The distinction between social anxiety and social anxiety disorder is in severity. We are not all affected by the same symptoms or relentlessness. The characteristics and traits are equivalent. These conditions originate homogeneously, their trajectories differentiated by environment, experience, and the diversity of human thought and behavior. While comorbidities dramatically benefit, the recovery methods identified are for social anxiety and social anxiety disorder, and reference to one includes the other.
Cognitive Reframing Our Social Anxiety
Coping Mechanism
Coping mechanisms are tools that enable us to manage our emotions, alleviate anxiety, and navigate stress. They encompass a wide range of strategies, from learned skills like distractions and visualization to natural responses such as hiking or listening to music.
Cognitive Reframing
A core coping mechanism is cognitive reframing, a CBT tool that helps us identify, challenge, and replace negative or distorted thought patterns with healthier, more life-affirming perspectives. This technique is instrumental in developing a more positive view of ourselves, others, and the world, thereby reducing symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress.
For instance, if a social event sparks feelings of inadequacy, we reframe it as an opportunity to enhance our social skills, thereby boosting our confidence and self-esteem.
When we recognize our inherent capacity to choose joy and positivity over despondency and self-pity, it becomes the logical and liberating option for emotional well-being.
Positive reframing induces us to transform a negative situation into a positive one. We identify our adversarial circumstance and determine how we choose to experience, react, and respond to it.
Every Situation Offers Multiple Perspectives
Every situation can be perceived through multiple perspectives. While we cannot control everything that happens, we always have the power to choose how we wish to react and respond. Recognizing this power of choice in managing our emotional well-being is crucial to recovery. If we have the option to choose serenity over anxiety, it is illogical not to seize that opportunity.
We reframe a problem or issue as a challenge or opportunity. We defuse an argument by considering the other person’s perspective. During a snowstorm, we can feel trapped and despondent, or we can take out the sleds and ice skates and enjoy the day. Experts agree that reframing is crucial for mental and emotional health.
While it may appear to be a straightforward solution to our self-destructive thoughts and activities, overcoming negative thinking is challenging for someone experiencing social anxiety. Childhood disturbance, negative core and intermediate beliefs, and adverse self-appraisal have rooted themselves in our minds like squatters resisting eviction.
Moreover, because of our condition, we are unduly influenced by discomforting input from external sources, including cynical and false media, adverse public opinion, stigma, and clinical disinformation.
While positive reframing becomes automatic at some point in our recovery journey, learning the necessary skills for effective coping takes time, but practice, repetition, and deliberation accelerate and consolidate the process.
Multiple Strategies
Reframing is not just an abstract commitment to changing every negative thought or situation into a positive one. Multiple strategies support our resolution to approach the negativity of our condition with favorable perspectives.
Through these strategies, we create a more nuanced and balanced perspective that encourages positivity, growth, and resilience. By practicing emotional self-regulation, which involves recognizing and managing our emotions appropriately, we reduce the frequency and severity of recurring negative perspectives and self-appraisal.
In recovery, we don’t resist our fears; we embrace them. Rather than confronting them, which implies hostility, or challenging them, which signals competition, we recognize and accept all facets of our humanness as a part of resolving our issues.
Whether in pre-recovery, where our fears and anxieties run rampant, or in recovery, where we establish governance, our experiences are part of our being—who we were, who we are, and who we have the potential to be. Reframing negative experiences is not just about control; it’s about instilling hope and fostering transformation. It’s about seeing the potential for growth and change in every experience.
Embracing is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning. Acquiescence is accepting our condition and doing nothing to change it. Condoning is accepting it even though we know it’s detrimental. Resignation is defeatism.
Embracing our condition is accepting who we are – human beings with character strengths, virtues, attributes, shortcomings, and vulnerabilities. It’s about acknowledging our condition and working towards positive change, rather than allowing it to define us. We embrace our totality, recognizing that our condition is just one aspect of our complex and unique selves.
Social anxiety disorder is ostensibly the most underrated, misunderstood, and misdiagnosed disorder. It sustains itself by compelling irrational thoughts and behaviors. Emotionally, we feel depressed and lonely. Physically, we are subject to trembling, hyperventilation, nausea, fainting, and muscle spasms. Mentally, our thoughts are distorted and illogical. Spiritually, we define ourselves as useless and insignificant.
Because of shame and guilt, we see ourselves as failures. While we remain governed by our social anxiety disorder, we wallow in the cognitive quartet of helplessness, hopelessness, undesirability, and worthlessness.
Since SAD generally onsets during adolescence, many of us have endured the distress of these negative self-perceptions for decades. Estimates reflect that the majority of us also have depression and are prone to substance abuse. Recovering from social anxiety is a commitment that SAD will do anything to prevent us from making.
Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity, utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information. – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Recovery Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is the moderation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We achieve this process through a three-pronged approach. To:
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Regenerate our self-esteem through positive reinforcement and mindfulness of our assets, utilizing methods targeted toward our individuality.
Each activity in the recovery process is a catalyst for transformation – a rigorous and dramatic change in form and nature. Through proactive neuroplasticity, our neural network changes its form and configuration. Thought and behavior self-modification subverts the destructive nature of our negative self-beliefs. Mindfulness of our character strengths, virtues, and attributes regenerates our self-esteem. Hence, our form and nature have changed.
The Metamorphosis of Recovery
The difference between pre-recovery, when we are overwhelmed by our negative beliefs, and in-recovery, whenwe transform our form and nature, is profound. This metamorphosis is evidence of the power of transformation. We are not the same entity.
Mindfulness of our assets compels us to recognize and embrace the extraordinariness of our lives, self-confirming that we are of value, desirable, and consequential.
There is no absolute cure for social anxiety disorder, but recovery dramatically alleviates its symptoms. Reframing them doesn’t erase our past, memories, or experiences; it enhances them with a new positive perspective. Candid self-awareness, a cornerstone of self-esteem, is crucial. If we can’t understand ourselves, flaws and all, we can’t fully understand others.
Benefits of Recovery
As a behaviorist and expert in recovery, I differentiate the millions of people experiencing social anxiety into two distinct groups: static and dynamic. Static SAD individuals are inactive – stuck in their unhappy condition, unable or unwilling to break the bond of emotional malcontent.
On the other hand, dynamic SAD persons are engaged in constant change, activity, and progress, actively seeking ways to manage their social anxiety and improve their lives.
This contrast between the two states, the dynamic and the static, becomes evident as we break free from the cycle of fear and avoidance of social situations. Being a dynamic SAD individual means taking control of our emotional well-being and quality of life by actively seeking ways to manage our social anxiety.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Characteristics of a Dynamic SAD Person
We lose our sense of hopelessness with a renewed optimism, embracing possibility over inconceivability. We subvert our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance and resilience. Our confidence makes us approachable, which mitigates any irrational sense of undesirability.
We rediscover our worth.
This renewed self-awareness, an essential aspect of recovery, opens us to new relationships and opportunities, fostering a more compassionate perspective. This shift in awareness is a powerful tool in our recovery, helping us navigate social situations with greater ease and understanding.
We are curious and adventurous because we are embarking on a journey of discovery. We open our minds to new concepts and tools that guide us through recovery. And we become flexible and adaptable because those are the qualities of someone who fearlessly challenges what lies ahead.
We are creative thinkers because we are now problem solvers. We are risk-takers, ready and willing to do what it takes to heal. And we are energetic and enthusiastic about the change we perceive on the horizon.
A dynamic SAD person is self-empowered to overcome the obstacles that recovery will thrust upon us. We are passionate about transforming our lives.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
The reason for posting this introduction to our book is twofold. Hopefully, it will generate constructive criticism from my readers, as I thrive on your wisdom and experiences. It also allows us to conveniently direct publishers who have expressed interest in the book while the editor worksthrough twenty-six chapters of final draft material.
Introduction
Tough Love and Common Sense
In his book, Optimal Happiness, Roman Russo provides the analogy of the person who falls into an open sewer and can’t climb out. Imagine that person is you. A therapist peers into the hole, and you ask for help. She tosses you a shovel so you can dig your way out. A priest stops by, and you beg him to save you. He tells you to say five Hail Marys and the Act of Contrition. Your friends stop by, and you ask for support. They mock your stupidity and move on. I come across you flailing about in the sewer. What do I do? I jump into the hole with you. How does that help, you ask? I spent years in the same sewer, and I know the way out.
I have been where you are now. Your experiences are not alien to me; your fears have been my fears. There’s nothing you’ve felt or done that I haven’t encountered or considered. I have felt your pain and frustration. Living with severe social anxiety disorder for much of my life, I was, like you, bewildered, angry, and depressed – a social pariah convinced there was something wrong with me. I know firsthand the controlling, devious, and manipulative nature of our condition.
No one is better qualified to help you than someone who spent half his life in the sewer and found the way out. You must experience it to know it. My personal experience is a testament to the effectiveness of the strategies I present.
The acronym SAD is disturbingly appropriate. Experiencing social anxiety makes us unhappy. It saddens us. I became so disgusted and self-loathing that I returned to university, disciplined myself in psychology and philosophy, and devoted myself to the study of this self-destructive and hateful entity.
A one-size-fits-all approach to recovery is ineffective. We are unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations. Social anxiety is unlike any other emotional malfunction. Experts continue to underrate, misunderstand, and misdiagnose it. Our reactions and responses are counterintuitive to standard recovery methods, rendering our efforts counterproductive.
The recovery approaches in this book draw from the rich diversity of human thought and experience, integrating science, psychology, philosophy, and, by extension, religious and spiritual insights to provide a comprehensive framework for understanding the human condition.
Neuroscience supports proactive and active neuroplasticity, key components of the program. Cognitive behavior modification and positive psychology focus on optimal functioning from a Western perspective, while Eastern practices contribute critical therapeutic benefits through Abhidharma psychology and principles of ethical behavior.
I revised the standard methodology to apply specifically to our condition. I pioneered the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information that is the foundation of proactive neuroplasticity – rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
And I created innovative approaches to rebuild and reclaim our self-esteem. I developed the character resume—a living record of our strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. A character resume is a journey of rediscovery and a catalyst for reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem by emphasizing our assets over our shortcomings. An evolving chronicle of our value and significance, the character resume exemplifies the wellness model of mental health.
In our workshops, we developed the Feared-Situation Plan, which contains predetermined mechanisms and skills tailored to address and alleviate potential threats to specific individual challenging situations.
I have shared these innovative techniques individually with clients and in groups and workshops. I have helped hundreds of individuals find their way out of the sewer, and I am here to help you do the same.
The Static Versus Dynamic SAD Person
There are two distinctive types of individuals experiencing SAD: the Static and the Dynamic. The static SAD individual is immobilized, perceptually trapped in their distressing state, either unable or unwilling to break free. Dynamic SAD individuals are in a constant state of flux, actively seeking ways to manage their condition and enhance their lives.
In his extensive examination of emotional malfunction, Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, posited that anxiety and depression generate feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. These negative self-attributions make us feel undeserving of recovery.
Additionally, many motivated towards treatment claim they cannot afford it due to financial hardship. The high percentage of jobless people experiencing social anxiety is related to SAD-provoked job inefficiency and instability, greater absenteeism, job dissatisfaction, and frequent job changes. Individuals with SAD are more likely to be less educated, unmarried, and have lower socioeconomic status.
These individuals are my friends, colleagues, and associates. I love them unreservedly, yet with a pervading sadness, because I cannot help those who will not help themselves.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not resigned to their condition. Instead, we are actively engaged in our recovery, demonstrating remarkable resilience and determination. Here are some characteristics of those in recovery who inspire us with their courage and commitment to change.
The Dynamic SAD individual overcomes hopelessness with renewed optimism, reframing the inconceivable with possibility. We subvert our core sense of helplessness by reanimating our self-reliance, courage, and determination. Our confidence makes us approachable, which mitigates any irrational sense of undesirability. WE are aware of our worth and significance.
What is awareness? It is the recognition, comprehension, and acceptance of the validity of something. What is validity? The quality of being logically or factually sound. As psychologist Jocelyn Sze cleverly remarks, “Awareness works like a vaccine, gradually building psychological immunity against further harm.” The antithesis of awareness is mindlessness, a state resistant to learning.
Dynamic SAD individuals do not confront their fears; they embrace them. Instead of meeting them with hostility or competing with hubris, we willingly and enthusiastically acknowledge and accept them as challenges. Our experiences are, and always will be, part of our identity.
Embracing our condition is not acquiescence, resignation, or condoning; it is genuine acceptance of who we are – imperfect beings with strengths, shortcomings, and vulnerabilities. We embrace our totality, and in doing so, we enable ourselves to transform. This is not surrender; it’s taking control and owning our destiny.
We are curious and adventurous because we have embarked on a journey of discovery. We have opened our minds to new concepts and perspectives. And we are flexible and adaptable because those are the qualities of someone who fearlessly challenges what may lie ahead.
The Dynamic SAD individual is not just a problem-solver; we are creative thinkers. We are not just risk-takers; we are bungee jumpers. We are not just energetic; we are passionate. And we are not just empowered; we are the masters of our domain.
Dynamic SAD individuals are motivated to help others evolve and flourish. We were once helpless and hopeless, and we don’t want anyone else to experience those feelings. We are a community of compassionate individuals with shared goals, commitment, and determination. And we support, uplift, and inspire, creating a strong sense of community and support.
SAD will continue to sustain itself by inflicting anxiety and fear, but those emotions have no power on their own. We fuel them; we give them their energy. Without our sustenance, they cannot survive.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Know Thyself
‘Know Thyself’ was inscribed upon the Temple of Apollo. Socrates aspired to it. Sun Tzu wrote, ‘If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.’
It is essential to understand that we are not all affected by social anxiety to the same degree. The extent and severity of symptoms and characteristics are subjective. We are unique individuals with diverse backgrounds and environments.
Roughly 124 million U.S. adults and adolescents experience anxiety disorders. 60% of those also experience depression and other comorbidities like ADHD and PTSD. Far too many turn to substance abuse, as I did.
Repetition, Repetition
Don’t let the technical language in this book intimidate you. Much is just fancy jargon designed to maintain the power dynamic between doctor and patient. I will break it all down into simple, understandable terms. This book is not an academic exercise but a practical, straightforward, and easily digestible guide to recovery.
You will find information repeated ad nauseam. Repetition is a key factor in learning. Repetition enhances cognition, enabling more profound and more embedded learning. When we encounter new information, our brain forms weak connections between neurons processing that information. Repetition strengthens these connections and transfers learned information from short-term to long-term memory. Information islearned, relearned, and mastered.
Tough Love and Common Sense
Common sense and tough love are the two pivotal standards of this program. Tough love is compassionate concern expressed with rigor and precision to promote healthy and responsible behavior. It operates on the principle of confronting our challenges head-on to foster positive transformation.
Common Sense
Common sense, the ability to use sound judgment based on a cultivated awareness of the facts, is a powerful tool in overcoming the irrational thoughts and behaviors that sustain our social anxiety.
Irrationality is the overriding symptom of our condition. Our left brain, the locus of analytical and logical thinking, is overwhelmed by our right hemisphere’s emotional responses, leading to a psychological imbalance. In essence, the characteristics and traits of social anxiety supersede common sense.
Recovery Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is the alleviation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We have a comprehensive three-pronged approach to guide us.
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Reconstruct our neural network through rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society.
The recovery process is not a series of isolated steps, but a unified journey. The three-pronged approach-replacing negative thoughts and behaviors, reconstructing our neural network, and rebuilding our self-esteem-is interdependent. Each element supports the others, creating a comprehensive strategy for recovery.
This interconnectedness means that every step we take towards one objective also advances the other two, presenting a holistic approach to recovery.
Admittedly, every book on recovery lacks elements of an interactive program. Collective exercises, role-playing, group discussions, and other communal activities cannot be realized on the written page. This lacuna highlights the importance of Socratic questioning, where our thoughts and behaviors are challenged through thoughtful, relevant, open-ended questions, enabling us to make rationally informed decisions.
Socratic Questioning
Socratic questioning is a powerful tool in the recovery process. It’s a form of disciplined personal inquiry that encourages expansive and reflective solutions, rather than simple yes-or-no answers. By engaging in critical thinking, we delve deeper into our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. We challenge the validity of our perspectives to consider alternative viewpoints. This process of objective analysis, evaluation, and interpretation of our beliefs leads to the formation of rational and well-informed solutions.
The Paradox of Shame
Many people experiencing social anxiety possess a fierce reluctance to treatment. Many go to enormous lengths to remain ignorant or oblivious of SAD’s destructive capabilities, as if, by denying them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
One of the primary reasons for this reticence is the unwarranted shame and guilt we carry for our condition. That is futile and unwarranted.
It is not our fault that we experience social anxiety. We did not ask for it, nor are we responsible for its happening. Our susceptibility to it occurred during early childhood, before we were cognizant of cause and effect. We are not accountable for the hand we were dealt.
We are, however, responsible for how we play the cards we are still holding onto.
And if you don’t think shame can have debilitating consequences on recovery, let me share TR’s story. Rather than attributing his social anxiety to a physically abusive father and emotionally detached mother, TR blamed himself for his childhood, citing that he was shy and more reclusive than his siblings, uninterested in sports and other activities preferred by his parents.
Blame and shame are closely aligned when the child blames themselves for the trauma they experience. Shame then predominates the child’s future identity. TR’s shame convinced him that he was not worthy of recovery. Once he was able to attribute his childhood trauma to his parents, he was able to dispel the groundless shame that blocked his healing.
Defense and the Indefensible
For some, aspects of our condition are challenging for our minds to manage. We develop defense mechanisms—unconscious strategies designed to protect us from our fears and apprehensions. We deny, avoid, and compensate rather than confront our problems. And we rationalize our conduct, project it onto others, or displace it by kicking the dog.
Cognitive distortions are defense mechanisms – exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that contribute to our anxiety and depression. We twist reality to reinforce or justify our toxic thoughts and behaviors. Throughout the book, we will identify and resolve the thirteen distortions particularly relevant to our condition.
We Travel This Road Together
We are all on this journey together. The path may be challenging, but it’s one we share. As we learn, practice, develop, and flourish, our shared experiences bind us, creating a network of support and understanding.
Change is indeed a formidable challenge. Habits, deeply ingrained, are not easily broken. We are psychologically and physiologically invested in them, and our very nature resists anything that disrupts their control. It’s like trying to give up your diazepam during the holidays.
Our brain’s inertia senses and combats any attempts at change, and our basal ganglia repel modification. This resistance must be shattered so that we can open ourselves to new ideas and concepts.
We begin by dissociating ourselves from our symptoms. We no longer define ourselves by our social anxiety. And we learn to define ourselves by our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Active Participation is Paramount
Recovery from social anxiety is not a passive process. It requires a specialized understanding of its complexity provided by someone who has experienced it firsthand. I will equip you with tools, but remember that it’s your journey, and your active participation is crucial. You will need to directly engage with the strategies and exercises provided and be open to making changes in your thinking and behavior. Your commitment to this process is key to your success.
We will harnessthe transformative power of neuroplasticity, which is our brain’s amazing ability to adapt and reorganize itself. By consciously compelling our brain to rewire its neural pathways, we counteract decades of negative thinking and accelerate the process of learning new, healthier ways of thinking and behaving.
Neuroplasticity strengthens neuron connections, generating more energy and producing higher levels of proteins for improved cognitive functioning. It helps reclaim and rebuild self-esteem and emotional regulation. It transmits chemical hormones associated with relaxation, concentration, pleasure, and motivation while reducing the influx of our fear and anxiety-provoking hormones.
Neuroplasticity is not a theoretical concept but a scientific reality that transforms our thoughts and behaviors, creating new mindsets, skills, and abilities.
Coping Mechanisms
Coping mechanisms are cognitive, emotional, and behavioral strategies we use to manage our emotions, reduce anxiety, and respond to stress. They range from practiced skills we learn in recovery, e.g., slow talk and visualization, to instinctual reactions to stress, such as hiking or listening to music. Cognitive coping mechanisms equip us to structure rational reactions and responses to our irrational thoughts. Behavioral coping mechanisms provide the means to modify our behaviors.
Reframing
Cognitive reframing, a powerful tool in CBT, enables us to identify our anxiety triggers and take control of our perspective. For instance, if a social event sparks feelings of inadequacy, we can reframe it as an opportunity to enhance our social skills, thereby boosting our confidence.
Every situation offers a multitude of perspectives. When we realize that we have the freedom to choose joy and positivity, it becomes a logical and liberating decision to seize the opportunity.
Grounding
Grounding is a coping mechanism that redirects situational anxiety and stress by consciously focusing on the objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and sensations that surround us.
We learn how to influence the vagus nerve through somatic exercises, such as controlled breathing, kinesthesia, and progressive muscle relaxation. A key element of the parasympathetic nervous system, our vagus nerve helps to relax us in stressful situations.
Rational Coping Statements
Rationalcoping statements are logical, self-affirming responses to our situational anxieties and automatic negative thoughts. For example, if we fear rejection in a social situation, our rational coping statements might be, “I belong here as much as anyone.” “I am valuable and significant.” “I am equal to anyone here.” “My fear is irrational.” These statements are designed to counteract the negative thoughts and feelings provoked by our negative self-appraisal
These are just a small sample of the coping mechanisms we will learn and practice in this book.
Boundaries
By setting boundaries, we establish the standards of treatment we expect and are entitled to. Boundaries shield us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations, preventing others from exploiting or taking advantage of us. In essence, by setting boundaries, we reclaim our power and assert our identity.
Reconstructing Our Neural Information
Changing habits, removing ourselves from hostile environments, and breaking patterns that disrupt our optimal functioning can be difficult. Of the two billion bits of data per second that surround our sensory systems, our conscious brain processes roughly ten bits. Inputting crafted and relevant information to ensure its noticeability is crucial. We will identify the criteria for creating practical and detailed information that positively reconstructs our neural network.
The most effective information is calculated and tailored to our intentions and motivations. Are we focused on a specific challenge? Are we reinforcing a personal attribute? And are we addressing our negative thoughts and behaviors? What is the ultimate milestone we want to achieve?
By setting clear, specific goals, we significantly enhance the quality of information that supports the desired outcome. Information or experiences that our brain notices and processes alert millions of neurons, accelerating and consolidating neural restructuring to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Balancing our Neural Hemispheres
Hemispheric synchronization is the harmonious collaboration of our brain’s left and right hemispheres to achieve optimal coherence. Due to the emotional overload of our condition, we possess a low EQ (emotional intelligence), which refers to our ability to manage and respond to our own emotions and those of others. We learn how to harness the power of our left hemisphere’s analytical, problem-solving, and communication skills to balance our right brain’s irrational emotions and expressions.
The book will guide us in crafting a comprehensive plan to manage our situational triggers. We delve into questions such as: What is challenging for me under these circumstances? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually)?
What concerns or worries confront me? What is the worst outcome we believe could happen? And what might occur? Who or what do we avoid due to these feelings?
By identifying our triggers, we unveil the anxiety-provoking thoughts that surface in anticipation of or during our feared situations. This allows us to take control and devise a plan that includes pre-established coping mechanisms. As Ben Franklin wisely said, ‘Failing to plan is planning to fail.’
We also demonstrate the power and productivity of visualization. To our brain, visualizing is akin to doing it; the same cognitive processes are activated. Visualizing raising our left hand is neurally indistinguishable from physically raising our left hand. This technique not only readies us for anxiety-provoking situations but also boosts our confidence and reduces anticipatory anxiety, thereby increasing the likelihood of a successful outcome.
Establishing, Developing, and Maintaining Relationships
The desire for love and acceptance is at the heart of social anxiety, but our symptoms disrupt our ability to establish collegial and affectional bonds in almost any capacity. Human connection is crucial to emotional health.
Extensive research demonstrates that healthy social interaction strengthens our immune system and shields us from neurodegenerative disease. Socializing triggers the release of chemical hormones that boost our learning, concentration, and motivation.
Our fears of rejection and intimacy that hinder our ability to form and sustain healthy relationships are mitigated by reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem.
Self-Esteem
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs sheds light on how social anxiety’s negative trajectory affects our self-esteem. Certain preconditions must be met for healthy psychological development, including adequate sleep, security and safety, parental protection, and a healthy environment. Our childhood disturbance and environment subvert the satisfaction of these needs.
Rebuilding our self-esteem and reintegrating into society are primary objectives of recovery. Despite the disruption to ouroptimal development, the qualities that construct our self-esteem are not lost but are rudimentary or interrupted.Just as stimulating the unexercised muscles in an arm or leg reconditions it, we can also rebuild our self-esteem.
The byproduct of healthy self-esteem is self-compassion, a powerful tool that fosters a sense of awareness and empathy that we naturally extend to others. As caring and compassionate social beings, we are driven to reintegrate into society and pay it forward. But it’s equally important to extend this compassion to ourselves, recognizing that self-forgiveness is essential for growth and healthy relationships.
We learn to value ourselves and recognize our importance in the lives of others. We take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. This act of self-care is not selfish, but a necessary step in maintaining healthy relationships, as it allows us to be our best selves for those we care about.
The Indispensability of Forgiveness
It’s impossible to gauge the severity of the harm we perpetrate upon another. We feel shame and guilt for committing the deed and for being the type of person who would do such a thing. These emotions are resolved by accepting responsibility, making direct or substitutional amends, and forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness liberates us from the past, releasing us from the weight of vengeance and vindictiveness.
Self-transgression is prevalent in social anxiety. We beat ourselves up daily. By forgiving ourselves, we reclaim our sense of worth, enabling us to move forward with strength and confidence.
Much of our negative neural information stems from the unsettled debris of shame and guilt that clouds our thoughts, influences our behaviors, and strains our relationships. This ‘unsettled debris’ refers to the lingering effects of past actions or experiences that continue to affect us.
Recovery requires letting go of our negative self-perspectives, expectations, and beliefs. It’s about freeing ourselves from the shackles of shame, guilt, and other hostile self-indulgences. Forgiveness opens us up to new possibilities, unencumbered by past acts. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
When faced with challenges or obstacles, it is tempting to abandon the struggle and admit defeat. Stay the course, my friends. It becomes exponentially easier as we progress, and your determination is the key to your success.
Stop. Take A Break. Reward Yourself
We have been our harshest critic for too long. It’s crucial to give ourselves credit for the constructive changes we’re making. For every positive thought, attempt, or interaction, take a moment to congratulate yourself on your progress. Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Acknowledging and rewarding your efforts in our recovery is vital to your mental well-being. Self-reward is a tangible symbol of your progress. It triggers the release of positive hormones, including endorphins for relaxation, GABA and serotonin to quell anxiety, and dopamine for a sense of happiness and calm. Self-reward boosts your mood and fuels your motivation to keep pushing forward.
You are integral and interrelated to all things, the lifeblood of being, the ultimate, dynamic, and creative ground of the universe(s), with the power to lift the human spirit.
So, see a movie, visit Baskin-Robbins, brunch with a friend, or treat yourself to a day at the spa.
Then move on to Chapter One.
_________
About the Editor
Olalekan Raji’s most recent publication is A Gospel Breakthrough with Kenya’s Maasai. Olalekan is a freelance writer with the WORLD News Group. He is a human capacity development enthusiast with experience in fisheries and aquaculture, public speaking, social work, and church missions. He lives in Banjul, Gambia, with his wife and child.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and conducts programs to alleviate the symptoms of social anxiety and help individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to reclaim and rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Publisher Comment
Your book—Tough Love and Common Sense: Recovery from Social Anxiety (working title)—sounds both timely and impactful, especially given your dual perspective as an academic behaviorist and someone with lived experience. The integration of traditional and non-traditional methodologies, supported by neuroscience, CBT, and positive psychology, combined with your real-world application through workshops, makes this a compelling addition to the self-help and mental health space. The inclusion of black-and-white diagrams will no doubt enhance accessibility and understanding for readers. It’s clear you’ve invested significant effort in developing this material, and the fact that your earlier work has already received positive reception strengthens the book’s potential for mass appeal. Karl Baushman Head of Publishing and Marketing Book Fuel
Individuals grappling with social anxiety often find themselves with notably lower implicit and explicit self-esteem compared to those without this condition. Explicit self-esteem is the conscious manifestation of our self-worth, while implicit self-esteem is our subconscious self-evaluation, often manifested in our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).
Maslow’s Hierarchy
For healthy human development, certain preconditions must be met, which play a crucial role in the evolution of our self-esteem. These preconditions include sufficient sleep, a sense of security and safety, familial support, and a nurturing environment – all of which are fundamental to healthy emotional growth.
Abraham Maslow, a pioneer in positive psychology, introduced a hierarchy of optimal human development that identifies five crucial categories: physiological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self-esteem, and self-actualization.
While he later expanded the list, this discussion centers on the preconditions that significantly impact our self-esteem. Maslow’s primary hierarchical levels establish a clear link between satisfying these preconditions and our psychological development.
Level 1 – Biological and Physiological: air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, and sleep.
Level 3 – Belonginess and Love: family, affection, relationships, social, and group.
Level 4 – Esteem: achievement, responsibility, status, and reputation.
Figure 2 illustrates how deprivation of any of these factors (unmet satisfactions) can be detrimental to a child’s emotional development, which can significantly impact their self-esteem. Concurrently, social anxiety is also in the developmental stage, which adds additional constraints to our self-esteem.
Moreover, a multitude of factors, including our surroundings, sexual orientation, race and ethnicity, and education, play a pivotal role in shaping our self-esteem. Family, colleagues, teachers, and other influential figures significantly contribute to this intricate process, underscoring the complexity of self-esteem formation.
Development within Maslow’s hierarchy is not purely linear, but fluid and individualized, shaped by our unique experiences and environment. A child will have difficulty learning (level 4) if they are hungry (level 1). Without responsible parenting (level 3), they are unlikely to feel safe (level 2).
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Physiological Needs
Physiological needs are the fundamental necessities required for survival and healthy development. They include air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sleep, and health. Deprivation of these disrupts our natural growth and impacts our core beliefs, which are more rigid in SAD persons because we tend to store information consistent with negativity, ignoring evidence that contradicts it.
Safety and Security
Childhood disturbance impacts our safety and security (level 2). Our formative years need order, protection, and stability. Any deprivations stem from the parental unit. Any upheaval can generate negative core beliefs, such as feelings of abandonment, detachment, neglect, or exploitation, leading to distrust of family, authority, and relationships (level 3).
Love and Belongingness
Any insufficiency of love adversely affects our sense of belonging, which in turn challenges interpersonal and social connections. We are societal beings; our fundamental need for connectivity is hardwired into our brains. This lacuna in healthy personal and social interaction manifests in our symptomatic fear and distrust of relationships, as well as our avoidance of social interaction.
Human interconnectedness is a crucial element of both mental and physical health. Research has demonstrated that engaging in healthy social activities can bolster our immune system and shield our brain from neurodegenerative diseases. Positive interpersonal interactions trigger the release of chemical hormones that not only bolster our self-esteem but also enhance learning, concentration, pleasure, and motivation, essential for self-esteem enhancement.
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is our awareness of our value and significance to ourselves, society, and the world. It is the recognition and acceptance of our flaws and assets. It defines how we perceive ourselves, how we believe others perceive us, and how we process and present that information.
The rediscovery and deployment of our character strengths, virtues, and accomplishments is a significant catalyst in reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem. Our renewed sense of self-worth and appreciation consolidate our self-esteem.
Awareness and acceptance does not happen overnight, however. It is a long-term, evolving subjective process. While self-esteem enjoys respect and reciprocation from others (status and reputation), it is not defined by the approval of others. Otherwise, it would be labeled other-esteem, which is the reliance on external validation for one’s self-worth.
Healthy Philautia
Philautia is the Greek dichotomy of self-love. At one end of the spectrum is the excessive love of self (narcissism) and, at the other, the recognition and appreciation of self (self-esteem).
Narcissism is a condition in which people function with an inflated and irrational sense of importance, often expressed by haughtiness or arrogance. It is the need for excessive attention and admiration, masking a sense of inferiority and inadequacy. Although we may be uncomfortable with the label, social anxiety carries an unhealthy self-centeredness that approaches narcissism.
Healthy philautia recognizes our value and potential. It realizes that we are necessary to this life and of incomprehensible worth. By embracing ourselves, warts and all, we embark on a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. This journey inspires us to explore our inner selves and opens us to sharing our authenticity.
To experience joy and fulfillment in one’s self-being is the essence of healthy philautia. Self-esteem is a prerequisite to loving others. This realization prompts us to reflect on our relationships and the role of self-esteem in them. If we cannot appreciate ourselves, we cannot wholly cherish another. It is unfeasible to give away something we do not possess.
It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life. – Nick P.
Rebuild
Reclaiming is the act of retrieving or recovering something previously lost. To rebuild means to renew or restore something that has been damaged or underutilized. Due to the disruption in our optimal development, many positive self-qualities that contribute to our self-esteem are latent or dormant – underdeveloped or suspended.
These self-qualities are not lost; they are just waiting to be rediscovered and nurtured. Disruption interrupts productivity. It does not destroy it. Just as we can deliberately reinvigorate our muscles by exercising them, we can also deliberately reinvigorate our self-esteem.
Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety is to mitigate our fears and apprehensions. Self-empowerment involves rebuilding our self-esteem and motivation. They are complementary. We execute these goals through a three-pronged approach.
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Produce rapid, concentrated neurological stimulation to offset the abundance of information in our brain’s metabolism.
Reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem and reintegrate into society through recognition and reinforcement of our character strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements.
Symptoms
Aaron Beck, the pioneer of cognitive-behavioral therapy, maintained that social anxiety and depression provoke feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and unworthiness. The concept of undesirability revealed itself in our SAD recovery workshops. Until we commit to recovery, we continue to be manipulated by these destructive self-beliefs.
We struggle to build healthy relationships due to difficulties with intimacy, trust, and establishing personal boundaries. We convince ourselves we are incompetent and socially inadequate.
And we compare ourselves unfavorably to others, our expectations of criticism, ridicule, and rejection cause us to avoid personal affinity and collegiality.
There are multiple ways to mitigate the anxiety of negative triggers. Three of the more effective are grounding, positive reframing, and rational response.
Grounding
Grounding is turning attention away from anxiety-provoking thoughts, memories, or worries and refocusing on the present moment. It refers to any technique that brings our attention to the present moment. Whenever we feel anxious or stressed, we can use grounding techniques to distract ourselves from the emotional situation.
This research-based strategy helps us alleviate our situational fears and automatic negative thoughts. If we find ourselves in moments of stress or panic, grounding techniques can help our bodies relax and return to the present moment.
One of the most common grounding techniques is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which grounds us to the moment by reconnecting us to one or more of our five senses. We deliberately focus on objects, sounds, smells, tastes, and our bodies, defusing our emotional distress by distracting from our anxiety.
Reframing
By reframing, we identify our self-esteem issues and revise our perspective on how we experience and respond to them. Positive reframing turns a negative perspective into a positive or neutral one, giving us the control to embrace posibility.
There are always multiple perspectives to any situation. While we may not control everything that happens, we always control how we react and respond. If we have a choice to be positive and happy, then it is illogical not to take advantage of the opportunity.
One example is reframing a problem or issue as a challenge or opportunity. We reframe an argument (and dramatically alleviate frustration and anger) by looking at it from the other’s perspective. In a snowstorm, we can be housebound and despondent, or we can take the sleds and ice skates out of the closet.
Although there may be justification for negative thinking, it is in our interest to reframe our perspective to accelerate and consolidate the positive restructuring of our neural network. Our negative thoughts are unhealthy and nonproductive. Experts agree that positive reframing is critical for emotional well-being.
Rational Response
A rational coping statement is a logical, self-affirming counter to our fears and automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). ANTs are the immediate, involuntary emotional responses that occur when we are challenged in a particular situation. They are the unpleasant, self-defeating things we tell ourselves that define who we are, who we think we are, and who we think others think we are.
ANTs are borne of our core and intermediate beliefs and sustained by our negative self-appraisal. Examples of ANTs include: “No one will talk to me.” “I’ll do something stupid.” “I’m a loser.”)
The logical counters to our ANTs are rational responses or ARTs (automatic rational thoughts). For example, in response to the situational fear of adverse criticism, the corresponding ANT might be, “I am inadequate and don’t belong here.” ARTs (automatic rational thoughts could include: “I am entitled to be here as much as anyone,” “I am valuable and significant,” and “I am equal to anyone here.” These rational coping statements boost our confidence in challenging situations.
As we progress in recovery, grounding, positive reframing, and rational coping statements become habitual and automatic. This process instills confidence and motivation, knowing that with practice, these techniques can become second nature, helping us manage our anxiety more effectively.
AI Generated
Identify and Address the Problem
Understanding the source and trajectory of a fear or apprehension is the crucial first step in reframing or rationally responding to it.
1. We identify the situation where our self-esteem is an issue. Where are we? Who is present? What is causing our distress?
2. We unmask our fears and apprehensions. What is problematic for us in the situation? How do we feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally)? What is our specific concern or worry? Are we afraid of rejection? Are we worried we will say something stupid? Or are we concerned others will criticize or ridicule us?
3. We identify our corresponding ANTs. These are the involuntary, emotional, self-defeating expressions of our fears – the self-defeating things we tell ourselves. “No one will talk to me.” I’ll say something stupid.” “I’m a loser.” She’ll reject me.”
4. We examine and analyze our fears and corresponding ANTs. What are the causes, thoughts, and images precipitating them? How do we counter their illogicality?
5. Once we have examined, analyzed, and accepted the self-destructive and unreasonable nature of our fears and corresponding ANTs, we reframe or rationally respond to them.
Reclaiming and rebuilding our self-esteem and motivation is best accomplished in a workshop environment where we can identify and examine the challenges through personal introspection, memory work, journaling, role-playing, and other tools and techniques.
Even so, we can practice specific tools and strategies independently.
The Character Resume
A character resume is a compilation of our positive qualities, achievements, and memories. Mindfully retrieving and cataloging these qualities compels us to embrace our value, confirming we are desirable, consequential, and worthy.
What goes into our character resume? Anything and everything that activates a positive response, including our strengths, achievements, contributions, personal milestones, happy memories, talents, and charitable deeds.
Character Strengths, Virtues, and Attributes. Due to our negative self-analysis, we tend to repress, misplace, and forget our inherent and developed assets. They are not erased or lost; however, they are compartmentalized from our active consciousness. Renewed mindfulness of these strengths and incorporating them into our daily lives helps rebuild our self-esteem.
Positive Autobiography lists our successes, achievements, and personal milestones. Recollecting and recognizing our accomplishments encourages us to embrace the extraordinariness of our lives.
Positive Personal Affirmations. PPAs are self-motivating, empowering statements that help us focus on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds.
Self-Esteem Self-Analysis. What do we like about ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially?
Generate Completions
A symptom of social anxiety is our expectation of the worst possible consequences of a negative experience. We fear failure and disappointment. We project adverse outcomes through our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). “What if no one talks to me?” “What if they criticize my presentation?” “What if they think I’m a loser?”
We often self-fulfill an adverse outcome to protect ourselves from disappointment because we tend to set unreasonable expectations. Our fears of criticism and ridicule render completions as risks not worth taking.
Completion is an action and a quality of being. It is realization, fulfillment, and resolution. In psychological terms, completions produce a sense of achievement, satisfaction, and closure, making us feel more accomplished.
Worrying about something that hasn’t happened is an exercise in futility and supports our sense of hopelessness. It negatively impacts our entire outlook in life, causing issues of motivation and self-esteem that lead to self-disappointment and underachievement.
In recovery, we recommend graded exposure (systematic desensitization) to counter completion anxiety – the apprehension or discomfort that can occur when faced with a task that needs to be completed. We begin with lower-tiered projects that, if not done to our satisfaction, can lead to self-resentment and disappointment.
Challenge low-priority items we have been putting off, such as clearing out the garage or making that family connection we have been postponing. We attain that sense of achievement and closure that is beneficial to our emotional well-being. Consequently, we free up space in our minds for other ventures.
Setting Boundaries
Boundaries establish the standard of treatment to which we believe we are entitled. They define what behaviors towards us are acceptable or unacceptable. Boundaries protect us from invasions of our space, feelings, limitations, and expectations. They enable us to assert our identity, achieve our goals and objectives, and prevent others from manipulating, exploiting, or taking advantage of us.
Knowing and securing our boundaries is a direct result of a healthy sense of self-awareness. It requires self-confidence and a clear recognition of our value and significance. Healthy emotional boundaries prioritize our feelings and needs.
Our social anxiety provokes us to anticipate criticism and ridicule. We obsess over what others think and say about us. Our desire to be accepted makes us reticent to assert our needs and conditions for security and happiness.
Our incapacity to establish, develop, and maintain relationships creates the fear that boundaries limit the possibility of human connection. We worry that self-assertion will bring rejection and isolation. Our negative self-appraisal convinces us we are unworthy.
Rather than saying no, we often overextend ourselves and prioritize the needs of others above our own, which can lead to feelings of resentment and exploitation.
Boundaries are a cornerstone of all healthy relationships. They bring us closer to others by establishing clear understandings of personal values. Defining acceptable behavior fosters communication and self-assurance. When we set boundaries, we take control of our lives, rather than allowing others to dictate our choices.
Defense Mechanisms
Defensemechanisms are temporary safeguards against situations that challenge our conscious minds. They are unconscious and automatic psychological responses designed to protect us from our fears and apprehensions.
We overcompensate, deny, repress, and rationalize our feelings. We project our behaviors onto others rather than confronting them, and we displace our guilt by kicking the dog.
Cognitive Distortions are exaggerated or irrational thought patterns that perpetuate our anxiety and depression. We twist reality to reinforce or justify our toxic thoughts and behaviors. Social anxiety paints an inaccurate picture of the self in the world with others.
The number of cognitive distortionsranges substantially. Thirteen are particularly adept at subverting our self-esteem, including:
Polarized thinking. In polarized thinking, we perceive things as absolute – black or white. There is no middle ground, no compromise. We are either brilliant or abject failures. Our friends are for us or against us. Worse than our anxiety about criticism is our self-judgment. We must be broken and inept if we are not flawless and masterful. There is no room for mistakes or mediocrity.
Filtering. When we filter, we focus on the negative aspects of our lives, fixating on situations and memories that support our defeatist self-appraisal. This creates an emotional imbalance due to the exclusion of healthy thoughts and behaviors. We view ourselves, the world, and our future through an unforgiving lens.
Emotional Reasoning.Emotional reasoning occurs when we make judgments and decisions based solely on our feelings, relying on our emotions or instincts over objective evidence. At the root of this cognitive distortion is the belief that what we feel must be true. If we feel like a loser, then we must be a loser. If we feel incompetent, then we must be incapable. And if we make a mistake, we must be stupid.
Self-Labeling. When we label an individual or group, we reduce them to a single, usually negative, characteristic or descriptor based on a single event or behavior. When we self-label, we sustain our negative self-appraisal. Negative self-labeling supports our sense of incompetence and undesirability, and our subsequent behaviors ostensibly support those labels.
We are consumed and conditioned by negative words. Some of us use the exact destructive words over and over again. The more we hear, read, or speak a word or phrase, the more power it has over us.
It is not just the words we say out loud in criticism and conversations. The self-annihilating words we silently call ourselves are even more destructive. Would you, in good conscience, say these words to a friend or loved one? If you wouldn’t badmouth someone else, why do it to yourself?
Avoid shouldas and wouldas. Negative absolutes like no one, nobody, nothing, and nowhere substantiate our isolation and avoidance of relationships. Qualifiers such as maybe and perhaps devalue our commitment, while our negative self-appraisal, expressed by can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t, provokes our sense of incompetence and inferiority.
It is prudent to become mindful of and eliminate these types of words from our thoughts and vocabulary.
Self-Appreciation
Self-appreciationis not just about feeling good about ourselves. It’s about actively accelerating our self-improvement journey. By being mindful of our good qualities, efforts, and achievements, we can dramatically reinvigorate our self-esteem. This, in turn, accelerates and consolidates our neural restructuring.
Give yourself credit for making positive changes. Recognize all the good things you accomplish daily. Appreciate yourself by doing something nice for yourself every day.
We are responsible for our emotional well-being and overall quality of life. We are accountable for rebuilding our self-esteem. Self-esteem is the catalyst for self-appreciation, which in reciprocation consolidates self-esteem.
We take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others. We embrace our worth and potential, championing them in others and making them feel valued and significant.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is absent in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
We all wear a kind of mask or personafor different situations that hide our insecure feelings and flaws, presenting a polished, controlled face to specific conditions. In psychology, the term “persona” refers to the social guise that we present to the world. In essence, our persona is a compromise between our current psychological state and societal expectations, such as being confident, approachable, or professional.
Just as actors assume different roles, we all have our portfolio of personas that we unveil depending on the situation. If effective, our personas make us more relatable and accepted in social settings.
Purpose of a Persona
For those experiencing social anxiety, a compelling persona is designed to make a positive impression while concealing the nature of our condition. Developingpersonas as coping mechanisms helps us prepare for and adapt to multiple exposure situations. For instance, if we have a fear of public speaking, we can present a confident and articulate persona to our audience, thereby reducing our fears and anxiety.
Jung’s Archetype
Carl Jung claimed the persona as one of his primary archetypes – inherited patterns of identity that significantly influence human behavior. These archetypes are deeply ingrained in our psyche and influence how we perceive and interact with the world.
According to Jung, developing a viable social persona is a vital part of adapting to and preparing for adult life in the external social world, which is a powerful coping mechanism for those of us experiencing social anxiety.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Stanislavski’s Method
Personas have been part of culture since the pre-Roman days. The word itself is Latin and refers to masks worn by the Etruscan mimes, circa 600 B.C.E. Personas were adopted by Konstantin Stanislavski, who lived around the same time as Jung, who developed them as a method for actors to inhabit their roles.
Adaptability
Our personas are not fixed, but rather adapt to the context in which we find ourselves. They establish our body language and determine how we carry ourselves, the timbre of our voice, attitude, and dress. This adaptability empowers us to navigate different situations with confidence and control, making us feel more in charge of our social interactions.
Situations
A situation, in the context of social anxiety, is the set of circumstances – the facts, conditions, and incidents affecting us at a particular time in a specific place.
Feared Situationsare situations that provoke our fears and anxieties. These are individually specific. It might be a social event, the office, the family dinner, or the barbershop. Anticipated and recurring situations are those situations that we know in advance provoke our fears and anxieties, while unexpected situations are intrusive and unanticipated.
Personas as a Coping Mechanism
In recovery, we deliberately formulate personas as coping mechanisms utilized to alleviate the stress of a situation. Personas constructively mask our social anxiety.
It is a coping mechanism designed to make an impression, e.g., one of confidence or insouciance, while concealing the physical and emotional symptoms of our condition. It can be used as an adaptive affirmation of our composure or self-command.
Moreover, personas serve as a coping distraction, reducing the influx of fear and anxiety-provoking hormones. A well-crafted persona can reveal our inherent strengths, which social anxiety may have obscured, thereby helping us reclaim and rebuild our self-esteem.
An Extension of the Self
While some may identify the persona as separate or differentiated from the authentic self, our persona is not inauthentic but a divergent and healthy aspect of the genuine self. Adopting a healthy persona does not conceal our true nature but presents another facet of our personality. Our persona is not a departure from our true self, but an extension of it.
The Social Psychology of Dress
Persona is a component of the Social Psychology of Dress, which is a field concerned with how our dress appearance affects our behavior and that of others toward us. It examines how our outward appearance, encompassing our clothing and grooming choices, affects our self-perception and the perception of others. Think about how you behave in various environments (work, home, social gatherings). What traits do you showcase?
Our outward appearance mirrors our internal vision of who we want to present ourselves as. Persona is more than an image or affectation. It is the attitude and performance that reflect our internal vision.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Self-Complexity Theory
Based on the self-complexity theory, individuals create or embellish their identity to navigate life more effectively. Creating personas is a powerful tool that allows us to harness our diverse range of personalities, putting us in the driver’s seat of our social interactions.
The self-complexity theory posits that an individual with multiple and unique self-aspects will have greater and healthier self-complexity than one who has only a few self-aspects. For our purposes, we will define self-complexities as personas.
Personas as Aspects of our Identity
Multiple personas are not an indicator of identity loss. Personas are not other selves distinct from who we are, but different aspects of our identity. A persona is not entirely who we are; it’s a part of us that we choose to show.
To analogize, all the clothes in our wardrobe belong to us, but we choose an outfit for a specific occasion to appeal to our sense of self. The same pattern of thought-driven choice establishes our persona.
Positive Impact of Personas
The direct link between our behavior and our emotions is undeniable. Research has shown that even attempting a smile can alter our mood. Moreover, it signals our brain to release, among other hormones, GABA for relaxation, dopamine for motivation, endorphins to boost self-esteem, and serotonin for a sense of well-being. Just imagine the positive impact a well-crafted persona can have on our self-esteem.
The ‘Act As If’ Technique
Revealing personas is not just about managing social anxiety but about enhancing our overall well-being. As William James famously wrote, “If you want a quality, act as if you already have it.” In psychology, the ‘Act As If Technique’ is designed to inspire us to adopt the mindset and behaviors of the person we choose to present during a social situation. This approach can lead to a more positive and hopeful outlook on life, motivating and inspiring us to strive for a better self.
In recovery, we consciously determine and project positive outcomes to our efforts. Which helps build self-confidence and modify our behavior to support the end result.
Projected Positive Outcome
A projected positive outcome is an optimistic outcome scenario. We determine the probability of success and project our outcome accordingly. What can we reasonably achieve? What would satisfy our efforts? And what would leave us with a sense of pride and accomplishment? Their reasonableness guarantees success, avoiding disappointment and self-recrimination.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
Our personas reflect the version of ourselves we strive to become. Acting as if something will occur is a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a form of the ‘fake it till you make it’ technique, where we promote positive aspects of ourselves to enhance our persona. To fake it is to pretend to be capable and confident; to make it means our persona effectively supports our goals.
We develop our persona as a coping mechanism for a specific situation. For example, we may adopt the persona of a gregarious and approachable character to compensate for our fear of attending a social event.
Our persona is an extension of ourselves, influenced by the demands of the situation. We design it to instill self-confidence while presenting that same confidence to others. This process helps us alleviate fear and anxiety, boosting our positivity in social interactions.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO IMPORTANT AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Overgeneralization, Jumping to Conclusions & Catastrophizing
This is a pre-edited excerpt from my upcoming book on social anxiety, tentatively titled A TOUGH LOVE AND COMMON SENSE APPROACH to Recovery from Social Anxiety.
Three closely aligned cognitive distortions are all derived from our compulsion to dramatize our conclusions about situations. Overgeneralization, jumping to conclusions and catastrophizing arethe engine, car, and caboose of our exaggerated reactions to common situations.
Let’s take an example from our social anxiety. We overgeneralize that a failed relationship means every other effort will generate the same negative response. We then promptly conclude that we will never experience a healthy relationship. The catastrophic belief is that we will become isolated and friendless, with multiple cats to keep us company.
These three closely related cognitive distortions are broad, unsubstantiated, and ostensibly inaccurate subjective projections. Here’s how we tell them apart.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Overgeneralization
We overgeneralizewhen we drawconclusions that exceed what could be logically explained, usually applying statistics from a small sample size to a larger population.
The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.
Overgeneralizing happens when we make exaggerated claims about something or someone without evidence. We make false conclusions based on limited or inaccurate information. Convinced that a negative experience or behavior applies to similar situations, whether or not the circumstances are comparable.
We assume an isolated behavior represents an entire group, which leads to stereotyping. We view a one-time incident as a never-ending pattern of regularity, disputing the potential for behavioral change. Moreover, we disregard evidence that disputes our findings.
Like filtering, where we ignore the positive and dwell on the negative, overgeneralization supports our SAD-induced tendency to assume the worst of an incident or behavior, usually due to prior experience. So ‘once’ becomes ‘many,’ ‘sometimes becomes always,’ and ‘possibly’ becomes ‘probably.’
For example, because the sushi made us ill, all East Asian restaurants are unhealthy.
These irrational conclusions prevent us from placing ourselves in similar situations where we assume a bad experience will repeat itself. Our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs) are usually overgeneralizations.
If we feel rejected at a social gathering, we may conclude, “I am undesirable. No one will ever like me,” which supports the likelihood that we will suspect and avoid future social situations
We overgeneralize when we claim that all politicians are corrupt or all priests are pedophiles based on small representations. Outlaw gangs often ride motorcycles. Therefore, the couple on the Harley-Davidson must be members of an outlaw gang. These are all instances of overgeneralization that we encounter in our daily lives.
Overgeneralization can make it difficult to establish and maintain relationships. Our condition makes establishing and maintaining relationships difficult, and they often fail, making us consider all potential relationships too risky. A mistake at work might repeat itself and lead to overgeneralizing our ineffectiveness, hindering our professional growth. This cycle of negative self-appraisal further damages our already fragile self-esteem.
Jumping to Conclusions
Jumping to conclusionsinvolves makingbroad and inaccurate conjectures that unsubstantiated by evidence.
The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he enjoys heavy metal.
When we overgeneralize, we infer that a single behavior or incident indicates a pattern. Jumping to conclusions occurs when we make a broad assumption based on a particular behavior or incident despite having evidence to the contrary. Most of the symptoms of our condition are examples of jumping to conclusions.
Our negative core beliefs and self-appraisal compel us to jump to conclusions. We assume that we will embarrass or humiliate ourselves during a situation because we feel stupid. We jump to the conclusion that no one will talk to us because the shame of our condition makes us want to hide. And we avoid companionship and intimacy because we jump to the conclusion that we are undesirable.
Jumping to conclusions implies we are telepathic and clairvoyant. Our projection of adverse outcomes makes us fortune tellers and mind readers. Fortune telling is a type of cognitive distortion where we predict adverse outcomes. We symptomatically focus on the worst-case scenario and the probability of disaster. We become faux mind-readers when we conclude we are subject to criticism and ridicule.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Catastrophizing
When we catastrophize, we assume the worst by imagining a situation potentially more disastrous than logic dictates.
The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.
Chicken Little was plucking worms in the henyard when an acorn dropped from a tree onto her head. She immediately assumed the worst. “The sky is falling, the sky is falling,” she clucked hysterically.
Catastrophizing compels us to conclude that the worst-case scenario has or will occur when specific things happen rather than considering plausible explanations. It is the irrational assumption that something is or will be far worse than reasonably probable. We prophesize the worst and twist reality to support our projection.
For instance, if our significant other has a bad week, we might conclude that the relationship is in jeopardy (external control), leading to behaviors that could instigate such an outcome. We catastrophize by convincing ourselves that divorce is imminent and we will never find love again.
If we receive a disappointing grade on a test, we may conclude that we will fail the course. Or catastrophize that we will never graduate. If our manager isn’t happy with how we performed a task, we might jump to the conclusion that we will not be promoted or convince ourselves that we will lose our jobs and will never work again.
If we experiencemigraines or abdominal pain, we might decide to rest up or see a physician if the pain continues. Convincing ourselves that we have a brain tumor or a ruptured appendix is catastrophizing.
Catastrophizing is not just a cognitive distortion; it’s paralyzing. It limits our interactivity and social engagement because we are on the cusp of disaster. Catastrophizing prevents us from trying new things and experiencing life to the fullest. It shuts out possibilities. It limits our ability to establish, develop, and maintain healthy relationships. Understanding the paralyzing effect of catastrophizing is the first step towards overcoming it and living a more fulfilling life.
One of the four central core beliefs associated with social anxiety and depression is our sense of helplessness. This perceived impotence, if left unchecked, can become a learned behavior developed through repetition and experience.
We express learned helplessness when we convince ourselves that if we lack control over some experience in the past, we will never have control over it. It’s crucial to recognize and address the self-destructive nature of our perceived impotence to regain control over our assumptions and conclusions.
To Encapsulate
Overgeneralization: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because most teenagers in this neighborhood are delinquents.
Jumping to Conclusions: The neighbor’s teenage son is a delinquent because he listens to heavy metal.
Catastrophizing: The neighbor’s teenage son will do us harm because he is a delinquent who enjoys heavy metal.
Solutions
The obvious suggestion is to stop blowing things out of proportion. That’s easier said than done, and given our condition, it’s prudent to repeatedly instruct our neural network to focus on common-sense thinking.
Recognizing the irrationality of these assumptions is the first step to challenging and changing them.When we overgeneralize, jump to conclusions, and catastrophize, we prophesize potential adverse outcomes and shape our behaviors to ensure they happen.
By devising rational explanations, we can break this cycle
Our desire for stability causes us to seek certainty and predictability. Our anxiety flourishes in fearful or unfamiliar situations. This is because our ‘fight-or-flight response,’ a natural reaction to stress, compels us to make rash and careless assumptions without considering other possibilities and perspectives.
It is essential to remain vigilant that cognitive distortions may support our twisted interpretations, such as believing ‘I’m a failure’ after a minor setback, and validate our irrational thoughts and behaviors, like avoiding social situations due to fear of judgment. Still, their inaccuracies perpetuate our anxiety and depression. By considering other possibilities and perspectives, such as ‘I may have made a mistake, but it doesn’t define me’ or ‘Others may not be judging me as harshly as I think’, we can challenge these distortions.
There are simple and obvious steps we can take to eliminate these distortions.
Justify our conclusions with evidence. What research and data support them? Do we truly know anything about the subject? What fears, experiences, and prejudices initiated these conclusions? Perhaps our obsession with rejection rejecting us compels us to attack first as a form of self-defense. This critical thinking is crucial in combating these emotional distortions.
Place ourselves in the shoes of those we subject to inaccurate and derogatory accusations. How do we feel when the tables are turned, as they invariably are when we succumb to our SAD-induced fears of criticism and ridicule?
Assess the situation and consider plausible explanations and other perspectives. Respond rationally rather than emotionally.We have the power to stop these negative thought patterns. We identify them, write them down, analyze their irrationality, and produce common-sense solutions.
Practice basic self-care. These irrational conclusions are more likely to materialize during periods of fatigue or stress. Basic self-care practices, such as getting enough sleep and eating properly, exercising regularly, connecting with nature, and taking time to reflect with gratitude on the positive aspects of our lives, can help us feel more emotionally balanced.
By prioritizing self-care, we show ourselves the care and attention we deserve, which can help manage unproductive thoughts.
Stop overthinking. When we overthink, we obsess, engaging in repetitive and unproductive thoughts. We make mountains out of molehills. Overthinking is a hindrance to personal development because it entails ruminating about our past habits and failures, whereas recovery is a here-and-now solution that will positively impact the future.
Thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts or reality unless we make them so.
Compassion can help us see situations through the other’s perspective, reducing our tendency to distort the accuracy of the situation. Critical thinking will challenge our assumptions to avoid distorting our conclusions.
As we progress, we become acutely aware (identify, comprehend, and accept) our perverse idiosyncrasies. We recognize them in our behaviors and notice them in others. We identify them when we make unthinking and unfounded statements and observations.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs aimed at (1) alleviating symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) helping individuals tap into their innate potential for extraordinary living. Our unique approach focuses on understanding personality through empathy and collaboration, integrating neuroscience and psychology. This includes proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to rebuild self-esteem. Every contribution, no matter the size, supports individuals striving to make a positive change in their own lives and the lives of others. All donations go towards scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle. ̶ Sun Tzu
Knowing Social Anxiety
Few had heard of social anxiety before 1994. When I returned to university in my late forties, recovery methods were still in their formative stages and, as I later discovered, poorly invested in social anxiety. Even today, experts treat our condition like any other emotional malfunction when it is anything but. Social anxiety, nicknamed the ‘neglected anxiety disorder,‘ presents unique challenges through its cunning ability to make recovery approaches – productive for most disorders – woefully inefficient for those in our condition.
Although it was apparent to me early on that conventional treatment options for social anxiety were ineffective, the reasons were unclear. After much research and personal application, I embarked on a journey of comprehending how social anxiety sustains itself. I discovered that the mysteries of social anxiety, like the sacred Eleusinian sect of ancient Greece, only reveal themselves to the initiated.
In other words, only someone who has walked in our shoes and defeated the oppression of social anxiety can effectively guide you through recovery. Conventional recovery methods, while clinically sound and well-intentioned, are unreliable at best.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
What is Social Anxiety?
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) is a multifaceted and intricate health condition. In the forward to these posts, I emphasize that the distinction between social anxiety, and the DSM-identified social anxiety disorder is not just a matter of severity; it’s a complex interplay of various factors. As any expert will attest, there are subtle differences. However, the recovery process, sans medication, is individually focused and remains strikingly similar.
SAD is a formidable opponent, a master of disguise that withholds its secrets from those who haven’t experienced its enigmatic and catastrophic nature. It is more mysterious than a hormonal teenager, and deciphering its enigmatic structure is challenging, but together we can methodically unravel its mysteries.
SAD steals our identity, making us feel unwelcome and exposed in social situations because we feel unworthy. The condition crushes our self-esteem, causing us to doubt our worth and abilities. It saps our motivation, causing us to avoid activities and personal connectivity. SAD does not want us to be happy because that takes away its power. It does not want us to know how it operates. It does not want to release us from its insidious grasp.
SAD is the fearful boogeyman who can only be excised by the bright, exposing light of rationality.
SAD makes us feel helpless and hopeless, trapped in a vicious cycle of fear and anxiety, and restricted from living a ‘normal’ life. Our fear of disapproval is so severe we avoid the life-affirming experiences that connect us with others and the world. We fear the unknown and unexplored. We endure anxiety for weeks before a situation, anticipating the worst. And we worry about how others perceive us and how we express ourselves.
SAD is like one of those movies in which aliens invade our bodies. They feed off our misery and hopelessness, thriving off our fears and anxieties. The only thing that can kill them is identifying and overwhelming them with rational mindfulness. We starve them with positivity and self-awareness, causing them to wither and die.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Two Keys to Understanding Social Anxiety
What is Sun Tzu telling us in this post’s opening quote? To effectively challenge our condition, we must know exactly what we are confronting and how it affects us individually. This knowledge empowers us to appreciate the caliber of its weaponry and fashion superior ones, putting us in control of our recovery.
Knowing the ‘Enemy’
Knowing how our social anxiety controls and manipulates us is one key to recovery. Recognizing the symptoms and characteristics of our condition provides the wherewithal to overwhelm and defeat them.
One of the biggest impediments to recovery is our unwillingness to accept or disclose our condition. Many of us deliberately choose to remain ignorant of SAD’s destructive capabilities or go to enormous lengths to remain oblivious to them, as if, by ignoring them, they do not exist or will somehow go away.
It’s astonishing how many clients, after enduring SAD for their entire lives, choose to remain clueless about the easily identifiable symptoms listed by every reputable mental health institute.
The Symptoms
So, let’s put an end to our ignorance once and for all by identifying the common characteristics of social anxiety disorder.
We fear situations in which we may be judged negatively
We worry about embarrassing or humiliating ourselves.
We have an intense fear of interacting or talking with strangers.
We fear that others will notice that we look anxious.
We fear revealing physical symptoms that may cause us embarrassment, such as blushing, sweating, trembling, or a shaky voice.
We avoid doing things or speaking to people out of fear of embarrassment.
We avoid situations where we fear being the center of attention.
We express anxiety in anticipation of a feared activity or event.
We have intense fear or anxiety during social situations.
We negatively analyze our performance and focus on our faulty interactions after a social situation.
We expect or self-prophesize the worst possible consequences from a negative experience during a social situation.
So, no more excuses. We now have a basic understanding of the common symptoms of our condition. Social anxiety instills in us unsound fears and apprehensions that are disproportionate to the actual situation. Social anxiety steals our autonomy, hopes, and dreams. It crushes our expectations and possibilities, causing us to miss opportunities to connect with the world. We beat ourselves up for our perceived defects and inadequacies. SAD convinces us that we are undesirable and worthless.
Knowing Ourselves
The other equally important key to recovery is understanding how we are adversely affected by SAD. Because we are unique individuals with diverse experiences, environments, beliefs, needs, and aspirations, these challenges are highly subjective and differ with each individual.
While occasional anxiety is a normal part of life, those of us with SAD experience it in a different, more intense way. We tend to personalize and dramatize our anxiety. Often blowing it out of proportion and obsessing over its potential negative outcomes. This can lead to self-fulfilling prophecies where we inadvertently encourage our failures.
Living with SAD means dealing with persistent anxiety and fear in everyday situations. Even simple tasks like eating in front of others, riding a bus, or using a public restroom can become unduly stressful. We often find ourselves seeking invisibility, hoping to avoid any situation that might require us to participate. As Matty S. shared in our workshop, ‘I spent high school trying to hide in every dark corner with a book in my face. I never once ate lunch in four years, and never once went to the bathroom in four years at my high school, for fear of having to interact with people.’
Living with SAD means navigating a paradoxical emotional landscape. We often find ourselves craving companionship while shunning intimacy, fearing that we will be deemed unlikeable. It’s not fear that destroys our lives, but the avoidance strategies we develop to cope with it. At the peak of my anxiety, I would circle the block repeatedly before a social situation to bolster my courage. Often, I ended up in the bar across the street rather than the event, a clear example of how I anticipated and guaranteed my self-loathing through avoidance.
Our social interactions are often clumsy, small talk inelegant, and attempts at humor embarrassing. Our anticipation of repudiation motivates us to dismiss overtures to offset any possibility of rejection. SAD is repressive and intractable, imposing self-destructive thoughts and behaviors. It establishes its authority through defeatist measures produced by distorted and unsound interpretations of reality.
Sharing our experiences with social anxiety is like describing an alien disease – a solitary and fruitless endeavor, as others struggle to comprehend what is only understandable to the person afflicted. The comprehensible lack of empathy further isolates us as we face the challenges of our condition alone, highlighting the struggle and need for understanding our complex relationship with our condition.
The journey to self-discovery and overcoming anxiety is a gradual process that requires patience, introspection, and persistence. What makes us tick? What triggers our fears and apprehensions? Where do we feel anxious or fearful? What activities are we engaged in, and what thoughts arise? How do we feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What specific concerns or worries do we have? What is the worst thing that could happen? And what do we imagine might occur? Who, where, or what do we avoid due to these feelings?
Once we have a healthy understanding of SAD and how it personally affects us, we will have met Sun Tzu’s criteria for fearlessness in facing the many battles that lie ahead.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. No matter the size, every contribution supports someone striving to make a difference in their lives and those of others. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
I was recently chatting with Stephanie from Singing Gecko on one of her posts. And she mentioned my comment was Stoic and optimistic and I absolutely loved that. But before I go into this story, I want to take a minute to shoutout Stephanie. She is such a cool person. Her posts really make me think and she has an awesome vibe. Do check out her blog. Okay, now back to how Stoicism saved my mental health.
Basically her comment reminded me that I am in fact a Stoic and have practised Stoicism for years now. I first learnt about it in my first year of university when I took a philosophy course. It really stood out to me because it was the first time I had heard a philosophical school of thought that perfectly encompassed my own beliefs. And the more I read about it, the more I agreed with what I was reading.
Over time, I began to include Stoic practices in my life and saw a major shift in my mental health. But first, let’s talk about Stoicism. I’m sure most people that know are interested in philosophy or know basic philosophical schools will be familiar with Stoicism. But for those that may not be, I’ve shared a little bit about Stoicism and a Wikipedia link if you would like to read more about it.
What Is Stoicism?
“Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy that flourished in Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome. The Stoics believed that the practice of virtue is enough to achieve eudaimonia: a well-lived life. The Stoics identified the path to achieving it with a life spent practicing the four cardinal virtues in everyday life — prudence, fortitude, temperance, and justice — as well as living in accordance with nature. It was founded in the ancient Agora of Athens by Zeno of Citium around 300 BCE.
Alongside Aristotle’s ethics, the Stoic tradition forms one of the major founding approaches to virtue ethics. The Stoics are especially known for teaching that “virtue is the only good” for human beings, and that external things, such as health, wealth, and pleasure, are not good or bad in themselves (adiaphora) but have value as “material for virtue to act upon”.
Many Stoics—such as Seneca and Epictetus—emphasized that because “virtue is sufficient for happiness”, a sage would be emotionally resilient to misfortune. The Stoics also believed that certain destructive emotions resulted from errors of judgment, and people should aim to maintain a will (called prohairesis) that is “in accordance with nature”. Because of this, the Stoics thought the best indication of an individual’s philosophy was not what a person said but how the person behaved.
To live a good life, one had to understand the rules of the natural order since they believed everything was rooted in nature.” (Source: Wikipedia)
How Stoicism Saved My Mental Health
So, now that you have a better understanding of Stoicism we can get into how Stoicism saved my mental health and has pretty much changed my life over the last few years. For those of you that don’t know, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety as a teenager. So that’s what I’ll be referencing throughout the post. Anyway, this is how Stoicism saved my mental health:
Acceptance
One major aspect of Stoicism is that Stoics believe that we have free will but also that there are things out of our control. Basically, we believe in destiny, that things are pre-determined. However, how we choose to perceive things is up to us. Realising this was a giant game changer for me.
Growing up, I was always someone that needed control. I like things to be perfect, everything has its place. When things don’t go exactly as planned and even if there’s a slight hitch I would go into absolute anxiety mode. However, I have become so much more calm now when things don’t go as planned. Of course, I’m not perfect at it and I don’t think perfection is achievable. But I accept things that come my way. I experience the negative emotions associated with it and then I process and let them go. I don’t let it debilitate me.
This has been a huge game-changer for my anxiety. I’m no longer meticulously plan every tiny aspect of my life because I’m terrified I’ll do something wrong if I don’t. Can you imagine how exhausting it was for me to be doing that before? But no more. Now, I let life do its thing because I understand that being on anxiety mode 24/7 is not going to change my destiny. But how I choose to react will. I control what I can and I accept what I can’t
Stoic Exercises/Practices
There are a number of Stoic practices that those that believe in Stoicism try to include into their life. Today, I want to talk about two that I practice that have helped me so much with my mental health.
The first one is negative visualisation. This is a technique where you periodically imagine losing the things you value (like your job, health, or loved ones). I know, this sounds super grim and trust me it’s not for everyone. But hear me out. This made my life so much easier and decreased my anxiety immensely. I used to be so anxious all the time about bad things happening. Losing people I love, losing my health, not doing well in school, losing clients etc. But this practice has helped me picture the worst again and again until it’s no longer as anxiety inducing for me. I have finally come to terms with the fact that it’s a part of life that sometimes we do lose things we value. But we can’t let that stop us, we have to stay strong and keep going even when we hit rock bottom.
Another practice that I have added to my routine is voluntary discomfort. Stoics often engage in practices that voluntarily make life harder to build resilience and remind themselves that discomfort is not inherently bad. Earlier, when my anxiety was at its worst any sort of discomfort would ruin my day and I would shy away from it. I realised that this was actually a trauma response.
For me, voluntary discomfort is about doing social things because that makes me very uncomfortable. A few years ago, even leaving the house would give me anxiety. Now, I go out all the time. Sometimes on my own just to have a relaxing mental health day. I’m no longer scared to dine alone, shop alone, talk to new people. Things that would have petrified me have now become enjoyable.
Courage
This was a big one for me and one that was a major trigger for my depression. I’ve always been one of those people that are extremely sensitive to fighting or confrontation. That’s a huge trigger for my PTSD. But I’m also someone that takes their morals and ethics really seriously. When someone does something I believe is wrong or harming someone else, I feel unsettled. But I would never confront people about their behaviour before. Especially narcissists. Now, I’m not longer afraid of confrontation. I still avoid it when I can but when I need to say something, I do it.
Acting in accordance with virtue, even in the face of adversity is an important part of Stoicism. And it’s what taught me to stand up for myself and those that couldn’t stand up for themselves. I’m really proud of how far I’ve come. And thanks to no longer bottling everything up and setting healthy boundaries, my depression and anxiety have gotten so much better. Instead of being depressed that the world sucks, I can now stand up and fight for things to get better.
Moderation and Neutrality
Exercising moderation in all things and avoiding excess is another things I learnt from Stoicism. I used to see things as very black and white before I began actively practicing Stoicism. And that was a really depressing way to see the world. It made me very pessimistic and unhappy.
Now, I understand that things are much more complex. Nothing is black and white, most things are grey. Which is why it’s important to try to stay neutral and objective. Don’t get to a place where you’re on an unrealistic extreme.
As for moderation, I think I’ve generally been a pretty moderate person but over time I have become much less materialistic. I was never that materialistic but I did like occasionally to splurge on things I was interested in like books, skincare, makeup etc. Now, I put a lot more importance on people and memories instead of stuff.
The Bigger Picture
One thing I did a lot of reading and reflecting about is living according to nature. For Stoics, this means understanding the natural world and our place within it. It involves recognising that life is unpredictable and transient. Change is a constant part of it. And that is why it’s so important to learn to accept that and be prepared instead of holding on to the past.
Figuring out my place in the world also helped me recognise just how insignificant I am. Which again, I know sounds a little depressing but it wasn’t for me. It had the opposite effect. I was no longer insecure about those little flaws I saw in the mirror, about my weight, my hair, my body. Because none of that mattered and most people probably didn’t even notice or care about those things. I was just a tiny part of a big world. This did wonders for my social anxiety.
Constant Growth
Wisdom and understanding what is truly important in life is one of the cornerstones of Stoicism. Stoics often practice mindfulness and reflection. Regularly reflecting on your thoughts, actions, and responses helps Stoics become more self-aware. This practice encourages us to examine our judgments and adjust them to align with virtue.
I’ve talked about meditation, mindfulness and reflection quite a lot in my mental health related posts so I won’t go into too much detail again on this one. The post has already become so much longer than I expected it to be. But basically, reflecting on my day and trying to be a better version of myself each day has helped me immensely with my mental health. It’s helped me understand myself and those around me. And most importantly, it’s helped me become a better person which in turn makes me a lot more confident than I used to be. I know what I stand for and don’t look to others to define me.
Final Thoughts
That’s how Stoicism saved my mental health and helped me be the person I’ve become today. I hope you enjoyed this post. I don’t talk about my philosophical beliefs much because I feel like people wouldn’t care too much or would maybe not find that interesting. People that love philosophy love it but those that don’t really don’t. But since a lot of my readers do enjoy my mental health related posts, I thought this would be interesting to them. And maybe a different perspective because I don’t see many people talking about Stoicism in relation to mental health. But for me the two are interrelated and it was important for me to tell my story of how Stoicism saved my mental health.
Disclaimer: If you or someone you love are experiencing mental health problems please talk to a professional or someone you trust. Please seek help if you feel that it is necessary. There is absolutely nothing wrong with needing help.
Lifesfinewhine, a timely and popular website, is a beacon of hope for those navigating mental health issues. Its producer, P.J. Gudka, was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety as a teenager. Through research and self-reflection, she has gained a profound understanding of mental health illnesses and the stigma that often surrounds them. Her latest book, All the Words I Kept Inside, is a transformative collection of poetry that encourages readers to delve deep within themselves and confront their darkest thoughts. It takes the inner dread, disappointment, and heartache we all experience and reveals the words of the heart, inspiring hope and transformation.
If you have a story or perspective to share, we encourage you to submit a post for ReChanneling’s website. Please contact rmullenphd@gmail.com to learn more about the submission process.
Unable to cope with fear and uncertainty, a person resorts to denial, repression, compromise, and hides behind the mask of a false self. ― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Todd Scrolls
Defense Mechanisms
Understanding and applying coping mechanisms can significantly empower us to alleviate stress and reduce the release of fear and anxiety-inducing hormones. Recovery-oriented coping mechanisms, such as distractions and projecting positive outcomes, give us a sense of control when confronting fearful situations.
Maladaptive coping mechanisms, which we all use at some point, are known as defense mechanisms. These are temporary strategies we unconsciously employ to handle triggers our minds are unequipped to manage.
Defense mechanisms are mostly unconscious and automatic safeguards against stressful situations—psychological reactions designed to protect us from trauma. Although these psychological responses defend us from our fears and anxieties, they are not long-term solutions.
Examples of such mechanisms include denial, conversion, projection, and repression.
Without coping mechanisms, defensive or otherwise, we can experiencedecompensation – the inability to generate effective psychological coping mechanisms in response to stress – resulting in personality disturbance or disintegration.
The difference between defense and coping mechanisms is that the latter are adaptive and promote emotional well-being and recovery. For instance, avoiding a social situation due to fear of criticism and rejection would be considered a defense mechanism, while confronting the feared situation by employing positive self-talk, mindfulness, and social skills training is adopting coping mechanisms.
It is important to remember that although coping and defense mechanisms do not address the root causes of our fears and anxieties, they can provide limited emotional relief. Like an analgesic that temporarily alleviates physical pain, these mechanisms can positively influence our emotional well-being and help rebuild our self-esteem as we navigate our mental health journey. However, it’s crucial to understand and address the root causes.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Notwithstanding their label, many defense mechanisms support recovery when utilized appropriately. Some, like avoidance, humor,and isolation, need no explanation. Others, such as compensation and dissociation, have positive values in recovery when employed appropriately.
Compensation is when we overachieve in one area of our lives to offset perceived failures in another. For example, a poor student may become a star athlete. We compensate for our negative thoughts and behaviors by channeling our efforts into healthy, productive accomplishments. This process helps rebuild our self-esteem as we focus on our strengths, virtues, and attributes rather than the aspects of ourselves affected by social anxiety.
In essence, we leverage our best qualities to counteract any perceived deficits in self-esteem caused by our social anxiety.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Dissociation
In psychological terms, dissociation refers to the experience of detaching from reality. Dissociation can range from mild emotional detachment to more significant disconnection from physical and emotional trauma. Dissociation helps people manage their emotional well-being by separating their thoughts, memories, feelings, and actions from distressing situation(s).
In less severe cases, we might dissociate by daydreaming or losing ourselves in a good book or movie, which can temporarily relieve stress.
In recovery, we practice deliberate dissociation from the symptoms of social anxiety. This act allows us to separate ourselves from the negative aspects of our condition to focus on our character assets. It provides a sense of control and confidence to objectively analyze our thoughts and behaviors to respond rationally and productively.
When our identity remains intertwined with social anxiety, consciously dissociating from the symptoms of our condition is a functional and productive approach.
Dissociation
Dissociation helps us recognize that we are not defined by our condition’s adversities but rather by our resilience, assets, and determination. It is a deliberate act rather than the unconscious responses linked to our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs).
Theoretically, when we disassociate, parts of our brain become more active and others less active. To regenerate our self-esteem, we energize the positive aspects of our character over the adverse self-appraisal of our condition.
For those who dispute my use of dissociation as frivolous, substitute the words disconnect, separate, uncouple, disunite, or liberate.
When we remain entangled with our social anxiety disorder, we often see ourselves as helpless, hopeless, undesirable, and worthless. These core and intermediate beliefs, shaped by childhood experiences and reinforced by our condition, become the nemesis of our self-appraisal.
By dissociating from social anxiety, we step away from self-targeting to objectively analyze our irrational thoughts and behaviors, leading to more rational and productive responses.
This shift from a disease model to a wellness model is significant. The disease model focuses on the problem, while the wellness model—rooted in humanistic and positive psychologies—emphasizes the solution. It defines health as physical, mental, and social well-being rather than merely the absence of disease or infirmity. This change in perspective fosters optimism for our recovery and reveals opportunities and possibilities.
It’s important to remember that we are not our social anxiety; we are individuals experiencing social anxiety. We do not identify as the injured limb when we break our leg. We view it as something that requires healing. The same principle applies to our recovery from social anxiety. Dissociation is not a sign of weakness; it is a tool we use to distance ourselves from our condition and take proactive steps toward healing.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. No matter the size, every contribution supports someone striving to make a difference in their lives and those of others. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it is about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. – Paul Coelho
Our character comprises the mental, emotional, and moral qualities distinctive to our individuality. Traditional psychology and its extensions use the term “character” to refer to our patterns of behavioral traits such as passive-aggressive, narcissistic, anal, hysterical, borderline, and so on. The pathographic or disease model of mental healthcare, the modus operandi for centuries, continues to be the overriding psychological perspective, focusing on the biological and neurological origins of mental illness, i.e., the study of the origins of our harmful behaviors.
The wellness model, a pivotal concept in early positive psychology (1998-), shifted the focus from the pathography of mental illness to the healthy aspects of behavior – our character strengths, virtues, and attributes. It emphasized that character is not just a collection of traits but a dynamic expression of positive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that underscore our emotional, mental, and moral character.
Positive psychology 2.0, a corrective evolution, embraced both positive and negative aspects of our character, recognizing the dialectical opposition of human experience. It proposed that optimal human functioning is not just about positivity but about living a balanced and meaningful life, engaging fully with our positive and negative aspects.
The next and current wave of positive psychology (3.0) broadened the scope of research and practice beyond the individual to include relationships, groups, organizations, and societies – how our character and values reflect and contribute to the community to which we belong, influence, and are influenced.
“Dr. Mullen is doing impressive work helping the world. He is the pioneer of proactive neuroplasticity utilizing DRNI – deliberate, repetitive, neural information.” – WeVoice (Madrid, Málaga)
Character Strengths, Virtues, and Attributes
Positive psychology identifies 24 character strengths universally recognized for creating individual stability and resilience. These strengths are not just traits, but powerful tools that can empower us to overcome challenges and lead a fulfilling life.
These strengths are classified into six distinct virtues: wisdom, courage, humanity, justice, temperance, and transcendence.
Positive attributes refer to behavioral moralities contributing to our character and emotional well-being.
Recovery Goal and Objectives
The primary goal of recovery from social anxiety and related conditions is the alleviation of our irrational fears and anxieties. We execute these goals through a three-pronged, complementary approach.
Replace or overwhelm our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones.
Produce rapid, concentrated positive stimulation to offset the abundance of negative information in our brain’s metabolism.
Regenerate our self-esteem through positive reinforcement and mindfulness of our assets, utilizing methods targeted toward our individuality.
From childhood disturbance to our current emotional status, social anxiety has inundated our neural network with adverse stimuli through negative core and intermediate beliefs, SAD symptomatology, and cognitive biases, leading to destructive, irrational thoughts and behaviors. We call this SAD’s negative trajectory. Our brain’s current metabolism is replete with abundant negative information.
Why Create a Character Resumé?
Childhood disturbances generate negative core beliefs that influence our intermediate attitudes, rules, and assumptions. Our attitudes refer to our emotions, convictions, and behaviors. Rules are the principles or regulations that affect our behaviors, and assumptions are what we believe is accurate and authentic information.
Maladaptive attributions produce a cognitive bias that compels us to misinterpret information and make self-destructive decisions. Since humans are hard-wired with a negativity bias, we already respond favorably to adversity. Add our SAD-induced negative trajectory, and our neural network is replete with toxic information.
We convey this through our thoughts and behaviors and the words we use to express them.
Adversity consumes and conditions us throughout our lives. According to reliable sources, we have heard the word “no” from our parents roughly 135,000 times by age sixteen. Some of us use the same unfortunate characterizations repeatedly. It is not just the words we say aloud in criticism and conversations. The self-annihilating words we silently call ourselves support our adverse thoughts and behaviors.
A character resumé, a tool created and expanded during treatment, manages the three significant recovery objectives. It is a document that lists our positive qualities, achievements, and memories as reminders of our strengths and capabilities. Through introspection and memory work, we become mindful of the qualities that social anxiety’s overwhelming negativity has subverted.
This renewed awareness aids in replacing and offsetting our negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy, productive ones. Through proactive neuroplasticity, they become a vital component of the repetitive input of positive information into our neural network. Additionally, mindfulness and reinforcement of these assets dramatically regenerate our self-esteem.
Replace
Our goal is not just to replace or offset our adverse thoughts and behaviors but to empower ourselves with healthy, productive ones. We construct our character resuméwith positive qualities, achievements, and memories to counter the abundance of negative self-beliefs acquired throughout life.
We retrieve and become mindful of them through recovery approaches, e.g., personal introspection and inventory, memory work, cognitive comprehension, and other tools and techniques. This process requires determination and commitment, but the rewards are immense.
Restructure
Proactive neuroplasticity is a powerful tool that produces rapid neurological stimulation to change the polarity of our neural network through the deliberate, repetitive neural input (DRNI) of information. In simpler terms, it’s the process of intentionally rewiring our brain by repeatedly exposing it to positive information.
Our brain receives around two million bits of data per second but processes roughly 126 bits, so providing substantial positive information, which we can pull from our character resumé, is essential.
A deliberate act is premeditated; we initiate and control the process. Repetition accelerates and consolidates neural renewal and connectivity. Sound, reasonable, goal-focused, and unconditional information determines its strength and integrity. The positive traits we include in our character resumé generate the most efficient words and statements to accelerate and consolidate the process of neural restructuring.
Regenerate
Regeneration is the process of renewing or restoring something damaged or underproduced. Due to our negative self-analysis, we tend to repress, misplace, and forget our inherent and developed assets. These self-qualities (e.g., confidence, reliance, compassion, and other self-hyphenates) are damaged but not lost.
Despite the disruptions in our optimal development, the qualities that establish our self-esteem are not lost. They may be latent or dormant but can be developed and restored. Disruption interrupts productivity, but it does not destroy it.
Like stimulating the unexercised muscles in our arms or legs, our self-esteem can be regenerated.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Supports Multiple Learning Styles
Learning styles are the methods clients use to understand and retain information. Creating a carefully crafted character resumé that identifies our positive qualities and achievements satisfies multiple learning styles and increases awareness and retention. A character resumé supports auditory learning through the repetition of positive neural input, visual learning through patterns and colors, verbal learning through the written word, logical learning through the patterns and logic of the outline, and linguistic learning through reading, writing, and listening.
Positive Psychology in Recovery
Positive psychology (1.0), which focuses on character strengths, virtues, and attributes, is a powerful tool in recovery. By recognizing and emphasizing our positive aspects, we counter the abundance of neural negativity and adverse self-appraisal.
When extended, positive psychology’s 24-character strengths provide a diverse array of attributes that can empower the client, shifting the focus from negative to positive. This shift is not just a change, it’s an inspiration, a motivation to embrace our potential and worth.
PP 2.0 and PP 3.0 are essential recovery components but do not directly contribute to our character resumé. However, they factor strongly in the evolution of our recovery.
Positive Psychology 2.0
Recovery is not just about recognizing our strengths, virtues, attributes, and achievements. It’s also about acknowledging our shortcomings. This balanced perspective is critical to repairing our brokenness and moving forward.
Notwithstanding, due to decades of negative self-appraisal perpetrated by social anxiety, our neural network is already grossly imbalanced by negativity, and we are already abundantly aware of our flaws and deficiencies, real and perceptual.
Additionally, recovery is based on identifying the irrational fears and anxieties that perpetuate our thoughts and behaviors and establish our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs). PP 2.0 equips us with the tools to navigate these challenges.
Positive Psychology 3.0
Positive psychology 3.0broadened the scope of research and practice beyond the individual to include relationships, groups, communities, organizations, and societies – how we contribute to the community.
Self-esteem, a crucial aspect of our recovery, is the awareness of our qualities and character, including our imperfections. It encompasses our self-perception, our perception of how others view us, and how we process this information. A healthy level of self-esteem reassures us of our worth and significance.
Our renewed awareness leads to self-compassion and self-appreciation. As we recognize our unique contributions, we are inspired and motivated to share them with others. Interconnectedness is a natural and significant progression of self-esteem, fostering a sense of caring and empathy.
Positive psychology plays a significant role in our recovery journey. It’s not just about self-care but about understanding our worth and potential and championing these self-beliefs in others. This moral evolution is a natural development of recovery, and positive psychology is a critical player in this process.
Method Integration
It’s crucial to understand that positive psychology is just one component of an effective recovery program. A comprehensive plan includes closely related programs such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, active and proactive neuroplasticity, recovery-oriented cognitive therapy, schema therapy, cognitive-behavioral modification, acceptance and commitment therapy, rational emotional behavior therapy, and gradual exposure therapy. Recognizing the role of positive psychology in this comprehensive context underscores the effectiveness of a well-rounded recovery plan.
Elements of a Character Resumé
What goes into our character resumé? The answer is anything and everything that stimulates a positive personal response. The character resumé is not a static document but an evolving, living entity. Entries can include our rediscovered character strengths, virtues, and attributes; positive personal affirmations; positive autobiography; rational responses to our automatic negative thoughts (ANTs), happy memories; things we enjoy; and self-esteem self-analysis or other self-esteem inventories.
Positive Personal Affirmations. PPAs are self-motivating and empowering statements that help us focus on goals, challenge negative, self-defeating beliefs, and reprogram our subconscious minds. Providing all the neural benefits of positive reinforcement, PPAs self-describe who and what we aspire to in our emotional development.
PPAs are rational, reasonable, possible, positive, unconditional, problem-focused, brief, and first-person present or future time. Think of PPA’s as aspirations or self-fulfilling prophecies that, through deliberate repetition, help replace our abundance of negative with positive neural information. Practicing positive personal affirmations is a highly effective form of deliberate, repetitive neural input of information.
Positive Autobiography. Our positive autobiography helps regenerate mindfulness of our successes, achievements, contributions, personal milestones, talents, charitable deeds, and service to others. Mindfully retrieving these positive events and occasions encourages us to recognize and embrace the extraordinariness of our lives, confirming that we are valuable, desirable, consequential, and worthy of all the good things life offers.
Rational Coping Statements are the logical, self-affirming responses to our situational fears, anxieties, and automatic negative thoughts. Example: If we fear rejection in a social situation, rational responses might be, “I belong here as much as anyone.” “I am valuable and significant.” “I am equal to anyone here.” “My fear is irrational.” We execute rational responses through the following process.
Identify our Feared Situation. Where are we when we feel anxious or fearful, and what activities are involved? What are we thinking? What might we be doing? Who and what impacts these insecure feelings?
Identify our Associated Fear(s). One way to identify our fears (anxieties) is to ask ourselves: What is problematic about the situation? How do I feel (physically, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually)? What is my specific concern or worry? What is the worst thing that could happen to me? What do I imagine will happen to me?
Unmask our Corresponding ANTs. How do we express our fear or anxiety? What are our involuntary emotional expressions or images? How do we negatively self-label? What do we tell ourselves? “I am incompetent.” “I am stupid.” “I am undesirable.”
Examine and Analyze Our Fear(s) and ANTs. What are the origins of our fears and anxieties? How do we express them? Discovery approaches include cognitive comprehension, introspection, psychoeducation, and the vertical arrow technique.
Generate Rational Coping Statements. We become mindful of the irrationality and self-destructive nature of our associated fears, anxieties, and corresponding ANTs. We unmask, examine, and analyze the cognitive distortions and maladaptive that validate or reinforce them. Then, we devise rational responses to counter their false assumptions.
Happy Memories and Things We Enjoy. These two subjective lists are developed and expanded throughout the recovery program as introspection and other positive recovery methods reclaim them from the recesses of our minds. Due to our cognitive biases and distortions, we forget the pride, joy, and satisfaction these events and experiences bring to our thoughts, behaviors, and positive patterns within our neural network. Happy memories and joyful experiences are potent forces in regenerating our self-esteem.
Self-Esteen Self-Analysis. There are a plethora of clinically approved self-esteem inventories and scales, including, but hardly limited to, the Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory (CSEI), Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (RSE), and Sorenson Self-Esteem Test.
One that we utilize as a valuable element of our character resumé is called Self-Esteem Self-Analysis, a subjective evaluation that encourages introspection and self-awareness, helping us identify what we like about ourselves mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, and socially.
In Conclusion
A written record of our achievements and strengths is a powerful tool for self-reflection and self-improvement, helping us stay organized and in control of our personal development.
When challenged by negative self-appraisal or automatic negative thoughts, our character resumé constantly reminds us of our qualities and assets—a written evaluation of our value and significance. This indispensable resource helps alleviate self-destructive thoughts, behaviors, and other adverse self-beliefs.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
ReChanneling accepts guest posts on social anxiety and related conditions for publication on our website as part of our broader outreach into the community. Listening to and sharing the stories, experiences, and expertise of others broadens our perspective and those of our readers.
ReChanneling is a platform that values your voice. Your contributions on social anxiety and comorbidities are not just appreciated, they are powerful. By supplementing our articles and reviews with your ideas, opinions, and experiences, we create a comprehensive overview of emotional malfunction and recovery methods, enriched by your unique perspective.
Do you feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending loop, unable to live the life you want? Do you feel distant from your peers and struggle to connect with family and friends? Do you avoid new relationships, fearing rejection? Do you find yourself making the same mistakes over and over again?
Do you feel like you’re constantly under scrutiny, with everyone around you judging or criticizing? Do you worry about making a bad impression on people who may not even matter to you? Are you overly concerned about your actions, appearance, and how you express yourself? Do you worry that people will notice you sweating or blushing? That your voice will tremble and become incoherent?
Do you incessantly replay adverse events in your head? Do you constantly relive all the discomforting things that happen to you during the day? Do you avoid meeting people or going on dates because you anticipate disaster? Do you beat yourself up for all those lost opportunities?
ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) alleviate symptoms of emotional malfunction and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing scientific and clinically practical methods, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral self-modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem.
“It is one of the best investments I have made in myself, and I will continue to improve and benefit from it for the rest of my life.” – Nick P.
Topics should focus on (a) mental health, (b) social anxiety {disorder}, (c) anxiety, depression, and comorbidities, or (d) self-empowerment.
1. Scholarly articles and reviews
Original and not posted anywhere on the internet. This provision avoids duplicate content that can confuse search engines. However, you can link your article or items within your article to previously posted and similar information. Our posting will provide links to your website and other accounts as appropriate.
2. Personal reflections and experiences
Your experiences with social anxiety and other emotional malfunctions, and how you cope with symptoms and situations, can have a profound impact on others. Your methods of recovery and reflections are not just beneficial, but they are also influential and inspiring to those who are going through similar situations. By sharing your journey, you can empower and inspire others.
Email your submission or proposal to rmullenphd@gmail.com. Once received, our team will review your submission and get back to you within one week.
WHY IS YOUR SUPPORT SO NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL? ReChanneling develops and implements programs to (1) mitigate symptoms of social anxiety and related conditions and (2) pursue personal goals and objectives – harnessing our intrinsic aptitude for extraordinary living. Our paradigmatic approach targets the personality through empathy, collaboration, and program integration utilizing neuroscience and psychology, including proactive neuroplasticity, cognitive-behavioral modification, positive psychology, and techniques designed to regenerate self-esteem. All donations support scholarships for groups and workshops.
INDIVIDUAL RECOVERY. The symptoms of social anxiety make it challenging for some to participate in a collective workshop. Dr. Mullen works one-on-one with a select group of individuals uneasy in a group setting. ReChanneling offers scholarships to accommodate the costs. What is missed in group activities is provided in our monthly, no-cost Graduate Recovery Group. In this supportive community, graduates interact with others who have completed the program. Contact ‘rmullenphd@gmail.com’.
Committing to recovery is one of the hardest things you will ever do. It takes enormous courage and the realization that you are of value, consequential, and deserving of happiness.
