The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Complementarity
Understanding the holistic nature of our being is a journey into the intricate web of our mind, body, spirit, and emotions – the components of our behavior. These elements of our human holism are not separate entities, but intimately interconnected, each influencing and shaping the others. This interconnectedness is the essence of our emotional well-being.
Defining Our Behavioral Components
It’s easy to provide basic definitions for mind, body, and emotions. Many of us confuse the term ‘spirit’ due to its association with religion and spirituality. In the context of recovery, ‘spirit’ refers to our ongoing emotional state or disposition that influences our perceptions, thoughts, and behaviors.
Emotions versus Spirit
Emotions are temporary outbursts or subjective responses to people, situations, and objects that trigger strong feelings and behavioral responses. Unlike emotions, which are typically intense and short-lived reactions to specific triggers, our spirit is a more enduring emotional state or disposition that is influenced by our fundamental, rigid beliefs.
These beliefs set the tone for interpreting and responding to the world around us, making our spirit a key aspect of our holistic health.
Complementarity refers to the interconnectedness and mutual influence of our behavioral components: mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Understanding this concept can equip us with the knowledge to manage stress effectively.
How does complementarity work? During a fear situation, something triggers us. A trigger refers to a thing, person, or event that elicits a reaction due to its association with some past trauma. This trigger or stimulus alerts our mind, body, spirit, and emotions simultaneously.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Trauma Defined
Trauma can be a scary and misunderstood term. It refers to any disturbing experience that results in disruptive or discomforting feelings intense enough to have a long-lasting adverse effect on our optimal functioning. These unsettling events activate the amygdala, which responds by sending out an alarm to multiple body systems to prepare for defense.
Mutual Interaction of Our Behavior Components
Let me provide a hypothetical example. During a fear situation, such as a social event, a trigger might generate automatic negative thoughts such as “No one will talk to me” or “I’ll do something stupid” (Mind). We express these thoughts through our reactions and responses (Emotions). We feel stress and other physical discomfort (Body). And we feel incompetent and inferior (Spirit).
This simultaneous mutual interaction is an example of complementarity in action.
Complementarity reflects the enduring interconnectedness of our four behavior components: mind, body, spirit, and emotions. Connection is the essence of mental health; disconnection is a sign of brokenness.
Utilizing Complementarity
How do we use complementarity to our advantage? We rechannel our anxiety or stress from one component to another. It’s crucial to recognize that we always have avenues of release for any form of discomfort. This awareness prepares us to manage stress effectively.
Through complementarity, we redirect unmanageable emotions – intense and overwhelming feelings that can disrupt our mental and emotional well-being – through physical activity, mental distractions, or spiritual contemplation. We engage in ‘B’ (physical activity), ‘C’ (mental distractions), or ‘D’ (mood reframing) to mitigate ‘A’ (the unmanageable emotion).
Examples of Complementarity
We walk to calm our angst, meditate when agitated, or solve a crossword puzzle to counter anxiety. If the component under stress is physical (such as palpitations, nausea, or tremors), we focus on a mental, emotional, or dispositional (spirit) state to compensate. If it is mental, we focus on a physical, emotional, or dispositional state.
Our mind, body, spirit, and emotions are not isolated entities, but interconnected. They act jointly, each influencing the other, although not always in equal measure. Depending on the situation and subjective response, one component takes precedence over the others.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Consider the aftermath of a freeway fender-bender. Our brain becomes chaotic with competing thoughts. Physically, we experience discomfort, if not whiplash. We’re emotionally angry and frustrated and suddenly aware of our mortality.
If we are in pain, the physical likely takes precedence. If we are slightly inebriated, it might be the mental (can I talk my way out of it?), it might be the emotional fear of being arrested, or it might be the dispositional sense of futility.
Managing Complementarity
There are various techniques we learn in recovery to help us redirect our stress. Cognitive reframing, a powerful tool in CBT, enables us to identify our anxiety triggers and gain control over our perspective. For example, if a social event triggers feelings of inadequacy, we can reframe it as an opportunity to improve our social skills, thereby boosting our confidence.
Grounding is a practical coping strategy that involves redirecting situational anxiety by intentionally focusing on the objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and sensations around us. Other methods include using distractions and diversions, focusing on character and persona to change our perspective, and controlled breathing to shift energy by stimulating our vagus nerve.
As we journey through recovery, we gain the power to consciously manipulate our mind, body, spirit, and emotions to our advantage. This enables us to redirect or reframe the anxiety that threatens our emotional well-being. In a broader sense, we take control of our reactions and responses rather than allowing our condition to dominate our thoughts and behavior.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL?ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Positive neurological stimulation changes the polarity of our neural network, which is a complex system of interconnected neurons in the brain, from toxic to healthy. The deliberate, repetitive neural input of information (DRNI) accelerates and consolidates the process. By acting proactively, we compel change rather than reacting or responding.
Until we embark on the journey of recovery, social anxiety can dominate our emotional well-being and quality of life. However, it’s important to remember that symptom mitigation is possible. Our negative self-appraisal may provoke feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness, but these can be overcome with the right approach.
Our fears and apprehensions may feel real, but they are abstractions. They have no power without our involvement. By identifying them and responding rationally, we moderate their dominance.
Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is the scientific evidence of our brain’s constant adaptation to information. It is what makes learning and registering new experiences possible. Scientists refer to the process as structural remodeling of the brain.
Our brain’s natural plasticity was identified in the 1960s, stemming from research into brain functioning after a massive stroke. Previously, researchers believed that neurogenesis, or the creation of new neurons, ceased shortly after birth.
Today, science recognizes that our neural pathways are dynamic and malleable. Our human brain continuously reorganizes itself in response to the input of information.
All registered (neurally noticed) information alerts our brains to realign, resulting in a correlated change in behavior and perspective. What is significant is our ability to accelerate and consolidate the process by compelling our brain to repattern its neural circuitry.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Three Forms of Neuroplasticity
Human neuroplasticity happens in three forms. Reactive neuroplasticity is our brain’s involuntary response to things over which we have limited to no control – stimuli we absorb but do not focus on or initiate: a car alarm, lightning, or the smell of baked goods. Our neural network automatically restructures itself based on what happens around us.
Active neuroplasticity occurs through intentional pursuits such as creating, yoga, and journaling. We control active neuroplasticity because we consciously choose the activity. A significant component of active neuroplasticity is our altruistic and compassionate social behavior – teaching, volunteering, and contributing.
Proactive neuroplasticity is the most effective method of positive neural restructuring. We compel our brains to change their negative polarity to positive through the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information. This process of neural restructuring involves the reorganization of our brain’s neural connections.
By consciously compelling our brain to repattern its neural circuitry, we transform our thoughts and behaviors, proactively creating healthy new mindsets, skills, and abilities.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Repeated Neural Input
Behaviorist B. F. Skinner claimed that the neural input of information was more important than the amount; he was half right. That was before we realized how repeated neural input results in repeated firing.
Neurons don’t act by themselves but through circuits that strengthen or weaken their connections based on electrical activity. Like muscles, the more repetitions, the more robust the energy of the information.
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is the alleviation of our irrational fears and apprehensions. One of the three approaches or steps we take to achieve that goal is to produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
We accelerate this objective through proactive neuroplasticity—the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of positive information. We further consolidate neural restructuring through active neuroplasticity.
Hemispheric Synchronization
Hemispheric synchronization is the collaboration of our brain’s left and right hemispheres to achieve optimal coherence, i.e., a balanced state of emotional and analytical brain function.
Our emotional quotient (EQ) refers to our ability to perceive, manage, and effectively communicate our emotions. Those of us experiencing social anxiety ostensibly have a low EQ because it requires rational thinking, a faculty anathema to our condition.
Proactive and active neuroplasticity are powerful tools that we harness to achieve hemispheric synchronization. Proactive neuroplasticity, centered in our left-brain hemisphere, is the analytical part responsible for rational thinking. Active neuroplasticity, on the other hand, involves right-hemisphere activity, encompassing intuition, emotions, and creativity. Proactive neuroplasticity taps into the mental and the logical. Active neuroplasticity connects with the expressive and social.
Our response to most harmful information is reactive — our brain’s involuntary response to stimuli we absorb but do not focus on or initiate. Therefore, most information is neurally insignificant. It is not noticed and does not register.
Our neural network receives around two million bits of data per second, but processes roughly 126 bits. If our brain does not register the information, it does not stimulate or alert our receptor neurons, and therefore, does not negatively impact our neural network.
By deliberately and repetitively inputting positive information, we guarantee its noticeability. It registers.
Can we provide an equivalence of positive information to offset the lifetime abundance of negative information? That’s unanswerable. However, equivalence is not the criterion. Our neural network restructures itself around proactive and active neuroplasticity, so we are no longer dealing with the same brain.
Our Neural Network
Neurons are the core components of our brain and central nervous system. They convey information through electrical activity. Information sparks a receptor neuron, a specialized cell that receives and processes this information, which then stimulates postsynaptic neurons.
Postsynaptic neurons, in turn, forward the information to millions of participating neurons, causing a cellular chain reaction in multiple interconnected brain areas.
Hebbian Learning
Hebbian Learning suggests thatthe repeated and persistent stimulation of a presynaptic neural cellincreases the efficiency of the postsynaptic cells that generate the neural chain reaction. This means that the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information expedites learning.
Deliberate Neural Input
A deliberate act is an intentional one. To be proactive is to take action that causes something to happen, rather than responding to it after it has already occurred. We initiate and manage the information, which maintains its noticeability and ensures that the information neurally registers.
Repetition is a key factor in learning. It enhances cognition, enabling more profound and more embedded learning. When we encounter new information, our brain forms weak connections between neurons processing that information. Repetition strengthens these connections and transfers learned information from short-term to long-term memory. Information islearned, relearned, and mastered.
Neural Benefits of Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity activates long-term potentiation, strengthening the connecting pathways and generating more energy. Additionally, the process creates higher levels of BDNF(brain-derived neurotrophic factor) – a protein associated with improved cognitive functioning, mental health, and memory.
The neural chain reaction generated by deliberate repetition reciprocates, in abundance, the energy of the information. Millions of neurons amplify the electrical activity on a massive scale. Positive information and positive energy are returned in abundance. Conversely, negative information is likewise reciprocated. This underscores the value of positive reinforcement.
Chemical Hormones
When the activity of the axon pathways intensifies, the neurotransmission of chemical hormones accelerates, providing us with GABA for relaxation, dopamine for pleasure and motivation, endorphins to boost our self-esteem, and serotonin for a sense of well-being. Acetylcholine supports neuroplasticity, glutamate enhances our memory, and noradrenaline improves concentration.
However, our brain does not distinguish healthy from toxic information. Our neural network transmits chemical hormones in response to negative and positive stimuli. That further emphasizes the importance of positive informational input.
Fight or Flight
Scientists have identified over fifty chemical hormones in the human body. They are the messengers controlling our physiological functions, including metabolism, homeostasis, and reproduction. Their distribution is precise. Even slight changes in levels can cause significant disruption to our physiological and emotional health.
Cortisol, adrenaline, norepinephrine, and other fear and anxiety-provoking hormones trigger the fight or flight response – our automatic reactions to stress. Balanced amounts of these hormones are necessary for our basic survival and, in most cases, beneficial to our overall health and well-being.
However, when we feel threatened, releasing these chemical hormones can have an adverse effect. Positive neuroplasticity mitigates the influx of these adversarial hormones.
Neuroplasticity and Social Anxiety
The process of neuroplasticity is theoretically straightforward but challenging in practice. Active neuroplasticity is intuitive and creative, which is less exacting. Proactive neural restructuring requires a calculated regimen of deliberate, repetitive input that is tedious and fails to deliver immediate tangible results, causing us to readily concede defeat and abandon hope in this era of instant gratification.
We do not don tennis shorts and advance to Wimbledon without decades of practice with rackets and balls. Philharmonics cater to pianists who have spent years at the keyboard.
Once we initiate the recovery process, progress becomes exponential. The onus is on us to decide whether we choose to move forward.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Individuals grappling with social anxiety often find themselves with notably lower implicit and explicit self-esteem compared to those without this condition. Explicit self-esteem is the conscious manifestation of our self-worth, while implicit self-esteem is our subconscious self-evaluation, often manifested in our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).
Maslow’s Hierarchy
For healthy human development, certain preconditions must be met, which play a crucial role in the evolution of our self-esteem. These preconditions include sufficient sleep, a sense of security and safety, familial support, and a nurturing environment – all of which are fundamental to healthy emotional growth.
Abraham Maslow, a pioneer in positive psychology, introduced a hierarchy of optimal human development that identifies five crucial categories: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization.
While he later expanded the list, this discussion centers on the preconditions that significantly impact our self-esteem. Maslow’s primary hierarchical levels establish a clear link between satisfying these preconditions and our psychological development.
Level 1 – Biological and Physiological: air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, and sleep.
Level 3 – Belonginess and Love: family, affection, relationships, social, and group.
Level 4 – Esteem: achievement, responsibility, status, and reputation.
Figure 2 illustrates how deprivation of any of these factors (unmet satisfactions) can be detrimental to a child’s emotional development, which can significantly impact their self-esteem. Concurrently, social anxiety is also in the developmental stage, which adds additional constraints to our self-esteem.
Moreover, a multitude of factors, including our surroundings, sexual orientation, race and ethnicity, and education, play a pivotal role in shaping our self-esteem. Family, colleagues, teachers, and other influential figures significantly contribute to this intricate process, underscoring the complexity of self-esteem formation.
Development within Maslow’s hierarchy is not purely linear, but fluid and individualized, shaped by our unique experiences and environment. A child will have difficulty learning (level 4) if they are hungry (level 1). Without responsible parenting (level 3), they are unlikely to feel safe (level 2).
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Physiological Needs
Physiological needs are the fundamental necessities required for survival and healthy development. They include air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sleep, and health. Deprivation of these disrupts our natural growth and impacts our core beliefs, which are more rigid in SAD persons because we tend to store information consistent with negativity, ignoring evidence that contradicts it.
Safety and Security
Childhood disturbance impacts our safety and security (level 2). Our formative years need order, protection, and stability. Any deprivations stem from the parental unit. Any upheaval can generate negative core beliefs, such as feelings of abandonment, detachment, neglect, or exploitation, leading to distrust of family, authority, and relationships (level 3).
Love and Belongingness
Any insufficiency of love adversely affects our sense of belonging, which in turn challenges interpersonal and social connections. We are societal beings; our fundamental need for connectivity is hardwired into our brains. This lacuna in healthy personal and social interaction manifests in our symptomatic fear and distrust of relationships, as well as our avoidance of social interaction.
Human interconnectedness is a crucial element of both mental and physical health. Research has demonstrated that engaging in healthy social activities can bolster our immune system and shield our brain from neurodegenerative diseases. Positive interpersonal interactions trigger the release of chemical hormones that not only bolster our self-esteem but also enhance learning, concentration, pleasure, and motivation, essential for self-esteem enhancement.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is our awareness of our value and significance to ourselves, society, and the world. It is the recognition and acceptance of our flaws and assets. It defines how we perceive ourselves, how we believe others perceive us, and how we process and present that information.
The rediscovery and deployment of our character strengths, virtues, and accomplishments is a significant catalyst in reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem. Our renewed sense of self-worth and appreciation consolidate our self-esteem.
Awareness and acceptance does not happen overnight, however. It is a long-term, evolving subjective process. While self-esteem enjoys respect and reciprocation from others (status and reputation), it is not defined by the approval of others. Otherwise, it would be labeled other-esteem, which is the reliance on external validation for one’s self-worth.
Healthy Philautia
Philautia is the Greek dichotomy of self-love. At one end of the spectrum is the excessive love of self (narcissism) and, at the other, the recognition and appreciation of self (self-esteem).
Narcissism is a condition in which people function with an inflated and irrational sense of importance, often expressed by haughtiness or arrogance. It is the need for excessive attention and admiration, masking a sense of inferiority and inadequacy. Although we may be uncomfortable with the label, social anxiety carries an unhealthy self-centeredness that approaches narcissism.
Healthy philautia recognizes our value and potential. It realizes that we are necessary to this life and of incomprehensible worth. By embracing ourselves, warts and all, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. This journey inspires us to explore our inner selves and opens us to sharing our authenticity.
To experience joy and fulfillment in one’s self-being is the essence of healthy philautia. Self-esteem is a prerequisite to loving others. This realization prompts us to reflect on our relationships and the role of self-esteem in them. If we cannot appreciate ourselves, we cannot wholly cherish another. It is unfeasible to give away something we do not possess.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Rebuild
Reclaiming is the act of retrieving or recovering something previously lost. To rebuild means to renew or restore something that has been damaged or underutilized. Due to the disruption in our optimal development, many positive self-qualities that contribute to our self-esteem are latent or dormant – underdeveloped or suspended.
These self-qualities are not lost; they are just waiting to be rediscovered and nurtured. Disruption interrupts productivity. It does not destroy it. Just as we can deliberately reinvigorate our muscles by exercising them, we can also deliberately reinvigorate our self-esteem.
Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is to mitigate our fears and apprehensions. Self-empowerment involves rebuilding our self-esteem and motivation. They are complementary. We execute these goals through a three-pronged approach.
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Produce rapid, concentrated neurological stimulation to offset the abundance of information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Symptoms
Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, maintained that social anxiety and depression provoke feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. Until we commit to recovery, we continue to be manipulated by these destructive self-beliefs.
We struggle to build healthy relationships due to difficulties with intimacy, trust, and establishing personal boundaries. We convince ourselves we are incompetent and socially inadequate.
And we compare ourselves unfavorably to others, our expectations of criticism, ridicule, and rejection cause us to avoid personal affinity and collegiality.
There are multiple ways to mitigate the anxiety of negative triggers. Three of the more effective are grounding, positive reframing, and rational response.
Grounding
Grounding is turning attention away from anxiety-provoking thoughts, memories, or worries and refocusing on the present moment. It refers to any technique that brings our attention to the present moment. Whenever we feel anxious or stressed, we can use grounding techniques to distract ourselves from the emotional situation.
This research-based strategy helps us alleviate our situational fears and automatic negative thoughts. If we find ourselves in moments of stress or panic, grounding techniques can help our bodies relax and return to the present moment.
One of the most common grounding techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which grounds us to the moment by reconnecting us to one or more of our five senses. We deliberately focus on objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and our bodies, defusing our emotional distress by distracting from our anxiety.
Reframing
By reframing, we identify our self-esteem issues and revise our perspective on how we experience and respond to them. Positive reframing turns a negative perspective into a positive or neutral one, giving us the control to embrace posibility.
There are always multiple perspectives to any situation. While we may not control everything that happens, we always control how we react and respond. If we have a choice to be positive and happy, then it is illogical not to take advantage of the opportunity.
One example is reframing a problem or issue as a challenge or opportunity. We reframe an argument (and dramatically alleviate frustration and anger) by looking at it from the other’s perspective. In a snowstorm, we can be housebound and despondent, or we can take the sleds and ice skates out of the closet.
Although there may be justification for negative thinking, it is in our interest to reframe our perspective to accelerate and consolidate the positive restructuring of our neural network. Our negative thoughts are unhealthy and nonproductive. Experts agree that positive reframing is critical for emotional well-being.
Rational Response
A rational coping statement is a logical, self-affirming counter to our fears and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). ANTs are the immediate, involuntary emotional responses that occur when we are challenged in a particular situation. They are the unpleasant, self-defeating things we tell ourselves that define who we are, who we think we are, and who we think others think we are.
ANTs are borne of our core and intermediate beliefs and sustained by our negative self-appraisal. Examples of ANTs include: “No one will talk to me.” “I’ll do something stupid.” “I’m a loser.”)
The logical counters to our ANTs are rational responses or ARTs (automatic rational thoughts). For example, in response to the situational fear of adverse criticism, the corresponding ANT might be, “I am inadequate and don’t belong here.” ARTs (automatic rational thoughts could include: “I am entitled to be here as much as anyone,” “I am valuable and significant,” and “I am equal to anyone here.” These rational coping statements boost our confidence in challenging situations.
As we progress in recovery, grounding, positive reframing, and rational coping statements become habitual and automatic. This process instills confidence and motivation, knowing that with practice, these techniques can become second nature, helping us manage our anxiety more effectively.
AI Generated
Identify and Address the Problem
Understanding the source and trajectory of a fear or apprehension is the crucial first step in reframing or rationally responding to it.
1. We identify the situation where our self-esteem is an issue. Where are we? Who is present? What is causing our distress?
2. We unmask our fears and apprehensions. What is problematic for us in the situation? How do we feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally)? What is our specific concern or worry? Are we afraid of rejection? Are we worried we will say something stupid? Or are we concerned others will criticize or ridicule us?
3. We identify our corresponding ANTs. These are the involuntary, emotional, self-defeating expressions of our fears – the self-defeating things we tell ourselves. “No one will talk to me.” I’ll say something stupid.” “I’m a loser.” She’ll reject me.”
4. We examine and analyze our fears and corresponding ANTs. What are the causes, thoughts, and images precipitating them? How do we counter their illogicality?
5. Once we have examined, analyzed, and accepted the self-destructive and unreasonable nature of our fears and corresponding ANTs, we reframe or rationally respond to them.
Reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem and motivation is best accomplished in a workshop environment where we can identify and examine the challenges through personal introspection, memory work, journaling, role-playing, and other tools and techniques.
Even so, we can practice specific tools and strategies independently.
The Character Resume
A character resume is a compilation of our positive qualities, achievements, and memories. Mindfully retrieving and cataloging these qualities compels us to embrace our value, confirming we are desirable, consequential, and worthy.
What goes into our character resume? Anything and everything that activates a positive response, including our strengths, achievements, contributions, personal milestones, happy memories, talents, and charitable deeds.
Character Strengths, Virtues, and Attributes. Due to our negative self-analysis, we tend to repress, misplace, and forget our inherent and developed assets. They are not erased or lost; however, they are compartmentalized from our active consciousness. Renewed mindfulness of these strengths and incorporating them into our daily lives helps rebuild our self-esteem.
Positive Autobiography lists our successes, achievements, and personal milestones. Recollecting and recognizing our accomplishments encourages us to embrace the extraordinariness of our lives.
Positive Personal Affirmations. PPAs are self-motivating, empowering statements that help us focus on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds.
Self-Esteem Self-Analysis. What do we like about ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially?
Generate Completions
A symptom of social anxiety is our expectation of the worst possible consequences of a negative experience. We fear failure and disappointment. We project adverse outcomes through our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). “What if no one talks to me?” “What if they criticize my presentation?” “What if they think I’m a loser?”
We often self-fulfill an adverse outcome to protect ourselves from disappointment because we tend to set unreasonable expectations. Our fears of criticism and ridicule render completions as risks not worth taking.
Completion is an action and a quality of being. It is realization, fulfillment, and resolution. In psychological terms, completions produce a sense of achievement, satisfaction, and closure, making us feel more accomplished.
Worrying about something that hasn’t happened is an exercise in futility and supports our sense of hopelessness. It negatively impacts our entire outlook in life, causing issues of motivation and self-esteem that lead to self-disappointment and underachievement.
In recovery, we recommend graded exposure (systematic desensitization) to counter completion anxiety – the apprehension or discomfort that can occur when faced with a task that needs to be completed. We begin with lower-tiered projects that, if not done to our satisfaction, can lead to self-resentment and disappointment.
Challenge low-priority items we have been putting off, such as clearing out the garage or making that family connection we have been postponing. We attain that sense of achievement and closure that is beneficial to our emotional well-being. Consequently, we free up space in our minds for other ventures.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries establish the standard of treatment to which we believe we are entitled. They define what behaviors towards us are acceptable or unacceptable. Boundaries protect us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations. They enable us to assert our identity, achieve our goals and objectives, and prevent others from manipulating, exploiting, or taking advantage of us.
Knowing and securing our boundaries is a direct result of a healthy sense of self-awareness. It requires self-confidence and a clear recognition of our value and significance. Healthy emotional boundaries prioritize our feelings and needs.
Our social anxiety provokes us to anticipate criticism and ridicule. We obsess over what others think and say about us. Our desire to be accepted makes us reticent to assert our needs and conditions for security and happiness.
Our incapacity to establish, develop, and maintain relationships creates the fear that boundaries limit the possibility of human connection. We worry that self-assertion will bring rejection and isolation. Our negative self-appraisal convinces us we are unworthy.
Rather than saying no, we often overextend ourselves and prioritize the needs of others above our own, which can lead to feelings of resentment and exploitation.
Boundaries are a cornerstone of all healthy relationships. They bring us closer to others by establishing clear understandings of personal values. Defining acceptable behavior fosters communication and self-assurance. When we set boundaries, we take control of our lives, rather than allowing others to dictate our choices.
Defense Mechanisms
Defensemechanisms are temporary safeguards against situations that challenge our conscious minds. They are unconscious and automatic psychological responses designed to protect us from our fears and apprehensions.
We overcompensate, deny, repress, and rationalize our feelings. We project our behaviors onto others rather than confronting them, and we displace our guilt by kicking the dog.
Cognitive Distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that perpetuate our anxiety and depression. We twist reality to reinforce or justify our toxic thoughts and behaviors. Social anxiety paints an inaccurate picture of the self in the world with others.
The number of cognitive distortionsranges substantially. Thirteen are particularly adept at subverting our self-esteem, including:
Polarized thinking. In polarized thinking, we perceive things as absolute – black or white. There is no middle ground, no compromise. We are either brilliant or abject failures. Our friends are for us or against us. Worse than our anxiety about criticism is our self-judgment. We must be broken and inept if we are not flawless and masterful. There is no room for mistakes or mediocrity.
Filtering. When we filter, we focus on the negative aspects of our lives, fixating on situations and memories that support our defeatist self-appraisal. This creates an emotional imbalance due to the exclusion of healthy thoughts and behaviors. We view ourselves, the world, and our future through an unforgiving lens.
Emotional Reasoning.Emotional reasoning occurs when we make judgments and decisions based solely on our feelings, relying on our emotions or instincts over objective evidence. At the root of this cognitive distortion is the belief that what we feel must be true. If we feel like a loser, then we must be a loser. If we feel incompetent, then we must be incapable. And if we make a mistake, we must be stupid.
Self-Labeling. When we label an individual or group, we reduce them to a single, usually negative, characteristic or descriptor based on a single event or behavior. When we self-label, we sustain our negative self-appraisal. Negative self-labeling supports our sense of incompetence and undesirability, and our subsequent behaviors ostensibly support those labels.
We are consumed and conditioned by negative words. Some of us use the exact destructive words over and over again. The more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us.
It is not just the words we say out loud in criticism and conversations. The self-annihilating words we silently call ourselves are even more destructive. Would you, in good conscience, say these words to a friend or loved one? If you wouldn’t badmouth someone else, why do it to yourself?
Avoid shouldas and wouldas. Negative absolutes like no one, nobody, nothing, and nowhere substantiate our isolation and avoidance of relationships. Qualifiers such as maybe and perhaps devalue our commitment, while our negative self-appraisal, expressed by can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t, provokes our sense of incompetence and inferiority.
It is prudent to become mindful of and eliminate these types of words from our thoughts and vocabulary.
Self-Appreciation
Self-appreciationis not just about feeling good about ourselves. It’s about actively accelerating our self-improvement journey. By being mindful of our good qualities, efforts, and achievements, we can dramatically reinvigorate our self-esteem. This, in turn, accelerates and consolidates our neural restructuring.
Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Recognize all the good things you accomplish daily. Appreciate yourself by doing something nice for yourself every day.
We are responsible for our emotional well-being and overall quality of life. We are accountable for rebuilding our self-esteem. Self-esteem is the catalyst for self-appreciation, which in reciprocation consolidates self-esteem.
We take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. We embrace our worth and potential, championing them in others and making them feel valued and significant.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
We all wear a kind of mask or personafor different situations that hide our insecure feelings and flaws, presenting a polished, controlled face to specific conditions. In psychology, the term “persona” refers to the social guise that we present to the world. In essence, our persona is a compromise between our current psychological state and societal expectations, such as being confident, approachable, or professional.
Just as actors assume different roles, we all have our portfolio of personas that we unveil depending on the situation. If effective, our personas make us more relatable and accepted in social settings.
Purpose of a Persona
For those experiencing social anxiety, a compelling persona is designed to make a positive impression while concealing the nature of our condition. Developingpersonas as coping mechanisms helps us prepare for and adapt to multiple exposure situations. For instance, if we have a fear of public speaking, we can present a confident and articulate persona to our audience, thereby reducing our fears and anxiety.
Jung’s Archetype
Carl Jung claimed the persona as one of his primary archetypes – inherited patterns of identity that significantly influence human behavior. These archetypes are deeply ingrained in our psyche and influence how we perceive and interact with the world.
According to Jung, developing a viable social persona is a vital part of adapting to and preparing for adult life in the external social world, which is a powerful coping mechanism for those of us experiencing social anxiety.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Stanislavski’s Method
Personas have been part of culture since the pre-Roman days. The word itself is Latin and refers to masks worn by the Etruscan mimes, circa 600 B.C.E. Personas were adopted by Konstantin Stanislavski, who lived around the same time as Jung, who developed them as a method for actors to inhabit their roles.
Adaptability
Our personas are not fixed, but rather adapt to the context in which we find ourselves. They establish our body language and determine how we carry ourselves, the timbre of our voice, attitude, and dress. This adaptability empowers us to navigate different situations with confidence and control, making us feel more in charge of our social interactions.
Situations
A situation, in the context of social anxiety, is the set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a specific place.
Feared Situationsare situations that provoke our fears and anxieties. These are individually specific. It might be a social event, the office, the family dinner, or the barbershop. Anticipated and recurring situations are those situations that we know in advance provoke our fears and anxieties, while unexpected situations are intrusive and unanticipated.
Personas as a Coping Mechanism
In recovery, we deliberately formulate personas as coping mechanisms utilized to alleviate the stress of a situation. Personas constructively mask our social anxiety.
It is a coping mechanism designed to make an impression, e.g., one of confidence or insouciance, while concealing the physical and emotional symptoms of our condition. It can be used as an adaptive affirmation of our composure or self-command.
Moreover, personas serve as a coping distraction, reducing the influx of fear and anxiety-provoking hormones. A well-crafted persona can reveal our inherent strengths, which social anxiety may have obscured, thereby helping us reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem.
An Extension of the Self
While some may identify the persona as separate or differentiated from the authentic self, our persona is not inauthentic but a divergent and healthy aspect of the genuine self. Adopting a healthy persona does not conceal our true nature but presents another facet of our personality. Our persona is not a departure from our true self, but an extension of it.
The Social Psychology of Dress
Persona is a component of the Social Psychology of Dress, which is a field concerned with how our dress appearance affects our behavior and that of others toward us. It examines how our outward appearance, encompassing our clothing and grooming choices, affects our self-perception and the perception of others. Think about how you behave in various environments (work, home, social gatherings). What traits do you showcase?
Our outward appearance mirrors our internal vision of who we want to present ourselves as. Persona is more than an image or affectation. It is the attitude and performance that reflect our internal vision.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Self-Complexity Theory
Based on the self-complexity theory, individuals create or embellish their identity to navigate life more effectively. Creating personas is a powerful tool that allows us to harness our diverse range of personalities, putting us in the driver’s seat of our social interactions.
The self-complexity theory posits that an individual with multiple and unique self-aspects will have greater and healthier self-complexity than one who has only a few self-aspects. For our purposes, we will define self-complexities as personas.
Personas as Aspects of our Identity
Multiple personas are not an indicator of identity loss. Personas are not other selves distinct from who we are, but different aspects of our identity. A persona is not entirely who we are; it’s a part of us that we choose to show.
To analogize, all the clothes in our wardrobe belong to us, but we choose an outfit for a specific occasion to appeal to our sense of self. The same pattern of thought-driven choice establishes our persona.
Positive Impact of Personas
The direct link between our behavior and our emotions is undeniable. Research has shown that even attempting a smile can alter our mood. Moreover, it signals our brain to release, among other hormones, GABA for relaxation, dopamine for motivation, endorphins to boost self-esteem, and serotonin for a sense of well-being. Just imagine the positive impact a well-crafted persona can have on our self-esteem.
The ‘Act As If’ Technique
Revealing personas is not just about managing social anxiety but about enhancing our overall well-being. As William James famously wrote, “If you want a quality, act as if you already have it.” In psychology, the ‘Act As If Technique’ is designed to inspire us to adopt the mindset and behaviors of the person we choose to present during a social situation. This approach can lead to a more positive and hopeful outlook on life, motivating and inspiring us to strive for a better self.
In recovery, we consciously determine and project positive outcomes to our efforts. Which helps build self-confidence and modify our behavior to support the end result.
Projected Positive Outcome
A projected positive outcome is an optimistic outcome scenario. We determine the probability of success and project our outcome accordingly. What can we reasonably achieve? What would satisfy our efforts? And what would leave us with a sense of pride and accomplishment? Their reasonableness guarantees success, avoiding disappointment and self-recrimination.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
Our personas reflect the version of ourselves we strive to become. Acting as if something will occur is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a form of the ‘fake it till you make it’ technique, where we promote positive aspects of ourselves to enhance our persona. To fake it is to pretend to be capable and confident; to make it means our persona effectively supports our goals.
We develop our persona as a coping mechanism for a specific situation. For example, we may adopt the persona of a gregarious and approachable character to compensate for our fear of attending a social event.
Our persona is an extension of ourselves, influenced by the demands of the situation. We design it to instill self-confidence while presenting that same confidence to others. This process helps us alleviate fear and anxiety, boosting our positivity in social interactions.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Social Anxiety is Not Our Fault – Assuming We Take Steps to Recover
Evidence is irrefutable that childhood disturbance is a significant factor in the development of emotional instability and insecurity.
While the phrase evokes images of apparent abuse, childhood disturbance is a broad term ostensibly involving trauma that hinders optimal physical, cognitive, emotional, or social development.
This can include experiences such as neglect, emotional or physical abuse, witnessing violence, or even more subtle forms of trauma, like a sudden change in the family structure or a significant loss.
When researching the origins of childhood disturbance, the likelihood that no one is directly responsible becomes evident. Consequently, blaming is a futile and irretrievable waste of energy. The disturbance may have been a one-time occurrence or a series of events. It may have been accidental or intentional, real or imagined.
I remember the giant tractor that terrified my childhood dreams before I discovered the encroaching engine noise was the pulsation of blood in my eardrum. The fear was real, the event imagined, but was it traumatic? Perhaps not in this case, but the suggestibility of a child is legendary.
A toddler whose parental quality time is disrupted by a phone call may develop a sense of abandonment or neglect, which can instigate social anxiety.
It is crucial, as we begin recovery, to relieve ourselves of the responsibility of inducing our condition. We did not make social anxiety happen. It happened to us.
This sociological model of blamelessness conflicts with moral models claiming our behaviors are responsible or that it is God’s punishment for sin. Those beliefs are sadly misinformed. Childhood trauma is not our fault. SAD is a consequence of childhood trauma.
So, let’s give up our sackcloth and self-flagellation. It’s time to stop beating ourselves up for something that’s not our causal fault.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Notwithstanding …
While we are not to blame for the infliction of our condition, the responsibility for recovery lies with us. We may not be accountable for the cards we were dealt in childhood, but we are responsible for how we play the hand we are left holding as adults.
Statistics
Roughly 124 million U.S. adults and adolescents experience anxiety disorders. 60% of those have depression, and many resort to substance abuse. Anxiety and depression are the primary causes of the notable increase in adolescent suicide over the last decade, a trend that underscores the urgent need for effective mental health interventions.
An estimated 40 million U.S. adults experience a social anxiety disorder, and roughly one in three college students has a lifetime anxiety disorder diagnosis. Social anxiety is not a rare condition; it is universal and indiscriminate, and our experiences are valid.
The negative cycle in which those of us with social anxiety find ourselves convinces us that there is something wrong with us when the only thing we’re doing is viewing ourselves and the world wrong – a unique symptom of our condition.
Causes of Social Anxiety
Emotional malfunctions such as the various strains of anxiety and depression are hereditary, environmental, or, in most cases, the result of trauma. The onset of social anxiety is not a result of our actions or choices. With rare exceptions like later-life PTSD or clinical narcissism, the susceptibility to emotional malfunction originates in childhood.
The continuation of our irrational thoughts, behaviors, and negative self-appraisal results from our inability or unwillingness to remedy the problem. Many experiencing social anxiety cling to a willful pursuit of ignorance, choosing to remain oblivious to SAD’s destructive capabilities as if, by ignoring them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
Taking responsibility for recovery is not a burden; it is an opportunity to alleviate the symptoms and traits that significantly impact our emotional well-being. It’s a chance to regain control and lead a more fulfilling life.
We can hold onto shame and guilt for having social anxiety, but they are false assumptions. The condition originates before we have the wherewithal to make an informed choice. Still, internal blaming remains prevalent.
Even when aware that we bear no responsibility for its origins, we tend to blame our behaviors on perceived character deficiencies and shortfalls rather than the symptoms of our disorder.
Social anxiety disorder thrives on adverse self-appraisal brought on by negative core and intermediate beliefs. Our symptoms prompt us to label ourselves as inadequate, incompetent, or unattractive.
Until we respond rationally to our fears and social avoidance, we resort to defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies designed to protect us from threats to our emotional well-being. We deny, avoid, or compensate rather than identify the problem. We rationalize our behaviors, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
The Static Versus Dynamic SAD Individual
The acronym SAD is highly appropriate. Experiencing social anxiety makes us unhappy. It saddens us.
I believe there are two distinctive types of individuals experiencing SAD: the Static and the Dynamic. The static SAD individual is immobilized, seemingly trapped in their distressing state, either unable or unwilling to break free. In stark contrast, Dynamic SAD individuals are in a constant state of flux, actively seeking ways to manage their condition and enhance their lives.
In his extensive examination of anxiety and depression, Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, posited that anxiety and depression generate feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness.
The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. These negative self-attributions make us feel undeserving of recovery.
Additionally, many motivated towards treatment indicate an inability to afford it due to SAD-induced financial and employment instability. The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety disorder in the U.S. is related to SAD-provoked job inefficiency and instability, greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and frequent job changes.
Individuals with SAD are more likely to be less educated, unmarried, and have lower socioeconomic status.
That being said, numerous discussion groups and recovery programs are available. ReChanneling offers scholarship support, and the weekly cost of the recovery program is less than the cost of a theatrical release and a box of popcorn.
The Dynamic SAD Individual
The Dynamic SAD individual is not resigned to their condition. Instead, we are actively engaged in our recovery, demonstrating resilience and determination. Here are some characteristics of the Dynamic SAD individual who inspires us with their courage and commitment to change.
The Dynamic SAD individual overcomes overwhelming hopelessness with renewed optimism, embracing possibility over the inconceivable. We subvert our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance, courage, and determination.
Our confidence makes us approachable, which mitigates any irrational sense of undesirability. We are aware of our value and significance.
The Dynamic SAD individual does not confront their fears; they embrace them. Instead of meeting them with hostility or competing with hubris, we willingly and enthusiastically acknowledge and accept them as challenges that we can resolve rationally.
Our experiences are, and always will be, part of our identity. Accepting them fosters self-love and paves the way for transformation.
Embracing our condition is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning; it is a genuine acceptance. It’s accepting who we are – imperfect beings with strengths, shortcomings, and vulnerabilities.
We embrace our totality, and in doing so, we enable ourselves to change. This acceptance is not about giving in; it’s about taking control and owning our destiny.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not just a problem-solver; we are creative thinkers. We are not just risk-takers; we are bungee jumpers. We are not just energetic; we are passionate. And we are not just self-empowered; we are the masters of our domain.
We are curious and adventurous because we have embarked on a journey of discovery. We have opened our minds to new concepts and perspectives. And we are flexible and adaptable because those are the qualities of someone who fearlessly challenges what may lie ahead.
We are Not Worthless
It’s important to remember that we are not worthless but integral and consequential to all things, distinctive in every aspect. There is no other like us. We are the totality of our experiences, beliefs, perceptions, demands, and desires with unique DNA, fingerprints, and outer ears.
There is and never has been a human being with our sensibilities, memories, motivations, and dreams. This uniqueness is what makes us valuable and significant.
We are not defined by our social anxiety disorder but by our character strengths, virtues, and achievements. When we break a leg, we don’t become the broken limb; we experience the discomfort of a broken bone. The same logic applies to our condition.
We are not our symptoms and traits. We are individuals experiencing the distress of an annoying mental health condition. This understanding liberates us from the shackles of our condition, allowing us to live our lives independent of SAD with a sense of pride and satisfaction.
SAD sustains itself by inflicting anxiety and fear, but they have no power on their own. We fuel them; we give them authority. Social anxiety is not our fault, assuming we take steps to recover.
We control our emotional well-being and quality of life, and only we can compel change. The onus of recovery is on us.
We have the means to mitigate our symptoms dramatically, and not taking advantage of recovery is irrational. Our unwillingness to remedy the situation is the only legitimate cause for self-accusation.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Much is written about the irrational thoughts, behaviors, and social shortcomings that afflict individuals experiencing social anxiety —social anxiety disorder. There is far less documentation about the social and cognitive benefits generated by recovery. Neuroplasticity is the brain’s remarkable ability to adapt and reorganize itself, creating new mindsets, skills, and abilities. The deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information triggers long-term potentiation, strengthening neuron connections and generating more energy. Neuroplasticity produces the BDNF gene (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor), which provides instructions for making a protein that helps regulate synaptic plasticity —a crucial process for improved cognitive functioning, mental health, learning, and memory.
Additionally, neuroplasticity helps reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem, augmenting emotional regulation while releasing chemical hormones associated with relaxation, concentration, and motivation, thereby reducing the dominance of fear and anxiety-provoking hormones.
The following brief review is a combination of articles, which I have revised and broadened in perspective.
Social and Cognitive Benefits of Social Anxiety
Attuned Listening Skills
People recovering from social anxiety have developed exceptional listening skills. As we rebuild our self-esteem, we become more attentive to the concerns of others. Our communication skills become more responsive to their needs, interests, and desires. Attentive listening supports relationships built on shared experiences and personal disclosure.
Our heightened sensitivity to criticism enables us to perceive subtle cues in communication, allowing us to respond more effectively. Our nonverbal body language accounts for roughly sixty to ninety percent of communication. Most people are unaware of how gestures, postures, and facial expressions reveal emotions, needs, desires, prejudices, and aversions. Understanding positive body language fosters deep connections and understanding.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Empathy
The same sensitivity that makes social situations challenging has made us notably empathetic. We understand what it feels like to be uncomfortable, overlooked, or misunderstood because we’ve experienced those feelings ourselves. Empathy is a deep understanding that fosters strong interconnectivity with others. It is interactive and heightened communication that involves verbal, non-verbal, and intuitive (e.g., dispositions and attitudes). When we interact empathetically, we seek first to understand rather than be understood.
Written Communication
Some individuals experiencing social anxiety initially find speaking overwhelming. Writing is a more effective means of communication, especially in recovery. Written communication provides a space where we can articulate our thoughts without interruption, craft our message as intended, and communicate without the pressure of criticism. The journaling and critical introspection necessary for recovery generate highly developed skills in written communication.
Problem-Solving Skills
Recovery from social anxiety equips us with exceptional problem-solving skills. To overcome our irrational thoughts and behaviors, we develop coping strategies and rational responses. This process of examining and analyzing our stress triggers and intrusive thoughts hones our ability to find solutions.
Additionally, in a recovery program, we work with a small group of like individuals who share their problems and concerns. Not only are we responsible for resolving our own challenges, but we also work with our colleagues to provide understanding and beneficial solutions, making us adept problem solvers.
Preparation
Confucius tells us that “Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation, there is sure to be failure.” People in recovery develop complex coping and preparation skills to address their irrational thoughts and behaviors. Before meetings, social gatherings, or even casual conversations, we anticipate what might happen, develop logical reactions and responses, and calculate potential outcomes. This level of preparation helps us manage the uncertainty of social situations as we become adept at extensive preparation and follow-through.
Loyalty
Establishing and maintaining healthy relationships is challenging for people experiencing social anxiety. Reclaiming and rebuilding self-esteem, as well as reintegrating into society, requires renewed self-confidence and recognition of our value and significance. The byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-compassion, a profound sense of awareness and caring that we inherently extend to others. As compassionate social beings, we are driven to pay it forward, supporting and connecting with others.
Due to years of loneliness and isolation, the relationships we form and establish with others run deep. We understand the challenges of building meaningful relationships. This makes us particularly sensitive and loyal to colleagues and others facing similar relationship challenges. That is a wonderful consequence of recovery. We take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. We learn to value ourselves and recognize our importance in the lives of others.
Thinking Before Speaking
In social situations, we often avoid conversation out of fear of criticism and rejection. Simple coping mechanisms, such as slow talking, controlled breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation, help slow our physiological responses, making communication easier and more confident. Slow talk, for example, is easy to implement and helps control our breathing, as well as manage our vagus nerve, the part of our parasympathetic nervous system that calms us in uncomfortable situations.
By incorporating the 5-second rule, which encourages a thoughtful pause before responding, we convey a sense of confidence and self-assurance. This enables us to control our response by giving us time to prepare appropriately. We develop the habit of carefully considering our words before sharing them. This thoughtfulness stems from a heightened awareness of how words impact others. We know from personal experience how careless comments or observations can linger long after a conversation ends, so we avoid causing that kind of discomfort to someone else.
Awareness of the Discomfort of Others
Our experiences with social discomfort have given us a unique ability to detect when others have similar feelings. We recognize when someone feels out of place, overwhelmed, or anxious in a social setting—the slightly forced smile, the defensive body language, the gradual withdrawal from conversation. These cues, which might go unnoticed by others, are immediately apparent to us, making us valuable allies in social situations. Our heightened empathy allows us to understand and respond to these cues, highlighting our perceptive nature and enhancing our ability to support others.
Trustworthiness
People with social anxiety innately understand the vulnerability involved in sharing personal information. Our reticence to self-disclose engenders respect for others’ privacy and confidence. When someone shares something sensitive, we treat that information with the same care we expect from others with whom we share our private thoughts and feelings. This trustworthiness enables us to establish a safe space for open communication, fostering understanding and respect in our relationships.
Planning and Organization
Our social anxiety has honed our ability to plan and organize. By devising plans for feared situations, we learned to anticipate potential issues and create structures that help reduce uncertainty. Whether it’s planning a small gathering or managing a complex project, we consider details and possible conflicts that others might overlook. This skill is a valuable strength that we bring to any situation.
Finding Solutions Amidst Conflict
Our sensitivity to tension motivates us to resolve conflict dispassionately and productively. While disagreements make many uncomfortable, our heightened awareness motivates us to find avenues of compromise and resolution rather than letting tensions simmer. We are skilled at identifying the core issues beneath disagreements and finding common ground that supports mutual satisfaction. This proactive approach empowers us to navigate social situations with confidence and understanding.
Mentoring and Supporting Others
Our experiences navigating social challenges have granted a unique wisdom that we share with others facing similar situations. We understand from the inside what it feels like to struggle with social confidence, which makes us particularly empathetic and effective when supporting others on similar journeys. We can offer strategies and perspectives that come from experience, providing a unique and valuable perspective in mentoring relationships.
Resourcefulness Under Pressure
Our experience managing internal pressure in social situations made us adept at handling external pressure. We’ve developed techniques for remaining functional even when feeling overwhelmed by using coping mechanisms, breaking challenges into manageable steps, or finding alternative approaches. These strategies serve us well when facing any type of stressful situation, inspiring others with our resilience.
In Closing, Let me Say This.
The transformation in individuals undergoing recoveryfrom social anxiety is extraordinary. I cannot overemphasize the profound and positive changes in our self-appraisal and perspective.
Unfortunately, many people experiencing social anxiety possess a fierce reluctance to commit to treatment. One of the primary reasons for this reticence is the intense and unwarranted level of shame and guilt we carry for our condition.
Additionally, many deliberately choose to remain ignorant of SAD’s destructive capabilities or go to enormous lengths to remain oblivious to them, as if, by denying them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
It’s crucial to remember that social anxiety is not a horrific burden if we choose to challenge it. The social and cognitive benefits of recovery are powerful and abundant.
Two types of people experience social anxiety. Dynamic individuals are constantly engaged in change and progress, actively seeking ways to manage their condition and improve their lives. Conversely, static SAD individuals stay stuck in their condition, unable or unwilling to escape.
Dynamic individuals are engaging, evolving, and seeking ways to manage their condition. Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
When faced with challenges or obstacles, it can be tempting to abandon the struggle and admit defeat. Dynamic individuals stay focused and persevere until they reach their goal. Stay the course.It becomes exponentially easier as you progress. The social and cognitive benefits of social anxiety are the inherent endowments of your recovery.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs aimed at (1) alleviating symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) helping individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Are We Repressing, Suppressing, Denying, or Regressing?
This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.
Our deeply ingrained negative self-appraisal, provoked by social anxiety, can be emotionally challenging for our minds to manage. To neutralize this, we develop defense mechanisms, unconscious strategies designed to protect us from threats to our emotional well-being.
We deny, avoid, or compensate rather than identify the problem. We rationalize ourthoughts and behaviors, project them onto others, or displace them by kicking the dog.
Defense Mechanisms
When used as temporary safeguards, defense mechanisms provide an escape from situations that conflict with the self-image we create to sustain our mental stability. In fact, without defense mechanisms, we are susceptible to decompensation – a serious condition in which we are unable to cope with stress effectively, leading to a breakdown in our ability to function coherently.
Most defense mechanisms are healthy safeguards when dealing with transient trauma, but psychologically problematic when we persistently use them as strategies to avoid facing reality.
Recovery involves examining and analyzing how we exploit defense mechanisms to sustain our irrational thoughts and behaviors. By doing so, we become conscious of our escapisms and devise coping mechanisms to counteract them.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Six defense mechanisms are particularly pertinent to social anxiety: compensation (overachieving to conceal our feelings of inadequacy), denial (refusing to acknowledge a problem), displacement (taking our frustrations out on others), dissociation (mentally distancing ourselves from unmanageable situations), projection (attributing our defects to others), and the associated triad of repression, suppression, and regression.
It’s the last three that we focus on in this writing.
Many confuse repression with regression. Repression is a process where we unknowingly suppress traumatic memories or thoughts that our minds find too challenging to handle. In psychology, repression refers to the process by which we prevent specific thoughts, memories, or feelings from surfacing into conscious awareness.
While repression may shield us from immediate distress, it’s crucial to understand that continuing exposure can lead to enduring psychological issues. These self-concealed memories and emotions, buried in our unconscious, subtly shape our thoughts and actions.
For instance, a repressed memory of a past failure could breed self-doubt in similar situations, or a buried traumatic event might introduce us to specific triggers without our conscious knowledge.
These events can stir up anxiety, stress, and depression, underscoring the profound and potentially long-term implications of repression on our mental health. It’s essential to address these issues to prevent them from developing into enduring psychological problems.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Suppression
Suppression is a voluntary form of repression. It’s a deliberate choice to subdue painful thoughts and memories to deal with them at a more appropriate time. This conscious control over our thoughts and emotions is a powerful tool in recovery, as it enables us to address and resolve the issues that have been temporarily suppressed.
Suppression and Dissociation
The distinction between suppression and dissociation in recovery is also essential to understand. Suppression is a conscious choice to postpone dealing with specific distressing thoughts and behaviors. Dissociation, as used in recovery, is a deliberate decision to mentally separate ourselves from the symptoms of our condition to address them dispassionately and objectively.
Understanding these nuances can provide a deeper insight into our psychological processes during recovery, making us more knowledgeable and better equipped to handle our emotional issues.
Repression and Denial
Repression is often confused with the defense mechanism, denial, in which we refuse to admit to unacceptable thoughts and behaviors, even with evidence to the contrary. Denial involves a conscious refusal to accept the truth.
For example, a person in denial about their addiction may disacknowledge their problem despite clear evidence. Repression, on the other hand, involves unconscious mental dismissal. It’s like the mind’s way of protecting us from overwhelming trauma by temporarily pushing it out of conscious awareness.
Repression and Regression
We often conflate regression with repression. Regression is reverting to an earlier or less mature stage of psychological development, where we feel safe from emotional conflict. Repression is a psychological attempt to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires.
Both are psychological attempts to unconsciously forget or block distressing memories, thoughts, or desires. However, regression is a more severe psychological issue that requires specialized treatment, something a traditional recovery program does not adequately provide.
How do we identify the defense mechanisms we use to avoid dealing with our enduring or precipitating issues? We want to ask ourselves, are we repressing, suppressing, denying, or deliberately dissociating? The earlier stage of psychosexual development that identifies regression will require more specialized help.
It’s a bit like recognizing a familiar face in a crowd. You may not be able to explain exactly how you know, but you do. Similarly, we learn to recognize our defense mechanisms when we see them in action.
This suggests, correctly, that increased self-awareness is necessary to identify, comprehend, and accept our use of defense mechanisms to avoid facing the true nature of our traumatic thoughts and experiences. It’s important to note that during the recovery process, we learn specific coping skills that help reduce our mental and emotional reliance on defense mechanisms.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs aimed at (1) alleviating symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) helping individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Overgeneralization, Jumping to Conclusions & Catastrophizing
This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.
Three closely aligned cognitive distortions are all derived from our compulsion to dramatize our conclusions about situations. Overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions and catastrophizing arethe engine, car, and caboose of our exaggerated reactions to common situations.
Let’s take an example from our social anxiety. We overgeneralize that a failed relationship means every other effort will generate the same negative response. We then promptly conclude that we will never experience a healthy relationship. The catastrophic belief is that we will become isolated and friendless, with multiple cats to keep us company.
These three closely related cognitive distortions are broad, unsubstantiated, and ostensibly inaccurate subjective projections. Here’s how we tell them apart.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Overgeneralization
We overgeneralizewhen we drawconclusions that exceed what could be logically explained, usually applying statistics from a small sample size to a larger population.
The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.
Overgeneralizing happens when we make exaggerated claims about something or someone without evidence. We make false conclusions based on limited or inaccurate information. Convinced that a negative experience or behavior applies to similar situations, whether or not the circumstances are comparable.
We assume an isolated behavior represents an entire group, which leads to stereotyping. We view a one-time incident as a never-ending pattern of regularity, disputing the potential for behavioral change. Moreover, we disregard evidence that disputes our findings.
Like filtering, where we ignore the positive and dwell on the negative, overgeneralization supports our SAD-induced tendency to assume the worst of an incident or behavior, usually due to prior experience. So ‘once’ becomes ‘many,’ ‘sometimes becomes always,’ and ‘possibly’ becomes ‘probably.’
For example, because the sushi made us ill, all East Asian restaurants are unhealthy.
These irrational conclusions prevent us from placing ourselves in similar situations where we assume a bad experience will repeat itself. Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are usually overgeneralizations.
If we feel rejected at a social gathering, we may conclude, “I am undesirable. No one will ever like me,” which supports the likelihood that we will suspect and avoid future social situations
We overgeneralize when we claim that all politicians are corrupt or all priests are pedophiles based on small representations. Outlaw gangs often ride motorcycles. Therefore, the couple on the Harley-Davidson must be members of an outlaw gang. These are all instances of overgeneralization that we encounter in our daily lives.
Overgeneralization can make it difficult to establish and maintain relationships. Our condition makes establishing and maintaining relationships difficult, and they often fail, making us consider all potential relationships too risky. A mistake at work might repeat itself and lead to overgeneralizing our ineffectiveness, hindering our professional growth. This cycle of negative self-appraisal further damages our already fragile self-esteem.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusionsinvolves makingbroad and inaccurate conjectures that unsubstantiated by evidence.
The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he enjoys heavy metal.
When we overgeneralize, we infer that a single behavior or incident indicates a pattern. Jumping to conclusions occurs when we make a broad assumption based on a particular behavior or incident despite having evidence to the contrary. Most of the symptoms of our condition are examples of jumping to conclusions.
Our negative core beliefs and self-appraisal compel us to jump to conclusions. We assume that we will embarrass or humiliate ourselves during a situation because we feel stupid. We jump to the conclusion that no one will talk to us because the shame of our condition makes us want to hide. And we avoid companionship and intimacy because we jump to the conclusion that we are undesirable.
Jumping to conclusions implies we are telepathic and clairvoyant. Our projection of adverse outcomes makes us fortune tellers and mind readers. Fortune telling is a type of cognitive distortion where we predict adverse outcomes. We symptomatically focus on the worst-case scenario and the probability of disaster. We become faux mind-readers when we conclude we are subject to criticism and ridicule.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Catastrophizing
When we catastrophize, we assume the worst by imagining a situation potentially more disastrous than logic dictates.
The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.
Chicken Little was plucking worms in the henyard when an acorn dropped from a tree onto her head. She immediately assumed the worst. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling,” she clucked hysterically.
Catastrophizing compels us to conclude that the worst-case scenario has or will occur when specific things happen rather than considering plausible explanations. It is the irrational assumption that something is or will be far worse than reasonably probable. We prophesize the worst and twist reality to support our projection.
For instance, if our significant other has a bad week, we might conclude that the relationship is in jeopardy (external control), leading to behaviors that could instigate such an outcome. We catastrophize by convincing ourselves that divorce is imminent and we will never find love again.
If we receive a disappointing grade on a test, we may conclude that we will fail the course. Or catastrophize that we will never graduate. If our manager isn’t happy with how we performed a task, we might jump to the conclusion that we will not be promoted or convince ourselves that we will lose our jobs and will never work again.
If we experiencemigraines or abdominal pain, we might decide to rest up or see a physician if the pain continues. Convincing ourselves that we have a brain tumor or a ruptured appendix is catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing is not just a cognitive distortion; it’s paralyzing. It limits our interactivity and social engagement because we are on the cusp of disaster. Catastrophizing prevents us from trying new things and experiencing life to the fullest. It shuts out possibilities. It limits our ability to establish, develop, and maintain healthy relationships. Understanding the paralyzing effect of catastrophizing is the first step towards overcoming it and living a more fulfilling life.
One of the four central core beliefs associated with social anxiety and depression is our sense of helplessness. This perceived impotence, if left unchecked, can become a learned behavior developed through repetition and experience.
We express learned helplessness when we convince ourselves that if we lack control over some experience in the past, we will never have control over it. It’s crucial to recognize and address the self-destructive nature of our perceived impotence to regain control over our assumptions and conclusions.
To Encapsulate
Overgeneralization: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.
Jumping to Conclusions: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he listens to heavy metal.
Catastrophizing: The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.
Solutions
The obvious suggestion is to stop blowing things out of proportion. That’s easier said than done, and given our condition, it’s prudent to repeatedly instruct our neural network to focus on common-sense thinking.
Recognizing the irrationality of these assumptions is the first step to challenging and changing them.When we overgeneralize, jump to conclusions, and catastrophize, we prophesize potential adverse outcomes and shape our behaviors to ensure they happen.
By devising rational explanations, we can break this cycle
Our desire for stability causes us to seek certainty and predictability. Our anxiety flourishes in fearful or unfamiliar situations. This is because our ‘fight-or-flight response,’ a natural reaction to stress, compels us to make rash and careless assumptions without considering other possibilities and perspectives.
It is essential to remain vigilant that cognitive distortions may support our twisted interpretations, such as believing ‘I’m a failure’ after a minor setback, and validate our irrational thoughts and behaviors, like avoiding social situations due to fear of judgment. Still, their inaccuracies perpetuate our anxiety and depression. By considering other possibilities and perspectives, such as ‘I may have made a mistake, but it doesn’t define me’ or ‘Others may not be judging me as harshly as I think’, we can challenge these distortions.
There are simple and obvious steps we can take to eliminate these distortions.
Justify our conclusions with evidence. What research and data support them? Do we truly know anything about the subject? What fears, experiences, and prejudices initiated these conclusions? Perhaps our obsession with rejection rejecting us compels us to attack first as a form of self-defense. This critical thinking is crucial in combating these emotional distortions.
Place ourselves in the shoes of those we subject to inaccurate and derogatory accusations. How do we feel when the tables are turned, as they invariably are when we succumb to our SAD-induced fears of criticism and ridicule?
Assess the situation and consider plausible explanations and other perspectives. Respond rationally rather than emotionally.We have the power to stop these negative thought patterns. We identify them, write them down, analyze their irrationality, and produce common-sense solutions.
Practice basic self-care. These irrational conclusions are more likely to materialize during periods of fatigue or stress. Basic self-care practices, such as getting enough sleep and eating properly, exercising regularly, connecting with nature, and taking time to reflect with gratitude on the positive aspects of our lives, can help us feel more emotionally balanced.
By prioritizing self-care, we show ourselves the care and attention we deserve, which can help manage unproductive thoughts.
Stop overthinking. When we overthink, we obsess, engaging in repetitive and unproductive thoughts. We make mountains out of molehills. Overthinking is a hindrance to personal development because it entails ruminating about our past habits and failures, whereas recovery is a here-and-now solution that will positively impact the future.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts or reality unless we make them so.
Compassion can help us see situations through the other’s perspective, reducing our tendency to distort the accuracy of the situation. Critical thinking will challenge our assumptions to avoid distorting our conclusions.
As we progress, we become acutely aware (identify, comprehend, and accept) our perverse idiosyncrasies. We recognize them in our behaviors and notice them in others. We identify them when we make unthinking and unfounded statements and observations.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs aimed at (1) alleviating symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) helping individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.
A fallacy is a belief based on unreliable evidence and unsound arguments, as in the control fallacy, where we either believe someone has power and control over things that happen to us or (2) we hold that type of power over others.
The Fallacy of Fairness
The fallacy of fairness is a very relatable cognitive distortion. It’s the unrealistic assumption that life should be fair. This distortion, commonly associated with children who believe the world revolves around them, is a common trap for those of us experiencing social anxiety. We find ourselves irrationally convinced that we are constantly under scrutiny, the unfair focal point of everyone’s attention.
Human Concept of Fairness
It is human nature to equate fairness with how well our personal preferences are met. Our concept of fairness is based on how well others, institutions, and nature meet our needs, desires, and expectations. We know how we want to be treated, and anything that conflicts with that can seem unreasonable and distressing, generating anger, frustration, resentment, and other negative emotions.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
The Unrealism of Fairness
The belief that everything should be based on fairness and equality is a noble but unrealistic philosophy. We can strive for such things, but life is inequitable. People are self-oriented, and institutions are singularly focused on profits. Only nature is impartial.
Fairness is subjective. Rarely do two people agree on its application. However, the distortion is deeply ingrained in us, leading to irrational thoughts and behaviors.
It’s perfectly rational and normal to want things to work in our favor. However, expecting them to do so unfailingly is an extreme and unrealistic demand. As Grandpa wisely remarks in The Princess Bride, “Who says life is fair? Where is that written?”
Conditional Assumptions
We often base our concept of fairness on conditional assumptions, which allows us to avoid personal accountability. Conditional words and statements are contingent upon something else. For something to happen, something else must be implicated. A conditional clause is made up of two parts, a main clause and an “if” clause. An example is “If my teacher knew how hard I studied, she’d give me a passing grade.” The grade is contingent upon the teacher knowing how hard the student studied. Even if the teacher is aware of the student’s effort, studying does not guarantee comprehension, and grades are based on results.
Additionally, both the teacher’s grading and the student’s depth of study are subjectively determined. Fairness does not enter into the equation.
The experience of social anxiety is conditional. Something had to happen to create susceptibility to our condition., For example, “If my parents had treated me better, I wouldn’t have social anxiety disorder.” However, equating our condition to unfairness is futile and imprudent. Feeling sorry for ourselves or assigning blame impedes recovery, which is replacing negative thoughts and behaviors with positive ones.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Social Anxiety’s Indeterminate Causes
The causes of our condition are indeterminate. Scientists may have linked the serotonin transporter gene “SLC6A4” to social anxiety disorder, but anxiety is produced by polygenic traits controlled by multiple genes and supported by numerous other factors. Notwithstanding our desire to source our disorder, blaming is irrational, given the evidence.
Heaven’s Reward Fallacy
The fallacy of fairness is commonly associated with heaven’s reward fallacy, which is the unreasonable assumption that we will be equitably rewarded for our hard work and sacrifice. As Aaron Beck explains, heaven’s reward fallacy is the belief that some entity is keeping track of all our sacrifices and self-denial, for which we will be justly recompensed. Although heaven implies reward in the afterlife, we are emotionally vested in the here and now. When rewards don’t materialize, it can lead to an endless cycle of disappointment and bitterness.
While our kind and charitable deeds may be appreciated and reciprocated in this lifetime, it is unreasonable to presume that it will happen. If our expectations are unmet, emotional repercussions aggravate our social anxiety, leading to depression, animosity, and self-recrimination.
Unhealthy Motivations
Our expectations are real and visceral. Unreasonable expectations can lead to overcompensation, where we do more than is necessary or practical to please others. We become codependent, relying on others for our sense of self-worth and identity, often sacrificing our own needs in the process. This is what we mean by ‘unhealthy motivations.’ Our actions are driven by a need for external validation rather than our emotional well-being.
We can also become consummate enablers, justifying, encouraging, or contributing to someone else’s harmful behaviors to gain their favor and friendship. Rather than enforcing our boundaries, we allow ourselves to be bullied and taken advantage of, seeking affirmation and appreciation.
Set Reasonable Expectations
These two fallacies are rooted in our innate desire for recognition and acceptance. The naïve belief that all our efforts will be noticed, appreciated, or reciprocated, however, is an unreasonable expectation that will inevitably be unmet.
To set reasonable expectations, we must acknowledge that not all our efforts will be noticed or reciprocated. We learn to focus on our well-being and the intrinsic value of our actions, rather than seeking external validation.
Fairness in Relationships
Let’s consider our relationships. It is ingenuous to assume that our contributions to a relationship are always reciprocated. Remember, fairness is subjective. Our fear of rejection often compels overzealousness, which can be off-putting. Even if our giving is appreciated, expecting a satisfying and equitable return is unreasonable and can lead to resentment and disappointment, which suggests an unsustainable relationship
It is typical for individuals to hope for equity or reciprocation for their efforts. However, people and institutions are internally motivated, and nature is apathetic. Life is a crapshoot. By letting go of unrealistic expectations, we can devise logical resolutions and practical solutions, knowing that our emotional well-being is internally driven and should be determined, as little as possible, by external factors.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Emotional Malfunction is Evidence of Our Humanness
The recognition that almost everyone will develop at least one diagnosable mental disorder at some point in their life should go a long way toward eliminating prejudices and disinformation about social anxiety and all mental illnesses. This is an updated version of my first guest post, published in November 2020.
There is an aphorism that circulates among mental health professionals.Question: Why do only 26% of people have a diagnosable mental disorder? Answer: Because the other 74% haven’t been diagnosed yet.
The original title of this writing used the word “dysfunction,” defined as “abnormal functioning.” However, recognizing that mental disorders are not rare but common and universal indicates normality. “Dysfunction,” then, has been corrected with “malfunction,” which means a failure to function typically or satisfactorily. “Mental illnesses are so common that almost everyone will develop at least one diagnosable mental disorder at some point in their life” (Reubens, 2017). We all experience emotional malfunction.
Why do we treat those experiencing social anxiety and other conditions with contempt, trepidation, or ridicule? We are hard-wired to fear and isolate things we do not understand, and we have been misinformed by history and the disease model of mental health. There are four common misconceptions about emotional malfunctions. They are (1) abnormal and selective, (2) a consequence of behavior, (3) solely mental, and (4) psychotic.
Deconstructing these misconceptions will, hopefully, foster awareness and reduce the stigma surrounding mental health issues.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI—deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” — WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
A Malfunction Is Abnormal or Selective
“Neurosis” is no longer used as a diagnosis and has been replaced by “anxiety disorder diagnoses.” However, the more familiar “neurosis” paints a picture, and I like its pigmentation.
A neurosis is a condition that negatively impacts our emotional well-being and quality of life but does not necessarily impair or interfere with normal day-to-day functions. It is a standard part of natural human development. . Roughly, one in four individuals experiences a “diagnosable” neurosis.
According to the World Health Organization (2019), nearly two-thirds of people who experience a mental disorder reject or refuse to disclose their condition. Mental disorders are common, undiscriminating, and impact us all in some fashion or another. This commonality should convince us that we are all in this together, and there is no justification for stigma or shame.
A Malfunction Is the Consequence of an Individual’s Behavior
Combined statistics prove that 89% of neuroses onset at adolescence or earlier. (ADAA, 2019a, 2019b; Baron et al., 1983; Bressert, 2019). Some, like PTSD and clinical narcissism, can onset later in life. The susceptibility to social anxiety, depression, and most other emotional malfunctions originates in childhood.
Most psychologists agree that this is a consequence of early childhood physical, emotional, or sexual disturbance. Many things can cause this. Perhaps parents are controlling or don’t provide emotional validation. Maybe the child is subjected to bullying or comes from a broken home. Behaviors later in life may impact severity but are not responsible for the onset. It is never the child’s fault, nor is it reflective of their behavior. This disputes moral models that we are to blame for our disorder (Corrigan 2006) or that it is God’s punishment for sin.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Emotional malfunction is not mental
Early civilizations viewed mental illness through the lens of supernatural forces and demonic possession. Hippocrates (4th C. BCE) and 19th-century diagnosticians examined the relative proportions of bodily fluids. Lunar influence, sorcery, and witchcraft were timeless culprits. In the early 20th century, it was somatogenic. (Farreras, 2020).The biological approach argued that neuroses are related to the brain’s physical functioning (McLeod, 2018, p. 1), while pharmacology promoted it as a chemical or hormonal imbalance. However, the simultaneous mutual interaction of all human system components—mind, body, spirit, and emotions—is required for sustainability and recovery.
The Emotionally Malfunctional are Psychotic
Surprisingly, the distinction between neurosis and psychosis is unclear to many. When someone sees, hears, or responds to things that are not actual, they are having a psychotic episode. Neurosis is a non-clinical term describing a spectrum of mental disorders that cause significant anxiety or distressing emotional symptoms. Few individuals experience psychosis (roughly 3.5% of the population). The balance of the population, ostensibly, experiences moderate and above levels of anxiety, stress, and depression (Folk, 2021). We are universally neurotic. Since most mental disorders are neuroses, we are all emotionally malfunctional to some extent.
The disease or pathographic model of mental health focuses on the history of deficit behavior. The American Psychiatric Association’s (APA) brief definition of neurosis contains the following words: distressing, irrational, obsessive, compulsive, dissociative, depressive, exaggerated, unconscious, and conflicts. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the APA, uses words like incapable, deceitful, unempathetic, manipulative, difficult, irresponsible, and incompetent.
This ‘defective’ emphasis has been the overriding psychiatric perspective for over a century. The disease model is the chief proponent of the notion that the mentally ill are dangerous and unpredictable. This perspective leads us to distance ourselves and deem them socially undesirable, resulting in stigmatization. The irony is that we are them, and this societal implication is a cause for awareness.
The Family
Over one-third of family members hide their relationship with their malfunctional child or sibling to avoid bringing shame to the family. They are considered family undesirable, a devaluation potentially more life-limiting and disabling than the neurosis itself.
The Media
The media stereotypes neurotics as homicidal schizophrenics, impassive childlike prodigies, or hair-brained free-spirits. One study found that over half of U.S. news stories involving the malfunctional allude to violence, perpetuating these harmful stereotypes and shaping public perception. Psychologists argue that more individuals would seek treatment if psychiatric services were less stigmatizing.There are complaints of rude or dismissive staff, coercive measures, excessive wait times, paternalistic or demeaning attitudes, pointless treatment programs, drugs with undesirable side effects, stigmatizing language, and general therapeutic pessimism. (Henderson et al., 2014; Huggett et al., 2018). The disease model reinforces the power dynamics between doctors and patients. Clinicians deal with 31 similar and comorbid disorders, 400-plus schools of psychotherapy, multiple treatment programs, and an evolving plethora of medications. They cannot grasp the personal impact of the malfunction because they are too focused on the diagnosis.
A recent study of 289 clients in 67 clinics has revealed a startling truth -76.4% of them were misdiagnosed. This is not an isolated incident. An anxiety clinic, for instance, reported that over 90% of clients with generalized anxiety were incorrectly diagnosed. (Richards, 2019)These high misdiagnosis rates are a cause for concern, as they point to a systemic issue. Experts attribute this to the difficulty in distinguishing between different disorders or identifying specific etiological risk factors, a problem exacerbated by the DSM’s unreliable statistics. Even mainstream medical authorities have begun to criticize the validity and humanity of conventional psychiatric diagnoses (Kinderman, 2014).The National Institute of Mental Health believes traditional psychiatric diagnoses have outlived their usefulness and suggests replacing them with easily understandable descriptions of the issues. This is a call to action for all of us in the mental health field.
Because of the disease model’s emphasis on diagnosis, we focus on the malfunction rather than the individual. Which disorder do we find most annoying or repulsive? What behaviors contribute to the condition? How progressive is it, and how effective are treatments? Is it contagious? We derisively label the malfunctioning individual ‘a mental case.’
Realistically, we cannot eliminate the word ‘mental’ from the culture. Unfortunately, its negative perspectives and implications promulgate perceptions of incompetence, ineptitude, and unlovability. Stigma, the hostile expression of someone’s undesirability, is pervasive and destructive. It’s not just a word or a label-it’s a force that can shatter lives. Stigmatization is deliberate, proactive, and distinguishable by pathographic overtones intended to shame and isolate. 90% of persons diagnosed with a mental disorder claim they have been impacted by mental health stigma. Disclosure jeopardizes livelihoods, relationships, social standing, housing, and quality of life. This is the human cost of stigma, and one we cannot afford to ignore.
The disease model assumes that emotional distress is merely symptomatic of biological illness. The wellness model focuses on the positive aspects of human functioning that promote our well-being and recognize our essential and shared humanity. It’s a model that emphasizes what is right with us, not what is wrong. It’s a model that sees potential and determination, not incompetence and weakness. Recovery, under this model, is not achieved by focusing on our flaws; it is achieved by embracing and utilizing our inherent strengths and abilities. This is a model that can change the face of mental health care, and it’s a model we should all be excited about.
Benefits of the Wellness Model
Revising negative and hostile language will encourage the development of new, positive perspectives.
The self-denigrating aspects of shame will dissipate, and stigma will become less threatening.
A doctor-client knowledge exchange will value the individual over the diagnosis.
Recognizing emotional malfunction as a natural part of human development can lead to greater social acceptance and accommodation.
Recognizing that they bear no responsibility for the onset will revise public opinion, which currently suggests that people deserve their malfunction because it is a result of their behavior.
Emphasizing character strengths and virtues will positively impact self-beliefs and self-appraisal, leading to more open disclosure, discussion, and recovery/remission.
Recognizing proximity and susceptibility can help address the desire to distance and isolate.
Emphasis on value and potential will encourage accountability and foster self-reliance.
The impact of emotional malfunction begins in childhood; recovery is a long-term commitment. The wellness model creates a blueprint and then guides, teaches, and supports individuals throughout the recovery process by emphasizing their intrinsic character strengths and attributes, which generate the motivation, persistence, and perseverance necessary for recovery.
The adage, treat others as you want to be treated, takes on added relevance when we accept that we all experience some severity of mental disorders. Emotional malfunction is evidence of our humanness.
Farreras, I. G. (2020). History of mental illness. In R. Biswas-Diener & E. Diener (Eds), Noba textbook series: Psychology. Champaign, IL: DEF publishers. http://noba.to/65w3s7ex
Huggett, C., Birtel, M.D., Awenat, Y.F., Fleming, P., Wilkes, S., Williams, S., Haddock, G. (2018). A qualitative study: experiences of stigma by people with mental health problems. Psychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research and Practice, 91, 380–397 (2018). doi:10.1111/papt.12167
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
