ability to form and sustain healthy relationships are mitigated by reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem.
Self-Esteem
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs sheds light on how social anxiety’s negative trajectory affects our self-esteem. Certain preconditions must be met for healthy psychological development, including adequate sleep, security and safety, parental protection, and a healthy environment. Our childhood disturbance and environment subvert the satisfaction of these needs.
Rebuilding our self-esteem and reintegrating into society are primary objectives of recovery. Despite the disruption to ouroptimal development, the qualities that construct our self-esteem are not lost but are rudimentary or interrupted.Just as stimulating the unexercised muscles in an arm or leg reconditions it, we can also rebuild our self-esteem.
The byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-compassion, a powerful tool that fosters a sense of awareness and empathy that we naturally extend to others. As caring and compassionate social beings, we are driven to reintegrate into society and pay it forward. But it’s equally important to extend this compassion to ourselves, recognizing that self-forgiveness is essential for growth and healthy relationships.
We learn to value ourselves and recognize our importance in the lives of others. We take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. This act of self-care is not selfish, but a necessary step in maintaining healthy relationships, as it allows us to be our best selves for those we care about.
The Indispensability of Forgiveness
It’s impossible to gauge the severity of the harm we perpetrate upon another. We feel shame and guilt for committing the deed and for being the type of person who would do such a thing. These emotions are resolved by accepting responsibility, making direct or substitutional amends, and forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness liberates us from the past, releasing us from the weight of vengeance and vindictiveness.
Self-transgression is prevalent in social anxiety. We beat ourselves up daily. By forgiving ourselves, we reclaim our sense of worth, enabling us to move forward with strength and confidence.
Much of our negative neural information stems from the unsettled debris of shame and guilt that clouds our thoughts, influences our behaviors, and strains our relationships. This ‘unsettled debris’ refers to the lingering effects of past actions or experiences that continue to affect us.
Recovery requires letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs. It’s about freeing ourselves from the shackles of shame, guilt, and other hostile self-indulgences. Forgiveness opens us up to new possibilities, unencumbered by past acts. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
When faced with challenges or obstacles, it is tempting to abandon the struggle and admit defeat. Stay the course, my friends. It becomes exponentially easier as we progress, and your determination is the key to your success.
Stop. Take A Break. Reward Yourself
We have been our harshest critic for too long. It’s crucial to give ourselves credit for the constructive changes we’re making. For every positive thought, attempt, or interaction, take a moment to congratulate yourself on your progress. Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Acknowledging and rewarding your efforts in our recovery is vital to your mental well-being. Self-reward is a tangible symbol of your progress. It triggers the release of positive hormones, including endorphins for relaxation, GABA and serotonin to quell anxiety, and dopamine for a sense of happiness and calm. Self-reward boosts your mood and fuels your motivation to keep pushing forward.
You are integral and interrelated to all things, the lifeblood of being, the ultimate, dynamic, and creative ground of the universe(s), with the power to lift the human spirit.
So, see a movie, visit Baskin-Robbins, brunch with a friend, or treat yourself to a day at the spa.
Then move on to Chapter One.
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About the Editor
Olalekan Raji’s most recent publication is A Gospel Breakthrough with Kenya’s Maasai. Olalekan is a freelance writer with the WORLD News Group. He is a human capacity development enthusiast with experience in fisheries and aquaculture, public speaking, social work, and church missions. He lives in Banjul, Gambia, with his wife and child.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Publisher Comment
Your book—Tough Love and Common Sense: Recovery from Social Anxiety (working title)—sounds both timely and impactful, especially given your dual perspective as an academic behaviorist and someone with lived experience. The integration of traditional and non-traditional methodologies, supported by neuroscience, CBT, and positive psychology, combined with your real-world application through workshops, makes this a compelling addition to the self-help and mental health space. The inclusion of black-and-white diagrams will no doubt enhance accessibility and understanding for readers. It’s clear you’ve invested significant effort in developing this material, and the fact that your earlier work has already received positive reception strengthens the book’s potential for mass appeal. Karl Baushman Head of Publishing and Marketing Book Fuel
This reposts an article recently published on Where the Light Gets In. The conventional pathographic model of mental health focuses on the diagnosis rather than the individual. Which reduces us to a label. It is crucial to impress upon the client that they are not defined by their diagnoses. But by their character strengths, virtues, and attributes. The Wellness Model of Mental Health recognizes that we do not recover from distress by focusing on our defects and deficiencies. But on our strengths and assets.
When we label individuals or groups, we reduce them to a single, usually negative, characteristic or descriptor based on an event or behavior. As a result, we view them (or ourselves) through the label and filter out evidence that contradicts that stereotype. Labeling by diagnoses has a similar outcome.
Arbitrarily evaluating someone based on an isolated incidents or behavior is likely an inaccurate representation of that individual. One negative behavior or incident does not define someone’s character. Rather than focus on a label, it is more authentic to value the positive contributions of the person or group. We can then relate with compassionate insight, recognizing the diversity of human thought and experience.
Additionally, attempting to distinguish symptoms and identifying specific etiological and risk factors in emotional malfunction leads to speculation, errors, and misdiagnosis. This likely results in faulty treatment programs and adverse medications.
It is important to recognize that the person experiencing an emotional malfunction knows more about its personal impact than their diagnostician or therapist. This does not imply that error is inevitable, although it happens often with social anxiety disorder. It just posits the possibility.A healthy collaboration of client awareness and a doctor patient mutual dynamic is crucial to proper evaluation. In the wise words of Hippocrates, the pioneer of modern medicine. “If you are not your own doctor, you are a fool.”
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Five to one, one in five. No one gets out alive…
Margaret November 3, 2023 Where the Light Gets In
The good days are finally outweighing the bad. And it’s been a long time coming.
I don’t doubt the role medication plays in this… in fact, I’d go as far as to say they’re probably the only reason my mood remains relatively stable. In a pre-emptive strike, my medication was increased recently.
I say “pre-emptive,” but in truth, I’d noticed the beginnings of a wobble. I’ve essentially re-entered the world as an actual adulting adult again. That’s not without its pressures. I didn’t really want to hang around and find out if weebles wobble enough that they eventually do fall down, so I did the only sensible thing and went back to my psych team to tell them that I was under a bit more stress than I’d previously been and I’d like to protect myself against the impact of that and the upcoming winter months. I had enough niggly signs that they agreed it was best to up the dose and add in some extra support.
To some, that might seem cowardly or lazy. Why should I think that just because I’m dealing with normal life stressors, that warrants upping my medication? Well, because I know my own limits. I know that whilst my mood wasn’t deteriorating, there is absolutely the potential for it to do so as I emerge into the world again.
Am I under any more pressure than anyone else? No. Am I, for whatever reason, less able to cope with those pressures than most people… yes. I recognize that. I accept it. And for the sake of my family, I have to be accountable for my own emotional and mental wellbeing.
I have deliberately shied away from talking about labels and diagnoses. This is the one area I really struggle with because it feels like I have more letters after my name than I can even count.
The one I struggle most with is “bipolar.” That’s a hefty label to carry around.
When you’re given a diagnosis, most psychiatrists are so risk-averse that nobody ever actually removes a previous diagnosis from your notes, even if there are questions over it.
When you’re given a diagnosis, most psychiatrists are so risk-averse that nobody ever actually removes a previous diagnosis from your notes, even if there are questions over it. Even if they don’t believe it fits. Even if there isn’t enough evidence for it to stand anymore.
Bipolar is the one I hate with a fervour matched only by my hatred of Nigel Farage. In the same breath that I was given the diagnosis, I was told that the condition has a one in five mortality rate, and that’s why I was being kept such a close eye on.
That’s a terrifying statistic to live with. I have a higher chance of dying from the illness I have than if I’d been diagnosed with some cancers.
True to form, this diagnosis simply fuelled my fear and anxiety. And when I’m anxious, I obsess. The intrusive thoughts ramp up and become harder to manage.
In the wake of being told those figures, I became sure that The Doors song “Five to One” was prophetic. That the lyrics (I refer you to this cleverly titled blog…) were a precursor to a fate that I was powerless to avoid. Despite the fact that being one of the four in five is statistically more likely, I convinced myself I’d been given a death sentence. And so, that one line in the song played on a loop in my head. It went round and round so often in my head that there was barely any room for anything else.
I cursed the doctor for their thoughtless delivery. I cursed a God I didn’t even believe in for his cruelty. And I grieved for a life I was now sure would be cut short. I was waiting for the death knell to sound, and yet, somehow, it felt as though it was ringing in my ears every single day. Except that the death knell was clearly Jim Morrison in this case.
Why do I hate the label of “bipolar” so much? Well, because I feel like it doesn’t fit. It feels like a lazy way of neatly packaging up a whole truckload of trauma into one nice, neat little word, It feels like a medical cop-out.
The same doctor who delivered the death knell also told me that “bipolar disorder is the closest thing the psychiatric world has to high blood pressure. They know what medications work, the know how to control it and what works without exception” – except that’s pure bollocks.
I say it’s bollocks because there is no clinical test for the disorder… nothing in your blood that can be measured, nothing in a brain scan that will be evident. There is not a single medical marker other than your psychiatric evaluation – which isn’t so much an evaluation as a run through your life history.
I’ve never met a male with the diagnosis, although I’m aware they do exist. What I have seen, however, are scores of women with histories of sexual, physical, or emotional abuse with the diagnosis. I’ve seen dozens of women who are untreated peri or full-blown menopausal with the diagnosis.
And it leaves me wondering if the label is a cop-out for writing a woman off without actually hearing her.
I’ve variously been told in my life that I suffer from psychotic depression, that I have Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder (having someone tell you that your personality is a disorder is pretty shit too by the way…), that I have OCD traits, anxiety (okay, this one I agree with). I don’t know that any of these labels are helpful for anything other than permitting me to access mental health support.
The thing is, those labels are all over my medical notes. So now I have to practically be dying before I’ll se a GP for a physical ailment, lest they put it down to my mental health…
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
What does it take to keep things at ReChanneling running smoothly?
Videos
Educational videos, like the above, require meeting diverse criteria. We currently have seven videos on proactive neuroplasticity and six videos on recovery posted on YouTube and BitChute.
Social Media
ReChanneling is currently promoted on BitChute, Bluesky, Facebook, Google, Instagram, LinkedIn, Threads, TikTok, and YouTube.
Online Monthly Discussions
ReChanneling provides monthly discussions hosted by Dr. Mullen to subscribers covering innovations and recovery from social anxiety and related conditions, which include depression, self-esteem issues, substance-related disorders, as well as multiple associated emotional malfunctions.
Each discussion is a valuable opportunity to gain insights and strategies for your personal growth journey. Past topics have included Core and Intermediate Beliefs, Setting Boundaries, The Irrationality of Shame and Guilt, Hemispheric Synchronization, Fight-or-Flight Stress Responses, Childhood Disturbance, and Proactive and Active Neuroplasticity.
Open to Subscribers, these discussion groups are a regular feature of our calendar. They are held on the third Tuesday of every month from 7:00 PM to 9:00 PM Pacific Time. Topics and links are announced roughly three weeks before the event.
Workshops
10-session Social Anxiety Recovery Workshops are held quarterly. Monthly online graduate recovery support is provided pro bono.
“… one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
“Rechanneling’s Social Anxiety Workshop produced results within a few sessions, with continuing improvement throughout the workshop and behind.” – Liz D.
“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this program. I feel so confident and ready to utilize these resources/tools you’ve provided.” – Trish G.
Website
Weekly postings regarding emotional malfunction (social anxiety, depression, etc.), self-empowerment, and psychobiography are provided on the ReChanneling website. Contributing articles to other websites.
Publications
At least one peer-reviewed article or chapter annually. We are currently editing with Springer Publications our upcoming book, tentatively titled The War for our Emotional Well-Being. Recovery from Social Anxiety and Related Emotional Malfunctions.
Seminars, Lectures
Two classes are currently posted on Academia.edu. Various presentations include the Lake Shore Unitarian Society of Illinois, The Elizabeth Taylor 50+ Network/San Francisco AIDs Foundation, Tedx, World Congress on Education, WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga), and the APA Western Division Conference.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
